Advice? Insecurity?

TakniiTaknii Posts: 27Registered Users Curl Neophyte
I'm 16 and have been natural since Saptemver. I wanted to go natural because I thought it was awesome how women defied society's standards and decided to wear their hair without pressing it or weave or anything. But now I don't know what to do because I feel like I won't look good with short natural hair. Plus my hair is type 4 and I'm kinda just like. Ugh. I think this has something to do with not liking my appearance in general but idk. My family believes it's unprofessional and peers at school judge me for it so I'm kinda running on a 'no support' thing here. Ig I'm trying to find a hairstyle that suits me and maybe some more advice on what to do.

Comments

  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Posts: 578Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'd start with developing confidence within as well. Regardless of how we wear our hair, dress, etc., there'll always be societal forces telling us that we are not good enough. Go natural, yes, but cultivate other ways to develop confidence and self-esteem such playing sports, volunteering, getting a part-time job and learning how to save $$, book club, etc....anything that helps you feel better about yourself mentally.

    The more confident you are, the less it'll matter to you when other people attempt to put you down over your appearance.

    As far as your specific hair type and how to style it, I recommend YouTube. Seek out other naturals with your hair type, desired cut and immerse yourself in the information they provide.
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • JoonlilyJoonlily Posts: 51Registered Users
    I'd start with developing confidence within as well. Regardless of how we wear our hair, dress, etc., there'll always be societal forces telling us that we are not good enough. Go natural, yes, but cultivate other ways to develop confidence and self-esteem such playing sports, volunteering, getting a part-time job and learning how to save $$, book club, etc....anything that helps you feel better about yourself mentally.

    The more confident you are, the less it'll matter to you when other people attempt to put you down over your appearance.

    As far as your specific hair type and how to style it, I recommend YouTube. Seek out other naturals with your hair type, desired cut and immerse yourself in the information they provide.

    Beautifully said, Catitude!
    One of my favorite blogs that talks about this is Beauty Redefined I still read it often, especially when I need a reminder that my worth is not defined by my hair, or my face, or my body. If you need encouragement, this is a great place to find it.

    As for your hair, there is ton of information here on helping your hair to be as healthy and strong as possible. Check out the threads for different textures (2s, 3s, 4s), and porosity (low, average, high). I've found great tips and ideas from exploring the whole texture spectrum. This is a also a great thread to get started

    And let us know if you need a boost! There are some wonderful people on this board who will support you in whatever you decide to do with your hair, and will cheer you on in the natural hair journey.
    2a canopy, 2c/3a everywhere else
    Medium porosity/density
    Modified CG since 2014


    • Low-poo: SM fruit fusion/ SM coconut hibiscus
    • Conditioner: Rotating SM and Deva One Condii
    • LI: SM Curl & style milk
    • Styler/Gel: Cantu curl activator, Deva UDG

    • Experimenting with protein and lightweight oils, so far my hair LOVES PROTEIN. (IAGirl Protein treatment)
    • DIY addict

    Working on loving my hair, no matter what kind of a day it's having.
  • Therese1Therese1 Posts: 2,376Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    First of all, I am so sorry that you are not getting any support in this. That's really not fair. :(

    What helped me the most with my hair was reading the book Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey. You can get it at the library if you don't want to purchase it. If they don't have it at your local library, they can get it for you via somethign called interlibrary loan. The author talks about how curly hair is different from straight hair and some of the things that we have to do to take care of it properly. I don't follow all of her suggestions anymore, since not everything worked for me, but it was a great starting point.
    Low poo: Intelligent Nutrients (IN) Harmonic; Oribe Cleansing Creme
    RO: IN Harmonic
    LI: CJ Beauticurls; Jessicurl (JC) Gelebration Spray
    DC: JC Deep Conditioning Treatment; Weleda Rosemary Conditioning Oil
    Stylers: JC Confident Coils; IN Volumizing Spray; IN Perfect Hold Hairspray; John Masters Sea Mist; Bumble Bb. Gel; Kenra Firm-Hold Gel; Sevi Blue Yarrow Sea Salt Spray
    Low-porosity 2a/b baby-fine hair
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,343Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    you've come to the right place for support. i am sure once you are pleased with your hair, you will see that others start to accept it, even like it. but, that isn't important, altho i totally understand the power of peers for teens.i grew up with straight hair being totally in, hated my hair and did not know what to do with it. i wish the curly girl method was around then as i think if i knew my hair was curly, not just frizzy, and how the take care of it, i would have gotten enjoyment out of wearing it curly.

    another thought i had is that sometimes when people are critical about something about our appearance it really has to do with how they feel about themselves. maybe they would be too afraid to go against the trends and wear their hair natural. you might even end up being their inspiration, seriously!

    there are a couple of great forums on here that you might find especially helpful -- the 4 forum, and the teens forum. anywhere on here tho you will find support and as much info/help as we can give.

    as you continue on your natural journey you will learn more about your hair and how you want to wear it. it's a process we all go thru.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • curlyamarylliscurlyamaryllis Posts: 338Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    You know, I started wearing my natural curl pattern 6 weeks ago. (It is pretty cool defying the beauty-industrial complex, isn't it?) I didn't even know I had curls, I thought I maybe had waves. So, it's been a little surprising to see spirals everywhere. I don't really know what to think.

    But, every time I think my hair is a total garbage fire, some total stranger approaches me to ask me where I get my hair done! That never happened when I straightened my hair. It's happened 3 times now!

    I think you and I don't know how to see ourselves yet. We're so used to straight haired us, we don't know how to see curly haired us, so all we see is ugly. But you're not ugly, you're very pretty, and I don't think strangers are asking me who does my hair because I look ugly. I think we need to learn how to see our natural beauty.
    CG since May 1, 2016
    3a, fine, thin, normal porosity, no dye, greying naturally
    Devacurl Weightless Waves Low Poo & Conditioner, B'Leave-in and Ultra Defining Gel
    Curl Junkie Spiral Lotion in low humidity
    Ouidad Advanced Heat & Humidity Gel mixed with UDG for high humidity
    at home gelatin PT
    Hask Argan Oil Deep Conditioner
  • TakniiTaknii Posts: 27Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Thank you guys, I appreciate it :icescream:

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