CurlTalk

Hair Appointment Anxiety

I have a hair appointment today, and I am really nervous.

I have been going to my stylist for about a year, and she has never given me a bad haircut. She even special-orders CF products just for me, because she switched product lines to a brand that conducts animal testing a few months after I started seeing her. She has been honest with me about what my hair will and won't do and the best ways to meet my hair goals. I have been so happy with her services that I have referred three people to her.

So what's the problem? Several months ago, I mentioned that I wanted a wash-and-go hairstyle. "No more heat styling," I said. She was visibly dismayed and we went with a flattering cut that was maintained with round-brush blow-drying. Fast-forward to now, and I want what I wanted then- a great cut that requires no heat styling. And I mean it this time. I am giving my hair a break from hair dryers for several months until it is deliciously moist and bouncy.

But I don't have a high degree of confidence in her ability to give me a good air-dry cut for my curls. I asked for her advice at the onset of my experimentation, to give her some time to figure out how to best help me, but what I got didn't inspire a lot of confidence. When I read back through it now, it makes sense:

"As for your curl it's just trail by error with style and products. Trust me you will know what works best when you find it, but also trust me when I say it is so hard to reduplicate a curly look. I swear when I find a way to do my waves one day and then do exactly the same the next it is not the same, SO FRUSTRATING. But just keep playing with it and curls don;t have to look perfect just remember that. We get used to styling and making it do what we want, but always remember curls have a mind of their own so less touch the better. Let me know how it is going and if you have any other questions."

I keep going back and forth as to whether I should just let her do my color and get a cut somewhere else that has a "curly specialist." She knows my hair well and has given me such good results in the past, though, that I just don't know what to do:

Should I get a cut from her and be firm about exactly what I want?
Or should I not chance it and find someone else even though she has taken great care of me?

I'd appreciate an outside perspective. Please tell me if I'm just being a paranoid drama queen.
Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

Currently fiddling with:
debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:

Comments

  • curlypearlcurlypearl Posts: 11,970Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Hi MsWhimsy, I'm afraid I don't know what to suggest, but wanted to reassure you - you are not being a paranoid drama queen! Haircuts are very nerve wracking because we wear them every single day. It's not like you can switch to a different pair of shoes or different make-up.

    Hope you have a good experience whatever you decide. Please post back and let us know how it went.:thumbup:
    2/c Coarse hair med. density.
    Highly porous. Color over grey.
    I love all the Curl Junkie products. Still experimenting with gels and curl creams. Still hoping for 2nd day hair....
    Every day is a gift :flower:
  • JessiebananaJessiebanana Posts: 940Banned Users
    I would get another stylist who actually listens to you, you are paying them.

    Chill...it's just hair. It grows back and a bad haircut isn't a big deal even in the worse case scenario.
    3C/Fine to Medium/Low Porosity/High Density

    :love5:MoistureMoistureMoisture:love5:

    Low Poo: CJ Gentle Cleansing Shampoo
    RO/DC: DB Pumpkin Seed Curl Moisturizing Conditioner
    LI: CJ Smoothing Lotion
    Styler: Queen Helene Sculpturing Gel & Glaze

    No Salts, No Waxes, No Butters, No Heavy Oils
    No ACV, No Saponified Oils, Protein Sensitive
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,088Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    on the plus side, she seems open and honest. so be totally honest and tell her you absolutely don't want to heat style your hair, does she think she can work with your hair to make that do able? if so, how will she cut it and how will it look when she is done?
    then, go with your instincts.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:cj conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: cj aloe fix gel, cj pattern pusha, cj honey butta leave in, cj cccc, cj ciab.
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    Curlypearl and rbb, thanks for the reassurances. I will take your suggestions. My appointment is this evening, but I will definitely post and update (and maybe even photos!) when it's over. It have only had a couple of stylists who were able to get my hair to look decent at all, and as my current stylist is one of them, I will remeind myself that trusting her has never let me down in the past.

