An open "letter" to

MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
Dear curly friends, and especially administrators and moderators: I have been a member here since 1999. I have learned a huge amount about my curls during these years.

This past several months, I have decided to let my hair get gray. There have been several posts about the need for a "Going Gray" forum, and those requests have not been heard. Going gray is not just about stopping using hair color; there are a great many style, fashion, product and self image issues that go with "going gray". And yes, there are on line groups for going gray, but they are not for curlies specifically, and we all know that curly hair is not the same as straight hair. That includes curly gray hair.

I posted recently about how, since I stopped coloring my roots, my hair is noticeably more healthy. I was coloring my roots only every three weeks. Now I am not. My hair is fuller, healthier, and responds well to almost any method or product I use on it. This is huge for me, and, I suspect, for other curlies who may be considering not coloring their hair. I did not realize that hair dye could make such a difference.

In the process of this post, a member made what I feel was a somewhat snarky comment about hair dye, ie, "Doesnt everyone know hair dye is bad for the hair and skin?" I responded NO. But - we DO know that silicones, polyquats, sulfates, glycerine, protein, etcetera etcetera etcetera (in the words of the King) can often be bad. Yet: HOW MANY OF US COLOR OUR HAIR? I would bet that at least every other curlie here over the age of 40 colors or highlights her hair. If I did not know that regular root touch ups were having such an impact on my hair, I'll bet others dont know as well. After all, I have been here a long time.

My point is not to call anyone out for making a comment. My point is that I am an informed consumer, but evidently not, because I have used hair color for the last 25 years of my life. And now I am not. And if I dont know about the potential harm color does to the hair, others dont know as well. IN face, the hair color industry convinces us that our hair BENEFITS from color.

And this came up in a discussion of going gray.

So I ask again: would you PLEASE have a "Going Gray" forum here? it seems a very serious oversight.


  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I dont mean to offend anyone here. I just feel that this is an important issue - going gray - and all it entails.
  • kaykrekaykre Posts: 314Registered Users
    I'm not going gray but this is an excellent idea. :mrgreen:
    2A/B. Mix of fine, medium, and coarse (mostly medium). Dense. Mix of normal and high porosity.
    Dry climate.

  • bringingcurliesback?bringingcurliesback? Posts: 1,307Registered Users
    Myrna I hope this works. I think its an important aspect and certainly would be a great addition to our little online community. There are a lot of gorgoeus curlies on here and it seems like a lovely idea. Not only that but I would also love to join eventually lol. I adore Grey/silver/white hair so much and have since a child. It needs to become less of a wow you went grey... why? And more of a wow that is gorgoeus. I.e. become a normal thing as curly hair is becoming. (:

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using CurlTalk App
    *Current Routine*
    LP: SM RSB
    CO/CW: CJ Daily Fix, GR Restorative, SM RSB, SM SFC
    DC: SM, CJ Rehab, G.Nutrafix, DIY
    LI: a CO, KCKT
    Sealers: an oil, JC N&S
    Stylers: just CO, CJ CIAB, KCCC, aloe gel, FSG
    Once in a while: ACV, Lemon-Aid

    Oils to seal, rinse, and/or pre-poo as needed :love10:

    2c/3a/3b coarse, normal porosity
    :toothy4: CG since 2007 :flower:
  • KauaiMareCurlKauaiMareCurl Posts: 317Registered Users
    Great idea Myrna!
  • SamanthascurlzSamanthascurlz Posts: 1,082Registered Users
    I agree, this would be great!

    Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App
    CG, High Porosity, Fine, Low Density, Medium Elasticity
    Suave, V05, GF Go clean gel, ACV rinses, CO, and Gelatine PT.
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Well, I and several others have asked before, and we were not heard. So please, if you think this is a necessary issue, add your voice here.
  • asagiasagi Posts: 194Registered Users
    I think this is a great idea! I really hope they do it.
    Curl type: 3C/4A
    Strand thickness: Fine-Medium-Thick
    Porosity: low to medium to high (depends on where on my head)
    Density: medium - high
    Co-wash :Tresemme's Naturals Conditioner
    Moisturizer: Aunt Jackie's Girls Baby Girl Curls: Curling & Twisting Custard
    DC: Profectiv Mega Growth Anti-Breaking Strengthing DC
    PT: Hair Mayonaise/Coconut Oil
    Sealant: Jamican Black Castor oil
    Gel: Uncle Funky's Daughter Curly Magic
  • GermanaijaGermanaija Posts: 44Registered Users
    I'm not going grey, but I agree this is a great idea. When I go grey, I certainly want to go grey with pride. My mum is starting to go grey but she dyes her hair, just like most women do (unfair how women are expected to and men aren't so much). It would be wonderful if greying women had somewhere they could get ideas and inspiration from. Every other hair type and colour does, so why not grey?

    I love grey hair, especially that silver fox type lol.
    Anyway, hope you guys get this! Looking forward to seeing a new section pop up :)

    Sent from my C6903 using CurlTalk App
  • caramix3acaramix3a Posts: 460Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Although I'm not "going grey" anytime soon, I think it's a great idea to have a separate forum for those who are. Who knows, it might encourage some of us to actually go grey when we're ready?
  • RustinaRustina Posts: 894Registered Users
    I stopped coloring in 2010, just a few months after I went CG. I think a gray forum is a terrific idea.
    Sulfate/non-water-soluble silicone free since 8/16/10
    Northern VA
    Med-coarse, normal porosity, low elasticity
    Dye-free since 11/2010

  • wavypenwavypen Posts: 253Registered Users
    I think a going grey forum is a great idea, also mods, keep in mind that not everyone going grey is over 40 and not everyone over 40 is going grey and some of us may not be comfortable posting in that forum.
  • WavyMaurWavyMaur Posts: 46Registered Users
    Excellent idea, I'm needing this information and would love a place to chat with "friends"
    2C * Normal Porosity * Medium Density * Chin Length

    Still playing with products ( using mostly Deva right now)

    Working on finding my inner curl.
  • CurlyCitaCurlyCita Posts: 152Registered Users
    Im only 20 and due to genes, i may not see gray hair for a while lol. But i believe this is a fantastic idea nonetheless. There are sooooooo many women an men out here who frown at te idea of having even a few gray hairs and are quick to dye their hair. I hope this forum builds and ppl with gray hair can come out and give their opinions and ideas. I would love to keep reading about that. Good luck :)
    Hair type: 3c/4a, high shrinkage :/, high density,medium porosity. ~1inch to APL stretched. Big Chopped: Oct. 2012
    Routine & Products: Sundays- DC on dry hair w/Cantu Shea Butter Leave in Conditioning Repair Cream & Olive Oil. Wash w/As I am Coconut Cowash. Condtion&detangle w/any VO5 conditoner. Braid in 5-8 braids w/Shea Moisture Smoothie.
    Wear braidout rest of week. Rebraid every night.

    MAYcowash w/VO5 conditioner mid-week and rebraid again. I always unbraid w/Coconut oil on hands.
  • jakrussel3jakrussel3 Posts: 423Registered Users
    I agree. Great idea. I'm kind of surprised there isn't one already. I haven't looked since I'm not at that stage yet, but I will be soon. I've got some nice, bright silvers showing up randomly in my hair. Not a lot, but a few.
    Hair Properties: 2A/2B, Medium-fine, Normal porosity, Normal elasticity, Medium density
    Low Poo: DevaCare, Yes to Cuc's
    Rinse Out: DevaCare One Condition, Yes to Cuc's
    Cowash: Suave Naturals Lavender, Yes to Carrots Scalp Conditioner
    Curl Cream: AG ReCoil, Organix Moroccan Oil Curl Cream
    Gel/Mousse: Sweet Curls Elixirs FSG w/ Mag Sulfate added, Sweet Curls Elixirs hard hold gel, DevaCurl Frizz Free Foam, Aquage Uplifting Foam
    Protein: Spiral Solutions Protein Spray for daily use
  • claudine191claudine191 Posts: 8,220Registered Users
    I don't have the nerve to let my grey show, but it's there, beneath the henna. I think Myrna raises excellent points and I would read and join in threads about the subject.
  • testimony777testimony777 Posts: 237Registered Users
    I think this is a wonderful idea!
    Hair Stats (CG since 3/31/12)
    Type: 3c/b; Density: M; Texture: F-M; Porosity: L-N

    Cleanser: DevaCurl Decadence No Poo
    Conditioner: DevaCurl Original One Condition
    Leave-in: DevaCurl B'Leave-in
    Stylers: DevaCurl Volumizing Frizz Free Foam, DevaCurl Beautiful Mess, DevaCurl Flexible Hold Hairspray
    Refresher: DevaCurl No Comb Detangling Spray
    Finisher: DevaCurl Shine Spray
  • DCWavyLadyDCWavyLady Posts: 373Registered Users
    I have a lot of grays and have resisted coloring because I've read it can dry out your hair make each hair thicker, adding volume I don't want. I don't like it and it makes me self conscious, but I don't feel like I have a choice unless I want to give up my healthy hair.:(
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,270Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I am seriously considering going gray and find I have big insecurities about it. IRL I know NO one going gray besides one person I am slightly acquainted with and it's hard to find info or gain insight from anyone on the ground. It seems a natural extension of a site dedicated to embracing the natural. I do not understand the resistance of adding a Gray Lady Board. I'm pretty sure if I do go gray I'll use just as much product. LOL.
  • scotlandroadscotlandroad Posts: 19Registered Users
    I'm not going gray but I support you and think this is a great idea :)

    Sent from my HTC One SV using CurlTalk App
    Curly type: 3A/2C/
    Co-Wash: Suave Naturals
    Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture Conditioner
    Styler: Curly Hair Solutions Curl Keeper
  • claudine191claudine191 Posts: 8,220Registered Users
    I feel like this site helps us acknowledge how great a part of our identity our hair is; I would like to see an expansion that helps us explore it.
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Exactly, Claudine, and that is why I dont think it should be buried in the "Over 40" forum.
  • JLeighsJLeighs Posts: 904Registered Users
    Myrna wrote: »
    Exactly, Claudine, and that is why I dont think it should be buried in the "Over 40" forum.

    I don't even understand the point of the "Over 40" forum, and I'm soon to be 41. I would like to see a going grey forum to replace the Over 40 forum. I have no intention of going grey at the moment, but I will eventually have to deal with it because I've sworn off chemical coloring and I won't feel comfortable rockin' my henna red at 60. :mrgreen:
    2C/3A, fine, higher porosity.
  • wavydazewavydaze Posts: 2,061Registered Users
    Myrna, I fully support more threads and even a forum on going gray.

    However, I find that most of the subforums don't get a lot of traffic, if any. Everyone seems to hang out in General, which is fine... it can be tedious to click through the subcategories. What I'm saying is, if we have a "Going Gray" subforum, it's not necessarily going to spark discussion. Or maybe for a little while... and then get off the radar. Threads in the General seem to get the most attention, so in the meantime, some Going Gray threads will be great or maybe even better than a subforum?

    Anyway, I'm interested in the topic. I have silvers coming in, but once I amass enough I'll probably dye it at least for some time... but I would like to know more about curly gray hair care in general.
    2bc/ f / ii. low porosity roots + normal-high porosity shaft where bleached. normal elasticity.

    Currently using:
    Poo: Earthbath Oatmeal & Aloe
    RO: V05 Kiwi Lime
    LI: CJ Smoothing Lotion
    Styler: UFD CM, CJ PP
    PT: CJ Repair Me

    :thumright: hydrolized protein, jelly stylers
    :angry8: guar hydroxypropyltrimonium chloride, sulfates, jojoba oil
    Neutral on cones.

    iherb discount code: CFN646
  • WeathercurlWeathercurl Posts: 228Registered Users
    The idea of going gray is very intimidating. And it shouldn't be.

    A site which promotes embracing our natural texture surely has room for a positive thread about embracing our natural color.
    2b/2c ( weather permitting - 3a), fine texture but lots of it, colored and highlights, BSL.
    Experimenting w CG since Oct 2012

    Current rotation:
    cowash= TN
    AG Gel Mousse, LA Gel,
    DT = Coconut oil (love)
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Yes, Weathercurl, I agree totally. Most of us dont even know hair dye is bad for our hair. Wavydaze, I think there are enough of us who are gray, going gray, or contemplating going gray that a forum would be well attended. After all we are all curlies, and most of us, if not all of us, will eventually also go gray!
  • WeathercurlWeathercurl Posts: 228Registered Users
    I feel that accepting and even enjoying becoming gray is the next logical step in the whole natural hair movement. Having said that, I am not yet ready to go gray and just had my color and highlights today. I feel a lot of pressure to hide the gray that's starting to appear. This isn't right. Instead of hiding it, I want to go gray with grace........someday. ;-)
    2b/2c ( weather permitting - 3a), fine texture but lots of it, colored and highlights, BSL.
    Experimenting w CG since Oct 2012

    Current rotation:
    cowash= TN
    AG Gel Mousse, LA Gel,
    DT = Coconut oil (love)
  • AlexaAlexa Posts: 208Registered Users
    The idea of going grey is very intimidating. And it shouldn't be.

    A site which promotes embracing our natural texture surely has room for a positive thread about embracing our natural color.

    Although I'm not quite ready to embrace my own grey I totally agree with this.
    U.K curly

    3A Curly Twirly.
    Golden brown (coloured to cover grey).
    Low poo: Dr Organic, L'Oreal Everpure.
    Conditioner: Dr Organic Argan Oil.
    Leave In: Aussie, Curl Harmony.
    Gel: Curl Keeper Original, Umberto Gianni.
  • greencup13greencup13 Posts: 596Registered Users
    I'm 25 and fully support your request! I have gray hairs at my young age and would love to read about it. While I am highlighting my hair because I'm too young for gray hair, I would love to be educated for later in life. I noticed the gray hairs I do have are more coarse. I wonder how this will effect me.
    3A 3B mix
    Colored treated
    Combo Low and High porosity
    Medium coarse texture

    Goosefootprints hair analysis
    Co-wash- As I Am Co-wash
    LI- As I Am leave in,
    Style- la looks sport gel
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Greencup: the fact that you are 25 is an argument against putting a gray thread into the "Over 40" forum. Thank you for your comment.
  • WeathercurlWeathercurl Posts: 228Registered Users
    Again, totally agree with Myrna. Besides, when you are moving into middle age, gray hair is loaded with huge emotional baggage. One problem at a time, please - it will be easier to address it simply as hair without lumping it with aging. (Yes, I am currently in denial - don't judge.) And as others have pointed out, gray hair isn't limited to only older women. My grandmother went gray at 20. She had a complete head of snow white hair by her mid 20's.
    2b/2c ( weather permitting - 3a), fine texture but lots of it, colored and highlights, BSL.
    Experimenting w CG since Oct 2012

    Current rotation:
    cowash= TN
    AG Gel Mousse, LA Gel,
    DT = Coconut oil (love)