Rude comments

MissQuirkyMissQuirky Posts: 44Registered Users
So I am not sure exactly where to post this, but I feel a lot more comfortable posting it here than in general discussion so here it goes. I work in customer service and every day get comments on my hair that either make me want to cry or are so offensive I don't even know what to do with it. I can't even post the amount of awful things I hear because they are so bad (although feel free to PM me). Does anyone else deal with rude people and if so, how? Last week I literally stared at a customer horrified until he left.

I just don't know how to react 😩

Comments

  • SundialSundial Posts: 72Registered Users
    That's really horrible! It's astonishing to hear that people can be so rude.
  • BotticelliBritBotticelliBrit Posts: 2,075Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'm sorry you have to deal with such pr*cks. I can't imagine ever being rude and disgusting enough to make negative comments about a stranger's appearance to their face. You should speak to your boss about this, as you have the right to work in an environment that is friendly and does not negatively affect your emotional/mental state. You have the right to work without having to suffer verbal abuse, whether it's at the hands of customers or colleagues.

    Next time this happens, you should simply refuse to serve the customer and either fetch your manager or a colleague, who can either serve them or turn them away. Or tell them that their behaviour is not acceptable and won't be tolerated, and if they continue to be demeaning, they will be asked to leave.

    Customer service does not mean having to stand there and take horrible and abusive comments like they're nothing.
    3B. Med porosity. Med thickness. Med density.

    LP: Shea Moisture (currently JBCO)
    Conditioner/CW: Jason Aloe Vera

    LI: Aunt Jackie's Curls & Coils Quench
    Refreshing: TRESemmé Naturals Aloe Vera & Avocado
    Gel: DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel
    DC:
    Aunt Jackie's Soft & Sassy Super Duper Softening Conditioner
    Treatments: Coconut oil/Coconut milk

    UK curly. CG since Oct 2013.
    Growing my hair to WL when dry :thumright:
  • claudine191claudine191 Posts: 8,221Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Sometimes people really super duper suck, and I'm sorry this is happening to you.
  • MissQuirkyMissQuirky Posts: 44Registered Users
    Yeah it's been awful. I've resorted to wearing my hair back constantly and my manager has kicked two people out of the store for being inappropriate to me as well as for sexually harassing another coworker. He managed to include classism, sexism, and racism in one day -.- what a winner.
  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Posts: 590Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ^^ are you currently seeking another job? That place sounds like a ****fest.

    I'm sorry this is happening to you. Customer service jobs suck, you have to sit there and just take ****...well, not have to. If people got rude with me, I'd give it right back (or refuse to help them) and I never got fired in the 7+ years I worked CS. LOL. Luckily, it sounds like you have a supervisor who has your back, which makes a big difference!
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • AngelaE8654AngelaE8654 Posts: 1,099Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    MissQuirky wrote: »
    So I am not sure exactly where to post this, but I feel a lot more comfortable posting it here than in general discussion so here it goes. I work in customer service and every day get comments on my hair that either make me want to cry or are so offensive I don't even know what to do with it. I can't even post the amount of awful things I hear because they are so bad (although feel free to PM me). Does anyone else deal with rude people and if so, how? Last week I literally stared at a customer horrified until he left.

    I just don't know how to react 😩

    Looking at your picture, I think your hair is beautiful; what's wrong with those people?? I wonder if you can say something like "that really hurts my feelings. Why would you say that?" Or just ask them why they would say something like that? Put the ball back in their court. I can't believe some people. :hmph:
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I'm definitely a "curly" 2c. Sometimes curly and sometimes just wavy upper layer with a ringlety under layer. My hair has been thick and coarse since birth. Strawberry blonde in color that can and does change depending on the type and amount of light.


    All in all, I'm happy with my hair type but almost for sure think yours is prettier. :)
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,280Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Your hair is beautiful. What rotten sobs. I can't imagine what they could be saying. What type of place do you work all this customer abuse is rampant??? I guess I'd stick with the above advice but it seems maybe there is some kind of environmental factor here.
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • mydietpointmydietpoint Posts: 1Registered Users
    You should quick that job if you don't want to that people.
  • BotticelliBritBotticelliBrit Posts: 2,075Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    She shouldn't have to quit her job and be made to possibly suffer financially because her customers are arseholes
    3B. Med porosity. Med thickness. Med density.

    LP: Shea Moisture (currently JBCO)
    Conditioner/CW: Jason Aloe Vera

    LI: Aunt Jackie's Curls & Coils Quench
    Refreshing: TRESemmé Naturals Aloe Vera & Avocado
    Gel: DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel
    DC:
    Aunt Jackie's Soft & Sassy Super Duper Softening Conditioner
    Treatments: Coconut oil/Coconut milk

    UK curly. CG since Oct 2013.
    Growing my hair to WL when dry :thumright:
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,280Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ^^^^agreed. But I can't figure out how this is so prevalent. I just can't imagine people saying things like that I guess and with such pretty curls it's such a shame. :(
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • MiraaklesMiraakles Posts: 24Registered Users
    When I was younger, I'd get compliments from older people saying my hair was pretty while kids my age would say it was tangled or that I was wearing a weave. They'd call it ugly.. It might sound crazy but after a while I learned to beat them to it. I'd say everything they were going to say before they said, and with a smile, and after a while it just... they stopped. You love your hair, and that's all that matters. Your hair in no way effects their lives.

