Your First Time Thread Part 2 (ADULT)

Ok, so since we've gotten permission to open another thread. I will just be vague in the OP as I'm not sure what would cause alarm and what wouldn't. Remember to not be graphic. 
Anyway, I've always gotten the impression from what I heard other women tell me that my first time would "hurt". It was awkward, and dirty, but I was very pleased with the person I lost my virginity too (which is the man I am with now). I've always been a goody two shoes and when I first met my bf (who was a college football player) I always assumed that if I told him "Hey Im a virgin" he would laugh or run away. I don't know. I had read on SO many forums geared towards men that they wanted someone with more experience, and I've heard so many men IRL say this too. It became embedded in my brain that a man wouldn't want me unless I wasn't a virgin. I was so ignorant. Looking back I wish I had had an older woman to have sat me down and tell me the truth. So I went on this mission, to lose my virginity to someone. Someone who I cared about, but someone I didn't care SO much about that if they said something mean about my body I wouldn't be upset.
So I met my boyfriend, and I was AMPED to lose it. My next concern was "Oh but they said it was going to hurt if I have an attached hymen.". So I had to fix that. I did a lot of research on the hymen, penetration etc, and to be as non graphic as I can be.....I "fixed that" issue too. Please don't judge me. I know that I was taking a risk with my body but I was so self conscious and IGNORANT.
The only GOOD thing I did I feel like, is I became more aware of what my body liked. I looked at myself with a mirror, knew where everything was, and taught myself to love my body and like "sexual" feelings.
Finally, we have sex, I lead completely, and I think he was surprised at my....well what he called "energy"...lol. I thought I had something to prove so I just went crazy and did everything that I thought other women did. I got NO pleasure out of it (but no pain either) but I was more concerned with what he liked.
I lost mine in probably the most cliche place ever (car in some make out area). The trunk kept hitting his head. The radio came on and the WORST song was on...it was that Travis Porter "Ok now ladies" song. Uggghhh it was so awkward. lol. Then it got even more weird when we finished. He stopped walked three feet backwards from the car and just stared at me like this :eek:. And so now I was REALLY self conscious and I was like "What???!!!" And he was like you have a lot of energy. I remember he looked liked he had just played two football games. I remember him saying "Awww man...I can't go anywhere else tonight, I need to take a shower now!" and when I looked at him I burst out laughing. My whole body was scraped up. It was awkward, dirty, hot, and probably wasn't pretty but it was the best first time I could have ever had. Now did I like it? NO. I was SO disappointed. I didn't feel pain or pleasure. I actually was pretty PISSED off. In all the condom commercials and KY commercials they act like it's the best thing since sliced bread. It then came to me that I took risks with my body, was self conscious for a year, and lied to my boyfriend.....for this. I know now that my body just needed time to adjust to LIKING sex, but at the time I was just pissed off. Later on I told him I was a virgin at the time and he was shocked and was like "Why didn't you tell me?" and I told him how I thought he wouldn't want a virgin because he was a jock and I KNEW he had been with more experienced women and he was like "Being a virgin is a good thing, most men would prefer that over you being with every single guy on the block. A virgin is rare nowadays, Im offended you would think I would have a problem with that. You shouldnt have lied about that." He was really upset about it and I was like :sad6:
It's all so embarassing now, but Im sharing this so any other woman who may be worried about this will know they aren't alone and will have some assurance that....it really isn't that big of a deal. It's SO true that if you love yourself...know YOUR body, the man you "lose it" to will as well. Dont be stupid like me and try and "fix" something that's not broken. If I could go back in time...THIS is what I would have told myself.
What are your thoughts/experiences? Are there any myths that you believed prior to you having sex? Did it hurt? Were you afraid? Were you ready? Hopefully this will dispel any myths surrounding sex.

Anyway, I've always gotten the impression from what I heard other women tell me that my first time would "hurt". It was awkward, and dirty, but I was very pleased with the person I lost my virginity too (which is the man I am with now). I've always been a goody two shoes and when I first met my bf (who was a college football player) I always assumed that if I told him "Hey Im a virgin" he would laugh or run away. I don't know. I had read on SO many forums geared towards men that they wanted someone with more experience, and I've heard so many men IRL say this too. It became embedded in my brain that a man wouldn't want me unless I wasn't a virgin. I was so ignorant. Looking back I wish I had had an older woman to have sat me down and tell me the truth. So I went on this mission, to lose my virginity to someone. Someone who I cared about, but someone I didn't care SO much about that if they said something mean about my body I wouldn't be upset.
