Tell me about your wedding or weddings you have been to

Piglet

Tell me about your wedding and/or weddings you have been to.

I'm getting married soon, so I'm slightly obsessed with weddings.

What was your dress like? What sort of venue(s) did you have? Did you have a theme or colour scheme?

Did anything go wrong? What would you do differently? What was your favourite part about your wedding or weddings you have been to? Was there anything you particularly disliked about any weddings you went to? Did anyone turn up wearing white (or anything otherwise inappropriate)?

If you included elements of your culture or country, how did you do this?

Were there any traditions that were particularly important to you? Were there any traditions you decided to do away with?

Did you have pressure from anyone to do things a certain way?

Any funny stories?

And because this is naturallycurly...what did you do with your hair and did you go to a hair stylist?


Yes, I am also fishing for ideas and tips. I am shameless.

CurlyCanadian

I'm not a fan of "ballroom" type weddings at all. They're very cookie cutter and always come across like you picked one out of a book. People add a ton of their own stuff to them, but they never seem very personal or warm to me.

The best weddings (and also the worst!) I've been to were very low key.

My cousin and his wife got married in my parents barn. They did all the work themselves and it was just stunning, people audibly gasped when they walked in. It rained the day of their wedding, so what was suppose to be a sunset ceremony wound up being in the barn. They didn't do a sit down dinner, but had tons of food going around all night, then a buffet at midnight. It was very black tie, the food was amazing, I think it just worked so well against the backdrop.

Another friend got married at the court house in a small village in Italy. We wandered the square after the ceremony and lots of people came up to them offering blessings. They just wandered around having photos done, then had the reception in this cave restaurant. There were maybe 30 people an most of us didn't know each other, so every course people changed tables so you got to chat with everyone.

I've been to a few weddings where the budget was small, but they tried to make it look huge and that just doesn't work. No issues working with a small budget, but keep it low scale. You can have a beautiful afternoon affair, with sandwiches and punch or something similar.

Munchy

My first wedding sucked. It was at a country club/golf course and we had boring food and I wore an ugly long white dress (I was pregnant). I had one bridesmaid and she wore a red dress, and I think I may have had red flowers. I straightened my hair.

I just got married a month ago, though, and that was fabulous. We rented an island for the weekend and we had everyone stay overnight. They had the ability to stay in houses, cabins, or bring a tent and camp out.
My dress was cocktail length and had 3/4 sleeves, we got married on the beach and followed up with a toast at the gazebo. Our bar was at an outdoor fireplace, and we did the music ourselves. Our reception in the pavilion was decorated in white Christmas lights, sticks, rocks, white candles, and white paper lanterns.
My daughter walked me down the aisle - she wore a blue dress while I had a blue bouquet, and my husband had a blue tie.
We served a soup bar, salad bar, taco bar, and 5 kinds of chicken wings, then followed up with cupcakes. We gave out s'mores kits and flashlights as favors.
The following morning, we had a full breakfast with omelette and belgian waffle stations...it was epic.
I straightened my hair a few days prior and had my friend come and style it all to one side with curls and flowers pinned in.

CurlyCanadian

That sounds so perfect, Munchy!!!

Sanya

I just got married a few weeks ago.

Open air wedding, with red and white as color themes.

I am Eurasian and he is Russian. I incorporated our culture elements into the food, decoration as well as my wedding dress. My wedding dress was cocktail length, half red, half white to reflect my culture.

The exchange of vows and the showing of respects to my parents and grandparents were important to me.

And I put my hair up in an elegant loose bun. I would have loved to wear it down but I was worried about windy weather so up it was!

:love8:

Piglet

Thanks for the responses! I am jealous of the loveliness of your weddings. CurlyCanadian, I'm having a barn wedding too. How did your cousin decorate it? I know what you mean about not wanting a wedding to be too cookie cutter. I've tried to personalise mine as much as possible without blowing the budget or it coming across as too contrived. What do you mean by a 'ballroom' wedding?

Munchy, you could see in your photos that your wedding was such a relaxed and joyful event. You looked beautiful, by the way. Renting an island sounds beyond amazing. It just sounds idyllic. I love the way you continued the wedding to breakfast and it doesn't get much better than a waffle station. I have fond memories of eating waffles when I visited the USA. It was on my list of 'must dos'. I felt ill afterwards due to having eaten too much, but it was so worth it.

