When and why did you decide to let the gray happen?

2poodles2poodles Registered Users Posts: 2,485 Curl Connoisseur
Whether you never dyed or stopped the dye, what influenced your decision? Curious minds want to know....

I have highlighted dark blonde hair that is prob 50% gray. I am 51 years old. Considering stopping with the highlights, but afraid I might look too washed out....
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]2Poodles :flower: Southeast PA
fine, med porosity, normal elasticity
Currently using the following 2 - 3 x/week:
Living Proof Perfect Hair Day suphate-free Poo, cone-free CO and styling treatment, plus KCCC

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Comments

  • chupiechupie Registered Users Posts: 5,280 Curl Connoisseur
    I'm considering now (50 yo). I'm so tired of touch ups every 4 weeks, worrying about it damaging my hair more because of frequency. I too worry about being washed out. Grey clothing looks terrible on me. However, I see these rockin' gray folk with longer hair and if it stays wavy (2a) it'll be even more rockin'. I guess that is what makeup is for, yes? I mean, awesome some ladies can go au natural and not look washed out (some even look more fab than ever) but I think I can play up features without being obvious.My main thing is I just won't know until I know. I figure I'll see if I can tough out the first couple of stages. It's really striking to me that I know almost no one in person who is letting their hair go gray (one Bunco pal who is younger than me and she loves it. Frankly I never even noticed until someone pointed it out. I always when thinking of her just thought "oh she's blond.") I mean, it's kind of sad that NO one IRL has embraced gray. I guess I think you'll only look like the stereotyped granny if you dress, act and style your hair that way. You can also look very New Mexico artsy right?
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • 2poodles2poodles Registered Users Posts: 2,485 Curl Connoisseur
    Do you know what your percentage of gray is? I feel like the higher the percentage, the more your color will be a true color rather than a washed out color. Does that make sense? IMO, healthy hair of any color beats a head of dried up dyed hair....
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]2Poodles :flower: Southeast PA
    fine, med porosity, normal elasticity
    Currently using the following 2 - 3 x/week:
    Living Proof Perfect Hair Day suphate-free Poo, cone-free CO and styling treatment, plus KCCC

  • kejournerkejourner Registered Users Posts: 180
    I'm too lazy to be bothered with dying my hair so that's why I haven't colored mine. I may use some semipermanent in the future when I get more gray so I won't have to worry about roots
    last perm 4/07, BC 3/08, currently trying to grow out hair.

    Check out my fotki www.fotki.com/kejourner
    no password required
  • OldschoolbabeOldschoolbabe Registered Users Posts: 39
    I'll be 50 at the end of this month and have grey in the front and edges. I have never dyed my hair and don't plan to.....but subject to change.

    I'm not a fan of hair color especially the extreme colors. Maybe is my age but if its a kool aide color it don't belong in you hair.....so says the middle age women.

    Sent from my SPH-D710 using CurlTalk App
  • KauaiMareCurlKauaiMareCurl Registered Users Posts: 317
    I am too lazy to dye and my adult daughters convinced me not to dye (the few white strands I had at the time) when my marriage ended when I was 43.

    The stress of a nearly 24 year marriage ending unexpectedly (the rat ba$tard had an affair with a skank only four years older than our oldest daughter) was terrible. But, I slapped on a big smile and an even bigger confident attitude (faking it until I could make it) and started making eye contact with guys at work (ex husband rat ba$tard works in same building and would get mad at me if I made eye contact with other men) and to my great surprise, THEY SMILED BACK. lol. At that point I realized I am a fabulously beautiful woman who didn't need that rat ba$tard and haven't looked back.

    Fast forward seven years with two significant relationships under my belt, currently in a wonderful loving relationship with a man six years my junior, and I now have about 25% gray wavy/curly hair (just turned 50). I've come a long way, but even in the dark, hard times, it never crossed my mind to dye my hair.

    ImageUploadedByCurlTalk1390346632.102045.jpg

    (Fourth day hair)
  • RustinaRustina Registered Users Posts: 894 Curl Neophyte
    Fourth day???? Please share how you keep it from getting all flat when you sleep on it!!

