I'm Ashamed Of My Curls :(

AllyCurlyAllyCurly Posts: 7Registered Users

Hi!!!!
I straight my hairs for school. Because i feel more pretty, and cute.
Before i just kept my naturals hairs.. But people found me ugly and wanted to be cool and beautiful.. And wanted people to like me..
I have 3B CURLY SPIRALLY hairs.. It's really hard to look beautiful...
I can't wear car, beanies or bows in my hairs.. And i'm looking a like a little girl.. I want to look like a teenager!
A lot of guys prefer girls with straight hairs.. Now guys like me. Before they didn't..
Idk what to do?
Ideas? Advices? All are welcome!

Ps: I'm 14 and french so my english isn't really good :roll:

Comments

  • CurlyCitaCurlyCita Posts: 152Registered Users
    Wear your curly hair anyway! Who cares about those dumb stupid boys. Theyre brainwashed just like the rest of society. You ARE beautiful and in order for u to see that, you have to be you and accept you. Your hair is beautiful as well. Dont worry about what others think. Once you get out of school, you wont see half of them anymore for the rest of your life anyway. Plus, you dont want to go bald trying to straighten your hair all te time. That causes damage. Save that for prom or a special school dance. Thatll wow everyone. Be you. You are so brave for even posting on here. I wish u all the best sweetie and trust me, you will get through this. Dont let anyone bring u down. Thats your hair girl. Rock it!
    Hair type: 3c/4a, high shrinkage :/, high density,medium porosity. ~1inch to APL stretched. Big Chopped: Oct. 2012
    Routine & Products: Sundays- DC on dry hair w/Cantu Shea Butter Leave in Conditioning Repair Cream & Olive Oil. Wash w/As I am Coconut Cowash. Condtion&detangle w/any VO5 conditoner. Braid in 5-8 braids w/Shea Moisture Smoothie.
    Wear braidout rest of week. Rebraid every night.

    MAYcowash w/VO5 conditioner mid-week and rebraid again. I always unbraid w/Coconut oil on hands.
  • lori.mattoxlori.mattox Posts: 210Registered Users
    I second what curlycita said. I'd like to also add that if you felt like your straight hair is prettier your demeanor/attitude/confidence most likely also changed. This could explain boys liking you more now with your straight hair more than with your curls. Besides, that doesn't seem like a very good plan for long term happiness to date such shallow, vain boys. People pleasing ultimately leads to an unfulfilled and unhappy person. Those people you change yourself for to gain acceptance from now most likely won't end up being your lifelong friends unless they get to know and accept you (all of you) as you are. If they don't accept you find people who do- they're really not worth your energy and sanity.

    Sent from my SCH-I200 using CurlTalk App
    3C/4A Fine texture, low porosity, low/medium density? Trying CG since Dec. 2013
    Shampoo: Curl's Creamy Curl Cleanser or clarifying shampoo when needed.
    Co-wash: Curl's coconut curlada
    Deep Condition: Experimenting in the kitchen
    oil: flaxseed and coconut for treatments
    Styler: Tresemme conditioner, alone or mixed together with aloe vera gel
    Sealer: aloe vera juice
  • MariamCFMariamCF Posts: 68Registered Users
    lol i think they like u with straight hair because u let it out ( i mean you dont put it in a pony tail) but if ur curly hair was frizzy they wont .. they just like everything soft :confused1: Anyway I DONT MEAN THAT THEY'RE RIGHT.My idea and suggestion is to stop straightening your beautiful 3b curly hair and go natural :D and btw i got 3b curly hair also! i spent a month knowing what my hair needs and likes :D and finally knew ^_^ anyway Have a nice day! :reindeer:
  • asagiasagi Posts: 194Registered Users
    No need to dislike your hair you have the kind of hair that alot of straight hair people would give their left arm for. You just need to learn proper techniques so that it looks its best and find a couple hairstyles that go with you. Find some nice products that go with you. Straightening all the time will not solve the problem and you'll end up with huge pieces of hair breaking all over the place. Could you imagine how horrifying it would be to look in the mirror one day and see bald spots? Nah straigthening everyday not the answer. Here take a look at these videos for a couple of possible hairstyles and try some of the youtubers techniques until you find something that works for you. And remember that guys are most attracted to confident girls. The more you let comments on your hair get to you the least confidence you give off.

