CurlTalk

Comments about your gray hair

curry curlscurry curls Posts: 972Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
So, I am graying pretty fast now. I think I have more gray than my mother :) I like how it's turning out, but I find that I am getting more comments on it because of the gray. From the ones that I've had so far, women seem to view it more favorably than men. I had a compliment on it at Christmas from my old neighbor, but just this past weekend, her husband made a comment about it, and I don't think it was favorable.

Do you guys find that more favorable comments seem to be made by men or women about your gray?
Started CG July 8, 2008


3B

Co-wash: Deva Decadence No Poo
Rinse out: Deva Decadence One Condition
Leave-in/Styling: Deva Decadence One Condition, Deva Supercream, and Deva B'leave-in
Others: ACV rinses and protein treatments


Comments

  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,095Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    no, it's been a mix. i have had men (ones i know and strangers) come up and compliment me, and i have a guy friend who used to try to persuade me to color it again. of course he is obsessed about age. my son-in-law likes it, said he wishes his mother would stop coloring, and is supportive of my daughter's gray (like me, she is graying very early -- like we started at 17!)

    and there are some women who hate it, some who love it.

    i love it, so i don't really care.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:cj conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: cj aloe fix gel, cj pattern pusha, cj honey butta leave in, cj cccc, cj ciab.
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • curry curlscurry curls Posts: 972Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    rbb wrote: »
    no, it's been a mix. i have had men (ones i know and strangers) come up and compliment me, and i have a guy friend who used to try to persuade me to color it again. of course he is obsessed about age. my son-in-law likes it, said he wishes his mother would stop coloring, and is supportive of my daughter's gray (like me, she is graying very early -- like we started at 17!)

    and there are some women who hate it, some who love it.

    i love it, so i don't really care.

    :) nice. I'm still just a little insecure about going gray, so some of the comments bother me a little. I'm sure I'll get over it.
    Started CG July 8, 2008


    3B

    Co-wash: Deva Decadence No Poo
    Rinse out: Deva Decadence One Condition
    Leave-in/Styling: Deva Decadence One Condition, Deva Supercream, and Deva B'leave-in
    Others: ACV rinses and protein treatments


  • caramix3acaramix3a Posts: 460Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I read somewhere that baby boomer men in particular really hate to see grey hair on a woman. I'm sure not all are like that, but still. I think it works both ways with both sexes. There are always going to be people of both who support one going grey, and don't. Doesn't make it any easier though. I'm not there yet, about going grey myself. Maybe some day LOL!
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,270Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    So far my friends are slightly dubious about the end results, though they are liking it as it is growing out. (but so am I) .All women. But I am around very few men so it's hard to say what they think.
  • curry curlscurry curls Posts: 972Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    caramix3a wrote: »
    I read somewhere that baby boomer men in particular really hate to see grey hair on a woman. I'm sure not all are like that, but still. I think it works both ways with both sexes. There are always going to be people of both who support one going grey, and don't. Doesn't make it any easier though. I'm not there yet, about going grey myself. Maybe some day LOL!

    Ahh, yeah, these guys were right at that age. And, they are gray/graying themselves. Funny. :toothy4:
    Started CG July 8, 2008


    3B

    Co-wash: Deva Decadence No Poo
    Rinse out: Deva Decadence One Condition
    Leave-in/Styling: Deva Decadence One Condition, Deva Supercream, and Deva B'leave-in
    Others: ACV rinses and protein treatments


  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 19,251Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Strangers in general are the most likely to hand out the compliments. Young men especially love it and young women are a close second.
    My school friends and family are the least likely to like it. It seems to make THEM feel old.
    I wouldn't care if everyone in the world hated it with a passion. I love it and would never think of dying it.
    --I'm located in Western PA.
    --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, started going grey in late 2005.
    --My hair is 3B with some 3A, texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
    --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, oils, honey, vinegar.
    --My CG and grey hair progress -- http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html
  • SilverWishSilverWish Posts: 10Registered Users
    I have been going gray since I was a teenager (I'm almost 35 now), and I've never dyed my hair. So people I know are accustomed to seeing me with gray hair, and I've never had to deal with a weird transition period. I don't think I've ever had a negative comment about my hair (other than college mates teasing me about it because they thought it would upset me). I do get compliments from strangers, and I've often been told by people who do color that they wish they could stop coloring & embrace their gray. They'll try and not be able to follow through because of the weird transition period. So I'm always very glad I never colored.
    Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you nothing about.
  • KauaiMareCurlKauaiMareCurl Posts: 317Registered Users
    SilverWish wrote: »
    I have been going gray since I was a teenager (I'm almost 35 now), and I've never dyed my hair. So people I know are accustomed to seeing me with gray hair, and I've never had to deal with a weird transition period. I don't think I've ever had a negative comment about my hair (other than college mates teasing me about it because they thought it would upset me). I do get compliments from strangers, and I've often been told by people who do color that they wish they could stop coloring & embrace their gray. They'll try and not be able to follow through because of the weird transition period. So I'm always very glad I never colored.

