Why is life so difficult with curly hair?

Mallory_M10Mallory_M10 Registered Users Posts: 3
I have naturally curly hair and I struggle every single day with my hair. I cannot use a blow dryer. CANNOT! I have super frizzy hair. My hair just bunches up once it's dry and to me it's not cute at all. I just wish there was something that I could do that would make my days so much easier and so I don't hate my hair anymore. I want my hair to grow longer so it doesn't look so poofy. I want a great product to use on my hair so it looks more healthy. I also have a big struggle with hairspray. If I don't use it my hair gets super frizzy and it's just not the right kind of curl. Are there any suggestions on what I should do to help my uncontrollable hair? I always find myself pulling it up in a pony tail.

Comments

  • curlicious13curlicious13 Registered Users Posts: 1,632 Curl Neophyte
    Your hair is amazing!!! 😍😍😍 have you tried to use gel to keep down the frizz. I have corkscrew curls and if I don't use gel, my hair will look a HOT HELLISH mess. I don't blow dry either, but shaking my head around will give me frizz free curls without the blow dryer.
  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Registered Users Posts: 590 Curl Connoisseur
    We'll need more information, lol. Are you using sulfates to clean your hair? How about after washing...do you use a a leave-in? Deep conditioner?

    In short, what is your current regimen?
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • DaniGirl88DaniGirl88 Registered Users Posts: 1,583 Curl Neophyte
    I often find myself asking that same question.

    Some days, I have it down, others, I hate how my hair looks. I haven't found a consistent routine yet and I've bee doing this for a few years now. Hell, I'm looking for a new conditioner now too!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    3B, fine, normal porosity, high density, medium width and length
    Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle
    Co-Wash: As I Am Coconut Co-Wash
    Leave in Products: As I Am Leave-In, SM Smoothie/Milk, KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In
    Air Dry

    Looking for new products and methods to try!



  • Mallory_M10Mallory_M10 Registered Users Posts: 3
    I use Suave Professionals Keratin Infusion For Frizzy Hair. When I get out of the shower I dry my hair with a cotton t-shirt. Then i put in Suave Professionals Keratin Infusion Leave-in Conditioner. After I let that sit for a few mins. i then use Suave Professionals Captivating Curls Cream Mousse. And a spray of Suave Professionals Touchable Finish Lighweight Hold hairspray. I have a major problem with frizzy and after it drying being frizzy if I don't use hairspray it's like a soft furry hairball. I don't get haircuts on a regular basis. Maybe 2-3 time a year. I rarely straighten my hair. I wash my hair twice a day. I have layers in my hair which to me makes my hair look really bad. Is there anything here that I am doing wrong? Or are there things I can do to improve my hair and what it looks like after it drys? Also are there other products that I could be using?
  • DaniGirl88DaniGirl88 Registered Users Posts: 1,583 Curl Neophyte
    I use Suave Professionals Keratin Infusion For Frizzy Hair. When I get out of the shower I dry my hair with a cotton t-shirt. Then i put in Suave Professionals Keratin Infusion Leave-in Conditioner. After I let that sit for a few mins. i then use Suave Professionals Captivating Curls Cream Mousse. And a spray of Suave Professionals Touchable Finish Lighweight Hold hairspray. I have a major problem with frizzy and after it drying being frizzy if I don't use hairspray it's like a soft furry hairball. I don't get haircuts on a regular basis. Maybe 2-3 time a year. I rarely straighten my hair. I wash my hair twice a day. I have layers in my hair which to me makes my hair look really bad. Is there anything here that I am doing wrong? Or are there things I can do to improve my hair and what it looks like after it drys? Also are there other products that I could be using?

    The Suave Professionals products don't work well with my hair. It dries my hair out and I notice a lot more frizz. I'm not sure what it is about it though. I'm not good with products and ingredients. Maybe try something more natural? A lot of curlies use oils and gels. Maybe try applying some gel while your hair is soaking wet?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    3B, fine, normal porosity, high density, medium width and length
    Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle
    Co-Wash: As I Am Coconut Co-Wash
    Leave in Products: As I Am Leave-In, SM Smoothie/Milk, KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In
    Air Dry

    Looking for new products and methods to try!



  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Registered Users Posts: 590 Curl Connoisseur
    Haha, unlike DaniGirl, Suave works well for my hair. Curly hair is so temperamental. Is your hair fine, medium, coarse? By your photo, it looks more on the finer side. Perhaps a good water-based leave in would help you because it's not as likely to weigh your hair down. I suggest Giovanni Direct-Leave In for starters. It's moisturizing yet light-weight. Target has it.