Sanya,I love how you incorporated your and your partner's cultures into your wedding. It sounds really special and personal. And congratulations!

Amneris

Piglet wrote: »

Tell me about your wedding and/or weddings you have been to.

I'm getting married soon, so I'm slightly obsessed with weddings.

What was your dress like?


Cream silk, strapless, corset top with pink boning and pink laces up the back, ruched ballroom skirt with pink flowers and crinolines. A cream lace floor-length face-covering mantilla-style veil.




What sort of venue(s) did you have?


Old gothic-style cathedral church for the ceremony and reception at a venue with a rooftop open-air garden and inside, an art gallery and a restaurant/banquet hall


Did you have a theme or colour scheme?


Yes. The overall theme was the opera (because that was what I doing at the time.) The programs were set out with Overture, Acts, post-show reception, Characters, etc. Lots of music, big choir of opera singers, opera singing soloist etc. Opera glasses for favours. Then there was a Caribbean theme to represent our cultures - I walked down the aisle to a steelband, and they also played at cocktail hour, the food was Caribbean-inspired, Caribbean drinks, the table decorations were tropical, Caribbean music at the reception, etc. The colour scheme was all shades of pinks from corals and fuschias to very pale.

Did anything go wrong?


Nothing major. I wasn't feeling well with a migraine at the beginning, that was the main issue! I seem to remember a minor mix-up with limo times that was fixed.


What would you do differently?


If I got married today I would probably walk down the aisle with both parents, not just my papi. I would also consider wearing even more colour. There was a dress I looked at that had a deep red corset and a cream pouffy skirt that I almost got and I might have worn that, although I did love mine. Everything else was perfect.


What was your favourite part about your wedding or weddings you have been to?


Favourite part of mine was the music in the ceremony, the beauty of the nuptial mass in general, seeing everyone come up for communion in their beautiful clothes. Also spending time with close friends and family from all over the world, spending the day with bridesmaids, dancing with everyone at the reception.




Was there anything you particularly disliked about any weddings you went to?


Every wedding is different. I remember one where I found that the church part was really quick - unoriginal readings ("love is patient, love is kind"), not much music and what there was was totally standard - she was a musician and religious and there were tons of singers there and I found that strange. I don't like weddings in standard hotel ballrooms that are just big rooms with not much decoration, white sheets and bows on the chairs. Also I don't like when the food is just a big hunk of meat or a big portabello mushroom and barely any veggies, etc.




Did anyone turn up wearing white (or anything otherwise inappropriate)?


I recall people in white pantsuits at my wedding. Probably I have seen white at other weddings. That's never bothered me. The bride always stands out regardless. No one else wears a big white poufy dress. I think some people get too obsessed over that. I also chose to have some colour in my dress so this clearly isn't as much of an issue with me.

If you included elements of your culture or country, how did you do this?


See above - the decorations, music, food, drinks etc. Also we had Caribbean cake and we added African elements to our unity candle ceremony.

Were there any traditions that were particularly important to you?


The cultural elements such as the cake. I did a lot of things that were important to my family b/c I was young and they were paying - I didn't have an issue with it but if I got married now being older and having my own money I would probably not do them. Most important to me was having friends and family there. We also had messages from family who couldn't come, toasts to both families etc. at the reception.


Were there any traditions you decided to do away with?


I didn't wear straight white. We didn't allow people to "ding" their glasses to make us kiss - they had to answer a Jeopardy-style question.

Did you have pressure from anyone to do things a certain way?

No - I knew what would be important to my family and I was OK with it and some of it was important to me too. I wanted a big, formal wedding and it was big and formal. Had I wanted it to be small and/or informal, there may have been pressure not to do that. My husband initially wanted a buffet meal, but everyone overrode him for sit-down, but later he agreed that that was nicer.

Any funny stories?


Too many to write out here!

And because this is naturallycurly...what did you do with your hair and did you go to a hair stylist?


I went to a stylist because all my ladies wanted to, but I prepped my own hair first by washing it and doing a twist-out - then they put it up - it was just pinned up and curly (but softened curls) - pinned up casually with pieces loose, and I had a headband with faux-diamond circles pinned around it.


Yes, I am also fishing for ideas and tips. I am shameless.

Good luck!

sixelamy

Mine was pastel, and each bridesmad had a different color. My groom wore Blackhawks colors and I made him a Blackhawks necktie. We wanted a unity ceremony while my cousin sang, and we had a heck of a time coming up with something that wasn't "traditional". Each guest had a stone that we collected, then we put it all together into a jar and topped it with a flower. There was a prayer said over the stones before we collected. Everyone thought it was unique and liked it. We also had bubbles blown during the recessional, since our reception was on site. We got married in the country - this family has a house that has a tiny white chapel and a gazebo with the reception hall added onto the barn. It was awesome, we got married outside at the gazebo.

Our DJ was completely disorganized, and our caterer had people sent back to the restaurant because they were busy - so those two things didn't run as smooth as planned. The DJ was asking me the timeline when I sent it to him months ago. I didn't have a program on me and my mind was already in different places.

#1 tip - drink LOTS of water! I dehydrated myself once I started dancing (it was also hot outside for wedding and pictures), so I had to take a half hour break and go and rest in the private office and drink 3 glasses of water. Then I freaked out because my dress was uncomfortable.. should've brought a change of clothes!

My dress and hair both had a renaissance-y feel to it, and I made each bridesmaid a cameo necklace. My dad found a cameo ring either from my grandmother or my great grandmother, so I wore that - fit together perfectly! I had 2 braids on one side, 1 braid on the other, and in the back she did pincurl sort of things.

Piglet

Ooh, I'm envious of your wedding too, Amneris! It sounds so thoughtful, with a nice mix of the traditional and very personal. I found myself nodding at a lot of what you said. I LOVE the look of mantilla veils, but I don't think it would work with me or my dress. It's lovely that you could successfully carry it off. I love the idea of the opera theme. It's different and classy and the way you worked it into your wedding is really original. And you know what? I've been googling away like crazy over the past year on all things weddings, and not once, not once, did I see a wedding with an opera theme.

The Caribbean theme sounds so vibrant and pretty. My other half is African, so I've been trying to incorporate aspects of his home country/culture into the wedding. So far, we are naming the tables after places in his country of origin and the flowers will be brightly coloured (we can't get the actual flowers, so are making do with flowers 'inspired' by his country of origin). We will also play music from his culture as part of the evening disco and for one of the Church readings, we chose a poem by a Black poet. Oh, and we are going to have the national symbol on display at the reception and my fiance will wear cufflinks with a design relating to his country of birth. We would have loved to have food from his culture as well, but there are no caterers who can do this food and I didn't think it was fair or practical to dump the catering on his family. I'm hoping that what we have included will work well.

I have seriously considered walking down the aisle with my mum as well as my dad, but I don't think that all three would fit!

I've had to choose a religious reading for the ceremony and have opted not to go with the Corinthians verse you mentioned because it's so overdone, It is lovely, but I had suspicions it was a bit too popular and this was confirmed when I read online that it was the most popular reading. What readings did you go for in the end?

Your hair and dress sound so pretty. Any chance of seeing any pictures? This is pure nosiness at this point...I've chosen my dress. )

Actually, because I am obsessed, I'd love to see anyone else's wedding pics too!

CurlyCanadian

Piglet wrote: »

Thanks for the responses! I am jealous of the loveliness of your weddings. CurlyCanadian, I'm having a barn wedding too. How did your cousin decorate it? I know what you mean about not wanting a wedding to be too cookie cutter. I've tried to personalise mine as much as possible without blowing the budget or it coming across as too contrived. What do you mean by a 'ballroom' wedding?

Sent you a PM with pics

Amneris covered ballroom wedding well. To me its in a big room at a hotel, usually beautifully decorated, but almost stale maybe? Like you could drop in a corporate Christmas party, a prom, a charity night, whatever. Like the hotel/event place has a book of options and you pick one.

spiderlashes5000

This is one reason I'm reluctant to do it again also; he wants a big, formal wedding and I DONT. I have no ideas and no interest in trying to come up w/ any. I also do not want to drop $30-40Gs for a one-day event.

Is it possible to for it to be cheap and easy and tasteful?

I'm not trying to derail this but I honestly don't understand why this (planning these complicated, overpriced receptions) is fun for anyone, even the first time. Can someone explain? Maybe if I can get into that mindset I might be more receptive to him... (I'm trying!)

