CurlTalk

Miss or Ma'am?

CurlswirlCurlswirl Posts: 526Registered Users
Do you think you are called miss if you look like you are in your 30s or younger and ma'am if you look like you are in your 40s and beyond? I have a friend who insists that because she is referred to by clerks as miss that she looks like she is in her 30s even though she is 50 something.

What do you think?
«1

Comments

  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,270Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Yeah. I actually think that is true. I hate ma'am. I didn't become ma'am until about two years ago. Ugh. (I'm 49). It's really bugging me.
  • Jennifer.SmiJennifer.Smi Posts: 17Registered Users
    I don't know about the 40's vs. 30's theory. I never really took notice to it before. I have taken notice to people starting to call me ma'am and I hate it too. I've even told people that I'm not ma'am, I'm Jen. Sometimes I want to break out into my own remade versions of Wham's song re-titled, "I'm Not Your Ma'am!" LOL!!! :laughing5:

    On a side note, is there any way to politely tell someone NOT to call you ma'am?
  • Firefox7275Firefox7275 Posts: 3,750Registered Users
    In the UK people call the Queen ma'am and senior female police officers, not really anyone else.
    2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

    CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
    Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
    Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
    Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
    Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
    Experimenting with: benign neglect
  • BluebloodBlueblood Posts: 1,748Registered Users
    In the UK people call the Queen ma'am and senior female police officers, not really anyone else.

    To confuse people even more how you call the Queen "ma'am", and how you call a female senior police officer or female senior military officer "ma'am" have different pronunciations.

    I only know because I've been pulled up on it by ex-military types.
  • claudine191claudine191 Posts: 8,220Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Ever since a guy called me "Sir," adding to my insecurity about looking like a drag queen, I don't care if I'm ma'am or miss.
  • fightingfrizzfightingfrizz Posts: 65Registered Users
    I'm from the UK and I'm in my mid 40s, so I get a big kick out of being called either Miss or Ma'am. The latter doesn't really exist here, and I love being called Ma'am because of the novelty factor! It sound so courteous.
    UK based, Curly from birth 2b-2c fairly porous with cherub tendencies and frizz halo! Faves include KCKT and Keracare LIs, Deva Curl, CCCCL, Ecosyler gel and Be Curly Curl Enhancer. I don’t mind the odd cone - shhh smile.gif CG since August 2012
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,270Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It's funny because there is not much else someone who doesn't know you could call you but it's disheartening because there is some line you cross where it's "well I'm not sure what age she is but she definitely isn't a "miss" " that just says "you're old".
  • celticscryercelticscryer Posts: 44Registered Users
    Oh, my, I hope that's not true! Teenagers have been calling me "Ma'am" for several years now and I'm only 37! :sad7:
  • bobbybobby Posts: 669Registered Users
    I tend to go with "Ma'am" if I'm in doubt because my biggest leeriness with "Miss" is that for all I know they are married, in which case it would not be factually right. As a guy, I'm personally not wild about "Sir" or "Mister" but don't see getting called either as a reason to get upset.
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • KatMackKatMack Posts: 60Registered Users
    I think it depends on where you're from. I'm from a small town in Texas and I regularly use ma'am and sir as a politeness no matter the age range, especially if I'm at work. I never say miss. Very rarely will anyone correct me on it.

    I personally am the opposite of what I've read here. To me "Miss" comes across as young, very young. Thats what older people would call me as a child or teen. And I don't exactly take offense to it, I understand its usually out of respect or formality, But to me Miss just feels weird. Lol. (It also might bug me because I look a LOT younger than I am. One of my supervisors calls me "little lady" teasingly every once in a while because I told him "miss" irks me)

    The one I have people correct me on is the Mr. Lastname vs just a first name. And that one I do have an age range on. If you're younger than I am (mid 20's) I'll say first name, especially to a teen. If you're older, or approximately the same age I'll say Mr. or Ms.unless you introduce yourself otherwise. (And yeah I get the "Mr. Smith was my father, call me Bill" from time to time)
    KAT
    ~Curly, Runner, Self-confessed Nerd~
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    2a no product/2b-c styled
    Low Porosity, Fine
    No poo-SM
    Co wash-VO5 kiwi lime*
    Rinse out- ION EC
    Leave in - Giovanni Direct then SM smoothie (ends only)
    Stylers-SM souffle topped with BRHG*

    Hair hates: glycerin (high dews here in TX)
    Hair likes: Coconut Oil*, protein

    *=HG
  • curry curlscurry curls Posts: 972Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I've been called ma'am for a while now. I don't recall ever being called miss.

