How does your mom feel about YOUR natural hair?

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Comments

  • KaZenner1990KaZenner1990 Posts: 859Registered Users
    potatohead wrote: »
    My mom's not a big fan of curly hair. Most of my family has wavy hair but my mom and I both have the same dry, curly hair. She has been relaxing and straightening her hair for years and had me doing the same. Since I made the decision to go natural in January she's fine with it but doesn't really take it seriously? Occasionally she'll say my hair looks nice but then every now and then she'll say I should get relaxer because of my new growth. I tried to convince her to go natural with me but she refuses.
    Oh well :tongue7:

    I would understand questioning and not.liking something different. If you.don't like something that is same or similar yo yours you can't accept you own self. My mother.doesn't like my less voluminous hair but if she didn't fluff hers it would stuck to her face. If I didn't use gel then ny hair would fluff itself. It seems easier to question something you don't know. At least it seems...


    {Stats for mobiles}
    M/C, High Porosity,Normal Elast. 2c/3a Boticelli/Corkicelli
    2C/3A Botticelli/Corkicelli.Growing out color/heat damage
    M/C, Low/Medium/High Por, Normal Elast. Medium Density
    LP: INSIGHT DAMAGED HAIR Restructurizing Shampoo
    CO: Generic protein conditioner, Hair Academy Deep Cleansing CO
    DET/RO/LI: GNC Avocado And Shea Butter Conditioner +/mask,
    Styler: Schwarzkopf Taft Fixing GelWellaflex Instant Volume Boost Mousse
    DT: EVOO, C.O
    HG
    Goal: WL when curly
    CG since Feb 2014
  • potatoheadpotatohead Posts: 175Registered Users
    potatohead wrote: »
    My mom's not a big fan of curly hair. Most of my family has wavy hair but my mom and I both have the same dry, curly hair. She has been relaxing and straightening her hair for years and had me doing the same. Since I made the decision to go natural in January she's fine with it but doesn't really take it seriously? Occasionally she'll say my hair looks nice but then every now and then she'll say I should get relaxer because of my new growth. I tried to convince her to go natural with me but she refuses.
    Oh well :tongue7:

    I would understand questioning and not.liking something different. If you.don't like something that is same or similar yo yours you can't accept you own self. My mother.doesn't like my less voluminous hair but if she didn't fluff hers it would stuck to her face. If I didn't use gel then ny hair would fluff itself. It seems easier to question something you don't know. At least it seems...


    {Stats for mobiles}
    M/C, High Porosity,Normal Elast. 2c/3a Boticelli/Corkicelli

    Agreed. Our mothers will continue doing what they do just like we'll continue doing what we do. I guess it is what it is, right?

    3B/3C
    Fine thickness, medium density, high porosity

    CG since 1/25/2014
    BC 6/25/2015
    Still figuring my hair out
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,280Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    My mom is 87 with dementia and can't remember 5 minutes but she remembers to ask me nearly everytime I call if I have a perm. She always loved my hair permed. Her answer to any hair problem was "perm it" lol.
    Hated my hair when I had it short because I couldn't perm and didn't know how to care for it for like 15 years. She saw it wavy like I do now this fall and liked it. But she thought it was a perm. LOL. She grew up idolizing Shirley Temple. And I admit, my hair looks (IMO) awful straightened and pretty homeless unstyled. But I always wish it were curlier. Always. Even now. I don't know if that is a real myself preference or because that was her ideal.
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • KaZenner1990KaZenner1990 Posts: 859Registered Users
    potatohead wrote: »
    potatohead wrote: »
    My mom's not a big fan of curly hair. Most of my family has wavy hair but my mom and I both have the same dry, curly hair. She has been relaxing and straightening her hair for years and had me doing the same. Since I made the decision to go natural in January she's fine with it but doesn't really take it seriously? Occasionally she'll say my hair looks nice but then every now and then she'll say I should get relaxer because of my new growth. I tried to convince her to go natural with me but she refuses.
    Oh well :tongue7:

    I would understand questioning and not.liking something different. If you.don't like something that is same or similar yo yours you can't accept you own self. My mother.doesn't like my less voluminous hair but if she didn't fluff hers it would stuck to her face. If I didn't use gel then ny hair would fluff itself. It seems easier to question something you don't know. At least it seems...


