Please please help I hate crying over my hair anymore

KatiestringpKatiestringp Posts: 10Registered Users
Hi everyone,

So basically I'm in a slump at the moment because everything that I seem to do for my hair doesn't work and it ends up looking very bad. On the bottom layer I have 3c curls and on the top, 3b and high porosity (although it doesn't curl much anymore and it looks a bit more like 3a)

I cann't afford to get a stylist to cut it, I've been doing it myself which has worked up until recently.

The back never curls, I've tried SOOOOOO many products both natural and not and NOTHING works. I've tried heat and no heat, plopping, twisting it doesn't matter.

I'm so close to shaving off all my hair and every time I look at myself in the mirror I want to cry. I look at all the beautiful curly hair out there and wonder what the hell I'm doing wrong. I'm doomed forever to wear my hair in a bun!

Here are some pictures of my dilemma:

Comments

  • Corrina777Corrina777 Posts: 3,204Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Have you determined your hair properties (texture, porosity, etc)? Besides the information here, livecurlylivefree.com also has great information for determining properties. That said, it sounds like you're really frustrated and it might be worth it to get a formal hair analysis. Goosefoot prints on Etsy does a very thorough analysis, which includes properties and what ingredients you should look for or avoid based on those properties. That will help you start sorting through products.

    It's very common to have multiple curl patterns on one head. My hair ranges from 2b to 3b, depending on things like weather, products, etc (I typically see all of these patterns at the same time, what changes is which is more predominant). We also tend to be our own worst critic- I can't tell you the number of times I thought my hair looked awful only to have someone compliment me.
    ETA: looking at pics again, it looks like you just need to get some better definition and clumping. I'm personally a big fan of Scott Musgrave's MAP technique to apply products, but the super soaker method is also very good for encouraging clumps. Make sure your hair has enough moisture, and use some gel to define and hold hair (no touching while drying).
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    3a/f/iii
    Modified CG since 11/5/11
    CLEANSE: CJ Daily Fix, DevaCare No-Poo, CHS Treatment Shampoo
    RO: SS Caitlin's Conditioner, CJ Beauticurls Strengthening
    LI: SS Repairing Protein Treatment, CHS Silk Leave-In
    STYLE: Re:Coil, Curl Keeper, Deva Ultra Defining Gel, Curls Rock Amplifier,Sweet Curls Elixirs Okra Gel and Hard Hold Gel, SS Curl Enhancing Jelly and Firm Hold Gel
  • KatiestringpKatiestringp Posts: 10Registered Users
    Corrina777 wrote: »
    Have you determined your hair properties (texture, porosity, etc)? Besides the information here, livecurlylivefree.com also has great information for determining properties. That said, it sounds like you're really frustrated and it might be worth it to get a formal hair analysis. Goosefoot prints on Etsy does a very thorough analysis, which includes properties and what ingredients you should look for or avoid based on those properties. That will help you start sorting through products.

    It's very common to have multiple curl patterns on one head. My hair ranges from 2b to 3b, depending on things like weather, products, etc (I typically see all of these patterns at the same time, what changes is which is more predominant). We also tend to be our own worst critic- I can't tell you the number of times I thought my hair looked awful only to have someone compliment me.
    ETA: looking at pics again, it looks like you just need to get some better definition and clumping. I'm personally a big fan of Scott Musgrave's MAP technique to apply products, but the super soaker method is also very good for encouraging clumps. Make sure your hair has enough moisture, and use some gel to define and hold hair (no touching while drying).

    Thank you. I've just used gel and that is what happened, I'm thinking I possibly lack protein since I just did a strand test and it was too flimsy. Usually what tends to work best, but has stopped working (god knows why) is twisting the product into each curl when it's wet, usually using a butter type product. Then heat must be applied because otherwise it won't dry for like, 3 days.
    I have high porosity so anything buttery is usually okay... Which today I didn't use, I just used the gel and now it's a sticky, stringy mess. Not impressed.
    :( I'll have a look into that technique, thank you so much :)
  • Corrina777Corrina777 Posts: 3,204Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Depending on the products you're using, you might want to try clarifying and see if that helps. Sometimes if certain products/routines stop working it's from buildup. Change in weather is also a possible culprit- many curlies have different products/routines for summer and winter.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    3a/f/iii
    Modified CG since 11/5/11
    CLEANSE: CJ Daily Fix, DevaCare No-Poo, CHS Treatment Shampoo
    RO: SS Caitlin's Conditioner, CJ Beauticurls Strengthening
    LI: SS Repairing Protein Treatment, CHS Silk Leave-In
    STYLE: Re:Coil, Curl Keeper, Deva Ultra Defining Gel, Curls Rock Amplifier,Sweet Curls Elixirs Okra Gel and Hard Hold Gel, SS Curl Enhancing Jelly and Firm Hold Gel
  • BeautyOGBeautyOG Posts: 383Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I have the same problem but here is a mask that helps me:

    1/2 cup of coconut milk
    1 to 2 spoons of honey

    Put this on your hair and leave it in for no more than 40 mins.

    Hope this helps!

    Sent from my QMV7B using CurlTalk App
    My Hair:
    3b - Low Porosity - High Density - Medium/Course Strands - Virgin Hair - Armpit Length, Curly


    Current Products:
    DIY Shampoo
    Tresemme Aloe Conditioner
    It's a 10 Leave In
    Sweet Almond Oil
    Tresemme Mousse

    Current Length Goal: Waist Length, Curly

  • claudine191claudine191 Posts: 8,221Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I honestly think your hair looks A LOT better than you think. Not to dismiss your frustration, but to say that to a stranger, you've got great curls.
  • Marci PieMarci Pie Posts: 668Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I agree with the above posters. Finding your hair properties is the most important thing you can do. I made the mistake early on in my CG journey and didn't do it. Needless to say, it took me about 9 months to find what products worked and didn't work for my hair. 1 year into the journey I did a Curl Wizard analysis and it suggested the products that I found to have worked. I would have saved 9 months of frustration. So if you can do the analysis because it is worth every penny.


    Once you learn ingredients and your holy grail it is easy.


    Hang in there!

    3b, Medium-Coarse (slight coarse charactericstics), Normal porosity & Low elasticity per Curl Wizard Profile.
    Low-poo: Nourish Shampoo, Cantu Quinoa Shampoo for Color-Treated Hair, Decadence No Poo
    Co-wash: Nourish Conditioner, Suave, Aussie Moist, Clairol Natural Blends Coconut
    Deep Conditioner: Loreal Total Repair Balm, Cantu Masque
    Leave-in: Nourish Conditioner (Trader Joe's), Decadence Conditioner
    Stylers: LA Looks Sports, Homemade Flax Seed Gel, Devacurl Ultradefining Gel, Coconut Oil
    Methods: Sleep with extra large satin bonnet. Able to get 7 day hair. Prior to getting 7 day:Wet plop or pineapple at night, diffuse in the morning. Scrunch w/joboba, coconut or almond oil.
  • Curls80Curls80 Posts: 526Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Corrina777 wrote: »
    Have you determined your hair properties (texture, porosity, etc)? Besides the information here, livecurlylivefree.com also has great information for determining properties. That said, it sounds like you're really frustrated and it might be worth it to get a formal hair analysis. Goosefoot prints on Etsy does a very thorough analysis, which includes properties and what ingredients you should look for or avoid based on those properties. That will help you start sorting through products.

    It's very common to have multiple curl patterns on one head. My hair ranges from 2b to 3b, depending on things like weather, products, etc (I typically see all of these patterns at the same time, what changes is which is more predominant). We also tend to be our own worst critic- I can't tell you the number of times I thought my hair looked awful only to have someone compliment me.
    ETA: looking at pics again, it looks like you just need to get some better definition and clumping. I'm personally a big fan of Scott Musgrave's MAP technique to apply products, but the super soaker method is also very good for encouraging clumps. Make sure your hair has enough moisture, and use some gel to define and hold hair (no touching while drying).

    I totally agree with all of this. Great advice! ☺️

    My hair changes a lot depending on all of those things. And yes- compliments on a "bad hair day"- that's happened more than once to me! I don't know the MAP technique but I'm intrigued..... I also agree with the super soaker method- and I had no idea before I started trying different techniques that technique does in fact change the outcome of your curls lol!! I was skeptical but seriously the super soaker method really did make my hair clumpier.
    3a/3b high porosity, mainly coarse, medium density
    Live in Canada- hot summers, freezing winters- dry dry dry
    As I am cleansing pudding, soultanicals deep condish, curlsmith cowash, lhdc condish 
    KCCC, curlsmith soufflé, ufdcm, mga sculpting gel 
    Scrunch with hair repear towel, then diffuse or air
    Protein- Cnpf
  • KatiestringpKatiestringp Posts: 10Registered Users
    Thank you all. It feels quite mushy. I did a strand test and basically it stretched out and snapped. I think this means I need more protein: that and it's winter here :( I will get an analysis when I get some money together for sure.
  • HerbHerb Posts: 52Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    ur gorg!
  • bookgrdngirlbookgrdngirl Posts: 403Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think your hair is gorgeous, OP! :toothy7:

    What products are you using on your hair? I can say that since going CG that my hair has made a 360 already. I think it's so easy to compare our curls to others... but everyone's hair is different based on thickness, density, etc. I think with some tender, love and care that your hair could definitely make an improvement like mine did. I think some thing that has been helping me is getting ideas, advice and recommendations from other curly-haired ladies.

    What type of products are you using? Are you styling it or just washing and going? I found out that my hair loves gel and conditioner which I had never knew before. I've had so many days where I thought that my hair was hideous or looked straight... then I got complimented on it. I think at the end of the day (like somebody else said above) that we are our own worst critics of ourselves sometimes.
    Corkicelli multi-patterned 3B with 3A & 3C sections. High density, low porosity, norm-high elasticity & coarse. 3yrs without straightening. CG since 6/25/15. Methylisothiazolinone allergy. Protein sensitive. Cruelty free. :albino: BLOG :flower:
    • Giovanni: Avocado and Olive Oil (RO), Tea Tree Sham & Con (CW/RO)
    • KC: KT, CC, CC
    • CR: CM, GR, AWB, Balm
    • CJ: DF, CIAB, SL, CR
    • CURLS: Souffle
    • AV Juice
    • EVOO
  • salty13salty13 Posts: 16Registered Users
    I agree that we are our own worst critics and I think your hair looks nice!!!

    But I totally understand not having the results you want. I would to a clarifying wash for sure. Have you tried diffusing?

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