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For New Moms who are overwhelmed! Baby Sleep Advice Rant.

inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Posts: 2,954Registered Users
Okay, so I found this rant very funny. The Today show printed the rant that was written. I felt this way with my son. He did not sleep through the night no matter what I tried. He was about a week old when my sister called...gave me 30 minutes of advice...I just sat there and silently cried because I was so overwelmed...I could hardly say goodbye. I never did tell her because she would have felt horrible...but how this lady felt...was me except thankfully I didn't have twins.

Exhausted new mom's hilarious take on 'expert' sleep advice goes viral - TODAY.com
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  • Jenny CJenny C Posts: 1,195Registered Users
    It's really true, there is so much conflicting advice. If there were ONE method that worked, we'd all be using it.
    If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
  • FieryCurlsFieryCurls Posts: 2,904Registered Users
    Yep. I learned very quickly to listen to what my daughter was telling me instead of going with expert advice. That meant she was a stomach sleeper. My son has slept on his stomach since the night that he came home from the hospital AND he has had a blanket.
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  • YoshimiYoshimi Posts: 237Registered Users
    I'm expecting my first in a couple of months, as are a number of friends, and we had a good giggle over this the other day, there was a similar one a few months back about things you can do when you're pregnant too.

    I have pretty much refused to read any advice on sleep or breast feeding in the last two months, and have been working on forgetting everything I read before that in preparation for the birth. I think ill be happier being ignorant :P

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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    I liked researching and getting advice on how to get babies to sleep. I took the pearls of wisdom and discarded everything else, but it was nice to have an arsenal of information to fall back on when something didn't work for a particular baby...I was able to just try something else. I think it all depends on how interested you are in getting good sleep. I was VERY interested, and focused my whole attention on it during the early weeks with each new baby. I can say with confidence that I AM an expert on getting new babies to sleep through the night. I don't inflict that on people who don't want to know though. But, at the same time, I'm very disinterested in hearing "how tired" you are and how you have the only-baby-in-the-world who won't sleep. Nonsense. They will all sleep.
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,937Registered Users
    Your babies are not the only babies, and not all babies are like yours.
  • YoshimiYoshimi Posts: 237Registered Users
    Surely she has a point though, all babies must sleep. My mum works on a children's hospital and somehow the nurses manage to get even sick babies to sleep.(from this I have learnt some valuable lessons before my baby is born, like if you start rocking a baby to sleep when it comes home, you will be rocking every night for a very long time).

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  • YoshimiYoshimi Posts: 237Registered Users
    (before anyone feels the need to point it out I am well aware that I am currently blissfully ignorant, but I am trying to hold on to my illusions for as long as possible. You can say "i told you so" to your hearts content in around 7 weeks)

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    Weekly gelatin protien treatments.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote: »
    Your babies are not the only babies, and not all babies are like yours.



    I've been around more babies than just my own. I babysat for a living, and I have a lot of family. ALL babies can sleep.
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,937Registered Users
    Yes, yes. You know everything. We've been down this road before. Maybe I just had the one odd baby in the whole world but please believe me, there was no CIO, bedtime routine, or drug that would make that child sleep through the night. Rocking all night, walking the floors, nothing. She. Did. Not. Sleep.

    I know it's REALLY hard to believe, but there are things outside of your experience and they are still true things.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    I don't know everything. How silly.

    I do know how to get babies to sleep though.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote: »
    I know it's REALLY hard to believe, but there are things outside of your experience and they are still true things.

    QFTMFT
  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Posts: 2,954Registered Users
    AHHHHHH!! I did not post this to start an arguement...I posted it to be funny! To me it is funny because of all the advice is so different...and yes it can overwhelm a new mom.

    CGNYC, If you had the first child...I had the second one. I tried all the advice..and Chas did not sleep through the night once until he was 18 months....and was not consistent until after age of 2. My daughter...slept 5 hours after having her home for 2 weeks...

    RCW, you have had some awesome success....you should consider being a baby nurse... I swear in some sleep book this lady talked about being a baby nurse I think...going into homes in Britain to help moms with issues after the baby came home. I would have loved to have that...I didn't have the breastfeeding issues...but sleep issues is another story.
  • webjockeywebjockey Posts: 2,786Registered Users
    I loved the rant. The issue I had with all of my kids is that the person who watches my babies was excellent at getting them to sleep and would get them to sleep most of the hours I was working. Less sleep for me. Luckily, I can function well with little sleep.

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  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    Yoshimi wrote: »
    (from this I have learnt some valuable lessons before my baby is born, like if you start rocking a baby to sleep when it comes home, you will be rocking every night for a very long time).

    Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G using CurlTalk App

    This is true! My sister was rocking her kids to sleep when they were 4 and 5 years old. It took 45 min+ each night. My SIL co-sleeps with her 9yo and 2yo daughters because that's how she's always done it. ...And 50% of her FB posts are about how tired and sleep-deprived she is. I don't claim to be a baby-sleeping expert, but I think it's best not to start a habit or sleep routine that you don't want to continue for years.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    sarah42 wrote: »
    My SIL co-sleeps with her 9yo and 2yo daughters because that's how she's always done it. ...And 50% of her FB posts are about how tired and sleep-deprived she is.



    I have no patience for that. It's fine to sleep with your kids, or to stay up all night with them, if that's what you think is best, but don't complain about it. The rest of us don't want to hear about your martyrdom.
  • webjockeywebjockey Posts: 2,786Registered Users
    I have a soft spot for moms who complain about lack of sleep. I didn't know a damn thing about children, babies and it sure doesn't come naturally to me. Some people are better at figuring this stuff out than others.

    I very much identify with the feeling of trying everything, finally figuring out something that works and sticking with it even though it isn't an optimal sleep solution for me. It was that little victory after many failures that was worth the compromise. And trying something new after a series of failures can seem like a really scary proposition when you have little support system to help you out when you want to do something different.

    If it wasn't for my leap of faith (at least it felt like a leap of faith at the time - lol) I probably would still be co-sleeping with my 6&4yr old because hubby was very much ok with co-sleeping for a really long time and wasn't as interested in getting the boys in their own room.

    The last thing mothers need is to be kicked when they are down and vulnerable for lack of sleep - whether or not it is of their own doing, ignorance, or not.
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  • cosmicflycosmicfly Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    I think I've told you all this before, but: my first baby would not sleep, but he was pleasant enough about it. He woke every 2 hours for 18 months no matter what- he didn't always cry though. I think that was worse in the long run than having a baby who fights falling asleep- having your sleep constantly interrupted. . My middle child slept 6 hours from birth- I was afraid something was wrong with her. My youngest child is almost 5 and still fights falling asleep every night, although once asleep, he was a decent sleeper from a fairly young age.
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,937Registered Users
    sarah42 wrote: »
    My SIL co-sleeps with her 9yo and 2yo daughters because that's how she's always done it. ...And 50% of her FB posts are about how tired and sleep-deprived she is.



    I have no patience for that. It's fine to sleep with your kids, or to stay up all night with them, if that's what you think is best, but don't complain about it. The rest of us don't want to hear about your martyrdom.

    Well the rest of US really enjoy your pleasant helpful disposition.

    Some babies don't sleep. Sometimes, there's just not a solution and you have to wait it out. It sucks, but there it is. No amount of CIO or co sleeping or bedtime routine or going to bed early or staying up late or white noise machines or anything else help. I mean, I guess I could've just stopped responding but that wouldn't have made my baby (or two year old) stop throwing up or screaming...and it would've made me a pretty crappy mom.
  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Posts: 2,954Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote: »
    Some babies don't sleep. Sometimes, there's just not a solution and you have to wait it out. It sucks, but there it is. No amount of CIO or co sleeping or bedtime routine or going to bed early or staying up late or white noise machines or anything else help. I mean, I guess I could've just stopped responding but that wouldn't have made my baby (or two year old) stop throwing up or screaming...and it would've made me a pretty crappy mom.


    Yup, I had to wait it out with Chas...although I didn't co-sleep (which I'm glad because a friend who did...still has her 7 year old sleeping with her). My husband thanks me a lot for sticking to my guns on that one. ...2 years seem the magic number for him...or maybe it was not being the only child. LOL
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,937Registered Users
    I would have co slept if it had helped. Desperate times!
  • Jess the MessJess the Mess Posts: 5,844Registered Users
    I don't know. I tend to agree with RCW on this one. I have 2 kids of my own and I baby sit my nephews who are turning 1. Routines and sleepy clues work. Finding what is right for each baby works. With DD it was a little rocking, DS needed to work it out on his own, N1 needs quiet time, N2 does it alone like DS did. I needed and still need time to do other house stuff. I'm not about to spend all day rocking babies and refusing to vacuum because they don't sleep well.
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  • fonkifonki Posts: 353Registered Users
    sarah42 wrote: »
    My SIL co-sleeps with her 9yo and 2yo daughters because that's how she's always done it. ...And 50% of her FB posts are about how tired and sleep-deprived she is.



    I have no patience for that. It's fine to sleep with your kids, or to stay up all night with them, if that's what you think is best, but don't complain about it. The rest of us don't want to hear about your martyrdom.

    Speak for yourself. I love hearing new born stories, empathising, sympathising, identifying other people's experiences with my own & noting the similarities and differences.

    It amazes me to no end how similar babies can be and yet each baby is so different each an every one is.

    I think mums with new borns are entitled to a good whinge. So if anyone wants to have a whinge about lack of sleep or anything else - it won't fall on deaf ears. Whinge away!
  • scrillsscrills Posts: 6,700Registered Users
    I don't know. I tend to agree with RCW on this one. I have 2 kids of my own and I baby sit my nephews who are turning 1. Routines and sleepy clues work. Finding what is right for each baby works. With DD it was a little rocking, DS needed to work it out on his own, N1 needs quiet time, N2 does it alone like DS did. I needed and still need time to do other house stuff. I'm not about to spend all day rocking babies and refusing to vacuum because they don't sleep well.

    Agreed. and it's not like RCW said every can sleep 12 hours a night. She just said every baby sleeps. That's kinda a fact of life. Everyone needs sleep.

    Funny post. Thanks for sharing. We were just having this conversation last night at a Sip and See.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I coslept w/ both kids until they were each 3 y/o. They slept like rocks. And still do. But they sometimes still wake up in my bed, and they are 8 and 5. And I kind of like it. (Is that bad? LOL)

    I broke a lot of the baby advice du jour. And they were fine.

    I really disreagarded the whole bedtime thing w/ baby #1. I just didn't want to put her "away" for the night.

    But yeah, I was LOLing at the article. So true!

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    scrills wrote: »
    and it's not like RCW said every can sleep 12 hours a night. She just said every baby sleeps. That's kinda a fact of life. Everyone needs sleep.



    Almost all babies come out with their days/nights mixed up and sleeping only a few minutes at a time. It's what they do in the womb. It's our job as parents to gradually shape and stretch out those diffuse sleep cycles into a semblance of something we can live with. It can be done with ALL babies. How to get there varies from kid to kid...and that's where the skill lies.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    scrills wrote: »
    I don't know. I tend to agree with RCW on this one. I have 2 kids of my own and I baby sit my nephews who are turning 1. Routines and sleepy clues work. Finding what is right for each baby works. With DD it was a little rocking, DS needed to work it out on his own, N1 needs quiet time, N2 does it alone like DS did. I needed and still need time to do other house stuff. I'm not about to spend all day rocking babies and refusing to vacuum because they don't sleep well.

    Agreed. and it's not like RCW said every can sleep 12 hours a night. She just said every baby sleeps. That's kinda a fact of life. Everyone needs sleep.

    Funny post. Thanks for sharing. We were just having this conversation last night at a Sip and See.

    They're talking about sleeping thru the night. Not necessarily 12 hrs but a good stretch.

  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,937Registered Users
    scrills wrote: »
    and it's not like RCW said every can sleep 12 hours a night. She just said every baby sleeps. That's kinda a fact of life. Everyone needs sleep.



    Almost all babies come out with their days/nights mixed up and sleeping only a few minutes at a time. It's what they do in the womb. It's our job as parents to gradually shape and stretch out those diffuse sleep cycles into a semblance of something we can live with. It can be done with ALL babies. How to get there varies from kid to kid...and that's where the skill lies.

    No, really. For some kids, there is no solution but time.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote: »
    scrills wrote: »
    and it's not like RCW said every can sleep 12 hours a night. She just said every baby sleeps. That's kinda a fact of life. Everyone needs sleep.



    Almost all babies come out with their days/nights mixed up and sleeping only a few minutes at a time. It's what they do in the womb. It's our job as parents to gradually shape and stretch out those diffuse sleep cycles into a semblance of something we can live with. It can be done with ALL babies. How to get there varies from kid to kid...and that's where the skill lies.

    No, really. For some kids, there is no solution but time.



    Sure, it takes time. Several weeks...or a few months. The shaping is gradual. It doesn't take years.
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    I did everything right with my daughter. I actually followed your advice, RCW. Sleepy cues, bedtimes routines, putting her in her crib awake. She was falling asleep on her own at 3 or 4 months with little fuss. And waking up every 2-3 hours and not going back to sleep without nursing. After nursing I could put her down awake and she would go to sleep instantly (and then wake up again in 2-3 hours) I finally resorted to CIO/Ferber and it would work (after 3-4 days of screaming hell) and she would sleep through most of the night for 2 weeks, until she started cutting another tooth, or learned to stand up or whatever. I went through this cycle 3 or 4 times until I decided that the solution was worse than the problem and just decided to go with it. She started to sleep through the whole night on her own at 15 months. So yeah, some babies really do need time.

    My son was the opposite. Impossible to get down for the night, but once he was down he would sleep for 8 hours, eat and sleep for 3 more. I did not know how to gently train him to fall asleep on his own so we did Ferber and it worked the first time. When he was 9 months old we decided to see what would happen to the 4 am waking if dad (who had no milk) went to see him instead of me. He went back to sleep easily, did the same thing the next night and on the third night did not bother waking up for dad.

    Babies are different. Some really do need more time.
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  • danicajackdanicajack Posts: 1Registered Users
    Many babies have problem in sleeping because whenever wake up they needs someone to paly with them rigth..So the best thing we can do is either get them some toys that may be entertaining for the infants may be some sort of a baby bouncers or something !!!!!
    So that if baby gets up at any odd time there would be something for them to play with..and will definitely go to sleep whenever gets bored!!!! icon6.gif:blob2:
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