    I went CG in August of 2010, and then stopped coloring that November. I never had the cash to go get it professionally done every 3 weeks, so I colored from a box. The mess, the time, the unevenness of it - and the fact that I was just so darned sick and tired of having to think about it all the time - were all the reasons I decided to stop coloring. My hair is naturally dark brown, so I researched ways to transition "gracefully," discovered that there really was no such thing, and just went cold turkey. BEST DECISION EVER. I had a slightly longer than chin length inverted bob, and it took probably a year and a half to two years to get all the old color cut off. And in all that time, only ONE person made a comment about it (other than my mother, lol).
    Sulfate/non-water-soluble silicone free since 8/16/10
    Northern VA
    Med-coarse, normal porosity, low elasticity
    Dye-free since 11/2010

  • MyrnaMyrna Registered Users Posts: 2,472 Curl Connoisseur
    I'll share. I am 62 and have a lot of silver. The past year or so, I have been getting the roots touched up every 3 weeks, a royal pain. Moreover, when I looked at pics of my younger self - even, say, 2 or 3 years ago, my hair just looked better. I have been frustrated with products; nothing seemed to work for more than a day or 2. I started considering going gray.

    Then, I was in synagogue for the high holidays, and I looked at women about my age. Most color their hair. Most dont look that great with colored hair. Some look OK but it still looked fake. I began to wonder how fake my long dark brown curls look to others. Then, I looked at women who are gray. Some looked bad, but they were not well styled or well put together in general. And - some looked fabulous.

    I believe we have been conditioned to think dyed hair is "youthful". That may be so for some women and for a while, but it is not so indefinitely. I just decided I did not want to continue with the charade any more, the every three weeks in the salon, it was running my life. And, I decided that it would be an easier transition now, when I still have good skin, than waiting another ten years. My friends color their hair. They do not look younger to me.
  • KauaiMareCurlKauaiMareCurl Registered Users Posts: 317
    And for the record, I started going gray (getting those white hairs) at 35; at first I yanked them out, but then just ignored them (for the most part, they were hidden). The streaks in the front really started getting noticeable when I split/divorced.

    How I got it to not be flat: Day 1 hair & day 2 hair (Saturday & Sunday) was really stringy and thin looking. To my surprise, day 3 hair (Monday) had fluffed up; when I got home from work on day 3, I used a small amount of watered down KCCC along with a bit of conditioner/water/aloe gel spritz on some of the frizzy/unclumped spots to reform the curl and cut the frizz. Today, on day 4 hair (Tuesday), it's still looking decent. Oh, last night and this morning I used some Herbal Cleanser "Dry Shampoo" on my scalp.

    This is only the second time in a little over a year where I've had day 4 hair; am going to try for day 5 hair, but am also planning on getting up extra early in case it looks bad. It is almost waist length stretched; I sleep with it in a pineapple with a long silk sleep cap (pretty Antoinette) over it. I tried without a long silk sleep cap and my hair was way too flat; same for sleeping without the pineapple under the sleep cap and same for sleeping with a pineapple and silk sleep bonnet and same for sleeping without anything on a silk pillowcase. I don't move much, but the only way it doesn't get totally flat is to pineapple and use the long silk sleep cap, lol.
  • RustinaRustina Registered Users Posts: 894 Curl Neophyte
    Ah, the pineapple! My hair is not long enough for that, unfortunately. But I will get there. Thanks for the info!

    I will jump in and add that I started noticing gray hairs in my early 20's, and was regularly coloring by 25. I'll be 47 this summer, so let's see, 22 years of coloring - yeah, I was done with that!

    Myrna, I too feel that it's better to go gray sooner rather than later (for me). I have no wrinkles and have fairly good skin, too, so going gray now means people may wonder how old I am - if I wait until I'm 65 with a bad dye job and then suddenly go all white, they'll KNOW. Lol!
    Sulfate/non-water-soluble silicone free since 8/16/10
    Northern VA
    Med-coarse, normal porosity, low elasticity
    Dye-free since 11/2010

  • OldschoolbabeOldschoolbabe Registered Users Posts: 39
    Loving you!!!!!! Now that's how you get back at a rat *******......living well. You go girl!


    I am too lazy to dye and my adult daughters convinced me not to dye (the few white strands I had at the time) when my marriage ended when I was 43.