    {Stats for mobiles}
    M/C, High Porosity,Normal Elast. 2c/3a Boticelli/Corkicelli

    Agreed. Our mothers will continue doing what they do just like we'll continue doing what we do. I guess it is what it is, right?

    It sadness me though I can't share my excitement with her!

    {Stats for mobiles}
    M/C, High Porosity,Normal Elast. 2c/3a Boticelli/Corkicelli
    2C/3A Botticelli/Corkicelli.Growing out color/heat damage
    M/C, Low/Medium/High Por, Normal Elast. Medium Density
    LP: INSIGHT DAMAGED HAIR Restructurizing Shampoo
    CO: Generic protein conditioner, Hair Academy Deep Cleansing CO
    DET/RO/LI: GNC Avocado And Shea Butter Conditioner +/mask,
    Styler: Schwarzkopf Taft Fixing GelWellaflex Instant Volume Boost Mousse
    DT: EVOO, C.O
    HG
    Goal: WL when curly
    CG since Feb 2014
  • potatoheadpotatohead Posts: 175Registered Users
    potatohead wrote: »

    I would understand questioning and not.liking something different. If you.don't like something that is same or similar yo yours you can't accept you own self. My mother.doesn't like my less voluminous hair but if she didn't fluff hers it would stuck to her face. If I didn't use gel then ny hair would fluff itself. It seems easier to question something you don't know. At least it seems...


    {Stats for mobiles}
    M/C, High Porosity,Normal Elast. 2c/3a Boticelli/Corkicelli

    Agreed. Our mothers will continue doing what they do just like we'll continue doing what we do. I guess it is what it is, right?

    It sadness me though I can't share my excitement with her!

    {Stats for mobiles}
    M/C, High Porosity,Normal Elast. 2c/3a Boticelli/Corkicelli
    It would be nice to have a buddy at home :(
    Maybe they'll come around!

    3B/3C
    Fine thickness, medium density, high porosity

    CG since 1/25/2014
    BC 6/25/2015
    Still figuring my hair out
  • Tripgirl3aTripgirl3a Posts: 201Registered Users
    My mom really doesn't understand my hair. She has short straight hair while I on the other hand have 2c-3a hair. She rarely buys products for me, except occasionally conditioner so I have to pay for all my products myself (no allowance or job) so I'm always looking for cheap products. Thankfully now I can drive to the store instead of bike!
  • BluebloodBlueblood Posts: 1,748Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    @Tripgirl3a are you sure your mum has straight hair?

    There are women who cut their hair short who if they miss a regular cut you can tell as their hair grows they have some sort of curl.
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,280Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Blueblood wrote: »
    @Tripgirl3a are you sure your mum has straight hair?

    There are women who cut their hair short who if they miss a regular cut you can tell as their hair grows they have some sort of curl.

    So true. I bet my moms hair has at least as much wave as I do but since she always permed she'd never know. I remember her talking about a high school photo of her's and how "the photographer could make my hair wavy". Now, I laugh because her hair probably WAS wavy, she just didn't know how to bring it out.
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • SupahHSupahH Posts: 15Registered Users
    my mom called my daughter and i "nappy head" when i first started CG. she has the same hair as us but she straightens it and dyes it blonde. now that my hair is longer and healthier i get nothing but compliments from my family. now my mom, stepmom, aunt and best friend have started to wear their hair natural more often, but none of them have completely transitioned... yet ;)
    2c/3a
    Glycerin sensitive, protein craving
    Co wash- AIA coconut :love10:
    rinse out- GVP conditioning balm
    DT: Joico K-pak
    LI: KCKT
    Gel- lots of FSG
  • ReservechicReservechic Posts: 798Registered Users
    SupahH wrote: »
    my mom called my daughter and i "nappy head" when i first started CG. she has the same hair as us but she straightens it and dyes it blonde. now that my hair is longer and healthier i get nothing but compliments from my family. now my mom, stepmom, aunt and best friend have started to wear their hair natural more often, but none of them have completely transitioned... yet ;)

    I am very sorry that you had to endure your mother calling you and your daughter's hair "nappyheaded" during the early part of your CG journey. That is a very hurtful term. And, it should never be used to talk about anybody's hair.

    I am glad that you get nothing but compliments from your family now. I am also glad to hear that your mother has started to wear her hair more natural now. As, it appears that she has started to come around a bit. Hopefully, she will soften up more and more as time goes on.

    Good luck!:mrgreen:
    Diagnosed with Scalp Eczema 6/2015
    (Don't hair type/loose curl pattern/fine texture/low density/high porosity

    Current Regimen (Ayurvedic Based):
    Cleansers- Bobeam Shampoo Bars
    Stylers-Rotate between Camille Rose Naturals Almond Jai Twisting Butter and Camille Rose Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel

    I only wear my hair in wash n gos or buns. Also,
    I do not use conditioner on my hair on a weekly basis. And, my hair is A ok with that!
  • pinkpostitheartpinkpostitheart Posts: 112Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think I am very lucky to have my mom.

    When I went natural and cut off the relaxed hair last year, she said these things

    1. Ooo, you look cute with your little afro!

    2. Oh, don't undo 'em, they look cute!! (I stopped by her house before going out for a girls night out w/ bantu knots in my hair and was about to take them out)

    3. Your hair is growing so quick and big!

    [And for some realistic balance so I am not too delusional...
    4. Your hair is cute, but it's looking a lil' dry, baby. :angry3: I gave her the side eye and was like whatevs...but it was actually dry that time...I tried a product mix that wasn't workin' lol :laughing4:]

    In fact, since I went natural (and realized how to DO my hair) almost every single person in my family has given me a compliment. Or, if you're my uncle and cousins at Thanksgiving, stuck their fingers in my hair to feel it (not cool, uncle, not cool!! I think you had cranberry sauce on your fingertips~~~!) because it was "so fluffy."

    My father also, who never notices anything I do to my hair unless it's drastic (like mini-twists), exclaimed at a photo of me outside the Lincoln Memorial--"I love your afro!"

    Why didn't I go natural sooner? :blob4:

    event.png

    Last Relaxer: 12/24/2012
    Weekly Products I'm Using:
    Pantene Relaxed & Naturals Shampoo and Conditioner
    Blue Magic Hairdress
    Grapeseed Oil
    my hair is normal-ish porosity / dense / fine+medium strands
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,280Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Score!
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • TakusCurlsTakusCurls Posts: 7Registered Users
    My mum wasn't happy ,l think she just doesn't like the effort and time natural hair needs,my hair is 4c and whenever l did twit outs she would say you need to comb it properly :that's the style mum.
  • pinkpostitheartpinkpostitheart Posts: 112Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    TakusCurls wrote: »
    My mum wasn't happy ,l think she just doesn't like the effort and time natural hair needs,my hair is 4c and whenever l did twit outs she would say you need to comb it properly :that's the style mum.

    That's too bad, but we can chalk up the twist out thing to style preference maybe. My brother has long natural hair himself and yet is confused why I don't "comb" my hair, per se. *smh*

    event.png

    Last Relaxer: 12/24/2012
    Weekly Products I'm Using:
    Pantene Relaxed & Naturals Shampoo and Conditioner
    Blue Magic Hairdress
    Grapeseed Oil
    my hair is normal-ish porosity / dense / fine+medium strands
  • fairyjaefairyjae Posts: 28Registered Users
    At first my mom was all against it..I started off doing a big chop and now I'm almost 2 years natural with curly 3c hair and my mom is asking me for tips and askin me to come over and do her hair...hahha :)
  • JimipeJimipe Posts: 276Registered Users
    I've stopped discussing my hair with my mother, it just doesn't end well. She has always claimed my hair is not curly or wavy at all, it just needs to be brushed more and washed more often, because my hair is disgusting, makes her nauseous and other lovely words. She also claims that a teaspoon of conditioner should be all you need in a wash, that detangling is something easily done with a fine tooth comb and that you should always be using massive amounts of shampoo. Oh, and that all styling products makes the hair icky and disgusting. That she cannot feel or tell I have something in my hair does not matter...

    On the other hand, she has stopped saying to me it is not curly the last couple of months, after I came out of the shower, sat in the car and let my hair air dry in front of her eyes during the car trip (no time to do much) and it ended up just as curly as usual. Maybe it means that she is slowly accepting it? Fingers crossed.

    (To be fair, she grew up with stick-straight hair so
    CG since 8th of September 2013 - learning in progress!

    3a/m/iii - waist length wet
    Cleanser: Naturelle Volumizing
    Conditioner/LI: Garnier Respons Avocadooil and Shea Butter, Schwarzkopf Gliss Ultimate Volume Conditioner
    Styling: Eldorado Hairgel Strong
  • potatoheadpotatohead Posts: 175Registered Users
    Jimipe wrote: »
    I've stopped discussing my hair with my mother, it just doesn't end well. She has always claimed my hair is not curly or wavy at all, it just needs to be brushed more and washed more often, because my hair is disgusting, makes her nauseous and other lovely words. She also claims that a teaspoon of conditioner should be all you need in a wash, that detangling is something easily done with a fine tooth comb and that you should always be using massive amounts of shampoo. Oh, and that all styling products makes the hair icky and disgusting. That she cannot feel or tell I have something in my hair does not matter...

    On the other hand, she has stopped saying to me it is not curly the last couple of months, after I came out of the shower, sat in the car and let my hair air dry in front of her eyes during the car trip (no time to do much) and it ended up just as curly as usual. Maybe it means that she is slowly accepting it? Fingers crossed.

    (To be fair, she grew up with stick-straight hair so

    Ouch. Your mom's a bit rough, isn't she? Hopefully her thoughts will change with time and she'll see how gorgeous your hair is.
    It's hard for people to understand how much effort goes into curly hair when they've never had it. Here's hoping your mom will educate herself on the steps a curly takes to maximize the health of their hair.

    3B/3C
    Fine thickness, medium density, high porosity

    CG since 1/25/2014
    BC 6/25/2015
    Still figuring my hair out
  • naturecatnaturecat Posts: 1,986Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'm sorry to hear the struggles some of you have gone through. It's true that my hair looked and sometimes looks wild and unruly, and that I do get weird looks from people I know. However when I began to learn to control my hair my mom said she liked seeing the curl again. :) Cause it dates back to my babyhood. I thought that was kind of neat, because I grew up with her telling me to brush my hair as it dried and brush out those weird lumps that form. She's been programmed for straight hair. Funny thing is she's morphed into a wavy now, though she keeps it too short to tell much. My family has definitely been programmed for straight hair.

    3A/f/i
    Super baby fine hair, low porosity
    Shampoos: SM Fruit Fusion (mostly), Avalon lemon (to clarify). Occasional aloe vera and glycerin to wash.
    Stylers: Intelligent Nutrients Perfect Hold Hairspray
    Treatments: Catnip tea, IA girl's PT, Fermented Rice Water, Catnip Tea, Amla tea, Irish Moss, SS PT
  • DaheepDaheep Posts: 8Registered Users
    My mother is extremely negative & has gone as far as to say my hair is embarrassment. I make it a point to remind her that I got my hair from HER & to keep her opinions to herself. I know she has a lot of self-hate towards her own heritage, so all her negativity doesn't bother me. Besides, she's the one with the problem, not me!
  • geekrockgirl85geekrockgirl85 Posts: 170Registered Users
    It's hard for my mom to understand CG and curls in general... I get them from my dad's side of the family! Anyway, it's very ambivalent, mixed messages. On the one hand, she tells me constantly how lucky I am to have curl in my hair without perming. On the other, she tells me my hair looks dirty or greasy when I put any product in it whatsoever.

    I have always had a "rat's nest" of hair (one of her favorite terms), but when I was younger it only had the slightest wave. Then hormones got involved. She used to suggest putting it in a ponytail because the tension would at least pull it "kind of straight".

    And until she read it in a random beauty magazine, she didn't believe that the CG method was a Thing, and just assumed it was some untested craziness I found on the Internet. She used to tell me that it was "disgusting" to only wash once a week and never use shampoo... now that Cosmo or Vogue or whatever suggests it, though, she's at least on board. :P
    2c. present color& past heat damage, fine, low-density, high porosity, happy with some protein. re-CG as of 5/2014. Wash:V05 PFS or KLS, RO: (trying to use up my stash; so it's always different!), LI: Cure Care, DT: SM Smooth & Repair Hair Masque, Style: Ecostyler Olive Oil / La Bella Lots of Curls gel
  • ReservechicReservechic Posts: 798Registered Users
    Daheep wrote: »
    My mother is extremely negative & has gone as far as to say my hair is embarrassment. I make it a point to remind her that I got my hair from HER & to keep her opinions to herself. I know she has a lot of self-hate towards her own heritage, so all her negativity doesn't bother me. Besides, she's the one with the problem, not me!