    Wash n Go: The Wash n Go: Updated Routine - YouTube

    Finger coils : Easy : How To Finger Curl Hair Tutorial : Natural Hairstyles : Curling Twist : Curly Types : Cute - YouTube
    Natural Hair: The Coil Out - YouTube

    You can also get certain kinds of curls by braiding: How To Style Naturally Curly Hair (complete tutorial) - YouTube

    Or with twists: ★CUTE HAIRSTYLES HAIR TUTORIAL WITH TWIST-CROSSED CURLY HALF-UP UPDOS PONYTAIL FOR MEDIUM LONG HAIR - YouTube
    Twist Out On Natural Curly Hair Tutorial : Overnight Twists : Heatless Hairstyle : Protective Styles - YouTube

    This one is for beach waves : Natural Hair Tutorial - Beach Waves with No Heat, How to Grow Hair Longer - YouTube

    General styles:
    How I style my naturally curly/wavy hair, no heat. (tutorial) - YouTube
    How To : Easy Quick Cute Twist Side Natural Curly Hairstyle: Classic Chic Elegant Hair Style - YouTube
    The High Bun: Queen Bee Bun Tutorial - YouTube
    Hairstyle Ideas for Curly Hair - YouTube
    No-heat straightening: Straighten Curly Hair With NO heat At ALL. - YouTube
    Curl type: 3C/4A
    Strand thickness: Fine-Medium-Thick
    Porosity: low to medium to high (depends on where on my head)
    Density: medium - high
    Co-wash :Tresemme's Naturals Conditioner
    Moisturizer: Aunt Jackie's Girls Baby Girl Curls: Curling & Twisting Custard
    DC: Profectiv Mega Growth Anti-Breaking Strengthing DC
    PT: Hair Mayonaise/Coconut Oil
    Sealant: Jamican Black Castor oil
    Gel: Uncle Funky's Daughter Curly Magic
  • AllyCurlyAllyCurly Posts: 7Registered Users
    Thank you so much! That means a lot ♥
  • AllyCurlyAllyCurly Posts: 7Registered Users
    Omg! You are right! This is so true.
    I never ever thought that things could be like this. :)
  • AllyCurlyAllyCurly Posts: 7Registered Users
    Omg you made me cry. I'll copie ur comment and put it on my phone and look at it every day!
    This is so kind!
  • AllyCurlyAllyCurly Posts: 7Registered Users
    Thanks i'll look with pleasure :)
  • AllyCurlyAllyCurly Posts: 7Registered Users
    Hmm Sorry i meant cap not car.. :s
  • TishaParillonTishaParillon Posts: 5Registered Users
    Hey I'm new here
  • mimi772005mimi772005 Posts: 39Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Be yourself.. I used to hate my curls. And since ive been on the curly girl method. I love my hair. I really wish i knew how to care and love my curls. People should love u for who u are. Its ok to b different :-).

    Sent from my SGH-T989 using CurlTalk App
  • AllyCurlyAllyCurly Posts: 7Registered Users
    Thank you :)
  • TishaParillonTishaParillon Posts: 5Registered Users
    Has anyone ever tried the tc method?
  • lori.mattoxlori.mattox Posts: 210Registered Users
    Has anyone ever tried the tc method?

    I actually realized I was following the cg method when I was doing the tightly curly method with products I already had. I don't really do the styling suggestions from tge tc method anymore- it was too time consuming for me when just using cg-friendly products kept my hair moist and defined enough. Cg friendly products- no non water soluble silicones, or sulfates mainly. There are books and websites for both methods.