    And, Chupie, I also despise being called ma'am. It makes me feel old.

    Claudine, when I was around 15 or so I wore my hair really short. This woman from the newspaper came over to talk with my mom about something and said, "I bet HE doesn't remember that". She was looking at me. Ugh.
    Started CG July 8, 2008


    3B

    Co-wash: Deva Decadence No Poo
    Rinse out: Deva Decadence One Condition
    Leave-in/Styling: Deva Decadence One Condition, Deva Supercream, and Deva B'leave-in
    Others: ACV rinses and protein treatments


  • StarmieStarmie Posts: 6,682Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    People are way too informal here to ever use either term and I'm glad, I think I'd cringe if someone called me ma'am!
    3b in South Australia.
  • PerriPPerriP Posts: 6,613Registered Users
    Mostly, I hate it, but here in Texas, you get it a lot. I wouldn't rather be called miss, though, because that sounds creepy at my age (43)

    And, I have been called sir (when my hair was shorter. And when I was younger)
    And, in 7th grade I won a school wide Halloween contest... for the boys. Humiliating.

    Sent from my SCH-I535 using CurlTalk App
    Modified CG since Dec 2011
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'm called Ma'am mostly and I prefer it. At my age being called Miss makes me laugh. To me Miss is a young unmarried woman. Ma'am is a woman who is either married or one who has been married. Doesn't matter the age. Being called Ma'am doesn't automatically make you old. I think it is a matter of respect.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    I dislike both. Both terms are based on marital status and I resent being categorized based on my relationship with a man. If you have to call me something, then call me Ms (pronounced Mizz).
  • SpiralSpunkSpiralSpunk Posts: 243Registered Users
    ................
  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users
    If you look old enough to vote, you're getting ma'am from me. Miss is for girls. I don't call women girls or miss the way I don't call men boys.
    Kiva! Microfinance works.

    Med/Coarse, porous curly.
  • sKorpio1190sKorpio1190 Posts: 1,862Registered Users
    Am I the only young person who actually likes being called mam? And yet, I hate the fact that several people whom I have told that I am starting school soon have asked me if I am the teacher -__-
    Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity :shock:
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 19,251Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I don't think the age of the person necessarily determines whether someone calls them Miss or Ma'am. I think the age of the other person is what determines it. An 8 year old might call a 20 year old Ma'am. A 40 year old might call a 50 year old Miss.

    I don't like to be called either of those things (ditto RCW) and I don't call others either of those things. If I need to address someone I just go with something like "Excuse me, could you help me?"
    --I'm located in Western PA.
    --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, started going grey in late 2005.
    --My hair is 3B with some 3A, texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
    --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, oils, honey, vinegar.
    --My CG and grey hair progress -- http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html
  • BlackAngelPlayahBlackAngelPlayah Posts: 1,419Registered Users
    Ever since a guy called me "Sir," adding to my insecurity about looking like a drag queen, I don't care if I'm ma'am or miss.

    Aw, damn. I had that happen once at Victoria's Secret!! DH and I walk in and the clerk was like "How can I help you gentlemen?" My hair was very short and I was wearing a leather coat and jeans. She was mortified once she realized I was a woman. LoL!

    Anyway, no one calls me Miss and I'm just 35. I'm always "Ma'am". Suuuucks.

    I've never been miss.


    I must seem old as HELL.

    At least no one else has called me a gentleman. So... Yay.
    :afro:FroZen:afro:
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,270Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    OTOH say you drop something. Someone who doesn't know you sees. Miss or Ma'am is out. How do they get your attention? "Hey you!" "Hey Lady!"?
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 19,251Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    "Excuse me!" works whether I'm the one saying it or someone else is saying it.
    --I'm located in Western PA.
    --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, started going grey in late 2005.
    --My hair is 3B with some 3A, texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
    --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, oils, honey, vinegar.
    --My CG and grey hair progress -- http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users
    Seems to me the modern trend is for people - especially sales and customer service employees (and not just southerners) - to routinely call all adult women "ma'am". ... That could explain why a lot of women aged 16, 26, 36 or 57 are saying that people only recently started calling them ma'am. It may have a lot less to do with age and more to do with polite business and social practice.