    Curly hair maintenance is largely trial & error, especially for a newer CG. It may take months, even years, to find the right combination of products for desirable results.
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • curlypearlcurlypearl Registered Users Posts: 12,231 Curl Connoisseur
    Well, I don't know. :confused2: Because to me, your hair in the photo is GORGEOUS. I would kill for hair like that. So I dunno.

    Maybe that was the one day out of 100 you were pleased with your hair. ??

    Not meaning this to be critical of you or mean, just honestly don't know what is not great about that hair!

    Hope you find what works for your hair to make you content with it.

    Also, just one observation that might help - you say you wash your hair twice a day. Can you cut back on that? That's a lot of handling of your hair and also could be overdrying it. Good luck!
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • sixelamysixelamy Registered Users Posts: 4,157 Curl Novice
    Well if that's bad hair, I'd love to see your good hair, because it's beautiful!

    Here's a tip that helped me a lot with the frizz - apply leave in to soaking wet hair scrunching it in upside down, then follow in the same manner with your styler. THEN scrunch with your tshirt and flip your head up. I always scrunch a little more styler in after that. It just makes it clump better and keeps down the frizz.
    2c-3a - med-coarse - normal-high porosity - high density
    :bunny:
    NP/LP: CJ Daily Fix, KMF Whenever / Giovanni TTTT
    RO/LI: Aussie Moist, CJ Argan & Olive Oil, Hask Keratin Protein
    DC/PROTEIN: KC Stellar Strands / CNPF
    STYLER: CJ Curl Queen
    COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
    :thumbdown:: glycerin in high/low dews, polyquat-10 & 11, parabens
  • BluebloodBlueblood Registered Users Posts: 1,748 Curl Neophyte
    @Mallory_M10 don't wash your hair twice a day as you will dry it out which will make it act weird.

    Other than that your hair is gorgeous.
  • RimiRimi Registered Users Posts: 2,001 Curl Neophyte
    Blueblood wrote: »
    @Mallory_M10 don't wash your hair twice a day as you will dry it out which will make it act weird.

    Other than that your hair is gorgeous.

    I agree. Also, the keratin might be adding to the frizz.
    21 y/o lifelong natural {4a-O ; spongy ; coarse ; dense ; MBL stretched}

    products {'poo: TJTTT shampoo | RO: TJTTT Condish | LI/style: TJTTT Condish, homemade cocoa butter cream | DC: condish + ayurvedic powder(s), Aussie 3MMM Treatment | PT: condish + NPF | oils: castor oil, grapeseed oil | other treatments: probiotics, tea rinses, AVG rinse/spritz, oil rinse | sealing method: LC sometimes O}

    long-term: HL stretched, BSL unstretched

    CG-friendly Products List!
  • ChaiaChaia Registered Users Posts: 5
    First, your hair is so gorgeous! But if you aren't happy with your frizz and want a change, there are lots of things you can try - it may be as Rimi said and your hair is sensitive to keratin and you need a different conditioner. You could also try doing deep treatments to improve your hair's hydration - there are lots of great treatments you can buy or make that are recommended on the site. :) Personally I usually apply warmed olive oil and honey about once a week, let it sit for 15/30 min and wash it off, and this helps control my frizz LOADS.

    Changing stylers/conditioners can definitely help, but basically different things work for different people. I'd suggest trying to change one thing at a time so that you can see whether that one thing does make a positive difference.
    3a curls. Fine hair.
    Low-Poo: Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus
    Co-Wash: Timotei Pure
    Rinse-Out: Dr Organic Moroccan Argan Oil
    Leave-In: Naked Little Miracle
    Stylers: Boots Curl Creme & Frizz Ease Mouse
  • WurlyLoxWurlyLox Registered Users Posts: 4,858 Curl Neophyte
    Suave Professional products are probably not CG like the Suave Natural products that are so familiar around here - they probably contain sulfates and silicones, so that may be something else to consider, though that's not necessarily a bad thing to a lot of people
    2C/3A/3B - modified CG - fairly fine now, normal/low porosity/normal elasticity

    Current Main Rotation: MG217 medicated or Aim2Health 'poos for scalp, Elucence cond., Spiral Solutions Protein & Deeply Decadent Cond., CJCCCC reg or lite,CJ Pattern Pusha,, Giovanni LA Hold Hair Spritz + lots more, sporadically

    HG Method: Super Soaker + Smasters-ing, brief upside down diffusing w/360o diffuser then clips/clamps & air dry. Newly gray - stopped my henna glosses!

    www.fotki.com/auntnett
  • Morgan_AdcockMorgan_Adcock Registered Users Posts: 2,573 Curl Neophyte
    Right you are! It's Suave's Naturals line which is particularly good for naturally curly hair. The Suave Professionals are non-CG.
    Peace,
    Morgan

    Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
    CGing since July 2008
  • chupiechupie Registered Users Posts: 5,280 Curl Connoisseur
    I suspect like the others, you probably need to try some different products. But also, HOW do you apply product. That is probably as important as WHAT you are applying.

