You don't have the right to be sad/upset?

pinksugar

Do you ever feel like you don't have the right to be sad/upset? I am upset about something and discussing it with my husband. While we are talking a story came on the news about a 32 year old woman that suddenly died of a heart attack 2 weeks before Christmas. She left behind 5 kids (one is a 5 month old baby). The story went on to tell us about all these women that came together and donated over 3,000 ounces of breast milk. I just felt so bad for those kids to lose their mother and a husband to lose his wife.

Made my issue seem so insignificant.

chupie

Having your problem be put in perspective and still being able to feel upset are not mutually exclusive. You can understand that your problem may not be the worst thing ever but you still need to process it and that includes some upset.

Fifi.G

No. I answer 911's and help people get through the worst moments of their life all day and night! I would end up feeling like I could never be upset again if I went about it that way. *Something tragic happens to someone all day, every day, every where. I completely second Chupie. You can be well aware your problem is not the worst thing in the world, be very thankful for that and still be mad and upset.

Rimi

I agree with Chupie. I believe that situations that may seem more tragic than our own negative experiences teach us better ways of dealing with our emotions and shortfalls.

However, I also believe it is important to not write off a negative experience simply because "it could [have] be[en] worse". For some people, this thinking allows them step back and put things in perspective. However, for others this thinking gives way to them not dealing with or facing a problem that may be unsafe or unhealthy.

PerriP

I think all feelings are valid. They serve to let us know something is going on. I think it's also fine to step back and be aware that others have issues and be thankful that your situation isn't as bad. I think this is an equally important feeling of gratitude.

Dismissing our own feelings because it could have been worse is akin to getting into an accident, losing an eye and an arm and only focusing on "well at least I have both of my legs". Yes, that optimism is valid and important. But, you also have to adjust to the other changes, respect them, work with them, that's how we grow.

spiderlashes5000

I think you are def entitled to grieve and feel whatever way you want about the problems in your life. Sometimes problems regarded as small might hit a particular person especially hard...bc we're all different and we feel things differently.

***

I agree that taking time to remember all we have and be grateful for it can really help us stay more positive (I think studies have been done on that).

And if you notice that every little thing is making you sad or resentful, it could be a sign that you are depressed and/or dealing w/ too much stress in your life.

pinksugar

spiderlashes5000 wrote: »

I think you are def entitled to grieve and feel whatever way you want about the problems in your life. Sometimes problems regarded as small might hit a particular person especially hard...bc we're all different and we feel things differently.

***

I agree that taking time to remember all we have and be grateful for it can really help us stay more positive (I think studies have been done on that).

And if you notice that every little thing is making you sad or resentful, it could be a sign that you are depressed and/or dealing w/ too much stress in your life.

I completely agree.


It's actually only once a month. I've never really had PMS but that has changed in the last 6 months maybe a year. I have an appointment with my doctor on Monday. She wants to check my hormone levels.


I guess the news story just put things in perspective for me. I truly am blessed.

spiderlashes5000

pinksugar wrote: »

spiderlashes5000 wrote: »

I think you are def entitled to grieve and feel whatever way you want about the problems in your life. Sometimes problems regarded as small might hit a particular person especially hard...bc we're all different and we feel things differently.

***

I agree that taking time to remember all we have and be grateful for it can really help us stay more positive (I think studies have been done on that).

And if you notice that every little thing is making you sad or resentful, it could be a sign that you are depressed and/or dealing w/ too much stress in your life.

I completely agree.


It's actually only once a month. I've never really had PMS but that has changed in the last 6 months maybe a year. I have an appointment with my doctor on Monday. She wants to check my hormone levels.


I guess the news story just put things in perspective for me. I truly am blessed.

I hope she finds out what's going on!

In the meantime, maybe send a card or a few $$ to that family on tv. It will probably make you feel better.