Recovery from an ED is hard...*small rant*

virginblue

This seems like an odd topic for a curly hair site, but most of the eating disorder forums are not focused on recovery but on how to acquire an ED, which is totally insane ("pro ana", ugh). Anyway, I am in recovery and have put on about 15 lbs in the past several months. I'm not yet a healthy weight, but I'm getting close. I live with my dad ATM and he buys all sorts of fattening foods because he thinks it helps me. I find these foods very scary and not helpful at all. Today he bought donuts for breakfast and I resisted them but finally broke down and had two. Sugary and carby foods are a big no-no in my ED head and also a binge food for me. I feel so awful for eating them and I even lashed out at my dad. I told him he needs to stop buying them. He wants to buy me a dress for a wedding we are going to and I told him I didn't want to go because I am too bloated and fat from the donuts and I won't fit in anything anyway. I feel terrible for being mean to him. The wedding is tomorrow but I feel too disgusting and fat to try on any dresses. I don't know if I can explain it to him without him feeling even worse. I'm trying to just suck it up and go, but I feel like I would just be in a bad mood the whole time and terrible company. Sorry for the rant, just had to get it out so I'm not crying all day.

CurlyGrey3

I agree that sugary carby foods aren't the way to go. You need to learn how to eat a healthy diet for the rest of your life. Have you seen a nutritionist?

As far as how you feel now, well , I've never had an ED but I've had body image issues and an unhealthy relationship with food my whole life. The only healthy thing I can do after making poor eating choices is to forgive myself and move forward. You can do it. Let it go. Go buy that new dress and celebrate the beauty in recovery and your progress.

Eilonwy

CurlyGrey3 wrote: »

I agree that sugary carby foods aren't the way to go. You need to learn how to eat a healthy diet for the rest of your life. Have you seen a nutritionist?

To be more specific, it should be a registered dietician. Nutritionists aren't really regulated, and some are quacks who promote unhealthy menus and approaches to eating.

I think you'll find NC.com a safe and encouraging place to talk about health issues. There may be a lot of bickering, but folks here are always so supportive when it comes to real-life problems

CurlyGrey3

Also, try talking to your Dad. I know that with my daughter I would really like to know what's going on in her mind. I would be scared and wouldn't know how best to support her or what was the right/wrong thing to say/do.

geeky

Congratulations on being in recovery.

I don;t have personal experience in ED's. Do you have access to counseling? Are you in counseling now? You could use that to get support in talking to people effectively about food, how ot get well-intentioned but pushy people to back off. And maybe it would be possible for your dad to go with you. That way he could learn how to be truly supportive.

Good luck!

Starmie

I agree with geeky - if you could get your dad to go with you to some sort of counselling it would help immensely. I work in psychiatry and even if people can get a handle on their mental health issues and know what they need, it's often difficult for relatives to understand. It's easy for them to do all the wrong things when they think they're helping.
Well done on your recovery, I wish you continued success.

BlackAngelPlayah

Your dad loves you but doesn't understand. Fatty foods aren't recovery foods. My mom did the same and all I got was fat. I learned nothing and still had all the anorexic mindset, but none of the control. A maddening combination.

As an adult I don't want to be 600lbs, which in not. But I understand healthy weight. And healthy eating is more important than weight loss per se.

Get in touch with a nutritionalist and a support group. Get dad involved because honestly, healthy eating an lifestyle will freak out a regular person if they don't know what's going on.

Good luck, sweetie!

mimix

If your dad forces you to eat food you don't want to eat, you are in danger of getting bulimia. Trust me, i speak out of experience.. Luckily i have recovered but it took years of therapy. Try to eat more healthy food in order to gain weight slowly and healthy. Avoid eating light products such as fat free yogurt and don't drink diet sodas. The sweeteners in these things will make you binge which will lead to bulimia.

virginblue

Thanks for all the support and good advice! I got back from a treatment center recently but I haven't yet set up anything with a counselor or a dietician on the outside yet.

BlackAngelPlayah wrote: »

I learned nothing and still had all the anorexic mindset, but none of the control. A maddening combination.

THIS. Even though my body is healthier, I still feel sick in my mind.

mimix wrote: »

If your dad forces you to eat food you don't want to eat, you are in danger of getting bulimia.

I've worried about this. I eat things I wish I hadn't and I want to purge it. I'm already recovering from one ED, so I'm trying to avoid this at all costs. I feel lucky to be alive and just want to get better.

CurlyGrey3

I second the suggestion to get into counseling if you aren't already.