So I met my boyfriend, and I was AMPED to lose it. My next concern was "Oh but they said it was going to hurt if I have an attached hymen.". So I had to fix that. I did a lot of research on the hymen, penetration etc, and to be as non graphic as I can be.....I "fixed that" issue too. Please don't judge me. I know that I was taking a risk with my body but I was so self conscious and IGNORANT.
The only GOOD thing I did I feel like, is I became more aware of what my body liked. I looked at myself with a mirror, knew where everything was, and taught myself to love my body and like "sexual" feelings.
Finally, we have sex, I lead completely, and I think he was surprised at my....well what he called "energy"...lol. I thought I had something to prove so I just went crazy and did everything that I thought other women did. I got NO pleasure out of it (but no pain either) but I was more concerned with what he liked.
I lost mine in probably the most cliche place ever (car in some make out area). The trunk kept hitting his head. The radio came on and the WORST song was on...it was that Travis Porter "Ok now ladies" song. Uggghhh it was so awkward. lol. Then it got even more weird when we finished. He stopped walked three feet backwards from the car and just stared at me like this :eek:. And so now I was REALLY self conscious and I was like "What???!!!" And he was like you have a lot of energy. I remember he looked liked he had just played two football games. I remember him saying "Awww man...I can't go anywhere else tonight, I need to take a shower now!" and when I looked at him I burst out laughing. My whole body was scraped up. It was awkward, dirty, hot, and probably wasn't pretty but it was the best first time I could have ever had. Now did I like it? NO. I was SO disappointed. I didn't feel pain or pleasure. I actually was pretty PISSED off. In all the condom commercials and KY commercials they act like it's the best thing since sliced bread. It then came to me that I took risks with my body, was self conscious for a year, and lied to my boyfriend.....for this. I know now that my body just needed time to adjust to LIKING sex, but at the time I was just pissed off. Later on I told him I was a virgin at the time and he was shocked and was like "Why didn't you tell me?" and I told him how I thought he wouldn't want a virgin because he was a jock and I KNEW he had been with more experienced women and he was like "Being a virgin is a good thing, most men would prefer that over you being with every single guy on the block. A virgin is rare nowadays, Im offended you would think I would have a problem with that. You shouldnt have lied about that." He was really upset about it and I was like :sad6:
It's all so embarassing now, but Im sharing this so any other woman who may be worried about this will know they aren't alone and will have some assurance that....it really isn't that big of a deal. It's SO true that if you love yourself...know YOUR body, the man you "lose it" to will as well. Dont be stupid like me and try and "fix" something that's not broken. If I could go back in time...THIS is what I would have told myself.

What are your thoughts/experiences? Are there any myths that you believed prior to you having sex? Did it hurt? Were you afraid? Were you ready? Hopefully this will dispel any myths surrounding sex.
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I was much-too-young, but I'm glad I got it over with early and didn't need to spend years and years worrying about it. I can imagine that the fear of first-time-sex builds to epic proportions in those who wait until they are well into adulthood to experience it.
To all those considering taking up this enjoyable hobby...please use birth control and protect yourself with condoms. You can get pregnant, even the first time, and you can catch something even from people you think are very clean or who claim to be virgins. Use common sense.
I never enjoyed sex til my later 20s. I've never had an orgasm from sex until very recently with current bf while on top and it's only happened twice but it was miraculous. The orgasm itself didn't feel better but I felt closer to him.
I was ready the first time because I was totally in love and thought I wanted to marry him and he felt the same way and is a really nice guy. Even though I didn't enjoy sex he was very giving orally and I always had an orgasm.
I've never heard any myths about sex nor cared about virginity. The concept of virginity never made sense to me since it's usually only valued amongst women so I never understood the point of staying 'untouched' if most likely you won't end up with a guy who is. Also it just doesn't make sense to me.
The 2nd time was horrific and not for this thread.
I had a few different partners for a couple years after that and it got better but still not great. Then I had a boyfriend who was awesome and really showed me what it was all about. Thanks to him, I am still very much a sexual being in my 'old age'.
: )
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Congrats on your recent "O". Have you considered doing kegels? This should make you have them from penetration more frequently. I think a lot of women, or so I read, Have trouble having one this way. I've never had that issue for some reason. I started to figure out different parts of my body at a young age and when I first had one I thought I was having a seizure...lmao (again, this just goes to show how dangerous miseducation is...lol). I cannot with oral though, I have no idea why. Every woman that I know gets satisfaction from oral but me. My bf gets extremely frustrated from it.