    The stress of a nearly 24 year marriage ending unexpectedly (the rat ba$tard had an affair with a skank only four years older than our oldest daughter) was terrible. But, I slapped on a big smile and an even bigger confident attitude (faking it until I could make it) and started making eye contact with guys at work (ex husband rat ba$tard works in same building and would get mad at me if I made eye contact with other men) and to my great surprise, THEY SMILED BACK. lol. At that point I realized I am a fabulously beautiful woman who didn't need that rat ba$tard and haven't looked back.

    Fast forward seven years with two significant relationships under my belt, currently in a wonderful loving relationship with a man six years my junior, and I now have about 25% gray wavy/curly hair (just turned 50). I've come a long way, but even in the dark, hard times, it never crossed my mind to dye my hair.

    ImageUploadedByCurlTalk1390346632.102045.jpg

    (Fourth day hair)



    Sent from my SPH-D710 using CurlTalk App
  • jakrussel3jakrussel3 Registered Users Posts: 423
    I'm 39. My natural hair color is a medium ash brown. I've got some really bright white hairs growing in here and there. Just single strands, not groups. But then I've noticed that the hair at my nape looks more colorless. I'm nto sure how to explain it... It looks chalky and not bright and shiny like the white hairs. Anyway, I'm sick of coloring my hair with dye and want to grow out my hair gracefully, but I'm worried my hair will look washed out with the ash brown. Wish I'd been blessed with dad's dark brown hair so it would at least be a little more striking. :) So I'm going back and forth. I'm considering "dyeing" my hair with black tea. I've heard it will darken my hair a bit, but won't really do much to the whites. I figure it's worth trying once. :)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Hair Properties: 2A/2B, Medium-fine, Normal porosity, Normal elasticity, Medium density
    Low Poo: DevaCare, Yes to Cuc's
    Rinse Out: DevaCare One Condition, Yes to Cuc's
    Cowash: Suave Naturals Lavender, Yes to Carrots Scalp Conditioner
    Curl Cream: AG ReCoil, Organix Moroccan Oil Curl Cream
    Gel/Mousse: Sweet Curls Elixirs FSG w/ Mag Sulfate added, Sweet Curls Elixirs hard hold gel, DevaCurl Frizz Free Foam, Aquage Uplifting Foam
    Protein: Spiral Solutions Protein Spray for daily use
  • chloe92uschloe92us Registered Users Posts: 1,203 Curl Neophyte
    I began my tansition at 39. Background: I started getting grays in my 20's and started coloring in college. Last year, my 64 YO mother decided to go gray, to my surprise: she was doing touch ups every 2 weeks and really had no idea how much gray she had since she had been dyeing for so long. To support her, I quit the dye too.

    That was Mother's Day 2013, I was 39 (8 months now). To be honest, it hasn't been a big deal. I don't have as much as I thought I did. I'm maybe 30% gray, with a streak on each temple, and salt and pepper everywhere else. They say you can't tell what your final color is until all the dyed hair is completely gone. I've had two comments from cashiers that sort of bothered me, but they were innocent; just caught me off guard. None of my friends or family say a peep, but then again,I'm a strong personality so they know it won't make me dye again or anything! It's just EASY not to have to dye. I have pumped up the makeup so I don't look like I've let myself go, and have been trying to dress a bit more stylishly. To be honest, it's freeing.

    My moms transition has been a lot tougher. She is a very young looking 64 YO; stylish, fit, pretty, small. Always dressed to the nines. She is someone who DOES CARE what people think of her looks, so I was shocked when she told me she was going to let it go natural. I had never seen her with gray hair. She dyed a dark chocolate brown, so her skunk stripe was obvious. She used the temporary color mousse from Sally's until just recently to blend the skunk stripe. Her hair is almost 100% white. It is gorgeous!!!!! I think we both have another 6 months to go before we are fully transitioned

