Would this bother you?

DoodlesDoodles Posts: 1,984Registered Users
So I just got an e-mail from my Dad, and he wanted to offer some words of wisdom in regards to my husband having some problems with people at work. Since neither myself nor my husband have mentioned anything to him, I can only assume my MIL mentioned it or (since I think my husband has discussed it a little over the phone with her) my FIL since it might have been briefly mentioned to him in an e-mail. See, ever since my Dad got a computer a couple Christmas's ago, he's been in constant touch with my in-laws via e-mail and this is not the first time that something has been said between the families about myself or my husband. For instance, one Friday I had a nice, long phone conversation with my Mom. A few days later when my FIL and his girlfriend came for a visit, he had mentioned it saying "Your Dad tells me you had a nice conversation with your mom the other day". Not that me calling her was a big secret or anything but why the hell should my FIL know I talked to her? It bothers me. I don't like the feeling of being talked about behind my back, kwim? What would you do?
2A/2B, fine, normal porosity

Growing out a pixie as of November 2013 :elephant:

Shampoo: Elucence MBS & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
Conditioner: Elucence MBC & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
Leave-in: CJ BeautiCurls
Stylers: BA gel & AG Re:coil

Product Junkie that keeps falling off the wagon!:tongue3:

Comments

  • GuardianBGuardianB Posts: 1,905Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'd talk to both sets of parents and explain that conversations held between you are between you. I think most people would find it beneficial that the in-laws are close enough and open enough to stay in contact and be interested in the Family as One. I think you have something special here. While I can understand your frustration as well think about what you could really have here. This is an opportunity and you SHOULD impliment expectations, you should also not discourage their contact.
    ~Two friends, one soul inspired~ anonymous
  • slinky1slinky1 Banned Posts: 1,612Banned Users
    I just can't get over that your parents speak with your inlaws...and not just when they are in the same room. That's just so incredibly shocking.

    I can't even imagine my mom's parents contacting my dad's or vice versa...and to talk about what may be going on with one of them? So strange...but nice in a way. But, your family is definitely overstepping some boundaries and should be put in their place.

    Sorry, I'm rambling...
    ;)
  • KateRobertsKateRoberts Posts: 286Registered Users
    No, I would think this is a good thing that both sets of in-laws are friendly towards each other.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    No, I would think this is a good thing that both sets of in-laws are friendly towards each other.

    This would be my reaction too.
  • ChakraChakra Posts: 172Registered Users
    No it wouldn't bother me. Family will talk about you whether you like it or not. As long as they are not being distructive or mean...I say let it go.

    If you tell them not to they probably will do it anyway but keep it from you. I don't think you can control this sort of thing. I would be thankful that everyone gets along well enough to keep in touch.

    There are bigger things in the world to get upset about. :D
  • DoodlesDoodles Posts: 1,984Registered Users
    Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they get along so well. My FIL has even gone over to my parents house a couple times to help my Dad with some computer issues. I guess I could mention something to my Mom next time we talk and have DH mention it to his parents as well. Just not sure how to broach the subject...
    2A/2B, fine, normal porosity

    Growing out a pixie as of November 2013 :elephant:

    Shampoo: Elucence MBS & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Conditioner: Elucence MBC & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Leave-in: CJ BeautiCurls
    Stylers: BA gel & AG Re:coil

    Product Junkie that keeps falling off the wagon!:tongue3:
  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    This happens to me all the time. Sometimes it is annoying but try not to let it bother you, seems like FIL is only trying to be helpful because he cares about you and your husband.
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    It would bother me a bit, especially since it got to the point that your dad is offering unsolicited advice on a subject that was never discussed with him. I don't know what I would do about it though. I'm terrible at approaching this type of thing.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • ChakraChakra Posts: 172Registered Users
    Doodles wrote:
    Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they get along so well. My FIL has even gone over to my parents house a couple times to help my Dad with some computer issues. I guess I could mention something to my Mom next time we talk and have DH mention it to his parents as well. Just not sure how to broach the subject...

    I would bet that if you talk to your mother and your husband talks to his parents...

    the next thing you know.....everyone will be saying

    "why doesn't Doodle and DH want them talking about them, what are they hiding, somethings wrong, why are they offended, it must be bad" ??????

    :lol:
  • DoodlesDoodles Posts: 1,984Registered Users
    lol Chakra, the paranoid part of me agrees with that kind of logic ;)
    2A/2B, fine, normal porosity

    Growing out a pixie as of November 2013 :elephant:

    Shampoo: Elucence MBS & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Conditioner: Elucence MBC & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Leave-in: CJ BeautiCurls
    Stylers: BA gel & AG Re:coil

    Product Junkie that keeps falling off the wagon!:tongue3:
  • GuardianBGuardianB Posts: 1,905Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Does it bother your husband?
    ~Two friends, one soul inspired~ anonymous
  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    No, I would think this is a good thing that both sets of in-laws are friendly towards each other.

    I think it's great they're friendly, too, but I wouldn't appreciate my relationship, my husband and me being the topic of every single conversation. That would annoy me a little.

    My folks' parents grew up together so to me it's weird when in-laws aren't friendly. Shoot, my mom and my MIL chat on the phone now and then, and they live 1000 miles apart! They only know each other through my husband and me, and only see each other maybe twice a year...but they're buddies, which is cool.
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Rock on with your bad self.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
  • DoodlesDoodles Posts: 1,984Registered Users
    Yeah, it doesn't bother him. It's funny, I passed along my Dad's advice and he's like "what does that mean?" So he meant well but obviously doesn't have the whole story :lol:
    2A/2B, fine, normal porosity

    Growing out a pixie as of November 2013 :elephant:

    Shampoo: Elucence MBS & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Conditioner: Elucence MBC & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Leave-in: CJ BeautiCurls
    Stylers: BA gel & AG Re:coil

    Product Junkie that keeps falling off the wagon!:tongue3:
  • ChakraChakra Posts: 172Registered Users
    It could be that they are just making small talk with each other and you two are the main thing they have in common.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    I grew up in a big, tight-knit family, so it's always been a given that, unless a subject is very private/sensitive or a specific request is made to not share something, everyone knows everything about everyone else. This doesn't seem like a particularly private matter, so I personally would not sweat it, and I agree that saying something about it will only cause more speculation and talking.

    I too think it's great that your in laws and parents are that close, that your in laws are that concerned for your well-being and that your parents didn't get offended that they weren't told first.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


    .png


    534Pm5.png





  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Sometimes it is annoying but try not to let it bother you, seems like FIL is only trying to be helpful because he cares about you and your husband.

    Yea I agree, but I'm used to big close knit families who talk a lot. Once I was babysitting and I lost my neighbors cat for 10 minutes. I called my mom since I was freaking out and she told my aunt in Va who she was talking to. A week later my cousin in Houston asks me if I found the cat.
  • ChakraChakra Posts: 172Registered Users
    Josephine wrote:
    Sometimes it is annoying but try not to let it bother you, seems like FIL is only trying to be helpful because he cares about you and your husband.

    Yea I agree, but I'm used to big close knit families who talk a lot. Once I was babysitting and I lost my neighbors cat for 10 minutes. I called my mom since I was freaking out and she told my aunt in Va who she was talking to. A week later my cousin in Houston asks me if I found the cat.

    :lol: :lol: soooo funny!!! This is just like my family.
  • GuardianBGuardianB Posts: 1,905Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Doodles wrote:
    Yeah, it doesn't bother him. It's funny, I passed along my Dad's advice and he's like "what does that mean?" So he meant well but obviously doesn't have the whole story :lol:

    I'd offer up a complimentary comment to the parental levels. Something to the effect of it being great that everyone gets along so well but you feel a little wierd at how lucky you are with 2 stereotypically rival houses getting along so well. You aren't sure how to handle it and if you are fully comfortable with it.

    Yes it kind of puts it on you but it also gives them something to think about when they are talking that they maybe they don't want or need to divulge little tidbits of info concerning you and your hubby as it may become too personal or invading. After all, it is you they are caring about and interested in helping.
    ~Two friends, one soul inspired~ anonymous
  • DoodlesDoodles Posts: 1,984Registered Users
    Thanks to everyone offering their helpful, insightful advice. :)
    2A/2B, fine, normal porosity

    Growing out a pixie as of November 2013 :elephant:

    Shampoo: Elucence MBS & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Conditioner: Elucence MBC & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
    Leave-in: CJ BeautiCurls
    Stylers: BA gel & AG Re:coil

    Product Junkie that keeps falling off the wagon!:tongue3:

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file