Beginning my natural hair journey! (Advice needed)

LeleyLeley Posts: 41Registered Users
Hi everyone,
I'll give you a little bit of a back story when I was younger I had beautiful curly hair it would go into ringlets and everything. Then someone said I should straighten my hair so I did, not knowing the horrible effect it would have on my hair. My hair is now severely heat damaged the ends are bone straight. Then some times it goes wavey other parts will kinda curl its a complete mess. I'm so upset about it. I can't cut off the damaged ends at the moment as I'm getting married in 7weeks so I need the length after I come back from honeymoon I've booked to get my hair cut I think I need at least 6 to 8inch cut off so it's gonna be pretty short. ATM I'm deep conditioning wearing protective hairstyles. I was going to try twist outs? Been spraying my hair with water to keep it moisturised. I have leave in conditioner.

Can you suggest anything else? I can't stand my bone straight ends I wanted to cry yesterday day after doing a deep condition my hair was just bla fizzy and straight! Help

Love and light L

Comments

  • SereneCurlsSereneCurls Posts: 1,145Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    First, congratulations, I'm getting married around the same time. How long is your hair now? If you get a curl cream or something with a bit of hold, you could braid your damp hair to get a more uniform or consistent wave once it's dry. You could also figure out your hair properties so you can start researching styling products that might work after you cut. (Properties like your hair's porosity, density, and the thickness of individual strands.) If you search the forum for transitioning products, you might come across stylers people have used while they still have ends that are damaged or a different curl pattern from their roots.
    3a, dense, fairly coarse, normal porosity and elasticity, just below shoulder
    Low poo: Giovanni 50 50
    Co-wash: aia, suave coconut, salon care
    R O: Tresume Naturals, gvpcb
    L I: KCKT, gvpcb
    Stylers: cjpp, re : coil, kccc, brhg
    Oils: coconut, argan
    Experimenting with: curls rock amplifier, pantene mousse
  • LeleyLeley Posts: 41Registered Users
    First, congratulations, I'm getting married around the same time. How long is your hair now? If you get a curl cream or something with a bit of hold, you could braid your damp hair to get a more uniform or consistent wave once it's dry. You could also figure out your hair properties so you can start researching styling products that might work after you cut. (Properties like your hair's porosity, density, and the thickness of individual strands.) If you search the forum for transitioning products, you might come across stylers people have used while they still have ends that are damaged or a different curl pattern from their roots.

    Congrats to you too :) I'm hair is just above my breasts. I think I'm going to have to cut to coller bone level when I get back from honeymoon. I was going to try a twist out on Friday and wear my hair out Friday night I was going to try and put some Moose through it and see how I get on and try and encourage the curl pattern back. My hair is currently in a huge bun as I can't stand the stick straight ends! I have pretty thick hair will need to do somemore research on on my hair type.
    L x
  • ReservechicReservechic Posts: 798Registered Users
    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I couldn't be more happy for you.:love7:

    Is your hair currently 100% chemical free or not at this time? Also, how long ago was it, when you last had your hair flat ironed? Your hair will definitely need time to revert back to its totally naturally textured state. I used to wear my hair relaxed and flat ironed, and when I decided to transition towards going natural, I was mainly dealing with hair that was mostly straight. However, the longer that I went without relaxing my hair, or straightening it (during my transitioning period), the more natural new growth I achieved, plus the more my chemically processed and heat styled hair began to revert and to slowly begin to take upon more texture to it. I actually transitioned for a year, before I became completely natural. Throughout that year, I slowly cut off my relaxed, heat styled ends, until all of it had been successfully cut off. When I first started tried to do wash n gos with my hair, kept me tell you, i had more fails than I had successes. This was mainly due to my constant switching up of products, and my not paying enough attention to what ingredients really agree best with my hair and which ones don't. I eventually learned through trial and error, what works best for my hair both regimen and product wise and what does not.