    ... Or depending on how ma'am is used, it could be code for "bit@%". Same for use of sir. Sometimes it's code for a-hole ;)
  • Manda92Manda92 Posts: 62Registered Users
    I'm from the South and we call pretty much everyone ma'am! I'm only 21 and I look like I'm about 15, but I get it all the time. It's the respectful thing to do here. When you're a kid, you are taught that you always say "yes ma'am/yessir". If you ever forget to say it, well you learn real fast.
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,270Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Huh. That's an interesting and plausible theory Korkscrew! I'd feel better about that.
  • bobbybobby Posts: 669Registered Users
    Korkscrew wrote: »
    Seems to me the modern trend is for people - especially sales and customer service employees (and not just southerners) - to routinely call all adult women "ma'am". ... That could explain why a lot of women aged 16, 26, 36 or 57 are saying that people only recently started calling them ma'am. It may have a lot less to do with age and more to do with polite business and social practice.

    ... Or depending on how ma'am is used, it could be code for "bit@%". Same for use of sir. Sometimes it's code for a-hole ;)

    Your posts are always full of real world logic, Korkscrew. It's refreshing to see. I definitely agree that it's more of a social practice than anything age based. One thing I say a lot instead of "Miss" or "ma'am" is "honey" or "young lady." Depends on the setting. I've used "young lady" more than a few times on women in their 40s and they are flattered beyond belief. :)
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • RytokaRytoka Posts: 309Registered Users
    When I was working as a sales person I had a woman come up behind me and say excuse me ma'am but when I turned around she said with a snooty look on get face "oh, I mean miss" always rubbed me the wrong way. I was young at the time, early 20's and didn't mind being called either but her changing her mind like that made me angry!
    Katie
    2C/3a, Medium Texture, Normal porosity, High Density, Normal Elasticity (so says the LCLF Hair analysis)
    Co Wash: As I am
    RO: Yes To Carrots / Ion
    LI: Biotera / Samy Big Curls Defining Cream
    Gel: FSG, Volumax (Original and Mega)
    Color: Henna
    Tools: Diffusing
    :thumright:
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users
    LOL Bobby. Everyone has a system I guess, in terms of how they address others. There's a lot I don't mind and a few things that rub me the wrong way. I tend to get skeeved when a guy calls me "honey" or "hon" unless it's an older family member ... it's a quirk, I suppose. Plus, it's slightly hypocritical because I will call other females "hon" or "honey" at times. I only tend to do that when it seems they're already feeling comfortable around me. But even then, who knows, I'm probably annoying a few people here and there.
  • RytokaRytoka Posts: 309Registered Users
    Korkscrew wrote: »
    LOL Bobby. Everyone has a system I guess, in terms of how they address others. There's a lot I don't mind and a few things that rub me the wrong way. I tend to get skeeved when a guy calls me "honey" or "hon" unless it's an older family member ... it's a quirk, I suppose. Plus, it's slightly hypocritical because I will call other females "hon" or "honey" at times. I only tend to do that when it seems they're already feeling comfortable around me. But even then, who knows, I'm probably annoying a few people here and there.

    I am the same, when people I don't know call me honey it really bothers me!
    Katie
    2C/3a, Medium Texture, Normal porosity, High Density, Normal Elasticity (so says the LCLF Hair analysis)
    Co Wash: As I am
    RO: Yes To Carrots / Ion
    LI: Biotera / Samy Big Curls Defining Cream
    Gel: FSG, Volumax (Original and Mega)
    Color: Henna
    Tools: Diffusing
    :thumright:
  • bobbybobby Posts: 669Registered Users
    For me it just kind of became a somewhat of a habit when when I became a father as two of my three kids (6 year old and two 4 year olds) being girls. Though I generally wait for the woman to call me "honey" before I refer to her as such.
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
«1

Leave a Comment