CurlTalk

straight hair is better hair

kayleigh.lewkayleigh.lew Posts: 14Registered Users
I nanny a 2 year old biracial girl. She rocks a darling baby afro with all the challenges that come along with being both Caucasian and African-American. We were at the grocery store last week when I stopped to fix the clip in her out-of-control mane. As I was struggling to free the tangled clippie, a pair of older female employees passed and remarked, "Poor thing must've gotten her daddy's hair!"
(Side note: I have a fairly unruly head of 3a/b/occasionally c hair of my own that had been flatironed the day before)
I'm frequently assumed to be the little one's mother when we go places; that doesn't bother me. What bothered me was the fact that someone looked at my (the presumed mother's) semi-straight, "typical" Caucasian hair and pitied the little one for inheriting her kinky hair from her non-Caucasian father.
Although it would probably still annoy me if I had straight hair, I felt a special kind of spite for these ignorant employees and a society that praises the all-American straight head of hair and looks down upon natural, textured African-American hair.*

*I'm obviously aware that any race can have kinky/curly hair, but the social idea that textured hair is unprofessional/second rate/not as pretty is especially aimed towards people of color
3a w/ 3b underlayers
Low-normal porosity, regular-coarse
Recovering from TE
Products: Suave Naturals (co-wash), Kenra Moisturizing Conditioner, Fast Food (leave in), SM Curl Milk, Devacurl Light Defining Gel, coconut oil
(Product use varies according to weather, time constraints, and desired look :glasses1:)

Comments

  • Always@nightAlways@night Posts: 566Registered Users
    Those employees were quite rude to say that, but it is hard for everyone to see the unique beauty that each person possesses ; hair included.
  • chupiechupie Posts: 5,270Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I just don't get it. I don't understand
    1) people's need to comment
    2) why is it "poor thing", I'm totally enamored with any curly or kinky hair as its beautiful.
    3) are people raised in barns? Why are people so rude??
  • Firefox7275Firefox7275 Posts: 3,750Registered Users
    How impolite, weren't they raised with any manners? I would have complained to management, staff should be more professional than to insult customers even if they are only toddlers. Negative comments about appearance is part of what gives females especially complexes about their looks and it starts very young.
    2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

    CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
    Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
    Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
    Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
    Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
    Experimenting with: benign neglect
  • GroYoFroGroYoFro Posts: 237Registered Users
    Some people just do not have any manners and many people are haters. You know as Dead Prez says , "when you love yourself theres always going to be haters"

    Here is the link to that video. I highly suggest for you to listen : )

    Dead Prez The Beauty Within lyrics antikorper - YouTube
    "Life is too short to keep your hair short"

    Click here to visit - GRO YO FRO!
  • curlicious13curlicious13 Posts: 1,632Registered Users
    How rude. I would complain too. But nothing new to me. Mom complains about my curly hair all the time saying "your hair looks better & sexier straight." Honestly, I think my hair looks beautiful either way. I get more compliments about my curly hair from strangers than I get from my family & hair stylist. The stylist hates my choice to go natural.
  • SamanthascurlzSamanthascurlz Posts: 1,082Registered Users
    I agree with everyone, it is sad that others look at the non-society standards as a curse. People like that reinforce why I go natural.
    CG, High Porosity, Fine, Low Density, Medium Elasticity
    Suave, V05, GF Go clean gel, ACV rinses, CO, and Gelatine PT.
    [URL="[url=http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/samanthascurlz-albums-evolvement-my-hair.html]Curls[/url]"][/url]Curls
  • UnluckyCurlsUnluckyCurls Posts: 3Registered Users
    It's crazy how people think they can say whatever they want about natural hair and not think its rude. This girl at my school once told me "no offense but I don't want my kids to have your hair" 1: it's still offensive even if you say no offense and 2: that crap is hurtful it can make even the strongest willed people upset
  • GoldWavesGoldWaves Posts: 50Registered Users
    I hope this doesn't offend anyone but I personally find straight hair really, really boring. It always looks the same, plus most people I know complain that they can't do anything with it and wish it would curl or wave at the very least.
  • bobbybobby Posts: 669Registered Users
    I have one thing to say about those who think straight hair is better -- "sucks to be you."

    Well, OK, if you have naturally straight hair I can see think straight is better. It's what you know but if you are a curly thinking straight is better and you straighten it -- time to go to rehab. Those are the ones that confirm I did the right thing by going natural.

