Devastating Haircut

hugmeimrachelhugmeimrachel Registered Users Posts: 19
Hi Everyone,
I have been reading NC for so many years now but I posted last night for the first time after a *famous* stylist gave me a haircut I hate and was EXTREMELY rude to me. Initially I posted to counterbalance the good reviews about him on NC but I did not anticipate how warm and compassionate the people here would be! So now I'm posting to ask advice about how those of you who got bad haircuts dealt with the emotional side of things.

I feel crazy for being as upset as I am, but going curly was a long and emotional process for me. After a stylist cut off all of my damage in 2012, I swore off straightening my hair and decided to get educated about growing healthy, beautiful curls. Over the next three years, my self-image improved even more than my hair did. After years of being insecure and various struggles with eating disorders, I learned to love myself and what makes me unique. I started to focus on the things I love about myself, like my hair, instead of obsessing about things I can't change, such as my body type. I was proud of my hair as an accomplishment that was as much mental as it was physical. A major milestone happened in December 2014 (three years later) when my mom, who for cultural reasons believed that straight hair is more 'formal' than curly hair, told me at my cousin's engagement party that she was glad I didn't listen to her because my hair looked "stunning curly and I should never straighten it" A month later, in January 2015, I needed a trim and I was unable to see my usual stylist, as he is in Washington DC and I recently moved to London, so I decided to try someone based on my sister's recommendation. She dry cut my hair and took off most of the length I had worked SO hard to grow. I was devastated and I cried for days. The cut had no shape at all, and was drastically uneven, so I decided to visit someone in NYC (I am home to study for my exams) to fix it so it would grow out nicely while I studied. I brought him pictures and was very specific about what I asked. Instead he left a "tail" of long hair in the under layer and took the rest of my hair up to my chin. know that it's just hair. But it is so much more to me than that. It's about hard work and dedication and personal growth as well.

So anyway, I am 25 and in graduate school and I have my final exams which are worth 100% of my grade between June 2-11, so I should really be concentrating on studying right now rather than grieving over my hair. I feel so silly and irresponsible, but this huge knot in my stomach is making it impossible for me to concentrate. Everyone around me is telling me that it's silly to be crying over my hair when I have exams to study for, but I just find it so hard to forget about my hair when every time I look at myself in a mirror (even with my hair up) I am forced to think of my hair. Anyway, if any of you have had similar experiences, it would really help to know how you managed to move on from it, because at this point not only will my hard work to grow my hair be a waste, but all of my work towards my degree will be as well. Thanks for listening, sorry its so long.


  • curlypearlcurlypearl Registered Users Posts: 12,231 Curl Connoisseur
    Hi Rachel, here's a hug (((Rachel))).

    I wish I could figure out what to say to make you feel better.

    It's OK and completely understandable to grieve and feel lousy when your haircut is awful, but you need to get some perspective so that you don't louse up the rest of your life.

    Maybe take a break both from the hair and from the studying. Go to a movie, or have some drinks and dinner with a friend and don't talk about either the hair or the studies. Don't blame yourself for anything, including not studying.

    Take care - you can always vent here again. I hope you start feeling better very soon.
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • corinniePopcorinniePop Registered Users Posts: 138 Curl Neophyte
    There's no reason to feel bad for feeling bad! I feel like curly women view our hair as part of our identity, since caring for it is such a huge part of our lives. I feel the same way after every part of me has been attacked and wounded. I'm really sorry that this happened to you, and I hope you find a good stylist to fix it!
  • hugmeimrachelhugmeimrachel Registered Users Posts: 19
    thank you so much lovelies, it helps to know that people understand and don't think its silly to cry over hair :-(
  • anonymous_150263anonymous_150263 Registered Users Posts: 773
    This just happened to me. I wanted to go short though and had a really good cut from a walk in at a good salon. Then as it started to grow it started to pyramid so i thought I'd do a walk in somewhere and just have a few more layers added. Well they hacked it and I cried. I had a third person try to even it up for me and it helped a little but now I just have to let it grow and I have not had a good hair day since... the kicker is i can barely get it into a pony tail
  • BotticelliBritBotticelliBrit Registered Users Posts: 2,075 Curl Neophyte
    Not at all silly, and I'm so sorry they did that to your hair. If I was you, I'd kind of 'cut my losses' (excuse the pun) and just get that sort of ponytail part snipped off. It'll look better in the long-run and will grow evenly and cause less problems when trying to style.

    I know it's awful to lose length like that, but it WILL grow back. And your hair still looks absolutely beautiful. Focus on your exams and just know that you can still rock shorter hair, and by this time next year, your hair will probably be back to (or at least near) the length it was.
    3B. Med porosity. Med thickness. Med density.

    LP: Shea Moisture (currently JBCO)
    Conditioner/CW: Jason Aloe Vera

    LI: Aunt Jackie's Curls & Coils Quench
    Refreshing: TRESemmé Naturals Aloe Vera & Avocado
    Gel: DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel
    Aunt Jackie's Soft & Sassy Super Duper Softening Conditioner
    Treatments: Coconut oil/Coconut milk

    UK curly. CG since Oct 2013.
    Growing my hair to WL when dry :thumright:
  • hugmeimrachelhugmeimrachel Registered Users Posts: 19
    Im so sorry that happened to you ashleynicol. It's the worst feeling ever. I hope it grows fast for you, it's so frustrating that you feel like there is NOTHING you can do. at least its an excuse to drink a bunch of water and eat healthy, which is always a good thing.
  • anonymous_150263anonymous_150263 Registered Users Posts: 773
    "It will grow back"
  • hugmeimrachelhugmeimrachel Registered Users Posts: 19
    sending you positive hair growing energy!
  • sixelamysixelamy Registered Users Posts: 4,157 Curl Novice
    Oh gosh, can I ever relate to a terrifyingly horrible haircut! I will say this though - he might have been going for a certain shape with your hair, and your curls did something different than he expected. I'm not backing up the stylist - rude stylists are awful and should not have a job. Some cuts just do not work with some curls.

    If you don't want to cut off the odd part, because you "aren't ready to have hair that short", then you will be stuck with a bad cut. It's better to get your hair looking good and your self esteem up, than it is to lose hair that will eventually grow back. Been there, done that, cried a lot. Grew my hair out, couldn't stand it, and cut it again lol

    Sorry this happened. :(
    2c-3a - med-coarse - normal-high porosity - high density
    NP/LP: CJ Daily Fix, KMF Whenever / Giovanni TTTT
    RO/LI: Aussie Moist, CJ Argan & Olive Oil, Hask Keratin Protein
    DC/PROTEIN: KC Stellar Strands / CNPF
    STYLER: CJ Curl Queen
    COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
    :thumbdown:: glycerin in high/low dews, polyquat-10 & 11, parabens

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