    Jessiebanana, thanks for the reality check. I've done some pretty horrific things to my hair in the past, so I'm no stranger to starting over from pixie if things go horribly awry. If I don't have to shave everything and start over, I will consider it at least a partial victory.

    :)
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:
  • kathymackkathymack Posts: 9,999Registered Users
    I'd give her a chance to work with you, as she has in the past.

    Have you read this thread? http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/salon-stylist-chatter/76806-what-should-i-tell-my-stylist.html It might have something that would help you communicate with her.
    3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
    SE PA

    HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Aloe Fix
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    Thanks, kathymack. I did read through it and made several notes from it and various articles about how to get a good curly haircut.

    Ultimately I did not have the guts to demand things like "no greater than a 45-degree hair angle" and I instead showed her a bunch of photos of hair I liked, hair I didn't like, and my hair over the past two weeks. I asked for more room for curls to define themselves, more volume around the crown, and something that would grow out gracefully. She asked me to trust her, and I ended up with more or less exactly what I want- no small feat since two of the photos I showed her were Rihanna's wigs, and any other stylist would probably have me shot for asking for her to make my hair look like Rihanna's wig three times in a row. :)

    She might not bill herself as a curl specialist, but she certainly knows my hair, and I am glad that I went to her for this cut.
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:
  • NelekeNeleke Posts: 456Registered Users
    now I definitely want to see a picture ^^
    2c: fine texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity, normal-high density
    CG since March 8th 2013
    Low Poo: Rainforest Radiance shampoo
    Conditioner: Yes to Cucumbers
    Styler: BRHG, Garnier Fructis Gel
    PT: Gliss Kur Repair & Volume

    iherb.com: get a 5$ discount on orders under 40$ or a 10$ discount on orders over 40$ when you order for your first order by using the following discount code: CFH441
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    Neleke wrote: »
    now I definitely want to see a picture ^^

    Argh, that's the thing. It really SEEMED like it was exactly what I wanted. I went in having the best curly-hair day ever (okay, maybe not ever, but a personal top three at least) and left really happy with it partially diffuser-dried. I made it clear that I really wanted my hair to recover from the heat damage I've done to it, so she didn't torture me with a full blow-out.

    She told me that if I didn't like the cut, I could come back anytime and have her fix what I disliked. I love her for it, and my hair was consistently awesome every time she had cut it in a blow-dry round-brush style. I am really disappointed to say that, since then, I have not had a single good hair day and I have no idea why not.

    I can't put my finger on exactly what is wrong, so I don't know what to tell her to fix. I am going to type up a whole 'nother long post about it here shortly. I'd post a photo for you, but I had been waiting for the stars to align and my hair to do right, but it just hasn't happened. At all. :confused:
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:
  • Firefox7275Firefox7275 Posts: 3,750Registered Users
    Without a picture it's impossible to help. You don't have to show your face, blank that out in Photoshop if you know how, or hold a book over your face or only take side and rear shots.
    2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

    CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
    Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
    Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
    Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
    Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
    Experimenting with: benign neglect
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,088Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    maybe she only can cut hair for heat styling? so if you heat style it, it looks fine, but air drying/diffusing doesn't work?
    you might need to find a stylist who truly does know how to cut curly hair.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:cj conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: cj aloe fix gel, cj pattern pusha, cj honey butta leave in, cj cccc, cj ciab.
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    Precut.jpg was a typical hair day before the cut.

    Besthairday.jpg was the morning of the cut- and I had never been so excited about my hair.

    Blehtoday and bleh 2 were taken a few minutes ago.

    I will post photos of the bottom layer in a separate post, because I have run out of uploads for this one.
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    I was holding up the frizzy gross top layers to show off the corkscrews when I took these photos.
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    rbb wrote: »
    maybe she only can cut hair for heat styling? so if you heat style it, it looks fine, but air drying/diffusing doesn't work?
    you might need to find a stylist who truly does know how to cut curly hair.

