CurlTalk

"Mixed kids are always so beautiful"

spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
A friend of mine posted this article on FB. (The friend happens to be White, so I was impressed by the fact she got it enough to feel it was worth posting.) Just food for thought. Somethingh I think ppl should read and understand/accept.

But then one of my frien's friends commented and, with the best of intentions, basically poured out a big, corny, condescending, passively racist summary of some of the things the article's author was compaining about. LOL

Just thought it was a good piece to share.

Comments

  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    I kind of don't see the point of this. Probably because this is not new to me. I know I shouldn't be judgmental but I secretly roll my eyes at people who don't get it and find these articles informative. But I understand most Americans are not exposed to these issues. I can't help it, I'm so over it. I've had so many discussions about identity issues being a first generation American and bla bla, so tired of talking about these things. I know i sound like cranky old lady.

    ETA - I know this article is about mixed race but it can apply to mixed cultured kids too.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Josephine wrote: »
    I kind of don't see the point of this. Probably because this is not new to me. I know I shouldn't be judgmental but I secretly roll my eyes at people who don't get it and find these articles informative. But I understand most Americans are not exposed to these issues. I can't help it, I'm so over it. I've had so many discussions about identity issues being a first generation American and bla bla, so tired of talking about these things. I know i sound like cranky old lady.

    ETA - I know this article is about mixed race but it can apply to mixed cultured kids too.

    OK, Maxine...errr...Josephine...

    maxine-cartoon.jpg

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Josephine wrote: »
    I kind of don't see the point of this. Probably because this is not new to me. I know I shouldn't be judgmental but I secretly roll my eyes at people who don't get it and find these articles informative. But I understand most Americans are not exposed to these issues. I can't help it, I'm so over it. I've had so many discussions about identity issues being a first generation American and bla bla, so tired of talking about these things. I know i sound like cranky old lady.

    ETA - I know this article is about mixed race but it can apply to mixed cultured kids too.

    Have you found ppl in other countries to be more enlightened about these issues? (I haven't...but am probably referring to ppl in countries different from the ones you're referring to.)

  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Josephine wrote: »
    I kind of don't see the point of this. Probably because this is not new to me. I know I shouldn't be judgmental but I secretly roll my eyes at people who don't get it and find these articles informative. But I understand most Americans are not exposed to these issues. I can't help it, I'm so over it. I've had so many discussions about identity issues being a first generation American and bla bla, so tired of talking about these things. I know i sound like cranky old lady.

    ETA - I know this article is about mixed race but it can apply to mixed cultured kids too.

    Have you found ppl in other countries to be more enlightened about these issues? (I haven't...but am probably referring to ppl in countries different from the ones you're referring to.)

    I don't know, I've never been in any one country with locals long enough to know. But I doubt it.
  • claudine191claudine191 Posts: 8,220Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Why do people comment on personal things that are none of their business? How is this more acceptable than saying, "Why are you/they fat?"
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Why do people comment on personal things that are none of their business? How is this more acceptable than saying, "Why are you/they fat?"

    ? People always want to know your ethnic makeup. I'm not offended by it at all. I used to get annoyed when I was younger, but as I said, I'm over it. It's natural to be curious. I'm like that myself. But I don't always ask.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Why do people comment on personal things that are none of their business? How is this more acceptable than saying, "Why are you/they fat?"

    I was mortified when I learned my 8 yr old did it two days ago...to another little girl, asking if she was adotpted...race-related.

    And my son did it a couple of yrs ago about someone being fat.

    Long talks. Loooooooong talks.

  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Why do people comment on personal things that are none of their business? How is this more acceptable than saying, "Why are you/they fat?"

    I was mortified when I learned my 8 yr old did it two days ago...to another little girl, asking if she was adotpted...race-related.

    And my son did it a couple of yrs ago about someone being fat.

    Long talks. Loooooooong talks.

    LOL @ kids. My coworkers 5 year old is in daycare. One day she came home and told her that she and daddy are chocolate(or something similar?) and mommy and sister are caramel. She was shocked.
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    Yeah, kids and cultural sensitivity is a whole 'nother topic lol.

    My eight year old's class has posted their "all about me" projects on class bulletin board. His BFF's paper says "My best friend is Karan (my son) and he is brown". And Karan's paper says "My best friend is Liam and he looks like Frodo Baggins".
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Josephine wrote: »
    Why do people comment on personal things that are none of their business? How is this more acceptable than saying, "Why are you/they fat?"

    I was mortified when I learned my 8 yr old did it two days ago...to another little girl, asking if she was adotpted...race-related.

    And my son did it a couple of yrs ago about someone being fat.

    Long talks. Loooooooong talks.

    LOL @ kids. My coworkers 5 year old is in daycare. One day she came home and told her that she and daddy are chocolate(or something similar?) and mommy and sister are caramel. She was shocked.

    The mother was shocked bc the child realized this on her own or was shocked bc she thinks a teacher pointed the different colors out to the child, trying to start ****?

  • LoveLongCurlsLoveLongCurls Posts: 53Registered Users
    I'm mixed and I'm black, cherokee, english, irish, scottish, mexican, spanish, german and I do have some native american in me along with 1 other I always forget.. lol.. I don't find it particularly offensive if someone asks what I am or anything... My black features get pointed out more often (my curly hair used to be frizzy and poofy like 4 type hair) but I usually get told that I look mexican simply because of my skin color.. Most ppl never assume that I'm mixed so maybe it's just odd of me to take it as a sort of.. well.. "compliment" for lack of a better term, that it's noticed that I am mixed.

    I live in Sacramento in CA and most of my area is filled with Asians followed by Mexicans and then African Americans.. You always run into those 2 or 3 ppl that are black and white but that's really it.. I'm used to Asians being considered more beautiful or attractive than most groups and as such I use a different sort of scale to determine each individual's beauty because different things from each culture makes one attractive. For example, an Asian girl's skin can appear smooth and soft like porcelain and their hair can be long and dark. A mexican girl can have great curls or a great face or nice lips..

    I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't let little things like that get to me because right now that is just the society we live in.. It may not always be right but in the future mixed ppl will be such a norm that I try to take advantage of the fact that right now it's more unique and I am going to carry who I am with pride :) Kids and adults now might not quite understand how to treat the idea of "mixed"/multiracial individuals when they speak but I think it's just us still trying to adapt and adjust :) But I can understand how in other less multi-cultural areas ppl can be a bit more.. ignorant or unaware of their word choice..
    3B, Thick, High Porosity, High Density
    Length: Waist Length curly
    Goal: Hip length curly/Classic length straight
    Beginning of hair journey: Sept. 27th, 2012 :)

    Shampoo: Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Shampoo
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  • OBBOBB Posts: 4,174Registered Users
    i dated several lai(Asian-American) when i was in HS. i dont know why but i was attracted to them more so than regular Asian girls.

    this reminds me that my daughter is considered mixed - half Kinh(Viet) and half K-ho(native).
  • ZinniaZinnia Posts: 7,339Registered Users
    I am not sure what you meant by frizzy and poofy 4a hair because any type of hair can be frizzy and poofy at any given time.
    My black features get pointed out more often (my curly hair used to be frizzy and poofy like 4 type hair)...
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • Always@nightAlways@night Posts: 566Registered Users
    This is how my fiancé feels sometimes. Since he is half vietnamese, 1/4th black, and 1/4th dominican, people often ask him "what he is?" Which I think is very rude in itself. He gets asked "what are you?", on a daily basis and often gets annoyed. He's told me he was often singled out growing up in an african american neighborhood. I think people don't realize how rude their comments and questions come across, and that they pass it off as simple curiosity. I often too get asked if "I am mixed?" (Mostly by other black people because of my hair), I try not to let it bother me, but it can get annoying because some people are extremely ignorant at the diversity of their own race. With comments like "you can't be really black with hair like that" or you aren't black enough" you must be mixed because black people..etc". Ignorance at it's finest. We are both proud of who we are and what we are, and wouldn't change it for anything.
    Unfortunately not everyone feels this way because of the teasing that does go on especially in schools.
  • Fifi.GFifi.G Posts: 15,490Registered Users
    Oh kids. :) All honesty and no filter.

    I know I have heard this topic discussed before and every time I have stopped to think if I have ever asked someone this. I have not. I do remember when my friends family moved to my town from Laos in 4th grade. We were told where he was from, I am assuming so we wouldn't ask 200 times. We were so excited to meet someone from a different place. Instead of questions about physical features, we overloaded him with questions about his country, what foods he had tried, movies, etc. I think we all brought him lunch for a good 2 months (you feed people in the South. He wasn't fond of Bologna). I'm sure we were a bit much, but we were very curious, and happy to have him at our school.

    I can say that I have other people ask me what someones ethnicity may be, as opposed to asking them. Are they Cherokee or Mexican? Cherokee, why? And I have had several people ask me about my European background. Some study bone structures, and are interested.
    When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,132Registered Users
    Zinnia wrote: »
    I am not sure what you meant by frizzy and poofy 4a hair because any type of hair can be frizzy and poofy at any given time.
    My black features get pointed out more often (my curly hair used to be frizzy and poofy like 4 type hair)...

    I think she meant that unlike other hair types, some 4 type hair can appear naturally frizzy and poofy even when healthy. Hence, 4b and 4c not appearing to have a visible curl pattern. It's not an insult. I've seen plenty of people with this hair type.

    Sent from my HTCEVOV4G using CurlTalk App
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Josephine wrote: »

    I was mortified when I learned my 8 yr old did it two days ago...to another little girl, asking if she was adotpted...race-related.

    And my son did it a couple of yrs ago about someone being fat.

    Long talks. Loooooooong talks.

    LOL @ kids. My coworkers 5 year old is in daycare. One day she came home and told her that she and daddy are chocolate(or something similar?) and mommy and sister are caramel. She was shocked.

    The mother was shocked bc the child realized this on her own or was shocked bc she thinks a teacher pointed the different colors out to the child, trying to start ****?

    I'm assuming she learned it from another kid/s from daycare. She's also learned some new language there that the mom isn't too fond of. I doubt the teacher had anything to do with it.
  • LoveLongCurlsLoveLongCurls Posts: 53Registered Users
    Zinnia wrote: »
    I am not sure what you meant by frizzy and poofy 4a hair because any type of hair can be frizzy and poofy at any given time.
    My black features get pointed out more often (my curly hair used to be frizzy and poofy like 4 type hair)...

    Sorry bad word choice. My family used to roughly comb out all my curls so they'd end up in these coils and have frizz but the coils were what made it look more similar to 4 type hair :)
    3B, Thick, High Porosity, High Density
    Length: Waist Length curly
    Goal: Hip length curly/Classic length straight
    Beginning of hair journey: Sept. 27th, 2012 :)

    Shampoo: Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Shampoo
    Conditioner: Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Conditioner
    Co-Wash: As I Am Coconut Cowash
  • LoveLongCurlsLoveLongCurls Posts: 53Registered Users
    Zinnia wrote: »
    I am not sure what you meant by frizzy and poofy 4a hair because any type of hair can be frizzy and poofy at any given time.
    My black features get pointed out more often (my curly hair used to be frizzy and poofy like 4 type hair)...

    I think she meant that unlike other hair types, some 4 type hair can appear naturally frizzy and poofy even when healthy. Hence, 4b and 4c not appearing to have a visible curl pattern. It's not an insult. I've seen plenty of people with this hair type.

    Sent from my HTCEVOV4G using CurlTalk App

    Yea that's what I meant thanks for helping to clear it up. I don't mean to offend/insult anyone :)
    3B, Thick, High Porosity, High Density
    Length: Waist Length curly
    Goal: Hip length curly/Classic length straight
    Beginning of hair journey: Sept. 27th, 2012 :)

    Shampoo: Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Shampoo
    Conditioner: Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Conditioner
    Co-Wash: As I Am Coconut Cowash
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users
    I've gotten the "what are you?" question some and so has my husband when he shows pictures of me. One guy once said "where I come from 'white girls' don't have hair like THAT" while pointing at my hair. I don't get it, I just think some people have no tact, I would never ask someone "what are you?" or "what are your kids?"
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users
    [Rant]Well I'm a few days late to this party but the title of the thread sure grabbed me. I don't understand how people find themselves saying any one ethnic group is "always" anything.

    Constantly people have landed this "mixed race kids" (or mixed race people) "compliment" on me and honestly the people saying it come across as complete, insensitive twits trying to sound more liberal than they probably really are. I can tell they think it sounds "post-racial" somehow, like they're symbolically nodding at all the US colors of Benetton, but really they are just making a very cheap, racially exclusive statement that is shallow and completely subjective. And let's face it, it's usually someone who has obvious white features that hears this crap "compliment", making it stink of racism all the more.

    Those comments are just another objectification of an ethnic group; just another stereotype. Like the "tragic mulatto" thing or whatever. Or "cute but confused." Finally, I wish some of these folks could understand that while they're complimenting one group, there may be people of some other group standing around who don't think their silly generalizations are so cute. Some of those bystanders may be impressionable kids.[/Rant]
  • BluebloodBlueblood Posts: 1,748Registered Users
    Korkscrew et al I've met mixed kids who look clearly one ethnic group or another and not sterotypically mixed at all. The only reason I've known they are mixed is because I know their parents.
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users
    That's a good point.

    In my life I've experienced what that's like too (being perceived as mono-racial). That was when I lived in a colder, drearier climate and my skin was very pale (even by white standards) and at that time I also straightened my hair. That along w/my features, especially the green eyes and I didn't hear a single "What are you?" inquiry. Folks were shocked when they met my black mother. I also didn't hear that quasi-PC, "Mixed people are the most beautiful" BS from strangers and acquaintances, although I overheard such statements in others' conversations.

    Fast forward to a warmer climate, a year-round tan and wearing my naturally (very) curly hair. Right after 911 I was suddenly being pulled out of every line at airport security checkpoints during "random" searches. It happened for every flight, departing and returning (and I traveled a lot). ... Still get a flurry of "What are you?" or "What you is?" inquiries, although Jews tend to know I'm Jewish. I think that when people can't shove someone neatly into the "Caucasian", "African" or "Asian" category, they aren't sure which stereotype to apply, which makes them think they'll have a harder time predicting that person's behavior. And so they get anxious. That's not always what's behind the curiosity though IMO. Anyway, this is turning into a personal diary. Maybe that's because I'm constantly reminded that I'm some ambiguous "other" by peoples' constant comments, so it's hard to resist responding to this topic at times.
  • LovemenappyLovemenappy Posts: 332Registered Users
    It's really bad in the south. White and black people are guilty of it. It just begs the question of "what makes them inherently more attractive?" and if they look more of one ethnic group than the other are they then no longer "attractive". It's just ignorance. I take it as one of those "back handed" stereotypes...like "blacks are the ones good at sports" "asians are smart" blah blah.

    :pukeright:I keep telling these fools that minorities are not monoliths, but the hicks aint listenin:batman: