Was He Out of Line or Did She Overreact?

LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
Last night around 6:30 pm my door bell rang. It was a neighbor of mine who is a tennis instructor. I met him a couple of years ago becuz my patio faces the tennis court. He has been at my place before, just as a friend. He said he came over just to catch up with what is going on in my life,. I opened a bottle of wine & we played catch up. He is a very nice man. My roommate was cooking dinner for herself & her daughter. She had met him before. She didn't seem to have a problem that he just dropped in. I had to walk a neighbor's dog at 7:30 pm & asked if he wanted to go with me. He said no that he would just hang out at my place. I told him I would be gone about 10 minutes. Everything seemed fine when I came back. He was on the sofa drinking his wine & my roommate was in her room with her daughter. He left soon after & I got a text from my roommate. She seems to prefer texting from her room instead of talking to me face to face. She was upset becuz while I was gone he knocked on her bedroom door. She said hello & he opened the door. He wanted to give her his business card in case she might be interested in taking tennis lessons. He put his apt # & cell # on the back of the card. She thought it was rude of him to open the door with her just saying hello & also asked me if I left the apt so they could be alone together. I told her I had no idea he was coming over & I left to walk a dog. I also told her I would not try to set her up with anyone. I asked her to please talk to me face to face & she never responded. I'm feeling a little pissed this morning. Recently she brought a man into my place who she met online & had been on only one date with him. He was in her bedroom watching tv & they both went to the pool to swim. I didn't say a thing even tho' I wasn't comfortable with him being here since neither of us knew him that well. IDK I really don't want an issue becuz I do like her as a roommate. Better than most I have had living here. She definitely has a wall up & that makes it hard for me to communicate with her.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."

Comments

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    OMG I lost my response twice!


    Anyway, I don't think she overreacted; you guys just need to talk more about expectations. Having roommates is hard! Esp when you're dating and inviting company over.


    Hard to say why she prefers to text over talking. It could be a wall or not. It could be that she was angry and didn't want to raise her voice at you. Or maybe she thought you'd be angry if she approached you directly. Could be anything. Try again at a neutral time?

  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    Thanks, Spider. It is really hard to talk to her. When she comes in the door she is like the energizer rabbit & is on her phone constantly talking. She will even be on her phone as she is cooking and bathing her daughter. I eat my dinner early becuz I feel I am in her way in the kitchen. Seriously, all 4 burners are going and my kitchen is small. I dog sit so I will take the dogs in my room so they won't be in her way. You know how dogs love to be around when you are cooking or eating. LOL She doesn't seem to care for dogs. Her daughter seems to be afraid of them. The daughter came into my room last night b4 all the drama & one of my dogs licked her on her foot. She said the dog bit her. Heaven Forbid if she tells her mom one of my dogs bit her. I am going to try to talk to her this evening. This texting crap has to stop.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • rouquinnerouquinne Registered Users Posts: 13,737 Curl Connoisseur
    i think she way overreacted, however, i don't think he should have knocked on her door like that either.

    also, she should not have had the date over to your house without clearing it with you first.

    and, yes, the texting MUST stop!
    My blog:

    http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

    Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Texting is like leaving notes instead of communicating directly. It's passive aggressive, rude and immature.

    I don't think she overreacted. I'd be beyond annoyed if my roommates guest(or even my roommate) just opened the door, that's way out of line.

    As far as having company over, that's tricky, maybe you guys need to define who comes over or not. I personally would feel way too restricted if i couldn't bring over a guy after going on one date but it's understandable and that's why I would never have roommates. I think it's reasonable to have to be present though when you have a visitor over, especially a male(including your neighbor).
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    It sounds like several things are creating a somewhat awkward atmosphere. If she cooks a lot, maybe sit down in the kitchen for a few minutes and shoot the breeze with her. Ask her if she feels things are working out with the living arrangement. If she is happy there.


    Having roommates is HARD. I had anywhere from 1 - 7 while I was in college and there was a lot of drama. I am an only child and it was hard for me to adjust to all that (nevertheless, I think I handled it better than others).


    I just had to share my bathroom w/ my bf for the past week bc my mother came to visit bc I didn't want her using my kids' bathroom. And I had to adjust to my mother leaving stuff all over the kitchen, which I'm not used to. (Who the heck wraps cut up tomatoes in a paper towel and puts them in the fridge???? OMG What it that??!)


    It was fun having her but the stress caused me to wake up sick today. (I become exhausted and get the flu whenever I am stressed.)


    I guess what I meant earlier about not thinking she overreacted is that there is a wide range of acceptable reactions to things. Not that she was necessarily right or wrong. Same with the texting. Some ppl prefer it. Or maybe there was a reason for it. I prbly wouldn't demand that she stop texting. I would just make sure she is happy there and then compromise on things.

  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    (Who the heck wraps cut up tomatoes in a paper towel and puts them in the fridge???? OMG What it that??!)

    Haha, control freak! I would, what's the big deal??
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Josephine wrote: »
    (Who the heck wraps cut up tomatoes in a paper towel and puts them in the fridge???? OMG What it that??!)

    Haha, control freak! I would, what's the big deal??


    Wet and soggy? Fridge shelf not clean. No one will eat it. Ughhhh why? lol

  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Josephine wrote: »
    (Who the heck wraps cut up tomatoes in a paper towel and puts them in the fridge???? OMG What it that??!)

    Haha, control freak! I would, what's the big deal??


