Styling Products Are Ruining My Hair?

Hey, curlies!
I have been CG for a while now and it has been going GREAT! But I think styling products are ruining my hair...

Before I went CG, I often faked healthy hair with use of silicones and what-not, but really my hair was suffocating. After hearing about CG, I went and got myself a haircut. My hair was GREAT and healthy for awhile. But now with non-silicone products my hair is dull, breaking/falling out, and seems very straw-like.

One day I wasn't going anywhere, so I just used my leave-in (Shea Moisture Raw Restorative Conditioner) and put it up in a ponytail. My hair was super shiny, soft, and I noticed I didn't have quite as much fall-out the next day when I detangled...

I'm hesitant to use just condish when my hair is down, though. I'm afraid I'll frizz!

Oh! And I forgot to mention... My hair gets very crunchy with even the lightest of gels/mousses and it won't scrunch out...? Then, when I use just curl creams I tend to get some frizz. My mom and older sister (I am 17) are always like "Why do you always put that junk in your hair? It is beautiful the way it is! You're just paranoid!"

I am the only one in my family with curly hair and they love it. Every one else's is straight or barely wavy. If one of my family members could switch hair textures with me, they would let it be a poofy mess and be happy! LOL.

I'm stuck guys. What do I do?

(Here are my hair's properties)

Type: 2C
Width: Fine
Porosity: Medium
Density: Medium
Length: Shoulders.

(Here is my routine)

I usually just use Shea Moisture Restorative Conditioner. I leave it on for a couple of minutes, detangle, rinse with cool water, squeeze out the excess, then put another pump as a leave-in. Then I will add my styler. (what product I use is just whatever I reach for. I have a lot of them.)

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