CurlTalk

Natural Reveal to Boyfriend?

Hey everyone! I am a newbie here and this is my first post.

I have been seeing my current boyfriend for about 5 months and we are quite serious. He always compliments me and tells me how beautiful I am. But the thing is, he has never seen my natural hair. He has only seen me with a weave, and believes that is my real hair. I don't know if I should show him my real hair because I feel very insecure about the length. I am also slightly worried about his reaction because he frequently jokes about how upset he would be if I were to get a short haircut; and my real hair is short..

So my question is, do you think I should show my boyfriend my natural hair?

If any of you have been in similar situations I would love to hear about your experiences. Thanks!

Comments

  • RimiRimi Posts: 2,001Registered Users
    Hey everyone! I am a newbie here and this is my first post.

    I have been seeing my current boyfriend for about 5 months and we are quite serious. He always compliments me and tells me how beautiful I am. But the thing is, he has never seen my natural hair. He has only seen me with a weave, and believes that is my real hair. I don't know if I should show him my real hair because I feel very insecure about the length. I am also slightly worried about his reaction because he frequently jokes about how upset he would be if I were to get a short haircut; and my real hair is short..

    So my question is, do you think I should show my boyfriend my natural hair?

    If any of you have been in similar situations I would love to hear about your experiences. Thanks!

    Show him sooner rather than later
    21 y/o lifelong natural {4a-O ; spongy ; coarse ; dense ; MBL stretched}

    products {'poo: TJTTT shampoo | RO: TJTTT Condish | LI/style: TJTTT Condish, homemade cocoa butter cream | DC: condish + ayurvedic powder(s), Aussie 3MMM Treatment | PT: condish + NPF | oils: castor oil, grapeseed oil | other treatments: probiotics, tea rinses, AVG rinse/spritz, oil rinse | sealing method: LC sometimes O}

    long-term: HL stretched, BSL unstretched

    CG-friendly Products List!
  • MouseyMouseMouseyMouse Posts: 16Registered Users
    ^ Sooner rather than later.
    If he likes you for you, hair shouldn't be an issue!


    Sent from my SCH-R760 using CurlTalk App
  • MouseyMouseMouseyMouse Posts: 16Registered Users
    If anything he should be glad if you do, since you're being honest with him. And even if it's short, hair still grows! I think it's good for men to understand natural hair so they can stop seeing it as a oddity and realize the versatility and health reasons behind it.

    Sent from my SCH-R760 using CurlTalk App
  • potatoheadpotatohead Posts: 175Registered Users
    ^ Sooner rather than later.
    If he likes you for you, hair shouldn't be an issue!


    Sent from my SCH-R760 using CurlTalk App
    Agreed

    3B/3C
    Fine thickness, medium density, high porosity

    CG since 1/25/2014
    BC 6/25/2015
    Still figuring my hair out
  • BluebloodBlueblood Posts: 1,748Registered Users
    If the guy doesn't know, like and respect what naturally grows out of your head then there is no long term future for you.

    People don't stay healthy and young forever....
  • StarmieStarmie Posts: 6,677Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    I would tell him. Like others have said - he needs to like you for you, in all your natural-ness.
    I was straightening my hair when I met my SO, I don't remember when I went curly, or his reaction, though he did know I straightened it so I don't think it was too much of a shock.
    3b in South Australia.
  • BotticelliBritBotticelliBrit Posts: 2,075Registered Users
    Definitely show him. This shouldn't even be an issue! If he's a decent guy and cares about you, I see no reason why he'd even be bothered :) embrace your beauty and don't feel nervous or ashamed!
    3B. Med porosity. Med thickness. Med density.

    LP: Shea Moisture (currently JBCO)
    Conditioner/CW: Jason Aloe Vera

    LI: Aunt Jackie's Curls & Coils Quench
    Refreshing: TRESemmé Naturals Aloe Vera & Avocado
    Gel: DevaCurl Ultra Defining Gel
    DC:
    Aunt Jackie's Soft & Sassy Super Duper Softening Conditioner
    Treatments: Coconut oil/Coconut milk

    UK curly. CG since Oct 2013.
    Growing my hair to WL when dry :thumright:
  • eveumeveum Posts: 744Registered Users
    If he doesn't respect you with your natural hair he was never worth it anyway!

