Transitioning is hard!

jreese1jreese1 Registered Users Posts: 2
Hi everyone, I'm new here. My name is Jahnae. I'm 14, turning 15 in three months, and my mom relaxed my hair since I was about 7 or 8. I began to notice this past year that my hair hasn't grow past my upper back. It has stayed this same length for a long time which frustrated me, and I longed for waist length hair. So I figured that it probably from getting relaxers once or twice every other month. I asked my mother to stop relaxing my hair around mid-late May of this year, and she did. I stopped flat-ironing my hair and everything, and over the summer I didn't flat iron my hair not once, I co-washed and used sulfate-free shampoo and treated my hair well. But when the 1st day of high school in August came around I started flat-ironing my hair again every two weeks, meaning I only wash my hair every two weeks and I still do this routine because I dislike the way my 1/4 curly, 3/4 stick straight hair looks, which makes me have volume at the top of my head, and no volume near the ends. My roots give me hints that I'll have about 3c/4a type hair when I go natural because the curls are loose but not too loose. I really want curly hair that looks like the youtuber Sunkissalba's; long and curly and healthy looking. As of now, my hair is brittle, sheds A LOT daily, and is unhealthy, but a lot more healthy from when I use to relax my hair often. I've tried braid outs/twist outs but they don't come out nice looking with my half and half hair. What would you suggest I do so by this time next year my hair can be at least near my dream hair look and my current goal length of bra strap length but also look nice and presentable for school today? What are some tips or tricks? Would you suggest curly extensions, or something else? Thank you.


  • ReservechicReservechic Registered Users Posts: 798
    Hello Jahnae!

    I actually transitioned for a year before becoming fully natural. During my transitioning period, I chose to slowly get my relaxed ends cut off, and I learned to embrace my natural curls and have no fear when it came to wearing them out. I know that you are mainly used to wearing your hair straight, and wearing your hair in textured styles is totally new to you. There are quite a variety of products in stores today that are geared towards naturals and transitioners than ever before. In order to start your transition truly off right, it is very important that any split ends or damaged areas of hair, be properly cut off. It would not be best for you to start a new journey with your hair, if it is not in a truly healthy state to start off with.

    I never recommend trying to get your curls to mirror someone elses. You must find true beauty in your own natural hair and definitely learn to embrace such. Also, relaxers don't do anything positive towards the health of ones hair. How one takes care of their hair overall is what really matters the most.

    At this time, it doesn't appear that you have a regimen in place that your truly happy with. Also, I am not sure what products you are currently using or have used in your hair, but it is definitely evident that you need help when it comes to finding the right type of products to use on your transitioning hair. There is the Cantu for Naturals Collection (which includes a curl activator cream, curling cream, hold and shine mist, leave in conditioning repair cream, deep treatment masque, co wash, and more). All of the products cost less than $8 each. There is Shea Moisture, which happens to offer a wide range of products. On the Shea Moisture website, they offer free shipping if you spend $35 or more. Plus, Shea Moisture products are offered in a variety if stores. I would definitely recommend catching them when they are on sale, as Target often offers sales on Shea Moisture products, along with Walgreens, select CVS stores, along with Sally's too. There is also the As I Am line, however, the majority of the products in the line do cost over $10. There's also the CURLS retail brand of products that you can find in a variety of stores such as Target, Walmart, Sally's, and more. And, there is Eden Body Works which offers a vast array of natural products that are being sold in a variety of stores such as Walmart, Target, Sally's, and more. When it comes to learning how to do braidouts and twistouts, my dear, there are lots of YT videos that offer tutorials of such. Don't be discouraged if your braudouts or twistouts don't come out as perfect as you want them to. Remember, practice does make perfect.

    I will say this in regards to getting curly extensions put in your hair. Extensions require regular upkeep, and there is always the possibility of them causing damage to your own hair. Which is why, if you were to commit to such, you'd really have to know how to take care of both the extensions and your hair and scalp underneath such too.

    I do think that you can make it, when it comes to transitioning. As, it is actually not as hard as many individuals think. Its just that many Black females are more accustomed to getting their hair relaxed, and dealing with relaxed hair, than they are with dealing with their own natural hair. Which is why, when one chooses to transition, it is something that is totally brand new to them and does really involve learning to truly embrace one's own natural curl pattern and hair texture. Therefore, I can truly understand transitioning being a struggle for you. And, doing such while at age 14 definitely doesn't make it any easier. However, I want you to know that I would rather see you take care of your hair in the most healthiest way, in its natural state, than for you to feel that you have to depend upon relaxers and flat irons your whole life, because that is considered the "norm" amongst most Black females.

    Please know that you do have my full support. Also, I definitely hope that you will not give up towards going natural.
    Diagnosed with Scalp Eczema 6/2015
    (Don't hair type/loose curl pattern/fine texture/low density/high porosity

    Current Regimen (Ayurvedic Based):
    Cleansers- Bobeam Shampoo Bars
    Stylers-Rotate between Camille Rose Naturals Almond Jai Twisting Butter and Camille Rose Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel

    I only wear my hair in wash n gos or buns. Also,
    I do not use conditioner on my hair on a weekly basis. And, my hair is A ok with that!

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