What is your boss like? What would your ideal boss be like?

curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,227Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
Does your boss drive you crazy?

My boss wants me to be outgoing, confident, assertive. I'm quiet, introverted and shy. He keeps me because my work is good, but keeps indicating his disappointment with my personality. I like the work but I often feel sad and discouraged and insecure about myself.

There is a woman I sometimes work for in my office - what a peach. Everyone loves her. I wish I could work for her 24/7. She gives clear instructions, has reasonable expectations and appreciates what I do. Whenever I work for her I feel great about myself. I feel connected to the work and productive. She makes me feel important! I feel I could work for someone like that for no money at all. Everyone who works with her feels this way.

What is your boss like? Have you ever had a good or great one?
2/c Coarse hair med. density.
Highly porous. Color over grey.
I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
Every day is a gift :flower:

Comments

  • Fifi.GFifi.G Posts: 15,490Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I have had a few great ones. One former boss had a military career, was a Vet and was often misunderstood because he could sound a little barky when he talked. That was just his personality. He was very calm, caring, and would not hesitate to let people know when they were doing a good job. He stood up for his employees, and was incredibly wise. You could learn something from the simplest stories he told.


    My current boss is great, other than the fact that he is not the best when it comes to discipline and confrontation. He dislikes both and doesn't stand up for his employees the way he should. I will add that he did not plan on being our boss and was kind of thrown into it. It has been an adjustment. *My previous boss was also nice but he had some problems and was not really there for some time.* For the most part he good. He makes sure we have what we need and has tried to make sure our equipment is up to date. He occasionally lets me know how much he appreciates me, the job I do, and tells me that the office would be lacking without my presence. It's nice to hear from time to time. I don't want or need someone blowing smoke up my behind 24-7 :) but something random and heart felt is great.

    My office supervisor is another story. She is incredibly hard to deal with, pays attention to nothing, hates our boss, spreads around gossip and is changing our policy every time the wind blows while placing blame on us. She makes everything much harder than it has to be.

    I am sorry your boss makes you feel bad. It's not a personality contest. :(
    When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • claudine191claudine191 Posts: 8,221Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Well, my last boss was a really nice person, but a terrible boss. People simply went around him to get what they wanted, and he let it happen. He kept his head in the sand as much as possible, and became visibly upset when there was conflict. Everyone liked him; everyone walked all over him.

    I like a calm boss, or a boss with a sense of humor. I think people respond better to praise than criticism, and that micromanagement is a good way to drive one's staff insane.
  • Fifi.GFifi.G Posts: 15,490Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    ^ I can agree with that.

    On the topic of ideal... My current boss would be pretty close to if he would progress slightly when it comes to conflict and actually spend a little more time working in here. He will for a few hours, if he absolutely has to, but it is rare. He knows that he can NOT do our job, but I still wish he had a better perspective of what it is like on this end. He has came a long way and if he breaks bad, you better watch it. Overall, he leaves us the hell alone and you can't beat that. He is incredibly funny, and I really value that in co workers, period. We are stuck together. Might as well have some fun. Most of the newer employees have a hard time relating to his humor. They do not grasp how to use or understand satire and think he is mad when he is not even close. A couple of the older employees have the misconception that he "stole" the job from our previous boss, even though they are well aware he had some bad health problems that kept him from properly doing the job. He needed to step away, for his health, and that request came from higher ups. Stepping away was a good thing for him. He was not fired. He was treated kindly and helped until he could retire. I was rather impressed, but sadly the ones who could not accept it have continuously caused problems. That is part of the reason why my boss needs to get better with conflict. *He says let them think what they want and after some of the things they have pulled and letters they have written, I say get them in a line. :)

    Sorry for the ramble.
    When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • StarmieStarmie Posts: 7,169Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I'm lucky in that I rarely see my bosses! My immediate boss on nights works the opposite roster to me so I see her once in a blue moon, I like her though she's heading towards retirement and sometimes lets things slide that she shouldn't, and gets wound up about things that just aren't worth it.
    The next tier up consists of two people doing the same job, one I used to be really good friends with and we still get on, she's very good at dealing with staff issues and treats everyone fairly and well imo. The other was kind of persuaded into the job and is generally though to be not management material at all. Very irritating and doesn't seem to care about the job particularly, patients or staff. I think she probably does on some level, but it doesn't come across. No people skills, which is odd for a nurse. I never deal with her if I can avoid it.