CurlyCanadian

spiderlashes5000 wrote: »

Is it possible to for it to be cheap and easy and tasteful?

I think so, as long as you're not trying to make it look like a huge event.

We went to a lovely evening wedding in a pub. Its a really old house turned into a restaurant and the whole thing was done upstairs in a private room. The couple are big sailors, so they brought in lots of rustic boat/marina type stuff, all borrowed from friends. They live down the street from the pub, so walked down with their familes......was very sweet seeing them all arrive

Everyone gathered around the couple while they did their vows (passing a toddler back & forth because he couldn't decide who he wanted to be with lol), then they had a dance. Tons of apps all night, provided wine & beer and hard stuff was a cash bar. One of the funnest weddings I've been to, and I think the bride said all said & done they spend under $5k.

Fifi.G

With 29 first cousins on one side of my family, I have been to a ton of weddings. My favorites are smaller with less fuss. I adore barn and outdoor weddings or small church or older venues. My favorite is probably still my oldest (since the first day of kindergarten) friends. It was in Falls Church Virginia. I can't remember the name of the building but it was in a small, colonial section. Small building that had a banquet area upstairs. Everyone sat at their round dining tables during the ceremony but there were only 6 or 7 tables. This was 1991 or 1992 and she wore a fitted white gown with lace overlay on the top half. It had long sleeves, her hair was in a French twist and she carried long stem red roses. She was marrying a guy in the Navy who wore his dress uniform and only had two people in the party. I was her maid of honor wore a cobalt blue Jessica McClintock halter top dress with a funky ruffled skirt (loved that dress) and the best man wore his Navy dress uniform. The service was short and sweet (well light/simple/beautiful) and everyone proceeded to eat, drink and be merry afterward. She was knocked up and we were 16 years old, not old enough to drink, but her grandfather and dad kept my glass full of champagne. After that I went back to her apartment while she was on her honeymoon and got tore down with her hippy mom (cause shes an addict who never grew up). I had not seen her since she completely blind sided us and showed up at our high school one day to see her 14 year old daughter for the first time time 12 years. Interesting day... But a lovely wedding.

My other favorite had to be my 2 atheist friends getting married in a tiny church in October and then having a Halloween themed reception. The wedding cake had a spider web overlay. It was just funny.

I don't think it's quite the big deal that people make it out to be, as far as your guests are concerned. I would rather see something quirky, simple and intimate than huge and elaborate. I've had cousins do 7 songs during the ceremony, been to country club weddings, been in huge church weddings and been bored out of my mind during all.

Munchy

spiderlashes5000 wrote: »

This is one reason I'm reluctant to do it again also; he wants a big, formal wedding and I DONT. I have no ideas and no interest in trying to come up w/ any. I also do not want to drop $30-40Gs for a one-day event.

Is it possible to for it to be cheap and easy and tasteful?

I'm not trying to derail this but I honestly don't understand why this (planning these complicated, overpriced receptions) is fun for anyone, even the first time. Can someone explain? Maybe if I can get into that mindset I might be more receptive to him... (I'm trying!)

Ours was definitely cheap and tasteful - the easy part, not so much.

CurlyCanadian

Fifi.G wrote: »

I don't think it's quite the big deal that people make it out to be, as far as your guests are concerned. I would rather see something quirky, simple and intimate than huge and elaborate.

This sums up my feelings well!

Piglet

Thanks for the responses! I see now what you mean when you say 'ballroom wedding'.That's the sort of thing I've tried not to have. Don't get me wrong, each to their own and everyone has different tastes, but I've had it in my head for years that I want to be a little bit different. Where I am, it's very popular to have a wedding in a big stately home. I didn't want that as they are so cookie cutter and the weddings of this nature that I've been to just haven't been that good (in my opinion).

My main aim is just to ensure that my guests have a good time. If they come away thinking 'that was a great wedding', I'll be happy. I'm trying as hard as possible to ensure that there's minimal waiting around and that they have plenty of tasty food. The worst weddings I've been to were ones where there was a huge amount of waiting around between ceremony and reception or reception and evening. People say that it's 'my day', but my thinking is that people have travelled a long way, got themselves all done up, maybe taken time off, and I don't want to let anyone down,