    Wet and soggy? Fridge shelf not clean. No one will eat it. Ughhhh why? lol

    Maybe she'd eat it?

    But yes, roommates are very difficult.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Josephine wrote: »
    Josephine wrote: »

    Haha, control freak! I would, what's the big deal??


    Wet and soggy? Fridge shelf not clean. No one will eat it. Ughhhh why? lol

    Maybe she'd eat it?

    But yes, roommates are very difficult.

    That's what Ziploc baggies, aluminum foil and plastic wrap are for! Paper towels are not for this!!! They look like wet turds in the fridge. icon_thumbdown.gificon_shaking.gificon_eek.gificon_puke_l.gif

  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    She is at work & I texted her that we needed to talk tonight. She texted back that she didn't want to drag this on. I texted back & told her once again that we need to talk tonight. She texted back & said ok. I just want to clear this up. I don't want her thinking I had this man come over with the intentions of them meeting. Not my style. She didn't respond to my text back to her last night, so I feel she doesn't believe me. It's hard to talk to her at meal time. She is on her phone talking constantly while she is cooking & takes their plates into the bedroom to eat. No way to talk to her. She is on the phone while bathing her daughter. She stays in her room most of the time when they are here. I'm going to tell her that it is important to me that she and her daughter are happy here & feel safe & that I would never do anything to threaten that. I also feel that the man didn't mean any harm. He was just lacking in social skills. I understand she doesn't really know him. It was a weird situation & I want it to be taken care of. I need closure with this.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Josephine wrote: »


    Wet and soggy? Fridge shelf not clean. No one will eat it. Ughhhh why? lol

    Maybe she'd eat it?

    But yes, roommates are very difficult.

    That's what Ziploc baggies, aluminum foil and plastic wrap are for! Paper towels are not for this!!! They look like wet turds in the fridge. icon_thumbdown.gificon_shaking.gificon_eek.gificon_puke_l.gif

    Haha, yea some of us don't care!!
  • curlisue1curlisue1 Registered Users Posts: 494 Curl Novice
    I think it's strange that he stayed at the house when you left. Especially since it sounds like he doesn't know your roommate. If I had been her I would have been a little uncomfortable that someone came over to see you and then stayed when you left. And then came into my bedroom.



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    I don't think it was so odd that he stayed since we've known each other for 2 years & he has been at my place before. I was only gone for 10 minutes. I do think it was odd that he would knock on her bedroom door to give her one of his business cards. He could have left one with me.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • rouquinnerouquinne Registered Users Posts: 13,737 Curl Connoisseur
    psst! Jo, SL - has no one heard of a tomato keeper?

    https://www.amazon.ca/Hutzler-357-Tomato-Saver/dp/B001CCYNWQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491264782&sr=8-1&keywords=tomato+keeper

    :D

    i also have one for onions, another for limes, and one for peppers! i got them at the dollar store.
    My blog:

    http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

    Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    We had a great conversation tonight. Such relief. I also agree do not wrap a tomato in a paper towel after it has been cut. It will soak up all the juices. LOL!
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    rouquinne wrote: »
    psst! Jo, SL - has no one heard of a tomato keeper?

    https://www.amazon.ca/Hutzler-357-Tomato-Saver/dp/B001CCYNWQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491264782&sr=8-1&keywords=tomato+keeper

    :D

    i also have one for onions, another for limes, and one for peppers! i got them at the dollar store.

    Ha, I have a clear one for lemons, it's so cute.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    rouquinne wrote: »
    psst! Jo, SL - has no one heard of a tomato keeper?

    https://www.amazon.ca/Hutzler-357-Tomato-Saver/dp/B001CCYNWQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491264782&sr=8-1&keywords=tomato+keeper

    :D

    i also have one for onions, another for limes, and one for peppers! i got them at the dollar store.


    I will have these the next time she visits!
    icon_compress.gif

  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Thanks, both of you! No excuses now!

  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    I love how threads can turn. i feel like posting a recipe or something. LOL! I'm wanting to try this. Taco Casserole Recipe - Food.com
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Looks good. I want to try this next -

    https://www.recipe30.com/chicken-francaise.html/

    chicken-francese-848x477.jpg
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    curlisue1 wrote: »
    I think it's strange that he stayed at the house when you left. Especially since it sounds like he doesn't know your roommate. If I had been her I would have been a little uncomfortable that someone came over to see you and then stayed when you left. And then came into my bedroom.



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


    I'm guessing he's interested in her and was hoping for a few moments alone with her. I would have been creeped out though as well!


    Weird ass Mom & her tomatoes! So something my Mother would do lol


    Not a printed recipe, but I've been making fake pad thai and its like crack!


    Boil glass noodles.
    While they are cooking sauté garlic in olive oil, add a good spoon of peanut butter. When melted and saucy add a splash of soya sauce & sesame oil, and a handful of peanuts. When noodles are done, add to sauce and toss to coat. Serve with garlic chilli & lime.......AMAZING!


    I think that's all I had!
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Registered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    I'm from TX so I have been trying to make the perfect chili for years. I have tried so many recipes & even my own versions. I haven't found it. I finally figured out that I really don't like chili that much. :tongue5:

    I make a very good roast in the crockpot. I brown the beef and add carrots, potatoes, onions, golden mushroom soup & dry onion soup mix. I will cook it on low for 8 hours. I make my beef stew the same way. It smells so good cooking & everyone loves it.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."

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