    In fact, maybe one day just for fun I'll do a perm rod set. ;)
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 19,235Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    I would have said "Lucky kid got her dad's hair"! I love afros and am jealous of those who have them.
    --I'm located in Western PA.
    --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, started going grey in late 2005.
    --My hair is 3B with some 3A, texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
    --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, oils, honey, vinegar.
    --My CG and grey hair progress -- http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,132Registered Users
    That is rude. You didn't ask them for their opinion, especially as this negative comment regarded a child. When it comes to weight and hair, strangers feel it is ok to comment.

    We all have different preferences, but it doesn't give us a right to insult others for traits they have when it has no impact on us.

    Sent from my HTCEVOV4G using CurlTalk App
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • CurlyInTheFogCurlyInTheFog Posts: 876Registered Users
    I would have said "Lucky kid got her dad's hair"! I love afros and am jealous of those who have them.

    This. I love seeing kids with the ultra-curly, wild hair. I was in a restaurant the other day and a man came in with his kids, and boy, did they have the most gorgeous hair. I wanted to go over and tell him "Your kids have great hair," but I didn't because I thought it might be a little weird, but I was gawking at them all through our meal. My husband thinks it's hilarious when I moon over hair.
    3a/b, F, normal porosity

    Suave conditioner, LAL gel
  • bobbybobby Posts: 669Registered Users
    I would have said "Lucky kid got her dad's hair"! I love afros and am jealous of those who have them.

    Jeep, believe me, I am glad that after all these years I love that I have one. There are days I shamelessly wear my purple pick in my hair. ;)
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • bringingcurliesback?bringingcurliesback? Posts: 1,307Registered Users
    I second jeepcurlygurl! I love hair like tarenguy's on youtube it is gorgeous. Oh the volume I would kill to have had a journey of my own with a twa and all. And for the record I hate youtube videos like how to fake curly hair. It makes me so mad.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using CurlTalk App
    *Current Routine*
    LP: SM RSB
    CO/CW: CJ Daily Fix, GR Restorative, SM RSB, SM SFC
    DC: SM, CJ Rehab, G.Nutrafix, DIY
    LI: a CO, KCKT
    Sealers: an oil, JC N&S
    Stylers: just CO, CJ CIAB, KCCC, aloe gel, FSG
    Once in a while: ACV, Lemon-Aid

    Oils to seal, rinse, and/or pre-poo as needed :love10:

    2c/3a/3b coarse, normal porosity
    :toothy4: CG since 2007 :flower:
  • bobbybobby Posts: 669Registered Users
    I nanny a 2 year old biracial girl. She rocks a darling baby afro with all the challenges that come along with being both Caucasian and African-American. We were at the grocery store last week when I stopped to fix the clip in her out-of-control mane. As I was struggling to free the tangled clippie, a pair of older female employees passed and remarked, "Poor thing must've gotten her daddy's hair!"
    (Side note: I have a fairly unruly head of 3a/b/occasionally c hair of my own that had been flatironed the day before)
    I'm frequently assumed to be the little one's mother when we go places; that doesn't bother me. What bothered me was the fact that someone looked at my (the presumed mother's) semi-straight, "typical" Caucasian hair and pitied the little one for inheriting her kinky hair from her non-Caucasian father.
    Although it would probably still annoy me if I had straight hair, I felt a special kind of spite for these ignorant employees and a society that praises the all-American straight head of hair and looks down upon natural, textured African-American hair.*

    *I'm obviously aware that any race can have kinky/curly hair, but the social idea that textured hair is unprofessional/second rate/not as pretty is especially aimed towards people of color

    I got one other thing to say to those who say straight hair is better. "I wish I were just like you!" NOT!
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • Lady_CreoleLady_Creole Posts: 400Registered Users
    How impolite, weren't they raised with any manners? I would have complained to management, staff should be more professional than to insult customers even if they are only toddlers. Negative comments about appearance is part of what gives females especially complexes about their looks and it starts very young.

    I agree...I would have had to say something.

    I am the product of a Ethiopian/Cherokee Indian dad, and a French/Spanish Creole mom. When I had a perm, people always assumed my mom was Hispanic, when they saw her, or that one of my parents were Caucasian, when they didn't. I was acceptable...

    When I went natural, and came back to work many of my Caucasian and Hispanic friends stopped talking to me...just casual hellos. It strung but I got over it. I guess I was only acceptable when I embraced the parts that was "like them" however I made other friends that excepted me as I am.