    Sent from my SCH-I200 using CurlTalk App
    3C/4A Fine texture, low porosity, low/medium density? Trying CG since Dec. 2013
    Shampoo: Curl's Creamy Curl Cleanser or clarifying shampoo when needed.
    Co-wash: Curl's coconut curlada
    Deep Condition: Experimenting in the kitchen
    oil: flaxseed and coconut for treatments
    Styler: Tresemme conditioner, alone or mixed together with aloe vera gel
    Sealer: aloe vera juice
  • TishaParillonTishaParillon Posts: 5Registered Users
    Which is better tc or cg?
  • Firefox7275Firefox7275 Posts: 3,750Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Different strokes for different folks, some even do a hybrid. The two systems are not that different IMO, conditioning is the major focus in frizz control and curl definition.
    2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

    CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
    Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
    Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
    Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
    Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
    Experimenting with: benign neglect
  • lori.mattoxlori.mattox Posts: 210Registered Users
    I agree with Firefox- especially since my starting the TC method was how I realized my routine was cg-friendly. I can't afford to get either book right now, but my ultimate plan is to get the curly girl handbook. This decision is based solely on the fact that the conditioners that are at least listed on Teri's website I just don't think would be the most compatible with my hair and her curl definition methods (doodles or smoothing each curl) like I said before seem too time consuming for me personally.
    3C/4A Fine texture, low porosity, low/medium density? Trying CG since Dec. 2013
    Shampoo: Curl's Creamy Curl Cleanser or clarifying shampoo when needed.
    Co-wash: Curl's coconut curlada
    Deep Condition: Experimenting in the kitchen
    oil: flaxseed and coconut for treatments
    Styler: Tresemme conditioner, alone or mixed together with aloe vera gel
    Sealer: aloe vera juice
  • maispiralmaispiral Posts: 2Registered Users
    Hi! I've been struggling with my hair for a while, but if you just accept it and love it, you will have curl pows :) Just love your hair!
  • JohariJohari Posts: 673Registered Users
    AllyCurly wrote: »

    Hi!!!!
    I straight my hairs for school. Because i feel more pretty, and cute.
    Before i just kept my naturals hairs.. But people found me ugly and wanted to be cool and beautiful.. And wanted people to like me..
    I have 3B CURLY SPIRALLY hairs.. It's really hard to look beautiful...
    I can't wear car, beanies or bows in my hairs.. And i'm looking a like a little girl.. I want to look like a teenager!
    A lot of guys prefer girls with straight hairs.. Now guys like me. Before they didn't..
    Idk what to do?
    Ideas? Advices? All are welcome!

    Ps: I'm 14 and french so my english isn't really good :roll:

    D'accord my French isn't so good but don't straighten your hair too much! Once in a while is OK, try braid outs

    Sent from my C5155 using CurlTalk App
  • pdxevergreenpdxevergreen Posts: 5Registered Users
    I'm so sorry to hear you don't like your hair, but I can relate! I had the same issue at your age and spent a lot of time straightening my hair. If it makes you feel better, do it....but do it for you, not boys!
    Donna
    Website Owner
    Hair-Caretips
    Donna
    Website Owner
    http://hair-caretips.com/
  • Chanel7Chanel7 Posts: 3Registered Users
    I am also ashamed of my curls, im 16 and ive been told to embrace them and accept them, its extremely hard when generally people find my 3A hair type to be unflattering and unattractive...

    As shown in my profile picture i do straighten it, almost everyday. I straighten it since its what makes me feel beautiful and i cant imagine life without my GHD straightner.

    Ive always wanted my hair to look more wavy and supermodelish. Unfortunately no matter what i do i cant achieve that, even for a day.

    Its extremely hard with curly hair, Some products that work miracles on others might do nothing for you.

    My hair is very dry and frizzy when its not straightened but when i do straighten it with a heat protecting product its glowing. If only it were natural. I dont always have the time or energy to straighten it and i normally skip school when those days arrive as im so ashamed of my natural hair.
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,280Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I don't know if you realize it but there are a ton of straight haired girls that wish it were curly. As long as you continually straighten it it will be damaged and dry.Are there any curly haired people you admire their curls?
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8bclCLgER5N_uVYSYZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
  • Imani530Imani530 Posts: 58Registered Users
    If people only like you BECAUSE OF YOUR HAIR they have some mad issues. Beside they aren't your true friends and boys are straight up DUMB in highschool so my advice to you is not to give them the time of day. P.S I am a sopmore and I did the big chop at first I regretted but now I know who the people I can trust are.
  • AngelaE8654AngelaE8654 Posts: 1,099Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    I found an awesome tutorial on YouTube that shows how to style naturally curly hair so that it looks great. I tried it this morning (forgot the "twist curl" thing in the front, which I'll do tomorow as some places on my left side need extra help) and it works!! It really, really, works and my 2C hair looks similar to the girl in the video's hair. :)

    I found it after viewing this thread so if it's already been posted, my apologies. But try this. See if you like your hair.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOwMpF2mutU&list=PL6B77FFE7CB3BF81B
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I'm definitely a "curly" 2c. Sometimes curly and sometimes just wavy upper layer with a ringlety under layer. My hair has been thick and coarse since birth. Strawberry blonde in color that can and does change depending on the type and amount of light.