    I'm with the others, I'd kill for hair like yours. It's lovely. So nice and even a pattern. You have a STRONG pattern it looks like. So instead of scrunching in product you can probably used a more smoothing type action, from root to tip, squeezing as you go to help press the stray hairs into the clumps. Or at least using that first before scrunching. If you don't want it to curl as much skip scrunching altogether. (I go off of someone I know with similar hair and she is all about keeping frizz low and doesn't care about bounce or volume). Also, what climate do you live in? That will have a big impact on the type of ingredients you want to see in your products.

    I also don't think Suave professionals are silicone free. You are using an entire line, and while a lot of people who use curly girl method eventually go back to A product with silicones, when every product has them, you are probably getting some frizz and trouble from that. Have you read about the curly girl method? It's kind of worth getting the book (it's like 10$ or so on Amazong) with the dvd if you have not really read through it. My boss has hair like yours and I just out and out bought it for her because her complaints were much like yours. She is so thrilled at how her hair time has drastically dropped and her frizz level.

    I agree, washing twice a day may be the thing that is making your hair most unmanageable. Why do you need to wash it that often?

    It's too bad you would rather have straight hair because if you keep that on your mind it's going to affect your view of your hair, no matter how it turns out. I'm the opposite, I wish I had curly hair, and my 2a/b hair seems so hard to do either straightened OR more wave. It just won't do either easily. But I did realize something in the last year and a half, I get most down about my hair is when I have been lusting over some other type of hair. If I just look at my hair as "what is MY hair doing. How is MY hair behaving. What can I do today to make my hair to be its best?" I do a lot better and am happier with it. It's definitely hard to alter your mindset to that. I fail a lot, but when I manage do focus that way, I am so much happier with my head.
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Registered Users Posts: 5,136 Curl Connoisseur
    Your hair looks coated in the photo - like too much gel so I guess like others have said, you're using the wrong products. Is your hair fine and requires a lot of protein? Once you figure out your moisture/protein ratio you shouldn't have to use so much hairspray.

    Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • Morgan_AdcockMorgan_Adcock Registered Users Posts: 2,573 Curl Neophyte
    I strongly recommend your getting a copy of Curly Girl: The Handbook (also available here). There is no better way to learn about Curly Girling than reading the book, checking out the illustrations, and watching the videos which come on a DVD with the book.

    I've been doing CG for over six years now, and have no desire to go back to the bad old days. My hair is so much easier now that it's like night and day. IMO the CG method is easy to follow (if you've got the book). And because I'm not fighting its natural propensities, but have learned to give it what it needs and get out of its way, it's rewarding me with the best hair I've ever had.
    Peace,
    Morgan

    Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
    CGing since July 2008
  • curlicious13curlicious13 Registered Users Posts: 1,632 Curl Neophyte
    One more things I sit under a hooded dryer set to cool. If I set my dryer to warm, my curls will be a frizzy mess. Cover you dry hair with a satin scarf or cap. This will keep your ends frizz free and smooth.
  • Lady_CreoleLady_Creole Registered Users Posts: 400 Curl Neophyte
    I think getting the book, "The Curly Girl the Handbook" and then purchasing Deva Curl products may help you.
    My hair is "exotic, beautiful and free",,,yeah, that be ME!!!
    3B/C - Easy to straighten, [no heat ever/no protect. styling].

    Low Porosity/Medium Density
    Mid Width/BSL-stretched/
    BC - 12/2012

    I am a "Co-Wash/Finger Comb Lady!
    Scalp Cleanser - SM ABS Purification Hair Masque
    Co-wash - Tresemme Naturals
    Hydration - SM CH
    Curl & Style Milk
    LOC - Organic Coconut Oil
    Styler - SM CH Curl Smoothie
    Deep Cond. - SM Yucca & Plantain Masque
  • CurlXTCeeCurlXTCee Registered Users Posts: 379
    I don't have any advice; I just wanted to commiserate. You've already received some great advice, and I agree that your hair looks lovely in the posted pic. But, I get what you're saying. My hair is different from one minute to the next. It doesn't matter that I follow the exact same routine and use the same products every single day. It doesn't matter about the weather. It's not about product buildup or ingredients. There is no rhyme or reason. My hair can be good in the early morning and crappy by late morning and vice versa. Some days I can save myself from bad hair by simply spraying in some hairspray and then quickly scrunching in the curls with a diffuser on my blowdryer. I have gone from OMG WTF??? hair to OMG WOW!!! hair in minutes using that technique, which I found here on curltalk. Sometimes all that happens is that I lock in the bad hair until I wash again. Nothing is consistent or reliable! I will say that fog is death to my hair, even if I don't go outside. This is something that I realized only in this last week because we rarely have ground fog here.

