No "support" from mother.

skm467skm467 Posts: 6Registered Users
I have no idea which thread to put this topic in, but I'm just going to say this here and now.

I am 15 years old, and I want to transition without the big chop. I am tired of getting perms. Many reasons because

1. My hair isn't growing healthy and fast.
2. So much breakage at my ends.
3. sometimes, I get burns on my scalp if I leave it in too long.
4. My hair is just a "limp noodle"! Ugh.

My hair is shoulder length, but my ends are kind of awkward to me. I don't know how to explain it, but I will show you some pictures towards the end.

Anyways, as I say again, I want to transition, but I have no specific support.
I told my mother this, and she is always a huge factor when it comes to my decisions, but for some reason, she hates this idea of mine. Nonetheless, my father hates short hair (one of the reasons why I am not doing the big chop, cause he will annoy me everyday about my hair).

She always gets annoyed whenever I bring up my hair and the whole "natural" business. Sometimes, I think her insecurities are showing because she once transitioned for about a year. She then later, gave up and permed her hair all over again, and that was it.

She keeps on emphasizing how she thinks my permed hair is beautiful, and she just does not understand why I am going through with this. "You're going to break all the combs, leave a-lot of hair everywhere, and give up! Why even try??? I know you! You're not gonna go through it" She always says.

I am going to be honest, I tried transitioning last year, and it did not work out at all. Why? Because I didn't know about certain products. I did not know about the whole ingredients business like avoiding mineral oil, petrolatum, and sulfates. I put my hair in twists, and I got the worst buildup at my base. I did not know how to take the buildup out, and it was the second time it happened, and I lost A LOT of hair. I got frustrated and gave up. (and yes, I took the buildup out dry with a wide toothed comb, I know!!! Worst thing to do ever, I didn't know what to do!)

But now I am coming across many beautiful females with natural curly, kinky hair, etc you name it, and I am just loving every second of their hair! I want to get back into this again. I want to look different from many other girls, and I want to have this *cough* artist *cough* look before I graduate to get into my art college, haha. I know what to do now, I did all my research, bought the most amazing products, and right now I'm supposed to have a due date for perming my hair. But nope! Not going for it.

Long story, short. I feel like I have no support from my mother, or anyone around me really. I mean I do from my best friend, but my mother is a huge factor. With my mother acting this way, it is truly hurting my feelings, and I told her how I felt.

Usually when I tell her how I feel, she says sorry, but this time, she just does not care. She just keeps on telling me, I am not going to make it. Don't get my wrong, my mother is a very nice person, but ugh. It really hurts my feelings, and I can't stop thinking about it.

Other than that whole story, now I may ask you, why did you begin to transition, and did you have any support? If no support, how did you go about it all on your own?

Also, here is an image of my hair from September 2012.

Here is an image from December 29th without me using heat, and keeping my puffy hair texture. This probably 2-3 weeks after my last perm with a wash.

Also! Here was my twists that caused my build up.


  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Aww ... you look so pretty :D I think you will look GREAT with your natural hair! So glad to hear you're going for it. Just some thoughts on your parents and transitioning:

    I do wish your parents were more supportive of your transitioning. Maybe the fact that your mom had one failure at trying to transition plus she watched you pull back too, makes her feel pessimistic now. But I also bet your gut feeling is right about her being conditioned to have straight hair. And men are conditioned to think of longer hair as more feminine. But it's the younger generation (yours, in particular) that seems to have a more enlightened view about going natural. And you are COMPLETELY on the right track by embracing your beautiful, natural kinks and/or curls!

    You're obviously more dedicated to transitioning than you were the last time. You've just talked about all the research you've done, plus you're here posting for support! And no, you don't have to cut it all off at once. That's totally up to you. There's no question that not everyone is accepting of natural hair YET, but you will probably inspire countless other young and older women to go natural - just wait and see ;) I consider you a trail-blazer and a leader for setting your curls/coils free. And the best part of it is that you will likely discover just how much you love the hair you naturally have :D
  • skm467skm467 Posts: 6Registered Users
    Thank you so much!!! Hopefully I could go through with this transitioning easily without any horrible damage done to make me regret it again.
    And my mom kind of lightened up a bit because she is helping me get products haha. Yet she is kinda still asking me to annoy me "When are you getting a perm?" just to harass me.

    I think once I'm done the whole transitioning, or long term transitioning, she will probably like it hopefully haha.

    Also, thank you for your kind words!!! Means a-lot to me!!! :D
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Don't mention it hon ;) You have an adventure waiting for you. Enjoy it :occasion5:

    And please remember that we're here for you when you need support. So if you hit a bump or just want to discuss where you're at with your hair journey, please post again :D

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