My hair is NOT an invitation

curlytwirlykatecurlytwirlykate Registered Users Posts: 142
So today I wore my hair down for the first time in awhile... it just looked great today, and I knew I wasn't going to be at the gym, so I kept it down!

And I also happened to have to go to the hardware store. First thing in the morning, when it's basically abandoned.

While there, a group of men come up to me (probably in their 30s?), muttering stuff like "hey girl, nice hair!". I brush them off and walk away, only to find one of them again a few aisles down. As I walk away from him AGAIN, he reaches out and smacks my butt and starts closing me into a corner with this creepy, lascivious look on his face.

So, I'm understandably angry (and a little scared), and I start making as MUCH noise as possible. It's the fastest way to get people around us to pay attention. Stuff like, "What in the WORLD do you think you're doing? WHY would you touch me like that?". He's still all, "hey girl, you know you want this!" FINALLY a few employees come by and escort him to customer service, where we all wait for the cops. Because I won't stand for this, and insisted on calling the cops.

When they arrive, they ask this man what POSSIBLY could have possessed him to do this. He replies, "everyone knows a white girl with curls is asking for some action. They allllllways easy."

So I had to walk away from that. I really really wanted to hit him, but then I'd be charged for assault. I'm still fuming, especially because I was powerless to say anything to that comment. And my smouldering look didn't do ANYTHING.

Ugh. I'm gonna go shower and put my hair up, now.
3A/2C | fine | high-po length, low-po roots | medium density | shoulder-length

Shower Time!
Treat: EVCO
Co-Wash: DE Unscented Condish with added lavender and tea tree EOs
Condish: DE Coconut Condish with added local honey

After Shower: Homemade FSG with added gelatine

+ bi-weekly protein DIY treatments (gelatin and egg yolk)
+ mindful nutrition


  • RytokaRytoka Registered Users Posts: 309 Curl Neophyte
    That's awful!! Good for standing up to those *******s! Don't let stupidity keep you from being yourself! Your curls are a part of who you are! Next time kick the guy hard where it counts ;/
    2C/3a, Medium Texture, Normal porosity, High Density, Normal Elasticity (so says the LCLF Hair analysis)
    Co Wash: As I am
    RO: Yes To Carrots / Ion
    LI: Biotera / Samy Big Curls Defining Cream
    Gel: FSG, Volumax (Original and Mega)
    Color: Henna
    Tools: Diffusing
  • JessMessJessMess Registered Users Posts: 151
    "everyone knows a white girl with curls is asking for some action. They allllllways easy."

    WTF? I can't believe he said that to the cops--much less thought it to begin with!

    I'm glad you are OK.
    Type 2c: coarse, high-density, low porosity (so it would seem)
    Avoiding protein and glycerin; going for soft, non-crunchy, frizz-free waves
    CO & RO: Tresemme Naturals Moisture
    Sealer: Olive oil
    Leave-in/Styler: Kinky Curly Knot Today
    DT: olive oil and honey
  • chupiechupie Registered Users Posts: 5,280 Curl Connoisseur
    So what did the cops do?
    2a medium porous, You can see my wavy tutorials here: and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation
  • RednaturalcurlsRednaturalcurls Registered Users Posts: 1,814 Curl Neophyte
    Um wow! That is just crazy! Wtf is wrong with people?! Hopefully the cops did something?

    Sent from my SCH-I535 using CurlTalk App
    Hair Type: mix of 3's, growing out an angled bob, color-treated red.
    Current products: GVP conditioning balm for co-wash and leave in, Curl Junkie Curls in a Bottle, Pattern Pusha and Garnier Anti-humidity hairspray
    Location:Sunny Florida
    Hair idol: Kimberly Schlapman from Little Big Town
  • curlytwirlykatecurlytwirlykate Registered Users Posts: 142
    Thanks, all! I'm less angry now, but still fuming a little bit!

    The cops didn't do much. Took statements from both of us, and then told me I could go. I don't know what the follow-through will be, especially because I don't intend to press charges (no matter how angry I was, that didn't seem like a sound idea!!). But the cops mentioned that they've had a few complaints about a similar-sounding man doing similar-sort-of-things in the same community. So they're going to question this guy, at least!
    3A/2C | fine | high-po length, low-po roots | medium density | shoulder-length

    Shower Time!
    Treat: EVCO
    Co-Wash: DE Unscented Condish with added lavender and tea tree EOs
    Condish: DE Coconut Condish with added local honey

    After Shower: Homemade FSG with added gelatine

    + bi-weekly protein DIY treatments (gelatin and egg yolk)
    + mindful nutrition
  • SamanthascurlzSamanthascurlz Registered Users Posts: 1,082 Curl Neophyte
    Seriously WTF. I am so sorry that happened. Disgusting people out there.
    CG, High Porosity, Fine, Low Density, Medium Elasticity
    Suave, V05, GF Go clean gel, ACV rinses, CO, and Gelatine PT.
  • adthomasadthomas Registered Users Posts: 5,525 Curl Neophyte
    That white girl curly hair stuff is total bs that perv pulled out of his a$$.