    I sadly suspect that you are right, so I have booked an appointment with a curl specialist in my general area (about 45 minutes away, actually) to see if I can get something better.
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,088Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    mswhimsy wrote: »
    rbb wrote: »
    maybe she only can cut hair for heat styling? so if you heat style it, it looks fine, but air drying/diffusing doesn't work?
    you might need to find a stylist who truly does know how to cut curly hair.

    I sadly suspect that you are right, so I have booked an appointment with a curl specialist in my general area (about 45 minutes away, actually) to see if I can get something better.

    good luck! and trust your instincts! let us know how it turns out.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:cj conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: cj aloe fix gel, cj pattern pusha, cj honey butta leave in, cj cccc, cj ciab.
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • JessiebananaJessiebanana Posts: 940Banned Users
    Ugh, ew....what did she do to your hair? It was so pretty before. It's hard to believe a cut did all that. Did she use a razor?

    It's definitely time to go to someone new. It seemed like she wasn't confident or qualified to cut curly hair and now you have the proof.
    3C/Fine to Medium/Low Porosity/High Density

    :love5:MoistureMoistureMoisture:love5:

    Low Poo: CJ Gentle Cleansing Shampoo
    RO/DC: DB Pumpkin Seed Curl Moisturizing Conditioner
    LI: CJ Smoothing Lotion
    Styler: Queen Helene Sculpturing Gel & Glaze

    No Salts, No Waxes, No Butters, No Heavy Oils
    No ACV, No Saponified Oils, Protein Sensitive
  • Firefox7275Firefox7275 Posts: 3,750Registered Users
    Perhaps it is simply too short for your curl pattern on the canopy, you need a certain amount of length to get a couple of full rotations. Also it's tough to get clumping close to the roots without getting greasy looking hair.

    Otherwise is it possible there is residue from a product she used still on your hair? Have you tried clarifying?
    2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

    CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
    Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
    Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
    Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
    Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
    Experimenting with: benign neglect
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    mswhimsy, if you search under "The saga of the stylist", you will find my similar struggles. I went to the same salon for over 10 years, one gal cut my hair and the other colored it. In the end, there were many things "wrong" that did not work for me; but the overarching issue, I believe, was that these gals were coasting. They had zero interest in learning more about the care and feeding of curls. The gal who cut my hair cut it wet; she rubbed it with a terry towel; she didnt like conditioner so she did not use it on me; and there was no diffuser in the entire salon. I decided I was done, that I needed to find someone who could manage my hair, respected my knowledge, and liked learning. It took me several trials to find Amber. I hardly ever get my hair cut now; she just snips it here and there, and my hair is much better now.

    I might suggest you look at the salon finder here, and set up consults with curly stylists until you find one you think you can work with.
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    Ugh, ew....what did she do to your hair? It was so pretty before. It's hard to believe a cut did all that. Did she use a razor?

    Nope, no razor, just scissors. It seemed like the was picking out pieces and cutting them together diagonally to encourage clump formation, but it just didn't work out that way once it dried. I did have my first good hair day on Friday, the day after I posted this. I finally caved and bought Lorraine Massey's book, read it, and used the prescribed methods. Then when I looked closely at the ingredients list for the Ouidad Climate Control, I realized that it has double 'cones. Now I need to re-research to figure out whether that is something I can live with. I didn't get results as good yesterday with the same methods and Deva products, but I mixed a curl cream with the gel and I had to unclip before it was totally dry (I had a wedding to attend and hoped it would finish air-drying in the car on the way, which it didn't). I liked what happened yesterday as well, I just didn't have as much hold or definition which makes sense, given the variances. I will post photos OK nice I've edited out my face.
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    Myrna wrote: »
    mswhimsy, if you search under "The saga of the stylist", you will find my similar struggles. I went to the same salon for over 10 years, one gal cut my hair and the other colored it. In the end, there were many things "wrong" that did not work for me; but the overarching issue, I believe, was that these gals were coasting. They had zero interest in learning more about the care and feeding of curls. The gal who cut my hair cut it wet; she rubbed it with a terry towel; she didnt like conditioner so she did not use it on me; and there was no diffuser in the entire salon. I decided I was done, that I needed to find someone who could manage my hair, respected my knowledge, and liked learning. It took me several trials to find Amber. I hardly ever get my hair cut now; she just snips it here and there, and my hair is much better now.

