CG not working, what am I doing wrong?

StraightmamaStraightmama Posts: 6Registered Users
I have super-straight, thin hair.

My 4.5 year old has (I think) 3A, high density, possibly low porosity hair. I got the Curly Girl Handbook & brought it shopping with me. I got shampoo & conditioner that met the requirements in the book, a terry cloth towel, and a satin sleep cap and I threw out her comb. I use the cleanser once, sometimes twice, a week. I get her hair wet every other day and put in leave in conditioner. I also mixed leave in conditioner with distilled water and spray that into her hair every morning.

Her hair is still near dread lock snarly all the time. I try to work my fingers through it while it is wet with either leave in conditioner or Kinky Curly Knot Today & she cries & screams the whole time. It breaks my heart!

What am I doing wrong? What products should I get? DevaCurl products? Should I try a deep conditioning treatment?

Any help is appreciated. Thanks!


  • wheretostartwheretostart Posts: 244Registered Users
    What products are you using right now?
    3A/2C fine, normal porosity & elasticity, medium high density

    Current products:
    YTCucs Color Protection Low poo
    GVP Conditioning Balm
    Random gels - not sure which ones I like, if any at this point!

    HG Summer Routine:
    poo - TMW Hydrate
    RO & LI - Darcy's Pumpkin Seed
    Leave in Products: CHSCK & LALMG
    PT - CJ RM
    DT - EVCO

    Currently trying to figure out a winter routine and transition to a less harsh "poo" for summer.
  • StraightmamaStraightmama Posts: 6Registered Users
    Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Shine Shampoo and Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner. The leave-in I mixed with water is Garnier Frutis Sleek & Shine Intensely Smooth Leave-In Conditioning Cream (I bought it before I read CG, so I don't know about its ingredients). Also the Kinky Curly Knot Today occasionally.
  • BluebloodBlueblood Posts: 1,748Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    You know you can use a wide tooth comb on her hair when it's damp?

    Also whether you finger comb or use a comb, start from the ends and work towards the roots.

    You should also put her hair in sections and do one section at a time.
  • StraightmamaStraightmama Posts: 6Registered Users
    I used to use a wide tooth comb, but I thought CG said it's better to just use fingers?

    I do work my fingers through from the ends up, a section at a time. Her hair is super thick so it takes forever and she is crying & asking me to stop the majority of the time.

    I just don't know what else to do.
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,136Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    CG allows combs to be used. Usually really fine or really kinky types benefit from finger detangling only. I don't think that Garnier product is CG, so I would stop using it. Do one last sulfate shampoo and start over.

    I could be wrong, but the constant snarling may be because her hair needs more protein. Maybe try using the KCKT as both the rinse out and leave I'm for a week or two and see how it goes. Use the Shea moisture as a deep conditioner once a month or every two weeks.

    Do you braid or bun her hair before bed?

    Sent from my HTCEVOV4G using CurlTalk App
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,136Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Also, try to do wash day when you have lots of time. Sit her in front of her favorite movie or cartoon to distract her.

    Sent from my HTCEVOV4G using CurlTalk App
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • BluebloodBlueblood Posts: 1,748Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    When you are trying to follow a method and it isn't working it doesn't mean your at fault.

    Some people have hair that is more prone to tangling and forming locs naturally so they need to ensure their hair hair isn't tangled and detangle regularly.
  • StraightmamaStraightmama Posts: 6Registered Users
    Dumb question: how do I deep condition her hair? Load the conditioner on then let it sit in a shower cap for a while?

    I don't braid or pineapple at bedtime - just the satin sleep cap. As you can imagine, she doesn't like me to touch her hair. I may be able to talk her into pineappling though.
  • StraightmamaStraightmama Posts: 6Registered Users
  • yakottayakotta Posts: 41Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Dumb question: how do I deep condition her hair? Load the conditioner on then let it sit in a shower cap for a while?

    That's basically what I do--get the hair wet with warm water, add your product, and wait an hour or so. You can also look into using honey as a deep treatment, either in lieu of a product or mixed into a product. My hair loves honey, and if you put it into wet hair and rinse it out all the way you don't end up with a sticky mess like you might think.