    The interesting thing with hers now, is there's about 3" of dark ends left, and the rest is white. People ask her if she dyes it like that! They think its ombré. Plus, she says men compliment her all the time (she's married, lol).
    2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
    Cleanse: AIA cowash, TJ Tea Tree Condish
    Condish: JC Too Shea, Tresemme Botanique
    Stylers: flax/okra gel or KCCC + CJ PP or JC Spiralicious
    Experimenting with Got2B Ultra gel and loving it so far!
  • chupiechupie Registered Users Posts: 5,280 Curl Connoisseur
    All I know is the top of my head roots are pretty white.
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 20,729 Curl Virtuoso
    I only ever dyed my hair a couple times in my life and that was just for fun (colors like black cherry and deep purple). When I started to go grey in my 40's I knew I didn't want to waste all that time and money dying my hair and I didn't want to damage it either so I just let it do it's thing.
    It was an easy decision for me. I long ago stopped worrying about trying to look younger than I am or worrying about what other people think. I love my hair and that's what matters to me.
    I also had some great grey haired role models. My grandmother had a big white streak in her dark hair by the time she was in her 30's and I always admired it. My other grandmother also has pretty silver hair. My mom and dad both have thick healthy grey hair.
    --I'm located in Western PA.   --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, joined the forums in May 2005, started going grey in late 2005.   --My hair is 3B with some 3A, currently at mid back length when dry,  texture-medium/fine, porosity-top is low, middle is medium, ends are porous, elasticity-normal.   --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, coconut oil, honey, vinegar.   
    --My CG and grey hair progress -  
    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html   
    --My article at NaturallyCurly about going grey - 
    https://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/color/how-i-went-completely-gray-and-loved-it
  • MyrnaMyrna Registered Users Posts: 2,472 Curl Connoisseur
    YOu are fortunate for those role models, Jeepy. My mom always colored her hair. But her mom, my grandmother, had beautiful white hair, as I recall.
  • SojSoj Registered Users Posts: 45 Curl Novice
    I am 55, and the one time I colored my hair (like 25 years ago) it freaked me out so much every time I looked in the mirror that I went back and made them dye it back to my natural color. I only went from very dark brown to med brown - but I just couldn't tolerate it.

    I'm not sure when the white hair started showing up, but it's probably been 10 or 15 years. I have no grey; I have either dark brown original hair, or the shiny white. Whatever color it is, its the same color root to tip - it seems to break off when the color changes at the point of the change.

    I don't know how much white I have now, it may be as much as 25% or even more. Where before it made striking highlights, lately I feel like it is making my "youthful" hair look dull and drab by comparison. Between that, and the excessive breakage I've been having for 15 or 20 years, I've been thinking about a henna treatment. It's an awful lot of trouble, though - and given my reaction last time I changed my hair color I'm not sure it's such a hot idea. I also don't like the idea of having to treat the roots. I'd rather just let it go white at its own pace, but there is the issue of strengthening the hair shaft so ... I may go the henna route just for that reason.

    If I decide I don't like it, I have plenty of dark roots, so it won't be obvious letting it grow out. But we'll see. I'm trying a few other things re the breakage first - a single treatment with almond oil reduced breakage drastically; at first it made my hair soft and silky; but now it is flyaway and the curls won't pull back up without hitting it with the detangler or spritzing with plain water. I'm still working on it... we'll see where it ends up, and then think about the henna again.

    BTW - thanks to the people who worked on getting this forum for us, and to the people who implemented it. I'm so glad we have this now!
  • MyrnaMyrna Registered Users Posts: 2,472 Curl Connoisseur
    Soj, I know I have said this (several times) but when I stopped doing my roots, it took about 2 months, but my hair is now in much better shape. Also, and I will see what others think about this, but Jonathan Torch, owner of Curly Hair Solutions (Curl Keeper) says that hair needs MOISTURE (ie WATER) not oil; he disputes the claim that hair needs oil. I cannot use oil anyhow because I have that LP hair that products sit on. Perhaps others will comment about this and I am going to put up another thread about what happened to our hair health when we quit dyeing>
  • rbbrbb Registered Users Posts: 4,355 Curl Connoisseur
    absolutely our hair needs water, moisture. the oils and/or butters hold the moisture in, but we must put that moisture in first with water and leave in.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • WavyMaurWavyMaur Registered Users Posts: 46 Curl Neophyte
    I feel like I could write a book. Started going gray about 16 and been dyeing my hair ever since, a natural red-head. I'm now 64. Started with box dyes, then they wouldn't cover the gray, did salon dyes for years .I retired at 58 and decided it was TIME to go natural. I had a pixie cut so it was easy to do the transition and wow... I was white! It really wasn't a pretty gray. Decided to add lowlites and really liked that look. I kept that for about 3-4 years. Changed my clothes. When I was a red-head I had lots of browns and oranges, needed to get rid of those colors.
    Then I decided I was too young to be white the rest of my life, so back to dyeing it red, but I've had such trouble finding the right color, even salons can't seem to get it right, found a box dye that I liked, but my roots are coming in every 3-4 weeks and I'm tired of this. My daughter did my roots the last time and she said my scalp is very pink/red and maybe it was time to stop dyeing my hair.
    My family husband, daughter loved me with white hair. My friends, not so much. To my face, at the time, said they liked it, once I went back to dyeing it, they told me I looked much younger/better as a red-head.
    But I think I'm ready, my last root dye was Jan 1, how's that for a good day and while I'm ready for another root touch-up, I'm not going to do it. I told my family i'm going to go back to my 100% white hair and they are fine with that, I may decide to add the lowlites, and if that helps me I don't have a problem with that, guess I'll see how I feel this time.
    Sorry, I did write a book.
    2C * Normal Porosity * Medium Density * Chin Length

    Still playing with products ( using mostly Deva right now)

    Working on finding my inner curl.
  • mustangbunnymustangbunny Registered Users Posts: 1,033
    I don't have a ton of grey hair and I never cared much about covering it. I am 27 now and started greying in college. I got bored with my brown hair and started dying it, which conveniently covered greys. But I don't want to damage my hair anymore so I've stopped dying. A big part of not caring about greys is seeing women who ROCK their grey hair. My mother, user rbb and a few others, and actresses like Helen Mirren and Glenn Close.


    Low-poo: Looking for a new one.
    Condish: V05 Tea Therapy, Body Shop Banana
    Leave in: Giovanni Direct Leave In
    PT: My hair needs very little. I use Suave Naturals Coconut when I need a little bit and follow up with a moisturizing conditioner.
    Styler: Giovanni LA

    Go Red Wings!
    :hockey:

  • rbbrbb Registered Users Posts: 4,355 Curl Connoisseur
    mustangbunny -- thanks!! :-)

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • CasslrCasslr Registered Users Posts: 34
    I'm 23(24 soon) and started finding my first few grey hairs back when I was 16. My mother and her father gave that nice trait to me! I box-dyed it the first time when I was 18 and finally stopped a little over 2 years ago. I can't remember the exact last time I did-I just know it was weirdly growing out for a while.

    I stopped because box-dye isn't the best and as a college student I couldn't dream of paying someone else to do it(and stopping was healthier for my hair). I also had a great mentor in college who was ROCKING the grey at 45. I knew it would be an easier transition and upkeep if I just gave in now rather than later.

    Attached is a picture of me roughly 3-4 years ago with my sister. You can see my roots coming in and the fading color next to my sister's color (close to my natural color).
    CG since July 2013 :)

    CW - Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut
    RO - SM Restorative Conditioner
    LI - SM Curl & Style Milk
    Styler - HE Set Me Up Gel
  • SojSoj Registered Users Posts: 45 Curl Novice
    Myrna wrote: »
    Soj, I know I have said this (several times) but when I stopped doing my roots, it took about 2 months, but my hair is now in much better shape. Also, and I will see what others think about this, but Jonathan Torch, owner of Curly Hair Solutions (Curl Keeper) says that hair needs MOISTURE (ie WATER) not oil; he disputes the claim that hair needs oil. I cannot use oil anyhow because I have that LP hair that products sit on. Perhaps others will comment about this and I am going to put up another thread about what happened to our hair health when we quit dyeing>

    I don't know who Jonathon Torch is (or thinks he is, in the hair world), but I have read that article, and I think he's got a particular point of view he is pushing.

    I don't think every body needs oil treatments, and I know for a fact the commercial hot oil treatments I tried in the past did NOTHING for my hair; but a simple treatment one time with the almond oil has made a visible and IMMEDIATE difference to my hair. After 15 years of shedding like a Poodle slathered in Nair, I am having minimal breakage which seems to be mostly from hairs at the point of color change. After ONE TREATMENT.
    .
    So I'll take actual results over somebody who has something he wants to sell me any day of the week, LOL!
    .
    That said - I doubt I will need to do an oil treatment very often. Unless and until the hair starts breaking off in handsful again, I'm happy with the results of the one treatment. So far. Perhaps something with a humectant would be good for my hair, I don't know - but one thing at a time. Right now I need to get back on a daily regimen of spritzing in the mornings with the detangler and see if my old curl comes back, now that its not falling out in quantities large enough to stuff a mattress. They are there straight out of the shower now, which is a big improvement in and of itself.

    I suspect the flyaway aspect is due to the very dry conditions in the house during winter heating season. So maybe a humectant is in order, but ... first I'll just start spritzing regularly again, only using distilled water now. I just have to remember to pick up a jug of distilled water next time I'm at the grocery.

    I don't dye my hair. I've only ever died it the one time and that was decades ago. So I have nothing to grow out there. Henna, however, does not act like normal chemical dyes. Henna really does strengthen hair shafts - 100% pure henna at least does that. I'm willing to give it a try but we'll wait and see if it's necessary, because it IS a huge hassle and I'm not exactly limber any more. Plus, last time I helped a friend do it, we had real tubs, made of real enameled steel. The henna rinsed off easily (off the tub surface I mean) and didn't stain. I'm a bit concerned that modern cheap poly tubs won't be so impervious to having gallons of henna rinsed off in them ... LOL!
  • CurlyGrey3CurlyGrey3 Registered Users Posts: 508 Curl Neophyte
    I'm 50. I colored from my late 30s to 45. I started in the salon, then decided to do box dye and totally turned my hair into straw. Eventually I couldn't take the thinking about it all the time - trying to time the color, planning to have a block of time to do it, worrying about the roots. I hated the smell and the mess and the chemicals. My family was on the way back from vacation with he camper (I flew home because I have less vacation than school teacher hubby) and it was time to dye. And I just didn't. And I didn't the next day either. And then I called him and asked, "can I just stop coloring my hair?" [note: he never wanted me to dye in the first place and always wished I would stop] So I just stopped cold turkey. My hair is below shoulder length and I just let it grow. It took around 18 months.

    I wish I had never dyed. I love the multicolor look and I'm sorry I missed some of the early stages. I dyed because I didn't have the confidence not to dye. After some "life stuff" I evolved enough to realize that I really could just do what I wanted to do.

    For me it's a symbol of accepting myself for who I am. I need that reminder when I look in the mirror and it's good for me. It reminds me to be authentic. When I say this, people think I'm saying that you can't be authentic if you dye and that's not what I mean. It's a visible symbol to me of my personal inner journey.

    I've gotten more hair compliments in the past year since I've learned how to take care of my wavy gray than in my entire life before that.
    Salt & pepper wavy mix 2B/2C
    Low to normal porosity, coarse, kinky, normal elasticity
    Current favorites:
    Low poo: Yes To Cukes Color Protection (the no sulfate one)
    Conditioners: Renpure MPHIP, CJ Smoothing Lotion, AB LI, CJ Curl Rehab, CJ Argan/Olive, Darcy's Pumpkin
    Style: FSG, BRHG
    Pre-poo/DT: Conditioner with honey & coconut oil

    iHerb discount code: PNQ285
  • JuliaRoseJuliaRose Registered Users Posts: 68
    Hey everyone! I'm not totally gray, but I do have quite a bit mixed in with my dark brown hair.

    I've really noticed them coming in since around the time I turned 30. (I'll be 33 next week.) Every now and then, my sister (a cosmetologist) does a glaze on my hair (no lift, it just deposits color), but I think I'm going to stop that and embrace the grays. My husband thinks they're adorable and I get to tease him that they're his fault, so it's a win-win. :)
    Cowash: CJ Daily Fix
    RO: Sweet Curls Elixirs Conditioning Elixir
    Styler: SCE Flax Seed Gel and Hard Hold Gel
  • MyrnaMyrna Registered Users Posts: 2,472 Curl Connoisseur
    Soj, Jonathan Torch is a curly stylist in Toronto, and owner of the Curly Hair Solutions line of products, including Curl Keeper, which many here, myself included, like a great deal. So he is credible. Check out the website.
  • belwillcoilybelwillcoily Registered Users Posts: 303 Curl Neophyte
    I started graying when I was in my 30s. And I HATED it; absolutely and unequivocally!

    I went through trying to dye it with semi permanent dye which was a complete waste of time. It didn't take at all and I'm sure it didn't help that I was using box dye. I was learning how to properly care for my hair for the first time in my life. I was afraid to let a cosmetologist dye my hair because I didn't want all may hard work ruined.

    Then I started with henna which did color the grays. The only problem is, my natural hair color is a soft black color and the henna would turn my grays a bright red color that would rival Bozo the Clown's red halo of hair.

    It looked like I had red threads running all through my hair and the front where most of the gray was just looked completely weird (like someone had splashed red fruit punch there and I'd been too lazy to wash it out).

    So then I started using indigo and henna (hendigo). And this worked as long as I ignored the signs. What signs? Well, I'm glad you asked...

    Signs that I was allergic to henna and indigo. I didn't want to be allergic to either so I ignored the aforementioned signs for awhile and convinced myself that the way my body reacted when I used henna and indigo had nothing to do with an allergy.

    You see, there was no redness or itching or inflammation of the scalp but every time I used henna I would get these horrendous headaches. And indigo would put me in all sorts of respiratory distress (i.e. coughing, wheezing, sneezing, watering and itchy eyes, what felt like fever chills...you name it).

    What caused me to finally rip the veil of denial from my mind was when after a long marathon day of covering the grays with my hendigo application, I felt bothersome soreness in the back of my neck and the front of my neck. I chalked it up to being sore from working out and went to bed. The next morning; however, I awoke with several swollen and painful glands in my neck that made it difficult to swallow. I was wheezing like crazy and had the worst headache that I've ever had in my life. In my heart I knew and accepted it was the henna and indigo and I was done. I had to go to my doctor and get antibiotics!

    With henna no longer an option and me being afraid of ruining my hair with permanent dye I have been kind of forced to deal with my gray. I still don't always like what I see when I look in the mirror and see the gray but I have to admit it's growing on me.

    The way I'm currently wearing my hair (a curly 'fro), you can't really see my gray unless I pull my hair back off of my face into a ponytail or afro puff. I know as the gray grows out though, that this will change. I'm trying to get my mind ready for it.

    One thing that helps with confidence is that I've lost nearly 20 lbs since August. My husband has no issues with my gray but I always felt that for me to be both gray and noticeably overweight would be a disaster. I can't do anything about the gray hair except dye it and I'm done with that, but I can do something about my weight and I'm doing it!

    So anyway, that's my story. Hope you've made it this far and haven't fallen asleep in the middle of it. LOL!


    I turned 45 this past December by the way.
    :afro: Me Fascina El Pelo :afro:




    Low Porosity; Medium Strands; Dense
  • 2poodles2poodles Registered Users Posts: 2,485 Curl Connoisseur
    Belwillcoily - your reactions to the henna/indigo combo sound scary! Talk about inspiration to stop coloring one's hair.... And I agree, the thought of being heavy and gray is totally unappealing. A fit, toned, healthy gray, on the other hand, sounds wonderful!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]2Poodles :flower: Southeast PA
    fine, med porosity, normal elasticity
    Currently using the following 2 - 3 x/week:
    Living Proof Perfect Hair Day suphate-free Poo, cone-free CO and styling treatment, plus KCCC

  • RustinaRustina Registered Users Posts: 894 Curl Neophyte
    Congratulations on your weight loss, and welcome! And wow, scary stuff about your allergic reactions. I'm glad you stopped before something worse happened.

    Not wanting to be gray and overweight is a common theme, I think. I know that for myself, I've been working on getting into shape, as well as paying more attention to my clothes, make-up, and hair in general. I feel like the sometimes sloppy look I was able to get away with before just doesn't cut it now.
    Sulfate/non-water-soluble silicone free since 8/16/10
    Northern VA
    Med-coarse, normal porosity, low elasticity
    Dye-free since 11/2010

  • rbbrbb Registered Users Posts: 4,355 Curl Connoisseur
    belwillcoily -- that is some story! scary. i did know of a women in my neighborhood who was allergic to hair dye, ended up in hospital twice! yet, it was important to her not to have gray hair.

    i agree that gray hair can accentuate all our other flaws, so we sometimes need to change something about that, but it is always a positive! your story made me say, WOW! in a scared way and at other points laugh. i think gray hair is so stereotyped with being old in a negative way. even this site had us under the over 40 forum, not that that is old, but not getting that some people have genetics that start gray hair sooner. i started at 17. i think women are also caring for their hair in different ways now and that changes the look of gray. just a look at some photos on some of these gray/silver websites and certainly on this website shows that. i suspect that younger generations may not have this negative stereotype about gray hair.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine

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