    CP - I think it's inappropriate and unfair of your boss to expect you to be someone you're not - your ability to do your job is what matters and you obviously do that well. I feel insulted on your behalf tbh.
    3b in South Australia.
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,227Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Thank you, Starmie. It is demoralizing. We can't all be the life of the party. I would be happy to stay in this job for a few more years at least, if it weren't for the "personality" factor.
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,734Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    well... everyone knows that my last boss was perfect - but i didn't get him until i was 50 years old and we were together for just under 3 years before the judicial branch stole him away from me!

    :laughing1:

    my current boss is the one of the managers of court operations that i get along with best from our team - thank goodness. but she is unsure about applying for the permanent position because she lives 200km (135 miles) away.

    so i am unsure of what i'm facing down the road...
    My blog:

    http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

    Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
  • PerriPPerriP Posts: 6,613Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    my boss is a mixed bag

    1. he lets me do my job w/o much interference

    2. he allows me to go to all of my dr appts w/o having to put in time off
    sheets (I make up the time by coming in early)

    3. he's pretty laid back

    4, he's helped me to not freak out when I make mistakes but to just correct them

    but:
    1 he's nosey and often pokes his nose in where it is not welcome

    2. he doesn't MANAGE - i get feedback once a year bc he has to do a form and all three of us in his dept get the same review

    3. when we have staff issues (I'm next in line in the dept so people come and tell me things) - I will tell him and he'll suggest that *I* address the others, "sort of informally" and then if THAT doesn't help them, then he'll address it (these are things like dress code issues and chronic use of sick days)

    4 he thinks he can tell you how to use your time off (if i take a personal day, he will remind me "you shouldn't use them all, you know, you never know what will happen" (I have about 8 weeks of time saved up) - and then pushes me to work extra days to make up the time instead of using the time I have (I get about 3-4 weeks off in the summer, and he thinks I should just "come back a few days early" to make up my time)

    5. he's very judgy about one of my coworkers, will often say things (in large forums) like "oh, have this cake, nevermind, you are diabetic, you shouldn't have that" or "YOU CAN'T EAT THAT!! DON'T EAT THAT")

    6 he's sort of the eccentric neighbor down the street - he can't seem to follow linear thought and often answers yes/no questions with a 10 min example - and never actually says yes or no

    7. he really likes "being in charge" and often doesn't implement plans I have that have been requested by our customers bc "they don't need that, I mean, sure, make it available but it's not necessary" - and then hides it on our website and doesn't mention any of the new tools during our training sessions

    my ideal boss would provide more feedback, be a bit funnier, and not be embarrassing (doing a training with this man is horrifying)
    Modified CG since Dec 2011
  • StarmieStarmie Posts: 7,169Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    curlypearl wrote: »
    Thank you, Starmie. It is demoralizing. We can't all be the life of the party. I would be happy to stay in this job for a few more years at least, if it weren't for the "personality" factor.

    You're right - we can't all be the life of the party and I can't imagine working in an environment where all staff members were like that. I think a mix of personalities makes for a better workplace.
    3b in South Australia.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    See, personally, I reject the idea of having "a boss." There are ppl who supervise my work. And I am employed by some entity. That's all. That keeps it in perspective for me.
    curlypearl wrote:
    My boss wants me to be outgoing, confident, assertive. I'm quiet, introverted and shy. He keeps me because my work is good, but keeps indicating his disappointment with my personality. I like the work but I often feel sad and discouraged and insecure about myself.

    I think that is so unprofessional and crappy. I wish you would tell him that! He is there to supervise your work. The rest of that is none of his business. If you were in sales or had some other job where being shy and so forth hindered your success, then OK. But your work is good.

    I prefer a supervisor who is out of the office a lot and supports my ideas. Who isn't a stickler for punctuality.

  • SpiralliSpiralli Posts: 3,684Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    curlypearl wrote: »
    My boss wants me to be outgoing, confident, assertive. I'm quiet, introverted and shy. He keeps me because my work is good, but keeps indicating his disappointment with my personality.
    Seems like an HR issue if your boss is "indicating his disappointment" with your personality, especially if you have it in writing from him. I will bet that one of your job objectives does not include winning a Miss Congeniality contest. And I will bet that your personality is not disruptive to the workplace. Depending on how much you want to truly please him in this area, I would nicely ask him to be accountable for more details and ask him to make this objective he seems to have for you more concrete by following the SMART Objective guidelines: Specific, Measurable, Attainable/Achievable, Relevant, Time bound. Otherwise, he needs to keep his mouth shut about your personality. As long as you get your work done and play well with others in your workplace, you should not be held accountable for this. JMO.

