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My Son In Law Attempted Suicide...

LotsawavesLotsawaves Scottsdale, AZRegistered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
in Non-hair discussion
I'm in shock! My daughter called a few minutes ago to tell me and that he is in the hospital. They've been going thru a tough time financially (almost lost their house) and he's been depressed. I just saw them on Sunday. Jim and I had a late lunch with them and watched some golf. He seemed fine. I'm leaving work early to pick up the kids at school and take them to my place. We're going to say he has a bad tummy ache, so has to be in the hospital for awhile.

I'd appreciate prayers and whatever you can send.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
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Comments

  • PerriPPerriP Registered Users Posts: 6,613 Curl Neophyte
    thoughts and prayers coming your way!
    I'm so sorry to hear this, but hopefully he's in a place to get some help.
    Modified CG since Dec 2011
  • TRBLTRBL Registered Users Posts: 5,294 Curl Connoisseur
    I'm sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this. {{Lotsa}}
    When I grow up, I wanna be a Jiujitsu Turtle!

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  • The New BlackThe New Black Registered Users Posts: 16,754 Curl Connoisseur
    Wow, I'm sorry, Lotsa. Hope he's OK and gets any help he needs.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

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  • DedachanDedachan Registered Users Posts: 1,644 Curl Neophyte
    I'm sorry to hear that. What an odd week for you.

    (((hugs)))
  • scrillsscrills Registered Users Posts: 6,700
    wow!!!

    (((HUGS)))
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    That's terrible! Definitely sending prayers. so sorry.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Scottsdale, AZRegistered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    Thanks everyone. I am having such a hard time believing this. I wish I had of known how depressed he was. I would have made an effort to talk to him on Sunday. He and I are very close. I do know that's he's been pretty quiet & serious lately. Usually he's giving me a hard time.

    Thank God for Jim. I called him and he's coming home early with pizza for the kids and we're taking them to the pool.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    That's very thoughtful of you. They're blessed to have you.
  • curlypearlcurlypearl Registered Users Posts: 12,231 Curl Connoisseur
    {{{Lotsa}}} I'm so, so sorry to hear this horrible news.
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  • claudine191claudine191 Registered Users Posts: 8,221 Curl Connoisseur
    I'm sorry, Lotsa.

    So sad.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


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  • macluanmacluan Registered Users Posts: 326
    I am so sorry Lotsa. So glad that his attempt was not successful and the healing can begin.
  • Jess the MessJess the Mess Registered Users Posts: 5,844 Curl Neophyte
    Ts and Ps and hugs for your family.
    High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

  • ConverseInkConverseInk Registered Users Posts: 30
    I am very sorry to hear about this upsetting news. I can tell you from personal experience that no one ever notices. We think everything is alright, but there is a war that rages inside. The brain never stops and the pain is overwhelming. The best thing for you to do is to love and support him. Actions speak louder than words. Try not to judge or talk about it. When he's ready he'll open up. Sometimes it is very hard to live for ourselves, but having someone else to live for can help. It helps me.

    *hugs* Sending good thoughts your way.

    *ConverseInk*
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    *ConverseInk*

    Peace, Love, & Converse!
  • asugirlasugirl Sunny AZRegistered Users Posts: 938 Curl Neophyte
    Wow, Lotsa, just reading about the kid from Mesa who it looks like committed suicide up in Oregon when I saw your post. So sorry for you, your daughter and your grandkids. Lots of love and understanding can go a long way in providing the motivation for him to get better. Hope he's at one of our better hospitals! Let me know if I can help at all.

    2c/3a - fine - medium porosity & density
  • wavydazewavydaze Registered Users Posts: 2,065 Curl Novice
    I'm incredibly sorry to hear this. I'm sure he and your daughter are very grateful to have your encouragement, support and help, especially with the kids. I wish you only peace during this trying time; I know that he can get help and things can look up from here so I'm sending all the positive energy your way.
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  • StarmieStarmie Registered Users Posts: 7,170 Curl Virtuoso
    So awful Lotsa. People in that state of mind are very good at hiding their feelings from those closest to them so don't give yourself a hard time for not realising how depressed he is. Dreadful as it is, now it's out in the open hopefully he can get the help he needs. Sending positive thoughts to you and your family.
    3b in South Australia.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Scottsdale, AZRegistered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    Very long night. Didn't get to bed until 1am. He was transferred to a different facility so they can address his problems. He doesn't like it there and is blaming my daughter for his being there. He said she never should have called 911. He didn't take enough stuff to actually die. She told him just the fact that he took anything shows he needs help.

    I told her to give him some time and not take anything he says personally. Hopefully, he will open up and work with the doctors and staff and get better. I found out he was taking 5 or 6 Xantac (sp?) per day for anxiety. He needs to detox.

    Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. It's nice to be able to come here and unload. No one is being told what happened. Only Jim and I know and of course my curlie friends here.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • Fifi.GFifi.G Registered Users Posts: 15,490 Curl Neophyte
    I am so sorry, ((((Lotsa)))). I'm sending many T's & P's your way. I hope he can talk to someone and get the help he needs, and I am glad his children have you guys right now.
    When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Registered Users Posts: 2,954 Curl Connoisseur
    I'm so sorry Lotsa. I hope he gets the help he needs. Thinking of you and your family during this time.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    I can't even begin to imagine how your daughter feels. Betrayed? Alone? Like you think you have a partner to go thru life with and the person has one foot out the door? So sad. I feel awfully bad for both of them.