    Iam sorry that your mother feels negatively towards your wearing your hair naturally curly. If she never ends up embracing your natural hair, i wouldn't let it bother you anymore. As long as you love and embrace your natural hair, then that is all that really matters.
    Diagnosed with Scalp Eczema 6/2015
    (Don't hair type/loose curl pattern/fine texture/low density/high porosity

    Current Regimen (Ayurvedic Based):
    Cleansers- Bobeam Shampoo Bars
    Stylers-Rotate between Camille Rose Naturals Almond Jai Twisting Butter and Camille Rose Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel

    I only wear my hair in wash n gos or buns. Also,
    I do not use conditioner on my hair on a weekly basis. And, my hair is A ok with that!
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,280Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Daheep wrote: »
    My mother is extremely negative & has gone as far as to say my hair is embarrassment. I make it a point to remind her that I got my hair from HER & to keep her opinions to herself. I know she has a lot of self-hate towards her own heritage, so all her negativity doesn't bother me. Besides, she's the one with the problem, not me!

    Iam sorry that your mother feels negatively towards your wearing your hair naturally curly. If she never ends up embracing your natural hair, i wouldn't let it bother you anymore. As long as you love and embrace your natural hair, then that is all that really matters.

    Thing is I have yet to see a woman who transitioned to natural hair who I did not think looked amazing. It's so sad mom's are so negative about hair :(
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • DaheepDaheep Posts: 8Registered Users
    Thanks for the support, but it really doesn't bother me! My mother is off the boat Dominican & comes from a generation where the 'whiter' you are, the 'better' you are. She's set in her ways & refuses to acknowledge that she has African ancestors somewhere along her bloodline (the hair & skintone came from somewhere!). In the end, it's her loss. She'll go about relaxing & roller setting her hair twice a week until the day she dies. I get to wash & go!

    As the saying goes, 'Haters gonna hate!" :walk:
  • Tripgirl3aTripgirl3a Posts: 201Registered Users
    Blueblood wrote: »
    @Tripgirl3a are you sure your mum has straight hair?

    There are women who cut their hair short who if they miss a regular cut you can tell as their hair grows they have some sort of curl.

    As far as I know it's straight. She's always had it short and when it gets wet it's still straight. My dad on the other hand had almost and Afro in high school because his hair was so curly!
  • naturallyjaznaturallyjaz Posts: 63Registered Users
    My mother LOVES my natural hair! I believe she wants to go natural but she has some eat heat damage. I can't wait until she cuts the damage cut so that she can see how beautiful her hair actually is.
    Last relaxer: May or June 2007
    BC: May 10, 2013
    Type: 3b/3c
    Hair properties: curly, wavy & fine texture; medium thick to thick density; normal porosity; normal elasticity

    Current Loves:
    Shampoo: Shea Moisture Black African Soap Deep Cleansing, Shea Moisture Moisture Retention, Carol's Daughter Rosemary Mint Clarifying, Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla
    Conditioner: Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque
    Leave-In: Design Essentials HCO Leave-In Conditioner and Blow Drying Lotion
  • WhimsicurlWhimsicurl Posts: 77Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I stopped relaxing when I was around 13. (Not a healthy transition though - lots of heat styling). I stopped straightening when I was like 16/17 maybe. My mom didn't mind. She just said it would take more maintenance. Years after that, my mom went natural.because she started coloring her hair while relaxing which resulted in breakage and damage. She doesn't like her natural texture much. She doesn't like the poofiness and has no patience for learning about products and hair properties. So she's experiencing more trial and error than is probably necessary. She says she admires people who are comfortable in their own skin, or hair, in this case. She is lacking in this area. But she hasn't ever discouraged me from being natural. Sometimes she tells me I should straighten it but not permanently, just to switch things up sometimes.
    24y/o - 4a - Medium texture - Medium to high Density - Medium to High porosity - Still figuring things out

    Low-Poo: SheaMoisture Moisture Retention
    No-poo: Terresentials Pure Earth Hair Wash
    Cowash: Trader Joes Tea Tree Tingle, SheaMoisture Purification Masque
    Leave-in: SheaMoisture Restorative, Nature's Gate Hemp
    Styler: SheaMoisture Curling Gel Souffle
    Deep Condish: Trying out KBB Luscious Locks, SheaMoisture Purification Masque
    Oils: Coconut, Jojoba, SM Elixir
  • FimuFimu Posts: 322Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    ..

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