    I had employees whom I. Could. Not. Stand. to work with or deal with. But they did their jobs well. So their "personality issues" remained only MY issues because it was just my opinion about their personality and they got results with the work they did.
    Location: Texas
    Type: 3b/3c (i), below shoulder length.
    CO wash: A-O GPB LYY, Desert Essence Coconut, Oribe Silverati
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  • DaniGirl88DaniGirl88 Posts: 1,583Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I've had a really great boss (as an intern). He gave me responsibility and really trusted my work. He also really appreciated me and everyone in the office really showed how much they appreciated having me (even took me out for lunch one day and gave me a plant for my desk). My boss was just really nice and I could talk to him about anything. He really made me feel like my work was important too.

    Fast forward to now and I don't like my director. She's the kind of boss that lets her stress trickle down the ranks until everyone is boiling over and ready to quit. She snaps at you and just doesn't know how to talk to her employees. She is very demanding and can be snippy at times. I don't feel like she really appreciates her employees, and it really bothers me that she talks to some of her employees in such a manner. Everyone says that she is just stressed, which I understand, but a director should have a level of composure. Or, so you would think.

    I also had a boss prior to working here that was a lot like my current one, only she was worse. She yelled at her employees in front of others and was condescending towards them. Very sarcastic and had a demeaning tone in her voice. Just all around unpleasant.

    I find that I have to like who I work for and with in order to be truly satisfied in my job. Right now, I'm not satisfied at all unfortunately.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    3B, fine, normal porosity, high density, medium width and length
    Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle
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  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 12,227Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Thanks for the input everyone. Co-workers tell me "everybody" likes me. I get really good, warm feelings from this group and they are sweet and friendly towards me. Absolutely no complaints there!

    My boss hasn't put anything in writing, but I will be reviewed in the fall. We are too small to have an HR department.

    I don't want to make this more than it is - I'm sensitive and the day I wrote that I was feeling particularly insecure about it. I'm not imagining it - I'm positive he wishes I was more robustly assertive and outgoing, but I know he likes my work and that's the main thing.

    Thank you everyone for your support!!!
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,734Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    OMG!

    my new boss just had an outside director come in to the office to do a "workplace assessment" with Evil and Clueless!

    they have basically laid down the law with them - no more "radio wars", come in on time, no eating full meals at your desk all day long, no "visiting" and from now on, one of you goes for lunch from 12 to 1:15 and the other from 1:15 to 2:30.

    they also have to alternate months staying until 5:00 pm so that there's coverage for me at all times.

    :laughing6:

    i LOVE my new boss!

    love-shower-smiley.gif?1292867634
    My blog:

    http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

    Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
  • TRBLTRBL Posts: 5,294Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ^^^ YAY!! I'm so happy for you Rou! I hope they stick to their guns, and things don't slide back after a little time has elapsed.

    :wav:
    When I grow up, I wanna be a Jiujitsu Turtle!

    My british name, courtesy of Ninja Dog Shade Haven-Staffordshire: TRBL Hough Jewelstone Turtleneck

    Its chaos a few hairs at a time. ~Minxy

    "Dispute not with her: she is lunatic." -Richard III
  • PerriPPerriP Posts: 6,613Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    this makes me soooo happy for you, Rou!!!
    Modified CG since Dec 2011
  • curlyarcacurlyarca Posts: 8,449Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    One is green to being a manager. She avoids conflict until one of the ancillary directors pokes her for the most part. Now she has a new backup manager. He seems pretty serious. I hope he's not a good ol' boy like so many of our technical directors.

    My ideal boss is: fair, competent (you don't have to be the smartest, but please please please at a minimum know wthockeysticks you're doing), open, encourages diversity of thought, encourages diversity among staff members, pats you on the back when you do well but is able to diplomatically let you know about screw ups (and offers suggestions on how to improve), is discreet when necessary, trusts staff members to do their jobs, has ovaries/testicles to show someone the door when necessary, and gives a hoot about the work we're doing.

    That's all I can think of right now.

    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

    4a, mbl, low porosity, normal thickness, fine hair.

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