    So many days I want to just get up out of bed and go running, but I don't want to ruin my chances at decent 2nd day hair by putting it up or under a hat or by sweating or wind damage. I always have to give my hair a chance to "adjust" after washing it, so I can't just wash and go on wash days. On bad hair days, it looks really bad, not just kind of bad, and on good hair days, it looks really, really good, like, random people complimenting my curls all day long good. That makes it harder to accept the bad hair days without a fight. Though it's a lot less work than straightened hair, it's still a lot of work, and I get tired of the struggle.
  • ThirtyThirty Registered Users Posts: 7
    Have you ever went with no product to see what your hair is like / will do with out all the product ( when at home of course ) . Check out the pattern of your natural curl , any bounce and if shrinkage - how much.
    Try no towel drying once and air dry. Next wash or even just wetting with no poo , try plopping see your results.


    Experiment with different ways to see what your hair likes and what it doesn't like.


    I agree about not washing your hair twice a day, that is drying.
    Your hair looks great in the photo :)
    Thirty -
    3C /low porosity/ medium/ high density
    Low poo scalp only/ Suave Cond/ Leave in Suave- Regis Ultimate Radiance : air dry wet- No plopping



    Thirty-medium.jpg
  • CatitudeBooCatitudeBoo Registered Users Posts: 590 Curl Connoisseur
    Looks like OP has left the building some time ago.

    But I do agree with her question....it doesn't make life more "difficult" but it's frustrating why it can't be more consistent. I do the same routine and my hair comes out different ways. No matter how much product I apply (leave-ins or creams), it still frizzes up!! And oils make it waxy and gross-feeling. At least when I was straightening it, I knew how my hair was going to look every single time.
    CG since Dec. 2013  B)
    3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
    No-Poo: SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Mafura Oil Shampoo 
    RO: Tresemme Botanique Nourish & Replenish Conditioner 
    Stylers: Tresemme Flawless Curls Mousse & Extra Hold Hairspray 


  • Morgan_AdcockMorgan_Adcock Registered Users Posts: 2,573 Curl Neophyte
    I really do strongly recommend getting the book, Curly Girl:The Handbook

    It describes, explains, answers questions about, illustrates and has videos of a system of curly hair care which works extremely well for loads of curly girls. I started using it over six years ago, after a lifetime of bad hair, and it's changed my hair around completely. There's no way on God's green earth that I'd ever want to go back. The rare not as good curly hair day is still exponentially better than my best hair days prior to going CG.

    It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive to follow. A bottle of VO5 Kiwi-Lime Squeeze Conditioner, and one of the LA Looks Gels (Sports, Wet Look, or Mega Hold) will set you back about $5.There are people who make it a lot more complicated, but it helps to keep it simple as you learn the system and its techniques. If you need or want to, you can tweak things once you've got a good handle on those basics.

    Definitely get the book.
    Peace,
    Morgan

    Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
    CGing since July 2008
  • CurlXTCeeCurlXTCee Registered Users Posts: 379
    Looks like OP has left the building some time ago.

    But I do agree with her question....it doesn't make life more "difficult" but it's frustrating why it can't be more consistent. I do the same routine and my hair comes out different ways. No matter how much product I apply (leave-ins or creams), it still frizzes up!! And oils make it waxy and gross-feeling. At least when I was straightening it, I knew how my hair was going to look every single time.

    The inconsistency, yes! When I straightened, it consistently looked like crap! That was the one thing I could count on ~ I don't miss it. But, yesterday, for example, I had probably the best hair day of the year, and I have no idea why. I did nothing different. It was the kind of curly hair I'd always dreamed of having. It was so amazing, I just wanted to go stand outside so random strangers could behold. I'm getting some pretty decent 2nd day hair out of it, too. Tomorrow when I wash, not only will I NOT be able to reproduce it, but it will go a step further and will look absolutely horrible. What are haircare scientists overlooking? There is a logical explanation for this phenomenon, someone just needs to unearth it, and I don't think it has anything to do with product.

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