    I am the same way, although I didn't have noticeable gray streaks until my 40s (I'll be 51 this year). Totally agree about feeling fortunate to never have experienced the color transition phase that seems to stop a lot of women from coloring their hair.

    When my marriage ended in 2007 (when I was 43) I considered coloring, but my adult daughters talked me out of it. I've had more compliments from women in general and the significant romantic relationships I've had post divorce all liked my hair. Current BF loves my crazy hair, gray and all, and he is six years younger than me. We've been together three years and he just moved in a few weeks ago :-)

    I've had women say, "if I had the type of silver steaks you have, I wouldn't color my hair" and from a few of those women, I know it's meant to be mean and snarky, however I look better than them from hair to toe! As for men, I tend to be a formidable woman, so I think it doesn't cross their minds to criticize my choice to be proudly graying!
  • curry curlscurry curls Posts: 972Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I love all the confidence in the replies. :)
    Started CG July 8, 2008


    3B

    Co-wash: Deva Decadence No Poo
    Rinse out: Deva Decadence One Condition
    Leave-in/Styling: Deva Decadence One Condition, Deva Supercream, and Deva B'leave-in
    Others: ACV rinses and protein treatments


  • starznthingsstarznthings Posts: 49Registered Users
    Oh oh oh! I have to jump in here. The few negative comments I have received (and remember, making no comment at all can also be negative) have been from women. Not one single man has ever said anything negative to me about my gray hair. I have just completed my transition.

    I find myself still having "color envy" when I see commercials on TV for hair color featuring all those vibrant, "shinier than any diamond could ever be" heads of blonde, brunette, red and black hair hair. What I have learned to do is re-focus my own eye.

    When I am out anywhere, I specifically look for men and women with gray hair, salt and pepper hair, those in the transitional phase, etc. Wow, there is a whole 'nother world of heads of hair out there that I never looked at when I was having my hair dyed. Everytime I do see a beautiful head of non-gray hair, I immediately try to find someone with a head of gray (or graying) hair, and I find it equally as beautiful. Does that make sense?

    I may be wrong, but I have found that the people that have a negative view or opinion of gray hair are afraid of aging, or are afraid their significant other will despise how they will look. It's sad that our culture is obsessed with eternal youth.

    I'm all for dying your hair, but when you hit the point that touching up your roots becomes so frequent that you dread it, then you need to change your own outlook. Age is not a factor then.

    When you feel self-doubt creeping in, go on the internet and look at images of women and men of all ages with all different types of textures and degrees of gray. You'll be re-inspired to reach your goal.

    Hope I didn't go off on a tangent here. I have a bad habit of doing that.
    Once upon a time, on a clear moonlit night, I counted all the stars in the sky. :love10: :sleepy2:
  • CasslrCasslr Posts: 34Registered Users
    I used to get the "Wow, do you know you have grey hair?!" from (mostly) friends. At this point, they all know that I know and that it doesn't bother me. I do get asked "Are you going to dye it ever again?" and my response is always that I'd rather have it grey and healthy instead of worrying about dyes and keeping up the color. Though one day I might henna it..just for fun!

    Occasionally it'll get called out by someone new. I am an engineer and often interact with male engineers in the 40-55 age range. They like to bring attention to it, but it's never explicitly positive or negative..just sort of in a shocked or teasing sort of way. But don't worry, I throw jabs back at them!