    Combs are fine, as long as you use something with wide teeth and detangle while the hair is wet and has conditioner in it. The more slippery the texture of the conditioner when its in her hair, the less it will hurt her. Depending on how long it takes to comb her hair and how quickly it dries, you might want to keep a spray bottle or something on hand while you're combing it. That way you can get her hair wet again to make detangling easier. I used to scream my head off when my mom tried to drag a brush through my hair, and when I realized I could detangle all by myself in the shower without ripping chunks out of my head I was a much, much happier kid.
  • Firefox7275Firefox7275 Posts: 3,750Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Several of the products you have chosen contain ingredients that are poor on slip and/ or prone to building up - especially butters and waxes including cetyl esters. You should not just load the hair with these without washing frequently.

    A true conditioner (wash out or leave in) is rich in the major emollients (cationic surfactants and fatty alcohols), ie. these are rich at the top of the ingredients after water. The behentrimoniums plus natural oils are particularly good for slip as are some of the film formers in KC Knot Today ... but not necessarily when layered over other lower slip ingredients that have been allowed to dry onto the hair.

    IMO clarify and start over, detangle in small sections with a lot of patience when hair is laden with a true conditioner known for slip. Stop overloading low porosity hair with so many heavy/ rich products, instead work with your daughters hair properties. Consider washing more frequently, twice a week consistently in order to keep tangles under control.
    2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

    CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
    Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
    Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
    Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
    Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
    Experimenting with: benign neglect
  • NelekeNeleke Posts: 456Registered Users
    Please Firefox, correct me if I'm wrong (you always seem to know things way better than me when it comes to ingredients and so on, I still suck at that, even after 8 months).

    I think (or at least that's what it is doing to my hair) Yes to Cucumbers conditioner provides great slip... So you might try that one.
    2c: fine texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity, normal-high density
    CG since March 8th 2013
    Low Poo: Rainforest Radiance shampoo
    Conditioner: Yes to Cucumbers
    Styler: BRHG, Garnier Fructis Gel
    PT: Gliss Kur Repair & Volume get a 5$ discount on orders under 40$ or a 10$ discount on orders over 40$ when you order for your first order by using the following discount code: CFH441
  • StraightmamaStraightmama Posts: 6Registered Users
    Thanks so much for all your help!

    I was looking into Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Smoothing Lotion yesterday. After reading Firefox's response I checked the ingredients & it seems to be a good one.

    After one last shampooing, should I use this conditioner to wash her hair as well - and not use shampoo for a while? So, I'm thinking rub this into her scalp, rinse out, put more in as a leave in and, if still tangled, work through some Kinky Curly Knot Today. How does that sound?
  • MariamCFMariamCF Posts: 68Registered Users
    it sounds good .. But yes i think u should use shampoo only like once or twice a month :D I think that if u did what u said all things would be good :)
  • asagiasagi Posts: 194Registered Users
    I used to scream the town down when my mother combed my hair lol. I had a sensitive scalp so any pulling resulted in tears. Perhaps she has one too.To avoid her feeling the pull of the hair hold it near the scalp first before you start to comb. Make sure to hold securely so she doesn't feel it at all. When you finish add a little bit of oil to smooth down the section and lock in the moisture and immediately braid it so it doesn't get tangled again. Let it dry like that.Then you'll have nice detangled hair when you unbraid. If her hair is prone to locking then it might be best to detangle and braid it before bed. It might take a little while in the beginning but eventually you'll be doing it so fast you'll wonder why you hesitated and it'll save you and her a lot of time and tears in the future.
    Curl type: 3C/4A
    Strand thickness: Fine-Medium-Thick
    Porosity: low to medium to high (depends on where on my head)
    Density: medium - high
    Co-wash :Tresemme's Naturals Conditioner
    Moisturizer: Aunt Jackie's Girls Baby Girl Curls: Curling & Twisting Custard
    DC: Profectiv Mega Growth Anti-Breaking Strengthing DC
    PT: Hair Mayonaise/Coconut Oil
    Sealant: Jamican Black Castor oil
    Gel: Uncle Funky's Daughter Curly Magic

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