    I wonder what, if anything, they will ever tell the kids. Will the kids ever know?
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Scottsdale, AZRegistered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    The kids are only 8 & 91/2, so we aren't telling them. One day? I doubt it. I would see no reason to.

    Yes, Renee is feeling confused and lost right now. I wish I could be with her more, but I have to be at work. She's been thru so much the past couple of years. She had been down in the dumps and I've been worried about her. She had been isolating herself. She was so different on Sunday. She had energy, was laughing. She wants to get healthier and picked my brain on nutrition. I felt so good that she seemed to be moving past her depression THEN he does this. She looked so broken last night. I didn't want to let go of her. I'm worried about him, but I also want to kick his butt.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    The kids are only 8 & 91/2, so we aren't telling them. One day? I doubt it. I would see no reason to.

    Yes, Renee is feeling confused and lost right now. I wish I could be with her more, but I have to be at work. She's been thru so much the past couple of years. She had been down in the dumps and I've been worried about her. She had been isolating herself. She was so different on Sunday. She had energy, was laughing. She wants to get healthier and picked my brain on nutrition. I felt so good that she seemed to be moving past her depression THEN he does this. She looked so broken last night. I didn't want to let go of her. I'm worried about him, but I also want to kick his butt.

    Understandable!

    Is this the daughter who moved to Columbus while the husband went to law school?

    I had a coworker whose husband attempted suicide the week before we both started working at the job. She was always worried. Always checking up on him and babying him. He couldn't work due to the depression and he just stayed home everyday, in the in-laws' basement, where they lived, working on this business idea that never got off the ground. I think he had always suffered from depression but had been trying his hand at day trading, miskeyed something and lost their entire savings and a lot of money they didn't have. I think he felt so guilty and worthless after that, he just wanted to end it all.

    It's got to be tough on both sides. Maybe there is a support group your daughter could go to, to blow off some steam?
  • WintaWinta Registered Users Posts: 24
    I'm so sorry to hear this. I lost my brother just have Memorial Day to suicide and no one saw it coming either. In fact, he seemed happier than ever. This is going to be tough on all of you, so my best wishes to the whole family, especially your daughter who may be playing herself and your son in law who felt so desperate.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Scottsdale, AZRegistered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    This is a different daughter. Her husband sells and leases commercial real estate. Hasn't been easy with the economy.

    She went to therapy after the ****e hit the fan in Texas, but it didn't really help. Not sure if she would consider it again.

    My other daughter went to Ohio while her bf got a masters in art history. This is the one who doesn't talk to me.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • TRBLTRBL Registered Users Posts: 5,294 Curl Connoisseur
    Lotsa,

    I want to again say how sorry I am that you all are going through this. What I'm about to say is very hard and I've vascillated on whether I should say it or not, but it really would bother me if I didn't.

    I think the family is making the wrong decision in not talking to the children about this. They are old enough to realize that something isn't right, and they'll be angry at you and their parents when they find out the truth (and I think it would be much more likely that they find out than not). This is an issue that needs to be talked about openly, candidly, and honestly. It shouldn't be a deep dark family secret that is swept under the rug.

    I found this in a quick seach online, I hope you find it helpful/useful.
    Talking to your 9-13 year old about a suicide attempt in your family

    Again these are just my feelings, but know that you and your family are all in my thoughts.

    TRBL
    When I grow up, I wanna be a Jiujitsu Turtle!

    My british name, courtesy of Ninja Dog Shade Haven-Staffordshire: TRBL Hough Jewelstone Turtleneck

    Its chaos a few hairs at a time. ~Minxy

    "Dispute not with her: she is lunatic." -Richard III
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Registered Users Posts: 17,898 Curl Virtuoso
    TRBL wrote: »
    Lotsa,

    I want to again say how sorry I am that you all are going through this. What I'm about to say is very hard and I've vascillated on whether I should say it or not, but it really would bother me if I didn't.

    I think the family is making the wrong decision in not talking to the children about this. They are old enough to realize that something isn't right, and they'll be angry at you and their parents when they find out the truth (and I think it would be much more likely that they find out than not). This is an issue that needs to be talked about openly, candidly, and honestly. It shouldn't be a deep dark family secret that is swept under the rug.

    I found this in a quick seach online, I hope you find it helpful/useful.
    Talking to your 9-13 year old about a suicide attempt in your family

    Again these are just my feelings, but know that you and your family are all in my thoughts.

    TRBL


    I think the above advice is for when a child already knows about the attempt. These children have no idea anything happened.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Scottsdale, AZRegistered Users Posts: 9,777 Curl Virtuoso
    TRBL, I really do appreciate you wanting to help. That is very thoughtful of you. I have to agree with Spider. The kids have no idea about what happened. They were in school when this all happened. If they were aware of a suicide attempt then yes, it would be very important to talk to them about it.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • PyjamaLlamaPyjamaLlama Registered Users Posts: 72
    Sending my prayers to all of you, hopefully everyone will be ok
    (>^_^)><(^_^<)
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Registered Users Posts: 5,136 Curl Connoisseur
    Lotsa,

    I wish the best for you and your family. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.

    Sent from my HTCEVOV4G using CurlTalk App
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
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  • SpiralliSpiralli Registered Users Posts: 3,684 Curl Connoisseur
    Sorry to hear this! Sending prayers.
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