    My boyfriend is adamantly against people changing their hair color (he says it always looks fake...I disagree). He is also starting to get a few greys here and there...so perhaps we'll grey together ;)
    CG since July 2013 :)

    CW - Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut
    RO - SM Restorative Conditioner
    LI - SM Curl & Style Milk
    Styler - HE Set Me Up Gel
  • mamaherreramamaherrera Posts: 884Registered Users
    I don't have positive things to say about my whites or the way I'm dealing with it, but I was happy to find this thread to know I'm not the only one out there struggling with this. I've handled it for a while, five years now, and they keep slowly but surely increasing. But now at 33, I feel like the only one my age with as many as I have. I know my sister didn't have this many at my age nor did my mom. But now what's making it hard, is they're starting to not be as spaced out, but rather filling in areas that are hard to cover to begin (IE. temples where hair is thinner/more sparse) so even though I do henna a lot, those roots are looking at me within a few days. No one has seen them except me, but I dread what they would think or say. I do feel like OP say, about thinking my husband (who has had the same ONE white hair for years) will look like my son pretty soon and I"ll be mistaken for being way older than him and we're the same. That makes me feel very self-confident. Some day I'll have to dye it blond to get away with these, but I am just so down on myself like it's my fault (from stress) that I'm going white so early.
    2c
    Medium texture
    Normal porosity
    Normal elasticity
    can get weighed down with lots of oils
    Co-wash-trying giovanni wellness
    Rinse out: Garnier Body Boost, GVP
    Leave-in: none right now, maybe a touch of SM curling souffle
    Curl enhancer: AOMM and KCCC
    Gel: Kiss my face gel
    DT:Jessicurl
    Low Poo: abba pure and natural, Giovanni Wellness
    working on: getting rid of frizz from the get-go
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,270Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Not really. Stress may okay a part but frankly most women start graying in their twenties or thirties. It's not your fault or a fault at all. Go check out the gray inspiration thread!
  • mamaherreramamaherrera Posts: 884Registered Users
    thanks!! Having this going on, more grays with postpartum shedding is too much for my emotional state.
    2c
    Medium texture
    Normal porosity
    Normal elasticity
    can get weighed down with lots of oils
    Co-wash-trying giovanni wellness
    Rinse out: Garnier Body Boost, GVP
    Leave-in: none right now, maybe a touch of SM curling souffle
    Curl enhancer: AOMM and KCCC
    Gel: Kiss my face gel
    DT:Jessicurl
    Low Poo: abba pure and natural, Giovanni Wellness
    working on: getting rid of frizz from the get-go
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,270Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Ah but then I think you get a big bloom of new hair in about four months right?
  • CasslrCasslr Posts: 34Registered Users
    Disclaimer: Not trying to scare! Just inform from personal experience:

    My GP tested me for thyroid issues about a year ago since early and rapid greying can be a result of thyroid problems. I had never heard of that or looked into it, but apparently it was an issue she had.

    I was negative, but it was a simple extra test to asl for during my yearly physical!
    CG since July 2013 :)

    CW - Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut
    RO - SM Restorative Conditioner
    LI - SM Curl & Style Milk
    Styler - HE Set Me Up Gel
  • mamaherreramamaherrera Posts: 884Registered Users
    That's what I keep telling myself, but after my last baby, when the shed started it didn't stop for years. Not saying it was from the baby, but it turned into something else that took years to calm down. So I'm trying to stay positive about things. I wonder that too about my gray hair, if it's thyroid. Mine isn't rapid. . . yet, but it's slow and steady. And sometimes that route wins the race. After you got on thyroid, did some of your white hairs go back to brown??? Did you stop having so many?
    2c
    Medium texture
    Normal porosity
    Normal elasticity
    can get weighed down with lots of oils
    Co-wash-trying giovanni wellness
    Rinse out: Garnier Body Boost, GVP
    Leave-in: none right now, maybe a touch of SM curling souffle
    Curl enhancer: AOMM and KCCC
    Gel: Kiss my face gel
    DT:Jessicurl
    Low Poo: abba pure and natural, Giovanni Wellness
    working on: getting rid of frizz from the get-go
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I get compliments about my curls, but: nowhere near as many as since I am going silver, n o dye now since November. I dont really get it! but I sure do appreciate it!
  • LorriejLorriej Posts: 6Registered Users
    Myrna wrote: »
    I get compliments about my curls, but: nowhere near as many as since I am going silver, n o dye now since November. I dont really get it! but I sure do appreciate it!

    I'm in my 40s and just went gray only a year ago. I have strangers who stop me and compliment my hair. Both men and women. But they tend to be older.

    Others, as some of you have shared, seem to be threatened (?) by my gray hair; a visual testament that we are all aging? I guess I've never worried about wrinkles or other aging signs. Figured I earned each one of those.

    What's even more interesting is the radio silence. I thought I'd have more friends, family and others talk to me about my hair but it's sort of the elephant in the room sometimes. When I confront folks, you can hear the "you're too young" (what is too young/old?) or "do you want it to look this way the rest of your life" (yes!).

    Like another here, I like to look for the gray heads around me in public. I find that when I see someone whose gray hair catches my eye, they are exuding an inner beauty. There's a gleam in their eye or a laugh on their smile. I want to get to know that person and what makes them so joyful.

    Like others, I too have times of doubt. Am I pretty this way? Have I "let myself go?" Then I see a bad dye-job and remember the money and time I spent for flat-toned hair. I love the many, many colors of gray and the shine and the fact that my hair is certainly healthier now. The doubt goes away quickly.

    Hugs to all as you gain confidence!

    Lorrie
  • DustbunnyDustbunny Posts: 1Registered Users
    I'm 54 and have colored since I was in my teens- every color-every style-every length. I stopped coloring once before but wasn't ready. I had thought of gray as a non-color. I had thought I might stop coloring. HA. My REAL color was silver. Silver is like a black and white photo.I didn't want technicolors anymore. I have beautiful subtle halftones between the black and whites.
    This time I knew what to expect. I cropped my hair off, stopped the dye over winter, wore hats in public while my gremlin stripe grew in and the initial shock wore off, and just cut out the last of my dye. It's been a little over a year. If you're worried about how others view your transition, then just wait until they start commenting on your new color choice. Silver sends out a very strong message. People either love it or hate it and will tell you so too. For me, I will never go back to coloring. I'm proud to be a snow queen!
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,095Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Dustbunny wrote: »
    I'm 54 and have colored since I was in my teens- every color-every style-every length. I stopped coloring once before but wasn't ready. I had thought of gray as a non-color. I had thought I might stop coloring. HA. My REAL color was silver. Silver is like a black and white photo.I didn't want technicolors anymore. I have beautiful subtle halftones between the black and whites.
    This time I knew what to expect. I cropped my hair off, stopped the dye over winter, wore hats in public while my gremlin stripe grew in and the initial shock wore off, and just cut out the last of my dye. It's been a little over a year. If you're worried about how others view your transition, then just wait until they start commenting on your new color choice. Silver sends out a very strong message. People either love it or hate it and will tell you so too. For me, I will never go back to coloring. I'm proud to be a snow queen!

    i guess silver/gray/white and curly, too, do send out strong messages. i like what they say!

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:cj conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: cj aloe fix gel, cj pattern pusha, cj honey butta leave in, cj cccc, cj ciab.
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    RBB, I totally agree with you. I have always gotten compliments on my curls, here and there; but now, as my hair is transitioning and looks "ombre" people come up to me and tell me my hair is "amazing". Well, its almost a year since I last dyed it, and so it is past that awkward stage too - but I have not regretted my decision, or wavered from it, once I made up my mind. I have a party to go to in NOvember, all women, who I have not seen for a year, and it will be interesting to see what they have to say! I may be the only one there who is gray!
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,095Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    i think our hair, however we wear it, expresses the essence of who we are. which is probably why we get so very upset with bad haircuts, etc., as then it is not a true expression of us.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:cj conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: cj aloe fix gel, cj pattern pusha, cj honey butta leave in, cj cccc, cj ciab.
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • curlicious13curlicious13 Posts: 1,632Registered Users
    My grandmother's hair is grey in the front but around the back of her neck it's black. Her hair is beautiful. In the very front of her head, it's white. So soft. My other grandmother's hair was white at 91 just before she died. Both of their hair is gorgeous.
  • SpecklaSpeckla Posts: 144Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    MIL says it look great. My husband has been encouraging me to stop coloring for years and let the grey come in. He says it looks good and I can't look old with grey because I'm not old. <3