Comparing my two children, styling long hair

curlimamicurlimami Registered Users Posts: 56
Good afternoon ladies and gents!

Am a little annoyed with strangers recently. My two yng daughters and i all have curly hair. The youngewt and i have a more similar curl pattern, and the oldest has slightly less curly hair. It is getting really annoying and ridiculous EVERY WHERE we go the comments comparing the two. Its bad enough that people comment on our skin tones all the time (we live in Mexico, bicultural family) , and the curl comments hiave started again because my oldest's hair is getting really long- and atarting to look straight on top.

Yes, I am teaching them that we embraces the differences between us and others, yes we celebrate how we are all born differenty. But to a 5 yr old girl who already stands out because of skin tone, language differences (we are bilingual but it would take years for me to completely hide my American accent. The girls speak Spanish in public but the little one is still learning, people know) PLUS the hair thing.... She is so done trying to smile and not be hurt by the comments. (The good thing is that uber curly hair is embraced here, so the comments are usually "aw, why didnt you turn out as curly as your mama and sister?" )

The point is- adding layers to her long hair will help the top curl more evenly, right? Honestly we havent cut her hair yet, she loves the length and we do cute little styles but mostly casual stuff that really lets her curls shine. ;) I dont want to change her routine or make a big deal out of it and send the message that she has to do x, y, z to have curlier hair like mommy or sissy. But if a new cut would maybe cut back the comments we received from strangers , it would be worth it.

I dont want to send the message that she/her hair is less beautiful. It IS gorgeous, and so is she <3 and I know, the cultire here doesnt think its rude to make comments like that about appearances. W have been here 3.5 yrs so I am aware that others perhaps dont realize they are constantly comparing my girls' appearances. But she realized really early on the physical differences and sometimes it bothers her, esoecially about the hair.

Any tips or even just "been there, done that" stories would be appreciated. I want them both to grow up knowing how incredibly beautiful they are in their own ways they are.
All bets off on finding the perfect products for the curls - focusing on regrowing (50%) hair loss due to
A) Depo Provera (injectable birth control)
B) seborrheic dermatitis
C) stress/diet


  • CurlyShorty3405CurlyShorty3405 Registered Users Posts: 196
    If you want to keep your daughter's hair long but make it more curly at the top, long layers might help. It will allow the length to stay long, and her curls may even be more defined with long layers. I have long layers and find that my curls/waves are more defined.

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  • RJKY74RJKY74 Registered Users Posts: 24 Curl Neophyte
    Layers may help or hurt. It depends on her curl pattern. Mine gets curlier as it gets longer, and just unruly when it's shorter. I have bangs right now which I have to manually twist, clip and sometimes curling iron to get them to lay right.
  • Karina1987Karina1987 Registered Users Posts: 28 Curl Neophyte
    I am also a mom and I have a small daughter with the short haircut and the curls. I think that we should tell our children how beautiful they are for them to feel special. Recently my daughter and I have gone to the hairdresser's for the first time after the long time of choosing the haircut here but finally we managed to do this and we found pretty hairstyle which looked natural enough. Lovely popping curls with the natural way of styling. What can be better? I have told her that she looked like a princess and she looked so happy! Each child should feel the mom's love which is able to make him feel special on this Earth). Each child is an angel who looks pretty in his or her own way)
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  • SundialSundial Registered Users Posts: 72
    I think it is really sad that people are judging a 5 year old girl on her hair or appearance. Women already go through enough with being judged by our appearances!

    (I don't think it is a culturally specific thing because this sort of thing happens with girls all over the world in various ways)

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