How do you get your hair like that?

kdcreighkdcreigh Posts: 736Registered Users
I was out shopping yesterday and an African American lady came over to me and asked "How do you get your hair like that?" I replied "That's how it grows, I just put gel in it." She then asked me how I got it to do spirals - did I twist it? I said no, that's how it grows. She then looked at my roots and said it grows out like that, in spirals? I again said yes. She looked at me like she thought I was lying, and asked me if my hair had always looked like that. I said no, when I was a child my mom used to brush it, so it looked frizzy, but this was indeed my natural texture. She finally (grudgingly) accepted this and moved on. :lol:

I understand her confusion. A few years ago I would've assumed the same thing - that a dark-skinned African American woman couldn't have spirals without doing something (chemically or manually) to her hair. I've learned a lot since then. Hopefully the "natural hair revolution" will touch more African American women.
YES WE CAN!

kdcreigh 4a and b (who knows?:dontknow:)

Relegated to occasional lurking in order to keep the PJ in check!
:lurk:

http://public.fotki.com/kdcreigh/
PW: natural
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  • eccentric_kurlzeccentric_kurlz Posts: 4,151Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    It's funny and sad at the same time, you know? The fact that most AA women don't know that their hair does have a natural curl or wave pattern(no matter how loose or tight), and assume that if it does, it was the result of chemical manipulation, just shows how much further there is to go.

    The same thing happened to me, but instead of it being a random person, it was my father. We were going somewhere, and I was talking about something concerning hair, and he asked me how I got my hair the way it is. I say that's the way it is; wash, condition, and pretty much go. I think he assumed that when when I'd do my hair, that I was spending all of my time trying to get my hair to look the way that it does. I could understand if I relaxed for a long time how there would be some confusion, but I was natural all the way up to 9th grade, and relaxed for only about 9 years of my life. The majority of my life had been spent as a natural. He'd seen my hair curly, and in fact, I got my first relaxer while staying with him during the summer, so he knew that my hair wasn't naturally straight. :?

    Anyway, her comment most likely will not be the last.
    A wonderful mix of coils, curls, corkscrews, and kinks.

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  • afro*T*siacafro*T*siac Posts: 7Registered Users
    Funny that you posted about this.

    I get asked this same question ALL THE TIME! Same scenario.

    "Did you twist it?"
    "No, I didn't."
    "Well then how did you get it to curl?"
    "It will curl like this when it's wet. I put product in it to hold the curl once it dries."
    "Oh, you put something in it to make it curl?"
    "No, I put product in it to hold the curl."

    I explain that this is my hair's natural texture and that their hair would probably behave the same way in an unrelaxed state. I also get asked if my hair is real, all the while thinking to myself that if I was going to get a weave, it would be Diana Ross style down my back, not my short curly 'do I currently have.
  • PJcurlPJcurl Posts: 71Registered Users
    Today at Rite Aid picking up GF Soft Curl creme, a older woman and her husband ( I assume) were arguing over her buying some hair stuff, she had an old apple cap on her head and she turned to me and said;
    Who does your hair?
    I said I do..
    Oh you can twist your own hair..pointing at me she sez to her husband, if i could do that i would not have to pay someone to do my hair or buy all this stuff.
    I had to laugh..especially at the *stuff* part, if only she knew. I told her my hair was curly naturally.
    I asked her how she wears her hair and she said like mine but can't figure out how to take care of it and make it curly.
    Well the talk went to me looking at her hair..she was a solid 4a with red highlights and her hair was dry as a bone. I wrote down this site and a few others and suggested CG and explained it sorta kinda.
    Right there in Rite aid I took out my lavendar spray and scrunched some in the back of her hair, it curled up and was so adorable...
    We talked for a bit longer and she is going to Wilshire Beauty tomorrow to see a wonderful woman there for some products and I hope she visits here too.
    It made me feel good to help her and for all the issues I am having with my hair these days (alopecia, bad cut etc) I needed to have someone say they liked it :)
    It's a shame so many adult women don't know the hair that grows out of our heads but each comment is an opportunity to school em!
    HG: WEN Sweet Almond
    Ojon RT
    Oils (jojoba, olive, sapote, carrot)
    Kinky curly custard
    Blended Beauty (new fave)
    I will not chop my hair off in frustration this year. I will not..I promise, no braids, no braids, no chopping.
  • PJcurlPJcurl Posts: 71Registered Users
    double post..oops
    HG: WEN Sweet Almond
    Ojon RT
    Oils (jojoba, olive, sapote, carrot)
    Kinky curly custard
    Blended Beauty (new fave)
    I will not chop my hair off in frustration this year. I will not..I promise, no braids, no braids, no chopping.
  • kdcreighkdcreigh Posts: 736Registered Users
    Hi, Ladies,

    I knew that I wasn't alone on this issue. :lol:

    I've actually had this happen once before. A natural hair stylist asked me about my hair and I explained to her, in detail, how I take care of it.

    The lady that ambushed me while I was out shopping had a different agenda. I could tell by her tone of voice and body language that she wasn't interested in learning about how I take care of my hair.
    YES WE CAN!

    kdcreigh 4a and b (who knows?:dontknow:)

    Relegated to occasional lurking in order to keep the PJ in check!
    :lurk:

    http://public.fotki.com/kdcreigh/
    PW: natural
  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    PJcurl do you typically spritz your hair during or throughout the day? my hair is so dry even though it's healthy that i think i might benefit from that. i love the way my hair feels when it's wet but when it dries it gets dry! i never really considered hydrating my hair during the day to keep it soft....but hey we drink water throughout the day to stay hydrated....so why not??
    a dreamy pisces :fish:
    please recycle, it matters...
    i change lives...through fitness
    i'm more relaxed being natural
  • foxycus02foxycus02 Posts: 918Registered Users
    Funny. My friends mother which I ADORE loooves my curls and she swears that my hair curls only because I'm dominican. I'm like WAAAAT you need to see pics of me when I was younger I used to rock like 20 fat puffy braids just like every other lil black girl I grew up with.

    rockin' to the tune of her own beat...


    comic-p.jpg
  • PJcurlPJcurl Posts: 71Registered Users
    luvmylocs wrote:
    PJcurl do you typically spritz your hair during or throughout the day? my hair is so dry even though it's healthy that i think i might benefit from that. i love the way my hair feels when it's wet but when it dries it gets dry! i never really considered hydrating my hair during the day to keep it soft....but hey we drink water throughout the day to stay hydrated....so why not??

    I do keep my spray with me and if i feel like my hair needs it I spritz. I also keep a bit of shea mix with me too..just so i can twirl or smooth a frizzy bit. My hair ain't that well trained yet to stay all day so a little help in the purse works :)
    I agree with your analogy about hydrating body..hydrating hair :)
    HG: WEN Sweet Almond
    Ojon RT
    Oils (jojoba, olive, sapote, carrot)
    Kinky curly custard
    Blended Beauty (new fave)
    I will not chop my hair off in frustration this year. I will not..I promise, no braids, no braids, no chopping.
  • BumbleBCurlyBumbleBCurly Posts: 79Registered Users
    I know I'm not a 4a .. but I have a question. *hopefully you won't mind*

    BUT.. are all african amerian's women's hair naturally curly like yalls? I know they brush it a lot, making it frizzy but if they didn't would it be? Or is it just like white people's hair, all different? I've often wondered this.. just with this topic, I just had to ask. :D
    Only you can make the right decisions for yourself.
  • kdcreighkdcreigh Posts: 736Registered Users
    Hi, Bama,

    African hair comes in all different varieties - from straight to very coily, and varying degrees of softness, just like Caucasian hair.

    Don't worry about asking this kind of question. :wink:
    YES WE CAN!

    kdcreigh 4a and b (who knows?:dontknow:)

    Relegated to occasional lurking in order to keep the PJ in check!
    :lurk:

    http://public.fotki.com/kdcreigh/
    PW: natural
  • MsBMsB Posts: 115Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I was reading this thread the other day and accidentally started a whole new thread with my responce...LOL...guess I'm not the best multi-tasker :)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Author Message
    MsB

    Joined: 07 Mar 2007
    Posts: 30

    Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 12:13 pm Post subject: Great string of posts
    And this seems like the perfect opportunity to say/ask "well what do you do or use in your hair to make it look that great". Really what do you do...I would love if you would share .

    Thanks in advance.

    PS I'm especially interested in the products/leave ins.
  • kdcreighkdcreigh Posts: 736Registered Users
    Hi MsB,

    Thank you!

    The honest answer is that I use lots of things! :lol:

    Here are some of my favorite product combinations for leave-ins/stylers :

    -Curlisto Repair Cream and [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Kinky-Curly-Curling-Custard-p-778.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=kinkycurly-curling-custard]Kinky-Curly Curling Custard[/buylink]
    -A/G [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/AG-Recoil-p-24.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=ag-hair-cosmetics-recoil-curl-activator]Re:coil[/buylink] and A/G Rubberizer
    -MOP c-system curl cream and MOP Glisten Light Hold Gel
    - any leave-in under Sebastian's Wet Gel

    Some of my favorite deep conditioners are My Honey Child honeyhair mask, [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Blended-Beauty-Herbal-Reconditioner-p-380.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=blended-beauty-herbal-reconditioning-treatment]Blended Beauty herbal reconditioner[/buylink], TIGI Bed Head Moisture Maniac. I alternate these depending upon my hair's needs.
    I also use body-art quality henna for a deep protein treatment, and for shine and color enhancement.

    Right now my shampoos are [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/Blended-Beauty-Soy-Cream-Shampoo-p-371.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=blended-beauty-soy-cream-shampoo]Blended Beauty soy cream shampoo[/buylink] and [buylink=http://www.curlmart.com/MOP-C-System-Hydrating-Shampoo-p-919.html?utm_source=naturallycurly.com&utm_medium=text-link&utm_content=curltalk-post-text&utm_campaign=MOP-C-System-Hydrating-Shampoo]MOP c-system hydrating shampoo[/buylink]. I alternate these depending upon my mood. :lol:

    I'm also re-trying some Curls products now that I am more familiar with my natural hair's wants/needs. I'll comment on those in a couple of weeks.
    YES WE CAN!

    kdcreigh 4a and b (who knows?:dontknow:)

    Relegated to occasional lurking in order to keep the PJ in check!
    :lurk:

    http://public.fotki.com/kdcreigh/
    PW: natural
  • MsBMsB Posts: 115Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Thanks so much kd. Do gels leave your hair feeling crisp? I'm thinking about my son when I ask this question :). He has been letting his hair grow and got it trimmed today. He felt the sides where uneven and a little poofy. :::shaking head::::. He told his regular guy he wanted the sides a little shorter than the top...LOL. Well now it looks like he has a poof on top of his head. He's going to wash it in a bit and we'll see if it still looks too tall on the top. If it does he may agree to use something to shrink his hair a little. Mix chicks leave in did that for him, it looked great, but he didn't like that crisp feeling that you often get with products. Do you have any suggestions?
  • kdcreighkdcreigh Posts: 736Registered Users
    Most gels do leave my hair a little crisp, but I'm OK with that. The MOP light hold gel does not leave my hair crisp.

    Your son should look for a light hold gel, or a creamy styler with light hold. Blended Beauty and Curls make creamy stylers with light hold. Check out their websites:

    www.blendedbeauty.com www.curls.biz

    or you can order samples of both lines from www.sistasplace.biz


    These products are scented, so I don't know if he'll have an issue with that.
    YES WE CAN!

    kdcreigh 4a and b (who knows?:dontknow:)

    Relegated to occasional lurking in order to keep the PJ in check!
    :lurk:

    http://public.fotki.com/kdcreigh/
    PW: natural
  • MsBMsB Posts: 115Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Thanks kd. I've been meaning to get some BB products from sistasplace. And I'm really glad they have samples because the fragrance may be an issue. He said he doesn't want to smell like a girl....LOL
  • curlywavybeautycurlywavybeauty Posts: 223Registered Users
    I've had the same things happen to me. Alot of different people some family members some not, are you texturized? how do you get your hair like that, twist out, braid out...I'm like NO, it's my hair.
    African American-to be more specific, Black Native american, White and Creole.
    3b,c and 4a hair
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Hi!

    This thread sounds all too familiar...Anyhoo...

    PJCurl

    You mentioned a lavendar spray that you used to help a woman curl her hair. Which spray is that? I'd like to try. Thanks!

    K42
  • PJcurlPJcurl Posts: 71Registered Users
    Kimshi42 wrote:
    Hi!

    This thread sounds all too familiar...Anyhoo...

    PJCurl

    You mentioned a lavendar spray that you used to help a woman curl her hair. Which spray is that? I'd like to try. Thanks!

    K42

    Something I got from here years ago...just spring water and a few drops of Lavendar EO. I usually buy a gallon of Spring water and then do 10 drops or so of the EO and fill my little spritzer from there when needed. This time i added a little rosemary and peppermint too.
    I think it was just her hair having moisture (water) that made it curl..I am sure that like most of us ...as soon as its without moisture the curl is not so prominent. I sorta use my spritzer to reactivate the products in my hair and fluff it a bit.
    HG: WEN Sweet Almond
    Ojon RT
    Oils (jojoba, olive, sapote, carrot)
    Kinky curly custard
    Blended Beauty (new fave)
    I will not chop my hair off in frustration this year. I will not..I promise, no braids, no braids, no chopping.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    OK. Thanks!
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    i hate when people ask me that. i work in a salon and so it drives me insane when the clients ask me how i got my hair "like that." the same way i did yesterday and the day before that and the day before that!! its not like i dont see these people every single week! 99% of our clients have relaxers and they always ask my sister (the owner/master stylist) to do the same thing to them that she does to my hair (like im lying when i say that i dont do anything to it, this is just what my hair does!) shes like, "no boo...your hair wont do that."
  • mochalatta408mochalatta408 Posts: 214Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I often get asked if I have a straw set. I agree its pretty sad that most african america women dont realize what their own hair looks like under the wigs, weaves, relaxes, heat ect...They should give it a try! 8)
    3c/4a, thick cottony/silky little spiral curls. Loves moisture, hates cones...www.beijaflornaturals.com
  • SmileyfaceSmileyface Posts: 8Registered Users
    I get questioned almost everyday about my hair. When I tell people (especially my own people) that my hair grows like this naturally, they usually act like they don't believe me. So I know what you're talking about. Sometimes it's okay and I don't mind answering, but sometimes it gets a little frustrating--especially when you've answered the same question a million times. I have to admit though, I didn't know a lot about how to care for my hair in its natural state until I visited this (and a couple other) websites. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! :wink:
    HAIR TYPE: 4a

    Life is all about choices!
  • curlynikkicurlynikki Posts: 2,420Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I attended a night class during the spring semester and during the last class (the one before the final), an older black woman who I talked to on a regular basis said, "How do you get your hair like that? I always thought it was a weave, but when I saw you come in with it like that week after week, I figured that it must be yours." I went on to explain that I just use a little gel and leave-in. Although she's currently weaving it up, she hopes to grow out her relaxer over the next couple of years.
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    A supermarket employer ran after me in the parking lot to ask me what I used on my hair. She had a TWA and I was encouraged that she would ask. So I told her about condition washing and air drying and deep treatments and the hair boards. Just encouraged her to keep on working with her hair to let the texture come out. If they're asking, even if they are doubting, they're still asking so that means that have hope for their hair.
    My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
    My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/
    comic-p.jpg

    Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
    Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
  • LBGsk8trLBGsk8tr Posts: 17Registered Users
    I get this question at least twice a day from my customers (I work in a store at our local mall). When someone asks me how I get my hair to curl, I now just respond "God". LOL What I find frustrating is when explain that my hair just does this, the questioner typically looks at me as if I am lying to her. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) I just feel like lying and saying that my friend does it for me.
  • milamonstermilamonster Posts: 25Registered Users
    people make me laugh.
    i had went to my job's christmas party & this black lady came running up to me. and was like oh my gosh i love your hiar, how'd you get it to do that?! and i was just like i washed it and put some gel in it. and then she looked at my sister (who had longish pressed straight hair) cuz i guess she didnt believe me and she confirmed it and then was like pff! the way you dismiss people when they tell you nonsense
    i guess people want to tell you something different lol :lol:
  • missesginamissesgina Posts: 29Registered Users
    I was at the salavation army making one of my weekly purchases (I LOVE THAT PLACE).. The person who rang me..was older.. and perhaps from the generation before the 70's natural look was really hot.. She went off on me.. Granted.. I don't have that fabulous ringlets :( but my hair is clean, healthy..and MINE..

    She looked soo disapointed and shook her head disapprovingly.. What did you do to your hair?? Is that a wig??

    I responded.. If it is a wig.. I most certainly need to get my money back..

    I guess I have to respond with humor.. because being angry means, I have something to be ashamed of.. and I don't.
    4 Years Natural and loving it!

    Definition and elongation is obtained with Kinky-Curly product line. - It's just too sticky :(

    I am about to try Donna Marie - Dream Curling Cream
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • missesginamissesgina Posts: 29Registered Users
    Hey Suburbanbushbabe.. Is that Hugh Lawrie from BlackAdder?? I loved that show!! I have the whole collection.
    4 Years Natural and loving it!

    Definition and elongation is obtained with Kinky-Curly product line. - It's just too sticky :(

    I am about to try Donna Marie - Dream Curling Cream
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • kdcreighkdcreigh Posts: 736Registered Users
    She looked soo disapointed and shook her head disapprovingly.. What did you do to your hair?? Is that a wig??

    How RUDE...and sad. She probably has some self-hatred issues...
    YES WE CAN!

    kdcreigh 4a and b (who knows?:dontknow:)

    Relegated to occasional lurking in order to keep the PJ in check!
    :lurk:

    http://public.fotki.com/kdcreigh/
    PW: natural
  • missesginamissesgina Posts: 29Registered Users
    I feel that that sort of self loathing is taught. There is no logical reason behind having a resentment towards curly hair..or a natural fly fro.. IT WASN'T LIKE IT WAS ON HER HEAD!! She took it soo personally too!!
    4 Years Natural and loving it!

    Definition and elongation is obtained with Kinky-Curly product line. - It's just too sticky :(

    I am about to try Donna Marie - Dream Curling Cream
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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