Breaking social norms

bobby

I don't know how the rest of you feel maybe the best thing I like about having curly hair is breaking social norms. Whether it's real or imagined, I get the perception from some (particularly women) that have curly hair that straightening is better in part to fit the norm. As a guy, I fell into that the line of thinking, "I'm a guy, no long hair on guys" so wore it short, even buzz cut for years until one day the light went on and saw other guys my age losing their hair. That's where I took the approach of "grow it out while I got it."

Whether straight is in or curly is in based on societal norms, I see and hear conflicting things. That can depend on who one talks to. That said, whether through media or what, people have a profile that they want people to fit.

As a guy, I see it as, "I'm a guy with a head of curls. I sometimes even wear accessories like my purple pick or headband. How's that any different that women (present company in these forums excluded) wearing short spiky hair."

Interested in hearing your thoughts ....

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I'm all for breaking social norms,(not particularly on purpose but if I like something outside the norm than so be it). I've never really been the type afraid to standout, although I dislike large amounts of attention. But I will never change something I like BECAUSE it makes me stand out. Wether it be holding my girlfriends hand in public, or simply wearing my hair in a style that I like that isn't seen as trendy, I am still going to wear/do what I please.

In the hair world for example; if someone wants to straighten,relax,perm their hair, I could care less. They should do what makes them happy and what they feel comfortable doing.
I do not going around suggesting women should wear their hair natural because It really isn't much different than people telling others that they should/need to relax/straighten their hair.

I think everyone should be free to be themselves , and live how they please.
No one should feel pressured to convert to social norms because of fear of the reactions they will get because they are different.
But unfortunately the world we live in far from perfect and social norms are forced upon people everyday.

Samanthascurlz

[email protected] wrote: »

I'm all for breaking social norms,(not particularly on purpose but if I like something outside the norm than so be it). I've never really been the type afraid to standout, although I dislike large amounts of attention. But I will never change something I like BECAUSE it makes me stand out. Wether it be holding my girlfriends hand in public, or simply wearing my hair in a style that I like that isn't seen as trendy, I am still going to wear/do what I please.

In the hair world for example; if someone wants to straighten,relax,perm their hair, I could care less. They should do what makes them happy and what they feel comfortable doing.
I do not going around suggesting women should wear their hair natural because It really isn't much different than people telling others that they should/need to relax/straighten their hair.

I think everyone should be free to be themselves , and live how they please.
No one should feel pressured to convert to social norms because of fear of the reactions they will get because they are different.
But unfortunately the world we live in far from perfect and social norms are forced upon people everyday.

I think that that is a key point you make. I have done that before and then I realized I was doing the same thing that society tends to do about straightening hair. I end up doing the same thing, but in opposite context. Excellent point!

Samanthascurlz

I am starting to let go of the whole trying to persuade people to go natural. I don't want to force anyone to do things they don't want to do. However, I don't like the idea of curly hair needing to be fixed. It isn't needing to be fixed, it is societies projecting images that do. Also, I don't like the idea of afro's being seen as 'nappy' or once again needing to be fixed. I think those thinking patterns should be changed regardless if you are curly or not.

Other than that, I am so proud to be curly. When I do my hair now, even on bad hair days, I don't ever regret myself throwing my straightener away a year and a half ago. I am so happy that I made that decision. It's funny because I find the way one looks at their hair is all about perception. I use to see my hair as a big mistake, almost a curse. Now, I look at it and am so thankful for all the curves and angles it has. To think I once thought my hair was a curse is unbelievable. This all stems from my perception. My schema of curly hair was extremely negative, which then stemmed to hating myself and what I was born with. Now, I don't need to lie to myself anymore, what I see in the mirror is who I am. It is so liberating on a personal level.

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Do not get me wrong I do not want to sound harsh. I know what It feels like to discover something great about yourself and embrace your curls and wanting to share it with the world.I think it is normal to be joyous after defeating the negativity that many have had with their hair since a young age.
Many men and women feel so enlightened and have a sense of inner peace that they want others to experience. But in that joyous self-celebratory state we often forget that what is best for us isn't best for everyone.
I am happy you accept your curls now(:

bobby

[email protected] wrote: »

Do not get me wrong I do not want to sound harsh. I know what It feels like to discover something great about yourself and embrace your curls and wanting to share it with the world.I think it is normal to be joyous after defeating the negativity that many have had with their hair since a young age.
Many men and women feel so enlightened and have a sense of inner peace that they want others to experience. But in that joyous self-celebratory state we often forget that what is best for us isn't best for everyone.
I am happy you accept your curls now(:

I also think that you reach a certain point in your life where you a) are no longer worried about peer pressure and b) just simply don't care what others think. When I was 14, I had my hair grown out with a full head of waves and curls. I got a lot of compliments but the ones that seemed to resonate most were, "you look like a girl." It was hard to convince me otherwise. Now at 41, I could care less what the cynics say. I'm married with three kids. I don't have to fit any norm. I'll wear my purple pick if I want or hey, get my perm rod set.

bobby

Samanthascurlz wrote: »

I am starting to let go of the whole trying to persuade people to go natural. I don't want to force anyone to do things they don't want to do. However, I don't like the idea of curly hair needing to be fixed. It isn't needing to be fixed, it is societies projecting images that do. Also, I don't like the idea of afro's being seen as 'nappy' or once again needing to be fixed. I think those thinking patterns should be changed regardless if you are curly or not.

Other than that, I am so proud to be curly. When I do my hair now, even on bad hair days, I don't ever regret myself throwing my straightener away a year and a half ago. I am so happy that I made that decision. It's funny because I find the way one looks at their hair is all about perception. I use to see my hair as a big mistake, almost a curse. Now, I look at it and am so thankful for all the curves and angles it has. To think I once thought my hair was a curse is unbelievable. This all stems from my perception. My schema of curly hair was extremely negative, which then stemmed to hating myself and what I was born with. Now, I don't need to lie to myself anymore, what I see in the mirror is who I am. It is so liberating on a personal level.

And for the same reason, I'm not about to start a "guys, embrace your curls" crusade. You can't force somebody into something they are not on board with.

[email protected]

Agreed(: Wonderful points you both make.