    When it comes to caring for my curls, less is better. Before I start off cleansing my hair, I always pre-poo my hair first. I use oil to do so, and I happen to apply oil to both my hair and scalp, cover my entire head with a plastic conditioning cap, and keep it on for anywhere from between 30-60 minutes. To ore-poo with, I use either JBCO (the Regular or Extra Dark Version), Coconut Oil ( I go back and forth between buying and using the refined and unrefined versions in my hair and they both perform exactly the same in my hair), Marula Oil, or Argan Oil. I do wash my hair once a week. I wash my hair mostly with cleansing conditioners. So, yes, I mainly co wash my hair, and happen to use shampoo on my hair once a month only (when I choose to do a clarifying wash of my hair). I do a protein treatment on my hair once a month only, because my hair is in a relatively healthy state. However, if my hair was in a damaged state, I would do a protein treatment on my hair on a weekly basis until my hair was back to a completely healthier state, and then I would simply go back to doing a protein treatment on my hair once a month as usual. At this point, normally, after I wash my hair, I always DC afterwards. I use either one of my regular rinse out conditioners or an actual deep conditioner to DC with. I DC my hair using either my Hot Head a Thermal Conditioning Cap or my Heutiful Steamer to do so. I use a heating source for maximum penetration of the conditioner into my hair strands. I do DC my hair for anywhere between 30-45 minutes. After I finish DCing my hair, and rinsing it out, I leave my hair soaking wet. I do my hair in sections. I take a section of hair, apply my leave in (depending on what styler I plan on using in my hair-as i don't always apply leave in to my hair), I then detangle my hair (my favorite detangling tool is my Denman brush), and then I apply my styler of choice to my hair. After I finish a section, I just move on to another section, repeat the same process over, until I have finished my entire head of hair. I will take a bit of time making sure that my curls are finger styled into place exactly how I want them to be, then I simply let my hair airdry. Some individuals choose to diffuse their hair dry, which is totally okay, based upon ones preference. When you diffuse, you definitely get more volume to your hair, and it does aid with really setting ones curl via heat. However, the only reason why, i don't prefer to use a diffuser is due to the shrinkage that I get from doing so. But, that's just my personal feelings, and it would be totally okay if you choose to use a diffuser to dry your curls with, I stead of waiting hours for your hair to airdry. My hair takes upwards of 6 hours to fully airdry, which is why, when i wash my hair, it is normally on the weekends, and I do it very early in the morning.

    I sleep on satin pillowcases and I wear a satin bonnet at night as well. For 2nd, 3rd day hair and beyond, I just re-apply a bit more styling product, finger style my hair into my desired look for it, and let my hair simply airdry thereafter. And, that's it.

    When it comes to the hair products that I own and but, they consist of both drugstore products and higher end brands. However, most if the products that I own are products that I am able to easily get off the ground. When I do choose to order from my favorite online vendors, I choose to fo do when there are sakes, so that way I can stock up. I also do this a lot, when it comes to products that I buy locally as well. By doing such, it really allows for you to get more bang for your buck. Which is always a huge plus.

    Right now, I am on a regular trimming schedule, which I recently decided to put myself on. As, before, I didn't really have a trimming schedule in place at all. I have cutting shears at home, personally made for cutting ones hair with. I bought several of them from my local Dollar Tree, and I now schedule my trims every 3 months. I actually write it down on my calendar as a reminder. If I happen to see that my hair needs a trim (for whatever reason), before my next scheduled trimming date, then I just go ahead and do such.

    When I don't do wash n gos, yes, I do sometimes keep my hair in a bun or ponytail for the week. As, sometimes, I do opt for quick and easy styles, such as these that are super low maintenance. However, there are a lot of other styling options out there, such as doing twists/twistouts, braids/braidouts, roller, rod, or strawsets, bantu knots/bantu knot outs, etc., so, the styling options are basically limitless.

    I certainly do wish you all the best both in life and with your hair as well. If you have any further questions or concerns about your hair, please don't ever hesitate to list such, okay.
    Diagnosed with Scalp Eczema 6/2015
    (Don't hair type/loose curl pattern/fine texture/low density/high porosity

    Current Regimen (Ayurvedic Based):
    Cleansers- Bobeam Shampoo Bars
    Stylers-Rotate between Camille Rose Naturals Almond Jai Twisting Butter and Camille Rose Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel

    I only wear my hair in wash n gos or buns. Also,
    I do not use conditioner on my hair on a weekly basis. And, my hair is A ok with that!
  • LeleyLeley Posts: 41Registered Users
    Thank you for the warm wishes, I guess my hair is not chemical free as the shampoo and conditioner I use has chemicals in them. My leave in conditioner is silicone free tho. Last time I straightened my hair was 4 weeks ago I guess that's nothing really. I'm attending a wedding in 2weeks and no idea how to wear my hair. Normally I'd straighten it. I was thinking a French roll pretty and elegant. Anyways I'm going off topic. I guess I'm getting dishearted alittle I feel my hair is awful dead and limp. I wish I never used those damn flat irons!
    L x
  • ReservechicReservechic Posts: 798Registered Users
    Leley wrote: »
    Thank you for the warm wishes, I guess my hair is not chemical free as the shampoo and conditioner I use has chemicals in them. My leave in conditioner is silicone free tho. Last time I straightened my hair was 4 weeks ago I guess that's nothing really. I'm attending a wedding in 2weeks and no idea how to wear my hair. Normally I'd straighten it. I was thinking a French roll pretty and elegant. Anyways I'm going off topic. I guess I'm getting dishearted alittle I feel my hair is awful dead and limp. I wish I never used those damn flat irons!
    L x

    When I asked if your hair was completely chemical free, I was actually enquiring whether your hair was currently in a relaxed, textured, permed, or color treated state? I see thst it has only been 4 weeks since your hair was last straightened, so that wasn't too long ago. Your hair will start to gain more texture to it, the longer that you stay away from having it straightened again. Flat irons actually don't have the ability to permanently change the genetic makeup of ones hair. The worst that a flat iron can do is to cause hair breakage, excessive split ends, or hair loss due to the high heat that is emitted from such. When it comes to exactly how long a person's hair will take to fully revert back to it's prior state after having being flat ironed, I can honestly tell, you that there is no established time table that exists for such. With some cases, all of ones hair will not revert back at the same rate. As, some areas of hair may take longer to fully revert back then others. However, that in no way equates to permanent heat damage, which quite a number of people have and do mistakingly think it does.

    And, when it comes to the products that you use, it is totally ok for you to use whatever you find happens you find works best for your hair. Some curlies practice the CG Method, some practice a modified version of the CG Method, and then there are some curlies that do not practice the CG Method at all. There is truly no one size fits all method that works best, when it comes to for caring for naturally textured hair. Also, I personally think that wearing your hair in a pretty French roll, for the wedding that you will be attending in 2 weeks would surely be awesome!
    Diagnosed with Scalp Eczema 6/2015
    (Don't hair type/loose curl pattern/fine texture/low density/high porosity

    Current Regimen (Ayurvedic Based):
    Cleansers- Bobeam Shampoo Bars
    Stylers-Rotate between Camille Rose Naturals Almond Jai Twisting Butter and Camille Rose Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel

    I only wear my hair in wash n gos or buns. Also,
    I do not use conditioner on my hair on a weekly basis. And, my hair is A ok with that!
  • LeleyLeley Posts: 41Registered Users
    To answer your Q no my hair is not relaxed I've never dyed or permed my hair. Its just the flat iron I've used on my hair. I'm pretty sure its he's damage I have from useing to high a heat. I do use heat protectent. So do you think with time and patience my hair will revert back? I good cut would still help tho right? I also find one sight of my hair appears more wavey/curly than the other side could one side be more damaged than the other if so how the heck do I fix that?
  • ReservechicReservechic Posts: 798Registered Users
    Leley wrote: »
    To answer your Q no my hair is not relaxed I've never dyed or permed my hair. Its just the flat iron I've used on my hair. I'm pretty sure its he's damage I have from useing to high a heat. I do use heat protectent. So do you think with time and patience my hair will revert back? I good cut would still help tho right? I also find one sight of my hair appears more wavey/curly than the other side could one side be more damaged than the other if so how the heck do I fix that?

    Flat irons don't have the ability to permanently change the genetic disposition of ones own natural hair. Our hair is genetically defined, while we are in our mothers wombs. Even though high heat from a flat iron is used towards making ones hair much straighter in appearance than without, there is no conclusive or documented evidence anywhere that provides factual information that flat irons are able to permanently change the genetic disposition of ones hair. There is no one on any hair board or hair stylist that can prove otherwise. Even though there are others that claim that it can, that it just a theory put out there that has caused so many women to get caught up in believing and then end up cut off loads of their hair, when all that was needed was much patience, and simply letting ones hair naturally revert back on its own. There us no exact timetable when it comes to hair reversion, whether it be from the use of chemicals used on it or heat straightening tools either. And, that is something that's often not even taken into consideration by many. Plus, there's always the possibility of not all areas of hair ending up reverting back at the same rate, which is something that can and often does happen after ones had their straightened. So, this is something that must surely be taken into consideration as well.

    The worst that flatirons can do is cause hair breakage, excessive split ends, excessive shedding, or hair loss. That is what is truly considered to be "heat damage". Now, a good haircut can definitely be beneficial to the the overall look and shape of ones head of hair overall. So, if you truly feel that you need such to be done at this time, then that would be totally fine.

    In regards to styling options, I did provide a number of styling options that you can choose to do on your hair, at this time. So, I would recommend opting to try such, and even if you don't get the perfect results the first time, when you try a new hairstyle, don't give up. As, practice always makes perfect.
    Diagnosed with Scalp Eczema 6/2015
    (Don't hair type/loose curl pattern/fine texture/low density/high porosity

    Current Regimen (Ayurvedic Based):
    Cleansers- Bobeam Shampoo Bars
    Stylers-Rotate between Camille Rose Naturals Almond Jai Twisting Butter and Camille Rose Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel

    I only wear my hair in wash n gos or buns. Also,
    I do not use conditioner on my hair on a weekly basis. And, my hair is A ok with that!
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,355Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    when was your last haircut/trim? i understand you need to leave it long for styling for your wedding (best wishes!). would you be comfortable getting maybe a TRIM of an inch or less, it just might perk it up -- but with someone you trust to do only a trim?
    in addition to all the other recommendations -- dts, good conditioning......

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • LeleyLeley Posts: 41Registered Users
    rbb wrote: »
    when was your last haircut/trim? i understand you need to leave it long for styling for your wedding (best wishes!). would you be comfortable getting maybe a TRIM of an inch or less, it just might perk it up -- but with someone you trust to do only a trim?
    in addition to all the other recommendations -- dts, good conditioning......

    I've not cut my hair for about a year. I've got an appointment to get my hair cut on the 2nd of July. I've been blow drying my hair its still as straight as ever. When I try to wear it naturally it just goes alittle wavy then seems to fall straight. I definitely need a good cut.

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