    Insecurities are loud. Confidence is silent. :) Don't let them get you down!
  • BotticelliBritBotticelliBrit Posts: 2,075Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Miraakles wrote: »
    When I was younger, I'd get compliments from older people saying my hair was pretty while kids my age would say it was tangled or that I was wearing a weave. They'd call it ugly.. It might sound crazy but after a while I learned to beat them to it. I'd say everything they were going to say before they said, and with a smile, and after a while it just... they stopped.

    I'm glad that worked for you, but I totally disagree on principle. Why should she be forced to make disparaging remarks about herself and effectively put down her own appearance just so she beats other people to it? What she should do, is be able to go to work and not be bothered by abuse.

    There's no need for her to have to poke holes in herself just because someone else may do it (also: there's no knowing how these people would react. They may just stop, or they may latch onto her remarks and start bullying her further by saying things like 'see even YOU think you're ugly etc. It's a slippery slope).

    I also think that the idea of making nasty remarks about herself could have really negative consequences on self-esteem and really negatively affect how she sees herself. If she's been constantly forced to call herself names, that may become ingrained and eventually could end up being the way she sees herself and could become an instinct/reflect for her to think bad and say bad of herself before someone gets a chance.

    Nobody should ever be forced to take on the mentality and actions of their bullies, adopting their behaviour and putting themselves down. It could just as easily have the same effect, if not a worst effect, than if someone else says it.
    3B. Med porosity. Med thickness. Med density.

    LP: Shea Moisture (currently JBCO)
    Conditioner/CW: Jason Aloe Vera

    LI: Aunt Jackie's Curls & Coils Quench
    Refreshing: TRESemmé Naturals Aloe Vera & Avocado
    Gel: DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel
    DC:
    Aunt Jackie's Soft & Sassy Super Duper Softening Conditioner
    Treatments: Coconut oil/Coconut milk

    UK curly. CG since Oct 2013.
    Growing my hair to WL when dry :thumright:
  • anonymous_150263anonymous_150263 Posts: 773Registered Users
    I work with every type of person including some of society's lowest of scumbags and have been called every name you can imagine but actually nobody has ever insulted my hair. I work in an emergency department and ICU so of course see people at their worst but I have to wonder what you do where people would be constantly harrasing you or commenting on your looks? Do you work as like a bartender or something?
  • anonymous_150263anonymous_150263 Posts: 773Registered Users
    Oh yeah when I was a kid and preteen that's a whole new story but that's part of growing up... learning how to deal with people picking on you as a kid teaches you how to deal with conflict later in life.


    I got called "poofy" and "fritzy" and I would respond that "your just jealous because your hair is boring"... but one year in like sixth grade I adopted poofy as a nickname and actually became quite popular and had a lot of friends. Sometimes i would brush and fluff my ponytail up as much as possible and my best friene that year was "fritzy" because she was a curly also.
  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Posts: 590Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    chupie wrote: »
    What type of place do you work all this customer abuse is rampant??? ...it seems maybe there is some kind of environmental factor here.


    That's what I'm wondering too. A vast majority of us have worked in CS at some point in our lives & not had people insult our hair despite experiencing all kinds of other rude behavior. The reason I asked if she was seeking other employment was because she said another co-worker was being sexually harassed, so this sounds like an uncomfortable, potentially unsafe place for any woman to work. Is this job in a particularly lower-class or rough area?
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • MissQuirkyMissQuirky Posts: 44Registered Users
    I work at an office supply store in a suburb of San Francisco so it's not that bad. It's outside of the richer areas so we are pretty middle-class. I have worked there for two years and it's only been from February on that this has been happening--completely out of the blue.

    Myself and my supervisor went to my store manager (as she has seen it, and it helps that she is a friend of mine) and he was upset about what was happening. Some of the lower-level management have addressed customers about it a few times, and over the last month have kicked multiple people out and told them they are not welcome. My store has always been great to me, and I love my co-workers so it's put me in a bad situation. It's improved a little, and I work significantly less now since my Pharmaceutical program has started which has alleviated some of it.

    Thank you to everyone though, I am glad that I talked to my managers about it. ^^;
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,280Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    That is so. Weird!!!! It's just in fathomable to me in any setting but least of all am office supply store. How bizarre!
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • AngelaE8654AngelaE8654 Posts: 1,099Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    chupie wrote: »
    That is so. Weird!!!! It's just in fathomable to me in any setting but least of all am office supply store. How bizarre!
    Seriously. Perhaps they're jealous of her hair (which I personally think is beautiful). If I saw the OP I might ask her if I could have her hair. But I wouldn't make a rude remark about it. That's just unacceptable.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I'm definitely a "curly" 2c. Sometimes curly and sometimes just wavy upper layer with a ringlety under layer. My hair has been thick and coarse since birth. Strawberry blonde in color that can and does change depending on the type and amount of light.


    All in all, I'm happy with my hair type but almost for sure think yours is prettier. :)
  • anonymous_150263anonymous_150263 Posts: 773Registered Users
    Certainly doesn't make any sense to me. Happening once or twice I could see, but every day? Just doesn't make sense.
  • MissQuirkyMissQuirky Posts: 44Registered Users
    Here's hoping Monday will be the start of a better week at least. And thank you for the wonderful comments, it had lifted my spirits quite a bit :)
  • melindarwoodardmelindarwoodard Posts: 9Registered Users
    I think you're hair is pretty!! I can't believe someone would say such horrible things to you. I am glad that things are improving, and that your employer, supervisor, coworkers are on your side.

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