    I had a lot of problems in high school and college with dirty old men in stores harrassing me. I would try to get away from them and they still follow me from aisle to aisle. I would get very upset but fortunately no one ever touched me. Finally, my mom told me to start going to the security guards. :angry7:
    Yes, it's real. No, you can't touch it. :wav:
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Registered Users Posts: 1,834 Curl Neophyte
    Yeah, I certainly would have pressed charges. It might help make him think twice about sexually molesting other women. Or even if it didn't make him think twice, his name would be in the system for what he did, so that future offenses would lead to increasing legal consequences.

    Anyway, I'm really really sorry you had to go through this. I too can relate to public harassment.
  • DedachanDedachan Registered Users Posts: 1,644 Curl Neophyte
    That's horrible.

    Trust me, it had absolutely nothing to do with your hair or anything else about you for that matter. It had everything to do with misogyny, rape culture and victim-blaming.
  • PhattBassPhattBass Registered Users Posts: 2
    What a misogynistic, disgusting pig!!!!
  • Firefox7275Firefox7275 Registered Users Posts: 3,750 Curl Neophyte
    Sorry to read this gas happened to you. Please press charges, that is sexual assault. If he is not stopped at this stage who knows where it will escalate, what if he catches some other curly girl in a dark empty parking lot? How will you feel if you read in the newspaper about a much worse attack in a few years? Presumably your address is confidential, it certainly is in the UK.
    2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

    CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
    Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
    Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
    Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
    Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
    Experimenting with: benign neglect
  • wavydazewavydaze Registered Users Posts: 2,065 Curl Novice
    Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm really sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you called the cops, at least there's a report out there.
    2bc/ f / ii. low porosity roots + normal-high porosity shaft where bleached. normal elasticity.

    Currently using:
    Poo: Earthbath Oatmeal & Aloe
    RO: V05 Kiwi Lime
    LI: CJ Smoothing Lotion
    Styler: UFD CM, CJ PP
    PT: CJ Repair Me

    :thumright: hydrolized protein, jelly stylers
    :angry8: guar hydroxypropyltrimonium chloride, sulfates, jojoba oil
    Neutral on cones.

    iherb discount code: CFN646
  • bobbybobby Registered Users Posts: 785 Curl Connoisseur
    Another way to put it is: "My hair is not a petting zoo."
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • CurlTalkCurlTalk Registered Users Posts: 9

    Transitioning: About 15 months (April 2013 - Present)
    Hair Type: Unknown (3c/4a)
    Hair Thickness: Fine
    Hair Color: Brunette


    Shampoo: None
    Condition / Detangle / Leave-In: Silicone-Free Conditioner

    Between Washes
    Add: Coconut Oil
  • Fifi.GFifi.G Registered Users Posts: 15,490 Curl Neophyte
    That is a bunch of ****! Really glad you called the police. If you do not press charges, there really isn't much they can do in a situation like this. It's not so much sexual assault (that is rape. a crude stranger smacking your butt is rude, pushy, aggressive and uncalled for but not rape) but sexual harassment and behavior that clearly made you feel threatened. You did a good thing. If they had already received a report of a man saying things along the same line, you have at least pointed them in a more specific direction. His name will be put in the system. Not as in having committed a crime, but as a general report because he caused a disturbance, and could have possibly caused others. Other officers will be told about and see this report, and will keep it in mind if/when other situations arise.
    When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

  • jakrussel3jakrussel3 Registered Users Posts: 423
    Holy crap, I'd have gone bananas on him. Or grabbed a shovel and whacked him with it. Good for you for calling the cops. What a creeper.
    Hair Properties: 2A/2B, Medium-fine, Normal porosity, Normal elasticity, Medium density
    Low Poo: DevaCare, Yes to Cuc's
    Rinse Out: DevaCare One Condition, Yes to Cuc's
    Cowash: Suave Naturals Lavender, Yes to Carrots Scalp Conditioner
    Curl Cream: AG ReCoil, Organix Moroccan Oil Curl Cream
    Gel/Mousse: Sweet Curls Elixirs FSG w/ Mag Sulfate added, Sweet Curls Elixirs hard hold gel, DevaCurl Frizz Free Foam, Aquage Uplifting Foam
    Protein: Spiral Solutions Protein Spray for daily use

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