I pamper my hair but it still hates me

ManBunMondayManBunMonday Posts: 3Registered Users
Hi everyone, I'm a guy with long hair (chin length) and apparently I'm 3b. I have been growing out my hair since last August, and I've had ups and downs. If I had to classify my hair when it is relatively healthy, it is 1.5" (~3 cm) width curls, extremely thick/coarse/wiry strands as well as highly voluminous hair density. Basically a white boy 'fro. A brief hair history:
-sulfate shampoo (once a week or less) and silicone conditioner daily from August 2013-June 2014. Fairly healthy, manageable, attractive.
-No-poo baking soda/acv clarify once a week and only coconut oil as a leave in product June 2014-November. Healthy, but BS was drying. Picture attached with blue tank top.
-As of recent, I've been experimenting with cone-free conditioners, shampoo, and silicone conditioners. I still do ACV rinses every once in a while but when I use sulfate shampoo, my hair freaks out and I tell myself I'll never do it again. I have used Aussie 3-minute miracle twice in the past week. Every day, I work about a tablespoon of coconut oil into my hair. Picture attached, the horrifying one. Mind you, that horrifying picture is wet post-shower- imagine it when it dries!
Basically, I pamper my hair like no other. Yes, I've used sulfate shampoo three times in the past month, and I regret it. I've used cones probably 10 times, but to be fair I never had any visibly bad results when I used them from August to June. I maintain a healthy diet, drink lots of water, and take biotin.
I NEVER use heat, blow-dryers, or styling tools. I finger detangle almost every shower, rinse my hair in cold water, and sleep in a 'do-rag. Still, however, my hair is stringy, dry, broken, and damaged- especially on the crown just above my face. I don't wear buns too often, and try to protect my hair as best as I can when I sleep. Then why does my hair hate me so much? Is it a product thing? I treat my hair to coconut oil every day and to no avail; my hair looks dry, frizzy, and damaged a few hours later. My head has never been greasy, I just don't produce that much oil.
Any suggestions or at least people who relate? I want the longest, healthiest hair possible but I'm thinking of going short again. It may just be male body chemistry, I don't know. I may go back to no-poo, no products, no silicones as a new years resolution if this bull continues.
If you've read this much, I applaud you. I just want help because I hate the way my hair has been responding to everything as it's gotten longer. UGH I don't know if I'll ever attain my hair idol of Slash/Kenny G.


  • SereneCurlsSereneCurls Posts: 1,145Registered Users
    Hi, I'm sorry to hear you're having so much trouble. One thing that I notice from your post is that it seems as though you're throwing everything you can think of at your hair and getting frustrating results, unless you're just listing the things you've tried over a longer period of time. A good rule of thumb when you're trying new products or techniques is to stick with them for a couple weeks to give them a chance to make a difference. If you want to use products with silicones but don't want to use sulfates, coco betaine or cocamidopropyl betaine in your shampoo will also remove silicones. Do you know how your hair feels about protein? If your hair's coarse, it might not like some types of protein, so you might want to keep an eye on which proteins your products contain. Just a few ideas to think about. :)
    3a, dense, fairly coarse, normal porosity and elasticity, just below shoulder
    Low poo: Giovanni 50 50
    Co-wash: aia, suave coconut, salon care
    R O: Tresume Naturals, gvpcb
    L I: KCKT, gvpcb
    Stylers: cjpp, re : coil, kccc, brhg
    Oils: coconut, argan
    Experimenting with: curls rock amplifier, pantene mousse
  • BluebloodBlueblood Posts: 1,748Registered Users
    You are trying too many different products and regimes.

    What you need to do is go back to basics. Stick with a small group of products for a few weeks then change only one thing.

    Generally those with coarse hair should avoid protein so you need to look at ingredients of the products you are using.

    If you live in a hard water area shampooing with sulphates occasionally may be what you need to do get deposits off your hair.

    Also coconut oil and other absorbent oils don't work for some people at all or only as an occasional pre-poo. So you could try your conditioner as a leave-in or just use your styler e.g. gel, mousse with no leave-in.
  • ManBunMondayManBunMonday Posts: 3Registered Users
    Thanks for the prompt responses! Yeah, all the hair care steps (cold rinse, no styling and sleeping in do rag, etc) are what I've been doing for the past sixth months. The only thing I've changed in the past month is the occasional silicone RO conditioner, and I've used shampoo three times :( thanks for the protein advice, any recommendations for a cheap 'cone free protein free conditioner? Like I said, I may go back to nothing at all, that seemed to work the best! (navy blue tank top picture)