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My 5 year old hates her curly hair...thanks disney.

mrzrapp2015mrzrapp2015 Posts: 117Registered Users Curl Neophyte
My 5 year old constantly complains about her curly hair and how she wishes she had straight BLONDE hair. Im black and her father is white. I used to perm my hair so the comments used to be "mommy why isnt my hair straight like yours?" It made me so sad she didnt love herself. She watched things like Frozen and Cinderella and that jist hardened her resolve that the most beautiful girls have straight blonde hair. I decided to cut off my relaxed hair in Feb because i wanted to show her that mommys hair is curly too. It helped some. I try to go online and show her beautiful women that have hair like hers. that shes beautiful just the way she is. But a 5 year old sees beauty in her disney prinseess...we need a curly disney princess. A couple...all different skin color shades and textures. Have any moms or dads had thier daughters or sons hate thier hair???


  • curlyamarylliscurlyamaryllis Posts: 285Registered Users
    Hug your daughter for me.

    When I was 5, I heard my grandmother say that I got my fathers nose. I knew my grandmother hated my father, so I hated my nose for the next 20 years, no lie. Eventually, I realized it's just a nose. It smells things and helps hold up my glasses. It's fine.

    I would continue to show your daughter curly hair. Every day, show her women and girls with hair like hers. There are books, websites and shows aimed at helping black girls see their beauty in a sea of white media, they can help.

    But what will help more is your embracing you. Pat yourself on the back. She comes from you, she needs to see you loving yourself so she can love herself. You are a wonderful mother, she's lucky to have you.
    CG since May 1, 2016
    3a (at the moment), fine, thin, highly porous, no elasticity (bleach and heat damage)
    most luck so far with KCKT and KCCC with a little jojoba oil to SOTC *tried diffusing! wow!*
    LALSG for high humidity
    SM Weightless Texture Spray for refreshing
    gelatin PT 2x per week, DT 3x per week
  • mrzrapp2015mrzrapp2015 Posts: 117Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Oh thanks so much. I knew the only way i could genuinely get her to feel beautiful in her own skin was for me to show her i feel beautiful in mine. She sees me growing my hair out and i try to show her as much as possible people ware curly hair and how beautiful we are. I hope its sinking in...i still hear her say she wishesfor straight hair whenever she sees someone with it. Work in progress. Youve made me feel great though.
  • dsgentdsgent Posts: 15Registered Users
    Watch Brave with your daughter.

    Sent from my SGH-T999 using CurlTalk App
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,132Registered Users
    Maybe I am wrong, but this seems like this goes beyond Disney. Merida of Brave has very curly hair that is even a little kinky and wiry, definitely in the 3b/3c range. Tia has medium dark brown skin and very curly hair and is either black or African-American. Many of the Disney princesses have wavy hair.

    Not sure exactly what your daughter looks like ethnicity or race wise, but I understand that people who don't fit in the norm can sense it when no one remotely looks like them. I have sensed this at certain times in my life. What you're doing is great. Fortunately, kids programming is becoming more diverse. However, there aren't too many type 4 princess or girly girls on cartoons and kid programming.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using CurlTalk App
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • sarahisarahi Posts: 55Registered Users
    Have her watch Home (it's a cartoon movie) the main character is an African american little girl with curly hair. There's a show on it too, on Netflix.
    3A/3B - Fine - Medium Density
    Porosity ~ Medium/High
    Cowash-As I Am Coconut Co-wash
    LOC: KCKT-Almond Oil-Devacurl Styling Cream-KCCC
    Hair length - APL
    Short term goal: BSL
    Long term goal:Waist Length
  • mrzrapp2015mrzrapp2015 Posts: 117Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    yes she loves home!! That is a good one. My son hes two but has wavy hair loves that movie as well.
  • MorrisonFan91MorrisonFan91 Posts: 562Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Thank you for nurturing your daughter's esteem.