    All in all, I'm happy with my hair type but almost for sure think yours is prettier. :)
  • httplivihttplivi Posts: 2Registered Users
    All hair is beautiful! You only don't like it because you're not knowing how to take care of it! There are so many techniques you can use! I love my hair now!! Lots of tips and tricks for amazing curls! You can use the "Curly Girl Method" Just look up, "Curly Penny" on YouTube! She''ll teach you so many things! It does wonders! Bonne Chance! Ne oubliez pas de rechercher "Curly Penny" sur YouTube!!
    people call me Livi \\ #nopooing \\ all natural \\ dear friends, please don't give me hair treatments with silicone or sulfate, thank you<<<
  • MevcurlsMevcurls Posts: 3Registered Users
    Girl , you should be happy you have 3b curls because I know alot of people who would love to have you curls all the way from 1's to 4's, especially me . When I entered 6th grade I hated my hair . It would always fly upwards in plait\three strand twists and wasn't thick enough for a puff or bun so I begged my mom in 7th grade to texturize my hair but instead went straight for it and relaxed my hair . I loved it for a while . All my friends who made fun of my afro were now saying how nice my hair is and asked if I was of Indian descent beacause it was long, thick and shiny . But then my hair started to thin and I wished for my hair back I remembered having 3c curls and how shiny they were in cornrows and bonded styles . I started to do straw set to get afro-ish curls and too my suprise eveyone like it and thought it was my hair so that made me decide to transition. I did this for 5 months until I got fed up with my mom nagging me to bc while my grandmom begged me to relax my hair . I was then disappointed . My loose ,big curls changed to small tight 4a curls . It wasn't my hair and I wanted to texturize . My friends at school were shocked that my hair was an afro and not curls since I had shown pics of me younger with cute curls and told me I should have just relaxed it instead. I am still natural today although I still go through I hate my hair days and wish my curls were back but I guess being relaxed for a year and 3 months changed my curl pattern. I still wish I had your hair and suffer from curl envy but let me just say GOD made you perfect in his image and you are beautiful just the way you are so don't care about what those people say they are probably jealous of your bouncy curls and boys in my country love girls with curls or relaxed hair too so I can relate but I am sure someone out there who really likes you will love your curls , maybe a boy may like you now and you don't even know it . I am 15 and am suprised that cute boys still like me with my short , afro something I thought would never happen in 9th grade .:) Also ask your parents for advice or anyone with curly hair you love . I also ask random people whose curls are similar too mine but seem healthier so it may help . Don't be shy. p.s. I didn't mean to sound mean at the beginning . I recommend also that you try to watch some youtube videos with 3b youtubers and try sites like BHI which has lots of info even if you aren't black it will help , Bobi Curls , Curlyhair.com , BGLH which has lots of info as well as style icons which can help you with you curls. Also you can use wikki how and research curly hair . You can aslo do roller sets for smmoth curls or straight hair you can find out how to do it on youtube along with other ways to get heatless styles . I hope this helps you .

    :love10::afro: Rock your curls ! Its what God gave you!
    P.S. if your not religious just replace god with your parents since you probably got your curly hair from them . :)
  • leximarcellaleximarcella Posts: 11Registered Users
    Curls are beautiful! And you have a whole community of support (:
    My Waist Length 3b Hair
    YouTube: http://youtu.be/JJB-MrmVwic
  • InessIness Posts: 1Registered Users
    Salut :), (bon on va y aller en français parce que je suis trop contente là, j'ai enfin trouvé une française sur ce site, trop fière de moi aha) x)

    J'ai un peu la même histoire que toi et j'ai ton âge (bon ok un an de plus, j'avoue), et quand j'ai lu ton message j'ai eu l'impression que c'était moi qui parlait, alors je tiens beaucoup à te répondre, ça va probablement être un roman mais bon.. :3:blob6:
    De mes 10 à mes 13 ans j'ai fait un blocage sur mes cheveux, qui sont du même type que toi (3B Curly Spirally represent). Pendant trois ans je les ai lissés quotidiennement parfois même deux ou trois fois par jour, à 220° avec un lisseur pas cher ce qui m'a au final défoncé les cheveux en profondeur. J'ai même essayé de les défriser avec une boite Franck Provost que j'avais acheté à Monop' (l'horreur totale quoi). Ca m'a niqué les cheveux pour un résultat minable, parce que sans l'aide d'une coiffeuse j'arrivais jamais à bien me les lisser.
    J'ai fait tout ça de la sixième jusqu'au début de la quatrième parce que j'étais super complexée...
    Je me prennais de ces commentaires quand je les lissais pas, et même quand les gens me disaient rien je me sentais pas bien, comme si quelque chose allait pas chez moi.
    Et puis un jour je me suis rendue compte de l'état de mes cheveux, j'avais des fourches sur genre 20cm et ils étaient tous secs, j'ai donc décidé d'arrêter de me les lisser et d'apprendre à les soigner :3 ça fait maintenant deux ans que je porte mes cheveux naturels et je me suis jamais sentie aussi bien.
    Ne t'occupe pas de ce que pensent les autres <3 Je t'assure les gens qui ne t'acceptent pas comme tu es ne valent même pas la peine que tu leur parles. T'occupes pas non plus de ces pauvres mecs du collège qui voient pas plus loin que leur bite (excuse my french lol), tfaçon ça doit pas voler très haut dans leur tête si c'est tes cheveux qui les dérangent...
    Moi avant j'arrêtais pas de me dire que j'étais trop moche, et qu'aucun mec s’intéresserait jamais à moi avec ma tête de bébé et mes cheveux de grand mère... bah laisse moi te dire que c'était faux, faux et archi faux !
    Laisse les, je sais c'est dur mais haters gonna hate. Puis tu verras qu'en grandissant les gens deviennent moins cons (en général).
    Concentre toi plutôt sur toi, prend soin de toi, maquille toi si tu veux, etc.. :)
    Après si tu veux continuer de te les lisser tant mieux, mais surtout surtout occupes-toi en bien et hydrate les et nourrit les à max (bains d'huile, deep conditionners, etc...)
    However, si tu veux essayer de les garder frisés, je te conseille d'utiliser un après shampoing après chaque lavage et de ne pas les laver plus te deux fois par semaine. Le matin pour les coiffer personnellement je les mouille vite fait avec mes doigts et je mets de l'huile pour les cheveux et un après shampoing sans rinçage, ça les nourrit et évite l'effet canniche. Niveau produits je te conseille d'investir dans un bon masque après shampoing (le Rafistoleur de Lush est un peu cher mais il est parfait), et d'éviter tous les trucs avec de l'alcool ou des sulfates dedans. Sinon tu peux aussi te faire des masques avant-shampoing maison avec de l'huile d'olive vierge et du jaune d'oeuf, tu le garde 1H30/2h puis tu laves ta crinière et tes cheveux sont tous doux après, magiiie !
    Ca m'a pris du temps pour accepter mes cheveux, et il y a encore des jours où j'aimerais tellement juste tout couper et investir dans une weave x) Mais le reste du temps je suis tellement en kif sur mes cheveux que j'en ai plus rien à foutre. :sleepy5:
    Je te jure que ça va s'arranger avec le temps <3 c'est juste un très mauvais moment à passer...
    Wish you the very best girl :)
  • bubblydreamerbubblydreamer Posts: 4Registered Users
    I have always worn my hair curly, but there have been times in my life where I have wanted to straighten it. I'm in highschool, and I love my natural hair! For me it's a beauty symbol that not very many people are rewarded with. Also, it's a cultural symbol (I'm Jewish and Italian.) Find something that makes you proud to have curls. Maybe it's just looking different. Or maybe just remind yourself everyday that different is beautiful. Pretty soon you will believe yourself. You'll be able to stand up to the haters, and rock those curls!

    P.S. Your English is way better than my French!:love2:

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