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Feeling depressed again
Been feeling pretty depressed the last few days. I'd like to vent a little here, and hopefully get some words of encouragement. I've had depression since I was 12. I usually have a stagnant depression but with periods of lows and this is one of them. I'm feeling my usual feelings during these times... Lonely, miserable, ugly, unloveable, worried about the future, u name it. I don't really have any friends,1 or 2 at most, and every year I find myself more and more lonely. I pretty much want to die. No, I'm not going to try anything, it's more like a "I wish I were never born" feeling. No one would care if I did die anyway. I've tried 7 medications so I really don't want to try anymore. I'm worried that I will feel like this the rest of my life, and spend my life alone and depressed and with nothing to look forward to other than coming home to my dog. Can anyone relate? I'm really very tired of having such low self esteem. I think it's where a majority of my issues stem. I've never had a real boyfriend, just guys who used me and dropped me when something better looking came along. I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone, and that's why I am alone. I feel like this is life's way of showing me that I have no value because no one cares about me, no matter how much I give and try to make others happy in their own lives. Thanks to anyone who read all of this. I'm just feeling really depressed and needed to get it out somehow since I don't really have anyone to talk to
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity :shock: