Help?! A curly girl on the autism spectrum

in Hair Type 3
Hi. I'm brand new to this. I've been struggling with super curly hair for the last 25 years and have let my mother and sister push me into getting a brazilian blowout and relaxer and straightened, etc. It would take me 4 hours to straighten my hair before it was relaxed. But now I have decided I miss the curls and I want to go back. My mother and sister are not helpful in the slightest and I need a curly girl mentor. My scalp gets greasy really fast, (like enough that I have to shampoo every day, if not every other day), but my hair is splitting and I have no idea how much shedding is normal. I have super thick hair too, like thick enough that if I get the top layer wet, the bottom stays dry and if I braid it while its wet, I actually get mold. Several times I've been close to just shaving my head but I don't really want to do that. When I use product my hair ends up crunchy and I have to wash it the next day. If I don't use product, it ends up frizzy and unmanageable, so it usually stays in a bun or a braid 99% of the time. I'm new, like really new and have tried a lot of different stuff to keep my hair manageable. Because I'm on the autism spectrum, my parents and sister treat me like I can't take care of myself and don't explain themselves. I don't know any of the lingo. I need a curly girl mentor. Help?!!
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Comments
being on the spectrum has nothing to do with IQ, understanding things. you are certainly able to read about curly hair and decide for yourself how you want to care for your hair.
have you ever read the book, The Curly Girl, by Lorraine Massey (2nd edition, 2009)? it is filled with info for beginners and is a fun read. maybe even your mom would read it. you can get it on amazon, or download it, or the library. it is under $10.
also, do a lot of reading here. did you read all the info on the 'newbies' forum?
keep coming back with questions as you go along and we'll do our best to help you figure out what your hair likes.
3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
styling: curl junkie
sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
Coconut oil drench the night before I co-wash
then cowash and deep condition each time w/ Keracare Humecto, Joico Moisture Recovery and/or ApHogee 2min
then usually airdry
Grapeseed oil nightly
(no gel, mouse, or hair spray. My delicate, fine hair will tear if I even try to run my fingers through it with any of those. :angel9:)
My go to leave ins are now: my regular conditioners listed above, gs oil, or PW77
there is a forum on here called, 'transitioning,' and i am sure there are many people who are growing out a relaxer. you might find some good tips, lots of support on there.
remember, it will eventually all grow out, just be patient.
3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
styling: curl junkie
sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
Your pre-relaxer curls are lovely. With some tlc, your hair looks like it will recover nicely and quickly.
Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
Coconut oil drench the night before I co-wash
then cowash and deep condition each time w/ Keracare Humecto, Joico Moisture Recovery and/or ApHogee 2min
then usually airdry
Grapeseed oil nightly
(no gel, mouse, or hair spray. My delicate, fine hair will tear if I even try to run my fingers through it with any of those. :angel9:)
My go to leave ins are now: my regular conditioners listed above, gs oil, or PW77
i believe a deep conditioner is more dense, richer than a regular conditioner. my hair is extremely dry (think i was born with dry hair, LOL!) and now that kit is gray/white it loses moisture very quickly, so i use deep conditioners as my leave ins, where that would be too heavy for people with normal hair.
3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
styling: curl junkie
sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
THE NATURAL HAVEN: Curly vs Kinky : What is the difference?
Currently using:
Poo: Earthbath Oatmeal & Aloe
RO: V05 Kiwi Lime
LI: CJ Smoothing Lotion
Styler: UFD CM, CJ PP
PT: CJ Repair Me
:thumright: hydrolized protein, jelly stylers
:angry8: guar hydroxypropyltrimonium chloride, sulfates, jojoba oil
Neutral on cones.
iherb discount code: CFN646
My family never tried to straighten my hair, but they had no idea what to do with it either - it was always a frizzy, tangled mess, until I looked up this site in High School and started doing it myself. (I can't really straighten mine at all... I'm not coordinated enough, it takes me hours just like you said it took you.)
I have very soft, fine, 3a hair, with some 2c and 3b mixed in. Four years later, I am still trying to figure out what works for me, and I haven't tried most of the fancier products, but if you want to talk to me about anything, I'd be happy to try and help.
Just wanted to say hi, and it's great that you are trying to learn how to take care of your natural hair. Good luck!
Currently loving shampoo bars, and looking for a new conditioner and leave-in.
Just lovin' the smileys!!!
CG for three and a half years!
:blob7::blob6: :evil5::book:
i see in your signature you use shampoo bars -- i believe they can change the pH in hair so it's best not to use them too frequently.
what products are you using or have you tried that do not work for you?
3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
styling: curl junkie
sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
LowP: Kinky Curly Come Clean (50% EVOO)
NoP: As I Am CC
RO: Suave Coconut, VO5 Shea Cashmere
LI: KCKT or CJBCLI or HETT/HENOYF (w/ 8 drops GSO)
"To much is given, much is expected"