    Here is my straight hair...[I will post a picture with my curly hair styled later today]...
    My hair is "exotic, beautiful and free",,,yeah, that be ME!!!
    3B/C - Easy to straighten, [no heat ever/no protect. styling].

    Low Porosity/Medium Density
    Mid Width/BSL-stretched/
    BC - 12/2012

    I am a "Co-Wash/Finger Comb Lady!
    Scalp Cleanser - SM ABS Purification Hair Masque
    Co-wash - Tresemme Naturals
    Hydration - SM CH
    Curl & Style Milk
    LOC - Organic Coconut Oil
    Styler - SM CH Curl Smoothie
    Deep Cond. - SM Yucca & Plantain Masque
  • Lady_CreoleLady_Creole Posts: 400Registered Users
    bobby wrote: »

    I got one other thing to say to those who say straight hair is better. "I wish I were just like you!" NOT!

    I have never wanted to be anything other than what and who I am. I LOVE my hair much more now than I ever did when it was straight. I had to miss out on too many things that I loved to keep it that way.

    Also, I find that curly hair suits me better...I am a free spirit, unconventional in many ways, and artsy...this compliments my flow...:glasses1:...LOL! And when it gets to my waist...watch out!!!
    My hair is "exotic, beautiful and free",,,yeah, that be ME!!!
    3B/C - Easy to straighten, [no heat ever/no protect. styling].

    Low Porosity/Medium Density
    Mid Width/BSL-stretched/
    BC - 12/2012

    I am a "Co-Wash/Finger Comb Lady!
    Scalp Cleanser - SM ABS Purification Hair Masque
    Co-wash - Tresemme Naturals
    Hydration - SM CH
    Curl & Style Milk
    LOC - Organic Coconut Oil
    Styler - SM CH Curl Smoothie
    Deep Cond. - SM Yucca & Plantain Masque
  • Lady_CreoleLady_Creole Posts: 400Registered Users
    It's crazy how people think they can say whatever they want about natural hair and not think its rude. This girl at my school once told me "no offense but I don't want my kids to have your hair" 1: it's still offensive even if you say no offense and 2: that crap is hurtful it can make even the strongest willed people upset

    SMH!!! Usually when people preference a statement with "No offense"...they are getting ready to say something offense. From now on stop them right there with...

    "Before you make your offensive comment examine yourself to see if you can handle my retort because I will have one"...then fold your arms and wait...with a slight smile!

    They will walk away!

    PS...change your name to "magical", "supreme", "wonderful", "beautiful", etc. curls...do not stigmatize yourself. Blessings!
    My hair is "exotic, beautiful and free",,,yeah, that be ME!!!
    3B/C - Easy to straighten, [no heat ever/no protect. styling].

    Low Porosity/Medium Density
    Mid Width/BSL-stretched/
    BC - 12/2012

    I am a "Co-Wash/Finger Comb Lady!
    Scalp Cleanser - SM ABS Purification Hair Masque
    Co-wash - Tresemme Naturals
    Hydration - SM CH
    Curl & Style Milk
    LOC - Organic Coconut Oil
    Styler - SM CH Curl Smoothie
    Deep Cond. - SM Yucca & Plantain Masque
  • DaniGirl88DaniGirl88 Posts: 1,583Registered Users
    People can be so rude sometimes!

    My husband's sister has a mixed daughter and everyone assumes that she's mine because I am mixed as well. They also assume that her mother couldn't have given birth to a child with such kinky/coily hair (her hair is about a 3c/4a and her mother's hair is "poker straight"). I don't understand people's thoughts or why they feel they have to voice their negative opinions. Now, she comes up to me and asks why her hair isn't straight and asks her mother to straighten it. She's 5!!! She shouldn't have negative feelings about herself at this age (or ever if I could help it).
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    3B, fine, normal porosity, high density, medium width and length
    Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle
    Co-Wash: As I Am Coconut Co-Wash
    Leave in Products: As I Am Leave-In, SM Smoothie/Milk, KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In
    Air Dry

    Looking for new products and methods to try!



  • GermanaijaGermanaija Posts: 44Registered Users
    That's so rude!! I would have complained. How dare anybody comment on their customers kids (she probably thought the baby was yours right?)