I had the same issue, it was at times difficult fully getting it in because of the size of my bf and I feel like part of my "preparation period" was due to me being intimidated about his sizing.
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I was 26 and it was my wedding night.
I don't remember it hurting but I didn't feel much either way. No pain or blood.
I was very akward about sex. I didn't really enjoy it much until years later.
I was always taught that sex was a bad shameful thing.
The first attempts didnt work bc it hurt for me and we kept stopping. Fortunately each attempt wasn't as awkward as it could have been. Each time we went to whataburger as reward for our efforts. Even when it finally worked, it took us awhile before it was enjoyable for me.
BC: 9.6.11
when will your favs?
Fast forward a couple of years when I met my now husband. It was very painful at first and I did bleed a little. He was patient and took his time though. But before you know it we were like jackrabbits. I like to think he was technically my first.
I agree with RCW's comment too. Always use protection and be safe. Looking back I made lots of dumb decisions that could've affected me for life.
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Anywho, I had heard several stories from other women. They ranged from mild discomfort to horrible pain. Two were incredibly bad situations, and were not by choice. Add all of that to my nerves, and the fact that he was well above average, and I had many sources of fear to pull from. BUT that did not discount the fact that I was in love, ready, and prepared to *be safe*.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Jane Say's by Janes Addiction was playing on my "feels like the first time" mixed tape, he was cussing the snaps on the body suit I wore, I was laughing and thinking "Holy Isht! This is really happening!" The next thoughts that ran through my mind contained a few ouches, I hope I am doing this right, and "that's it?" He looked like he had just won the lottery, and my numbers were way off. I was still happy. I had done it, and survived! We got dressed soon after and noticed someone walking toward the car. It was the fuzz! The officer had been watching the area (O-O = ZOMG), waiting for a few specific people to show up, and we were messing with plan. He was not happy. He walked us to my friends car, told those with ID's to get them out, and walked away to answer his radio. No Sir! We quickly hopped in the car and my friend floored it. We did not look back. Things might not have gone the way I imagined, but it was a rather exciting and eventful night and I would not change a thing. I replaced virgin with outlaw.
The following day I was sore, and leery of the next time but I sucked it up. From that moment on things improved, and we managed to make a frequent habit out of it, for the next 6 years. I guess I did something right.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I was a senior in high school and was 18. I had flirted with The Guy for a year and a half. Although I was a virgin, I had been "messing around" with boys for a couple years. I had broken my hymen years earlier in an unfortunate jungle gym incident, so sex didn't hurt. I enjoyed it and went on the pill shortly thereafter.
I let the birthday girl have the bed with her boyfriend which is how I ended in the bathtub. I married the guy, but we divorced after four years after he cheated on me.
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I don't remember my first full time with a bf. So I guess the above is it. If just the top counts. If it doesn't then I don't remember. I'm THAT awesome. and I don't care.
AWWWWW that's so SWEET!!!!!!! :love10: LOL....congrats on your baby as well!
Anyways, first time (for both of us) was quick and not very memorable. Except for the fact that I got a UTI. And continued to get UTIs every time thereafter for the next year (it was LDR so we only saw each other once a month). I think I was allergic to spermicide After I went on the pill that issue resolved itself and sex definitely got better
Been having sex with the same guy for 20 years. We've been married for 13 years and have 2 kids.
I have thought about kegels and using other devices but I've always been satisfied with coming from oral. In general it feels better that way but it definitely feels nice the other way as well. I had a bf that couldnt get off on oral. He said he never could and that was frustrating for me too.
(I was raped at 11 and that is not a first time in my eyes)
Thank you!!! :-)
I'm sorry you had to experience something so horrible, especially at such a young age. I completely agree that your true first time was with your now husband. I also like your personal rule of not having sex with someone you wouldn't want to have children with. Our oldest child is 6, but when he gets old enough to hear the "talk" I am definitely going to teach him that rule.
...It's a siggie. :shock:
Awww, Speckla I'm glad your story had a happy ending.
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I understand the hesitation, Speck but I am so glad that you did not let it stop you.
I have two very dear old friends who went through painful situations. They both took the time to share their stories with me because they wanted me to hold on to (or reinforce) my existing need for it to truly mean something to me. They are two beautiful, and strong, women who had a great impact on me through their experiences. In more ways than one. You might just have the same impact on someone else who could be questioning or feeling silly about *their* ideals.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]