    Low Shampoo: Aveda Be Curly Shampoo
    Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture/ Perfectly Undone
    Treatments: SM Black Castor Oil Masque/ Packet Gelatine
    Leave in: Redken Diamond Oil Conditioner
    Styling: AG Recoil Curl Activator/V05 Mega Hold/Cornstarch
    Refresh: Redken Fresh Curls Curl Boost


    Between Waist and Hip Length (stretched), 2C with 2B roots
  • geekrockgirl85geekrockgirl85 Posts: 170Registered Users
    Are you wanting to transition into all-natural hair, and unsure of how he'll react? Are you interested in continuing to wear weaves, but want to show him every side of yourself, and not just what the rest of the world sees? Either of those seem like good reasons to show him the natural you, but I'd still discuss it with him beforehand; let his brain wrap itself around the thought that his ideal of your physical appearance might need some adjusting.
    2c. present color& past heat damage, fine, low-density, high porosity, happy with some protein. re-CG as of 5/2014. Wash:V05 PFS or KLS, RO: (trying to use up my stash; so it's always different!), LI: Cure Care, DT: SM Smooth & Repair Hair Masque, Style: Ecostyler Olive Oil / La Bella Lots of Curls gel
  • ReservechicReservechic Posts: 798Registered Users
    I believe that the best type of relationship to have is an honest one. I would definitely tell your boyfriend, while you two are privately together, that you are presently wearing a weave. Let him know, that you do truly care about his feelings, which is why, you decided to let him know the truth about your hair.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with rocking your natural hair, while its in a short state. So, please try not to feel insecure about it. Your learning to love and embrace your natural hair in the current state that its in, is a key step that definitely needs to be made.

    Please share with your boyfriend exactly how your natural hair really looks. I feel that it would be best to do so through words first, and then you can choose to do the "big reveal" after you get the weave taken out.

    If a guy truly loves you, the love that he has for you will be unconditional. If it is not, then, you will need to ask yourself-"Is it really worth my staying in this relationship"?
    Diagnosed with Scalp Eczema 6/2015
    (Don't hair type/loose curl pattern/fine texture/low density/high porosity

    Current Regimen (Ayurvedic Based):
    Cleansers- Bobeam Shampoo Bars
    Stylers-Rotate between Camille Rose Naturals Almond Jai Twisting Butter and Camille Rose Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel

    I only wear my hair in wash n gos or buns. Also,
    I do not use conditioner on my hair on a weekly basis. And, my hair is A ok with that!
  • ReservechicReservechic Posts: 798Registered Users
    Definitely show him. This shouldn't even be an issue! If he's a decent guy and cares about you, I see no reason why he'd even be bothered :) embrace your beauty and don't feel nervous or ashamed!

    Very well said. I couldn't agree with you more!
    Diagnosed with Scalp Eczema 6/2015
    (Don't hair type/loose curl pattern/fine texture/low density/high porosity

    Current Regimen (Ayurvedic Based):
    Cleansers- Bobeam Shampoo Bars
    Stylers-Rotate between Camille Rose Naturals Almond Jai Twisting Butter and Camille Rose Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel

    I only wear my hair in wash n gos or buns. Also,
    I do not use conditioner on my hair on a weekly basis. And, my hair is A ok with that!
  • curliathenmostcurliathenmost Posts: 2Registered Users
    Thanks everyone for the input and suggestions! I will definitely tell him I wear weaves, and then I will show him my real hair when my weave is out. I BC'd and am currently 1 year and 4 months natural for those who were wondering.
  • FmasuhrFmasuhr Posts: 1,354Registered Users
    My bf noticed me cause of my hair, n that was before i started taking care of it, i was always natural though would brush it and didnt really have a routine, anyway, he fell in love with my hair n me then. Maybe he likes your natural hair better :) (my bf would cut my hair off if i ever straightend or relaxed it, which is cute in a way) just be yourself :headbang:

    my hair: 3b, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
    my hair loves conditioner only styling!
    Oils and my own procuts are my hairs best friend
    my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.
    :hello1:
  • frcklsfrckls Posts: 528Registered Users
    Are you wanting to transition into all-natural hair, and unsure of how he'll react? Are you interested in continuing to wear weaves, but want to show him every side of yourself, and not just what the rest of the world sees? Either of those seem like good reasons to show him the natural you, but I'd still discuss it with him beforehand; let his brain wrap itself around the thought that his ideal of your physical appearance might need some adjusting.
    Very much agree. :)

    Back in my homeland, thick-black-shiny-straight-long hair is the standard. But seriously, not even half of the population have that. I tried 1001 ways to control my wave/curl without much success. Plus, with the crazy humidity, there's no way to hide it for too long. So, I just rock it naturally and dismiss any negative comments from people. Besides, I feel like it's my people's-personality-filter. If they can see me beyond my hair, then they deserve my love and affection. Heck, I've found a great bunch of friends and the most amazing man that way. :)
    2B/C canopy & 2A/B underlayer
    coarse | low-normal porosity | normal elasticity | low-med density
    (by GoosefootPrints)

    Clarify: Suave Daily Clarifying Shampoo, Citric acid rinse
    RO/LI: Jason Moisturizing 84% Aloe Vera / Paul Mitchell The Conditioner
    Styler: DIY Okra Jelly / Paul Mitchell Thicken Up / Shu Uemura Cotton Uzu Flexible Defining Cream
    Treatment: H&B Wonder Oil + VCO, Honey-Cardamom-EVOO-Chamomile