    My sister took her white side alot when it comes to hair, and me and the rest of my sisters took the black side. People always used to say my sister was lucky she had that hair and we were unlucky. You'd think it would be the opposite, but it gave her issues with her hair to. Trying to keep it "nice good hair" and straighter just caused so much heat damage. She's going curly again now though, yay :)

    I don't know why people feel they are allowed to just say stuff about other people's kids, especially about their appearance. So sad, just teaching kids from so young that they're meant to look a certain way or they'll be ugly.


    Sent from my C6903 using CurlTalk App
  • Curly SaraCurly Sara Posts: 183Registered Users
    bobby wrote: »
    I would have said "Lucky kid got her dad's hair"! I love afros and am jealous of those who have them.

    Jeep, believe me, I am glad that after all these years I love that I have one. There are days I shamelessly wear my purple pick in my hair. ;)

    XD
    Hair type/properties:
    3c hair, high porosity, mediumdensity, low elasticity, fine hair.

    Curly hair routine/regime:
    Combine the modified cg-method (low poo) and a modified tightly curly method.
    -Condition and leave in: Aubrey Organics, Giovanni Barzilian keratin and argan oil
    -Sealer: shea butter, Argan, olive and coconutoil
    -Gel: homemade flaxseed gel, Kinky curly custard, Queen Helene Curl royal shaping creme.
  • curlicious13curlicious13 Posts: 1,632Registered Users
    My friend & I talked about this last night. Hair and beauty as I called it. My friend is convinced, among black people at least, that we continue to believe in the European construct of beauty. Straight hair, blue eyes, & bean pole skinny. As such, others can't see the beauty in curly or kinky hair.
  • Lady_CreoleLady_Creole Posts: 400Registered Users
    Hi, All...

    Here are the pictures of my "curly hair"...[I got so busy yesterday that I forgot to post them then couldn't find the thread...LOL]!

    Please click on the pictures to enlarge, [just co-washed, mid-dry, and un-styled. Looks black because it is wet]:

    My Hair_1_MBs.jpg

    My Hair_2_MBs.jpg

    My Hair_3_MBs.jpg

    My Hair_4_MBs.jpg...I stretched a strand to show the length now, [which is longer than when I did the BC in Dec. 2012].

    I am loving my curly hair.
    My hair is "exotic, beautiful and free",,,yeah, that be ME!!!
    3B/C - Easy to straighten, [no heat ever/no protect. styling].

    Low Porosity/Medium Density
    Mid Width/BSL-stretched/
    BC - 12/2012

    I am a "Co-Wash/Finger Comb Lady!
    Scalp Cleanser - SM ABS Purification Hair Masque
    Co-wash - Tresemme Naturals
    Hydration - SM CH
    Curl & Style Milk
    LOC - Organic Coconut Oil
    Styler - SM CH Curl Smoothie
    Deep Cond. - SM Yucca & Plantain Masque
  • KinkyCoilyCurlsKinkyCoilyCurls Posts: 95Registered Users
    Wow, that comment was extremely rude. Why should she be pitied? Why is it a pity that she doesn't have straight hair? You can have a preference of what you like on your own head, but there is no need to force that opinion on to others especially when she's going to get it from the media anyway.
    Goosefootprint Analysis:
    Hair Strand Thickness
    Root: Fine - Medium Midshaft: Medium Ends: Slightly Coarse

    Hair Elasticity Dry: Normal

    Hair Elasticity Wet: Low

    Porosity
    Roots: Low Midshaft & Ends: Mixture of Normal & Porous
  • russianprncssrussianprncss Posts: 450Registered Users
    Yeah, people are super rude...

    I can empathize as my family all has straight hair except for me and they make fun of all the rituals I do to keep my hair looking its best. They also always tell me how good it looks when it's straight. I just want to scream at them, because honestly, I feel like when I wear straight hair I look like everyone else. I finally told my boyfriend (who also has hair curlier than mine) to never let me straighten my hair again.

    All kinds of hair are beautiful and we should embrace the individuality each strand of hair brings us.
    2C/3A; very, very thick fine to medium hair; low porosity.

    Current Products:
    Co-Wash: As I Am Cleansing Co-Wash
    Conditioner: Shea Moisture Tahitian Masque, Aubrey Organics GPB, Shea Moisture
    Leave-In: Coffee Coco Curl Creme, Coffee Coco Curl Creme Lite
    Stylers: Mop Top Curl Custard, Shea Moisture Curl Custard[/FONT]

    "Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." -Khalil Gibran