    I might suggest you look at the salon finder here, and set up consults with curly stylists until you find one you think you can work with.


    Myrna, it feels good to know that I'm not alone in struggling to find the right hair doctor. I sincerely believe that my stylists's problem is simply ignorance and a lack of experience with clients who want to wear their hair curly. She has gone out of her way to accommodate me in various ways (special-ordering dye for me because she switched to a color line that tests on animals), and I genuinely like her as a person. I have felt alternately guilty and frustrated since even before that appointment. I think she even wants to learn more about dealing with curls. I'm just not sure that I'm along for the ride.

    I made an appointment for a consult at a salon called Curltopia. I discovered it through the salon finder on this site. They use Massey's products and methods, so I have high hopes that I will find what I am looking for there. If my first Devacut is as good as yours, I'll consider it a victory.
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Mswhimsy: Like many here, when I decided my hair needed serious help, I wound up at a salon that has a lot of Deva "specialists". I left each time frustrated with hair that felt like a brillo pad or cotton candy. So, like many others here, I eventually found my own products (I dont like any of the Deva products except for the styling foam, which I think is exceptional). I use the general method of no sulfates or cones, and blotting my hair to squeeze out extra moisture; I make sure it is moisturized, which is different for everyone; and I let it air dry whenever possible, and I dont every brush or comb it. Be careful with the Deva salons; one of my former Deva stylists looked at my products, and kind of sniffed at the "alcohol" in the conditioner (steatyl alcohol, which is not like rubbing alcohol); and actually is in Deva products as well. So I didnt appreciate her lack of knowledge, and acting as if I didnt know jack. I do think you former stylist, like the gals I had for over 10 years, were well intended but essentially lazy; they had their clientele and were not really interested in learning any thing new. I cannot count the number of times I mentioned this site to them. My stylist now knows about this site, and she respects my knowledge as well.

    I am sorry that stylists do not, as a general rule, get training in dealing with curls (although that is changing); but it is not your job to educate your stylist about the needs of your hair, no matter how nice she is . That is the conclusion I came to with my "team" of over 10 years. Nice gals - just not what I needed any more. I wrote them a nice note thanking them for their services, but explained that my schedule and my needs have changed. Maybe they will think about what that means, as well they should. So should your stylist.
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    Myrna wrote: »
    I am sorry that stylists do not, as a general rule, get training in dealing with curls (although that is changing); but it is not your job to educate your stylist about the needs of your hair, no matter how nice she is

    You know, I think this tough love is exactly what I needed. I did find a couple of your stylist saga threads, and I read through them, but it sounds like I might have missed a few. You are absolutely right; I can't take responsibility for educating my stylist. I had shopped around for a few years prior to find one that could deal with my hair at all, and I suppose a large part of my hesitation comes from remembering how difficult it was to find someone that could make my hair "do right" under any circumstances.

    Going curly means that what I need from a stylist has changed, so it's time to go searching again. I will arm myself with knowledge and trust my intuition.
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,332Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Look at it this way: I am a psychotherapist. If someone is depressed, I dont expect him or her to educate me about depression in general ("I dont expect to have to educate my stylist about working with curly clients".) I DO anticipate my clients to tell me about his or her depression; what it feels like, how it effects them). Its my job to listen and make helpful suggestions. If someone comes to me with an issue I know nothing about, or feel I cannot handle well because I am lacking knowledge, or for whatever reason, I cannot do their concerns justice, it is my responsibility to say so and refer appropriately.

    Hope that helps.