    My dad has tried his best to do opposite.
  • Curlista93Curlista93 Posts: 398Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    That is so sweet. :)

    Sent from my SM-G920P using CurlTalk App
    4a/3c, Low Porosity, Fine Texture
  • mrzrapp2015mrzrapp2015 Posts: 117Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    This is her. I picked her fine 3c hair out into an afro she loved it. Beautiful isnt she. Her name is LILY.
  • mrzrapp2015mrzrapp2015 Posts: 117Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Im so sorry to the ladies who said thier parents gave them a tough time about thier curls. Im so happy to hear youre all loving your curls now.
  • naturecatnaturecat Posts: 1,986Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It's great you're teaching her to love her curls. Maybe show her the before/after CG pictures thread on this site:
    Though there aren't many photos of children on it, but maybe seeing many other women who hated (but now love and embrace) their hair and how beautiful it can be might be inspiring to her.

    Super baby fine hair, low porosity
    Shampoos: SM Fruit Fusion (mostly), Avalon lemon (to clarify). Occasional aloe vera and glycerin to wash.
    Stylers: Intelligent Nutrients Perfect Hold Hairspray
    Treatments: Catnip tea, IA girl's PT, Fermented Rice Water, Catnip Tea, Amla tea, Irish Moss, SS PT
  • curlyannie80curlyannie80 Posts: 333Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Your daughter has beautiful hair, I love it. Also, I wanted to say, my daughter's name is also Lily :). Lily Marie

    Sent from my XT1254 using CurlTalk App
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Merida and Tiana are curly Disney princesses. But honestly, the whole Disney princess thing (older ones anyway) are so out of touch and anti-woman. (I wasn't even allowed to watch those movies as a child.) They really need to be accompanied by a long conversation if you're going to show them to a little girl nowadays. And imo, if you're raising an African American daughter, (esp a biracial one) you need to literally double-up on proBlack images to counter the deluge of White normative ones.

  • mrzrapp2015mrzrapp2015 Posts: 117Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Your daughter has beautiful hair, I love it. Also, I wanted to say, my daughter's name is also Lily :). Lily Marie

    Sent from my XT1254 using CurlTalk App

    Lily Marie was ALMOST her name!!! That's my middle name...but I went with my mom's instead...small world.

    Sent from my SM-G550T1 using CurlTalk App
  • mrzrapp2015mrzrapp2015 Posts: 117Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Yes THATS exactly what I've been doing. It's helping...yesterday she asked me to fluff out her curls into an afro cause my mom showed her a picture of Angela Davis lol...then I got a call from a teacher that she pushed a little boy down for hitting her and saying her hair was ugly....i got her ice cream 😂😂😂😂 I'm determined to counter every eurocentric beauty standard I encounter to let her know she is beautiful. BTW my fro is getting bigger as well and I'm absolutely loving it...You ladies are AWESOME

    Sent from my SM-G550T1 using CurlTalk App
  • curlysuewhocurlysuewho Posts: 6Registered Users
    There's a difference between hating your hair because of peer pressure or the pressure to be "like everyone else" and hating your hair because you can literally do nothing with it. I struggle sometimes with those of us that are curly hair advocates not understanding the real struggle when the comb stops midway through the crown of your head. It's ok to admit that it's not all sunshine and rainbows!! :icescream:
  • curlyclodcurlyclod Posts: 6Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't have kids, but I remember when I was a kid in the 1970's Farrah Fawcett was the ideal and we all wanted to look like her. I remember having a conversation with a friend about how we were going to have straight blonde hair and blue eyes when we grew up.

    By the '80's, however, tans, full lips and curly perms were in...

    I think this is just a phase for her. Kids often pick out the most stereotyped thing when they're little but get over it. Like little girls who only want to wear pink princess dresses but are super tomboys by age 8.

    The best thing is to model positivity towards your own hair (and hers) which you are doing by going natural. Realize, too, that she will have her own hair journey because she is half you but also half her father. This is a beautiful thing.

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