Negativity

StarmieStarmie Registered Users Posts: 7,169 Curl Virtuoso
Have any of you had to deal with negativity from others about going grey? I have a colleague who stopped chemical colouring when I did, we both developed an allergy and decided to try henna. She's stuck with it and I gave up, didn't like the unpredictability of it, nor the (neon) orange roots. Usually she's very nice and supportive but I came into work tonight and she just blurted out that I should colour my hair again, it looked better with some colour. I just stood my corner and told her I couldn't deal with the orange roots or the possibility of it going too dark if I upped the indigo (conversations we've had before) but she just went on. She's not known for her subtlety and always speaks her mind, usually I don't care but she really annoyed me tonight. Atm she has two inches of orangey roots, then mostly brown hair and some very dark ends, not sure why she thinks I'd want to be going down that route, not exactly a good look imo.
I think she may have touched a nerve as I have a couple of inches of grey and it does look messy just now, I'm tossing up whether to get some more highlights to blend it a bit more.
Why can't people just keep their opinions to themselves?
3b in South Australia.

Comments

  • PerriPPerriP Registered Users Posts: 6,613 Curl Neophyte
    I'm sorry. That's crappy. I find things like this most painful when it's something that I feel a bit insecure about. If someone said those things about my hair, I might cry. (Not in front of them, but it'd really upset me). I think people like that either have such a disconnect between their thoughts and emotions that they'll never get it or they've been treated so horribly in their own lives that they think it's normal.

    ~ sent with love and good intentions ~
    Modified CG since Dec 2011
  • chupiechupie Registered Users Posts: 5,280 Curl Connoisseur
    That's kind of why I gave in.
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • StarmieStarmie Registered Users Posts: 7,169 Curl Virtuoso
    ^I can see why people do.

    I don't feel so bad about it today, it just really irritated me at the time even though I know that's just the way she rolls, I think she turns her filters off sometimes and just speaks her mind without thought to the consequences.
    3b in South Australia.
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 20,731 Curl Virtuoso
    I did have some negativity when I was starting to go grey. I never colored it but various family member. suggested that I should. I came to realize it was more about them feeling older that me looking older.
    I have a thick skin so it never bothered me and it probably just hardened my resolve to never color my hair.
    --I'm located in Western PA.   --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, joined the forums in May 2005, started going grey in late 2005.   --My hair is 3B with some 3A, currently at mid back length when dry,  texture-medium/fine, porosity-top is low, middle is medium, ends are porous, elasticity-normal.   --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, coconut oil, honey, vinegar.   
    --My CG and grey hair progress -  
    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html   
    --My article at NaturallyCurly about going grey - 
    https://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/color/how-i-went-completely-gray-and-loved-it
  • chupiechupie Registered Users Posts: 5,280 Curl Connoisseur
    I do agree that it at least partially has to do with how it makes them feel.
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • eche428eche428 Registered Users Posts: 2,782 Curl Connoisseur
    I've tossed the idea around of going gray for years now. When I mentioned it to my Mom she said "OH NO! I'm not old enough to have a gray haired daughter!" Bahahahahahaha she's in her 70's. Yes. Yes you are Mom! :tongue:
    < member since 2006 (no idea where 1969 came from :toothy10:).

    [FONT=&quot]Med/high porosity; color treated; med [FONT=&quot]d[/FONT]ensity 2c/3a.[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]Summer: (high dew point) co-wash [FONT=&quot]& leave-in [/FONT]Matrix Biolage Cleansing Conditioner for Curly Hair[FONT=&quot]. [/FONT]Ouidad Climate Control Heat & Humidity Gel.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Spring and Fall: (perfect dew point) co-wash & leave-in Curl Junkie Repair Me! or [FONT=&quot]CJ [/FONT]BeautiCurls Strengthening Hair Conditioner; f[FONT=&quot]ollo[/FONT]wed by [FONT=&quot]CJ Pattern Pusha & [/FONT]Curl Queen.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot] W[/FONT]inter: (low dew point) add in [FONT=&quot]CJ [/FONT]Coffee-Coco Curl Creme Lite[FONT=&quot].[/FONT][/FONT]
  • StarmieStarmie Registered Users Posts: 7,169 Curl Virtuoso
    I did have some negativity when I was starting to go grey. I never colored it but various family member. suggested that I should. I came to realize it was more about them feeling older that me looking older.
    I have a thick skin so it never bothered me and it probably just hardened my resolve to never color my hair.

    I have no family here so at least I'm not having to deal with them, though I don't think the SO is entirely on board (who is almost completely grey himself!).
    I have to say I do feel more determined not to go back to colouring, so maybe she helped!
    3b in South Australia.

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