    Another thing: I think we need to appreciate our stylists when then do a good job, but they are not our best friends. We dont generally socialize with them. We dont buy them birthday gifts, they provide us with a service. It that service does not meet your needs or expectations - how you feel about her as a person should not be part of the equation. You are paying her to do your hair, not to have a "nice" relationship with you. But I understand, it took me a while to break up with my former stylist and colorist.
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    Perhaps it is simply too short for your curl pattern on the canopy, you need a certain amount of length to get a couple of full rotations. Also it's tough to get clumping close to the roots without getting greasy looking hair.

    Otherwise is it possible there is residue from a product she used still on your hair? Have you tried clarifying?

    I had a huge reply typed out but my tablet's battery died just before I submitted it. Just as well, I have since realized that it was a lot of Stockholm Syndrome rhetoric.

    I insisted that she use only the DC products I had brought with me, so any buildup I might have is entirely due to my own experimentation. I haven't used a clarifying shampoo, but I have stepped up usage of my Watercolors cleanser, which uses the cocowhatsit betadinesomething. It seems to work pretty well. I have had a couple of better hair days since my last complaint, but I am back in research mode since discovering that the Ouidad CC that gave me deliciously shiny coils was double dimethiconed.

    My long-term hair goals are really just to find a regimen that works consistently to make my hair look good, and grow it out to shoulder blade length. (I think many people here abbreviate that as BSL for "bra strap length," but as pitbull advocacy is another of my passions, that acronym is negatively associated with the phrase "breed-specific legislation", which almost always means a ban on dogs that look like pit bulls, so I prefer to avoid the acronym altogether.) I would like it to be healthy and pretty. I know several women in their mid-40s whose hair is thin and dull, and I suspect that decades of screwing with it are largely responsible. Since I am in my early 30s, I am hopeful that there is still time for my hair to recover and live up to its full potential.

    So yeah, find something that is easy and consistently effective which will allow growing out while minimizing long-term damage. It sounds so easy on paper...

    I will update after tomorrow's consultation.
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2:
  • mswhimsymswhimsy Posts: 45Registered Users
    Myrna wrote: »
    Look at it this way: I am a psychotherapist. If someone is depressed, I dont expect him or her to educate me about depression in general ("I dont expect to have to educate my stylist about working with curly clients".) I DO anticipate my clients to tell me about his or her depression; what it feels like, how it effects them). Its my job to listen and make helpful suggestions. If someone comes to me with an issue I know nothing about, or feel I cannot handle well because I am lacking knowledge, or for whatever reason, I cannot do their concerns justice, it is my responsibility to say so and refer appropriately.

    Hope that helps.

    Another thing: I think we need to appreciate our stylists when then do a good job, but they are not our best friends. We dont generally socialize with them. We dont buy them birthday gifts, they provide us with a service. It that service does not meet your needs or expectations - how you feel about her as a person should not be part of the equation. You are paying her to do your hair, not to have a "nice" relationship with you. But I understand, it took me a while to break up with my former stylist and colorist.

    You are entirely right. I have broken up with men, therapists, cell phone companies, and even banks for much smaller transgressions. I am not sure what it is about hair care that makes the prospect of moving on so much more difficult. Perhaps it is simply that I don't trust my own judgment enough to be confident that I can make the right decision or maybe it's just fear of moving on. I will work on composing a checklist for my appointment tomorrow, and actually use it this time. Thank you for your sage advice.
    Medium texture, Normal porosity, medium density, textures run the gamut from 2a-3c. Artificially red.

    Currently fiddling with:
    debatably-poo: DCNP, Tressa Watercolors (Crimson Splash)
    cw&c: DevaCare, Heaven in Hair, Ouidad Climate Control
    leave-in: Lush R&B Hair Moisturizer, some of above, EVCO
    product: DC FFVF, DC AnGel, DCCC, OCC, JCCC, JCRR, 3SCG

    I'm a terrible product junkie but I don't buy or use anything that's tested on animals. :hippy2: