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What do you call your mother in law?

JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
Just curious. I believe first name is standard practice?
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  • SigiSigi Posts: 2,379Registered Users
    I call her by her first name.

    ETA: She'd probably prefer that I call her Mom like everyone else in the family (her grandkids included), but she's said some terrible things to me in the past and I just don't want to call her Mom.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    I called her b her first name...and FIL by his name.
  • spring1onuspring1onu Posts: 16,528Registered Users
    First name.
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  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    Forever alone here, but wanted to add that Spanish makes this easy since it's just "suegra", as opposed to a three-word term. If I had to do it in English, I'd go with the first name. Anything else seems weird. I can't imagine calling an in-law "mom" or "dad".
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  • Butterfly_CurlzButterfly_Curlz Posts: 955Registered Users
    Let me first say that I'm NOT married and I know sometimes people don't like opinions from those not in their particular situation. However my brother and SIL have been married for 10 yrs and my parents still prefer that my SIL address them as Mr/Mrs (insert our last name).

    Honestly despite the fact that I am not married, I was with my child's father for 7yrs and his grandparents/family,etc wanted me to call them mom/dad/sis/bro,etc and I was just uncomfortable with the titles. I think it's individual to each family and in particular to black/African American families and comes down to respect. You do not address your 'elders' by their first name...that is how I and the majority of the black/African American (whichever term you prefer) people I know were raised and if you attempted to address them as anything other than their proper name there would be problems...even if they were not spoken outright it would be discussed later when company left (like I know that child did not have the nerve to call me so and so...my name is Mr/Mrs...) and whoever bought the company over to the house who 'insulted' the elder would be told not to bring company back.
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  • MojoDojoMojoDojo Posts: 702Registered Users
    Miss (first name). But her daughter calls her that too, so...
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  • FieryCurlsFieryCurls Posts: 2,904Registered Users
    I call both of my in-laws by their first names. My husband is the same.
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    First name.
  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users
    First name when I had them. BF parents are first name.
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  • goldygoldy Posts: 5,455Registered Users
    By her first name.
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  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
    I know somebody who wanted to call her in-laws Mil and Fil. Fil was fine with it, Mil was not...so she calls her by her first name.

    But she calls the father Fil to EVERYBODY like it's his name.

    I told a friend about it once.

    Me: She calls her father-in-law "Fil."

    Friend: ...So? Is his name Phil?

    Me: No. His name is Kevin.

    Friend: ...Oh.
  • DsotomayorDsotomayor Posts: 173Registered Users
    By her first name...to her face.
    There are many other names (that would need to be censored on here) that I call her when Im talking about her though. Shes not a very good person.

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  • Rubber BiscuitRubber Biscuit Posts: 1,294Registered Users
    Saria wrote: »
    Forever alone here, but wanted to add that Spanish makes this easy since it's just "suegra", as opposed to a three-word term. If I had to do it in English, I'd go with the first name. Anything else seems weird. I can't imagine calling an in-law "mom" or "dad".

    Ooops, I call my suegra by her first name.
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  • KurlyKaeKurlyKae Posts: 3,413Registered Users
    For the first six years, by their first names, or maybe Mom or Dad, when referring to one (to the other, not DH or his sister, then it was "Your Mom (or Dad.)"

    Since having kids, it's Grandma or Grandpa.
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  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Posts: 7,223Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    By her first name. I already have a mom.
    When are women going to face the fact that they don’t know their own bodies as well as men who have heard things?

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  • StarmieStarmie Posts: 6,682Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    First name.
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  • OBBOBB Posts: 4,174Registered Users
    crazy b****
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Grandmother and Granddad when in the presence of my son. First names otherwise...well, I sometimes call my MIL :love5: names be:love5:hind her back because she and FIL are wonderful.
  • SarcasmIsBeautySarcasmIsBeauty Posts: 5,640Registered Users
    Not married but I call bf's mom by her first name
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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
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  • curlysue21curlysue21 Posts: 5,219Registered Users
    mrspoppers wrote: »
    By her first name. I already have a mom.

    This is the way I feel too. She has a problem with it but I don't care. MIL also still addresses her ex-husband's parents as Mom and Dad even before her parents passed on. I think that is weird.
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  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I am a MIL & I prefer being called by my 1st name. My grandchildren call me Nana & I'm addressed that way in front of them.
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  • curly66curly66 Posts: 161Registered Users
    I always call her by her first name.
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  • Jenny CJenny C Posts: 1,195Registered Users
    I call mine by her first name. My mother is deceased and my MIL is nothing like my mother. I could never bring myself to call her mom.
    If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
  • rileybrileyb Posts: 1,975Registered Users
    By her first name - my BIL calls her 'Mom' but that just feels weird to me. Or I call her 'nonni' since that's what the kids all call her.
    I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but I still keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    I think it's individual to each family and in particular to black/African American families and comes down to respect. You do not address your 'elders' by their first name...that is how I and the majority of the black/African American (whichever term you prefer) people I know were raised and if you attempted to address them as anything other than their proper name there would be problems...even if they were not spoken outright it would be discussed later when company left (like I know that child did not have the nerve to call me so and so...my name is Mr/Mrs...) and whoever bought the company over to the house who 'insulted' the elder would be told not to bring company back.

    Yes this is how it is in my parents culture too. Even if someone is in my generation but much older, you add something to his/her name(although this in not enforced much in our family). And you definitely don't call anyone from a previous generation with his/her first name.

    The reason I started this thread is because my sister just got married and they visited and my brother in law called my mom by her first name and she told me she doesn't like it and told him(nicely). She's understanding and realizes it's probably weird for him to call her mom because obviously she's not his mom and he has a mom. So she said she hasn't figured out what else..I guess the best alternative would be Ms. FirstName.

    My dad and other inlaws called my grandmother(mom's mom) mom. I thought it was sorta weird too but it's normal for them. I'm surprised my sister didn't tell her hubbie not to call my mom by her first name, it is disrespectful but my mom was more suprised than offended. Not sure how my dad feels about it.

    Saria, my bf told me about suegra because I asked him how his family does it. He used to call his ex mil by her first name and she preferred it that way.
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users
    I call my in-laws by their first names. We're all adults.
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  • Jenny CJenny C Posts: 1,195Registered Users
    nynaeve77 wrote: »
    I call my in-laws by their first names. We're all adults.

    Not only that, but once you're married you're officially family. I can't imagine being so formal as to continue calling the grandparents of my children Mr. & Mrs. So and So. That is weird to me.
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  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    Saria wrote: »
    Forever alone here, but wanted to add that Spanish makes this easy since it's just "suegra", as opposed to a three-word term. If I had to do it in English, I'd go with the first name. Anything else seems weird. I can't imagine calling an in-law "mom" or "dad".

    In this same tradition, I call my mother in law "mother in law" and my father in law "father in law". I won't call them Mom and Dad - I have my own parents! Once in a while I call them Isabel and Mr. Felix (my husband is also Felix), but for the most part I call them by their titles.

    They call me "daughter in law" most the time, and by my first name. Now and then they call me Beauty (my first name is Linda, which translates to pretty or beautiful in Spanish).
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  • ShubhoRShubhoR Posts: 107Registered Users
    I'm not married. But when I do , I plan to call them ma and baba (thats mom and dad in Bengali) . My bf's family are wonderful people. I would never marry a guy with b****y parents. I wouldn't stand for it, no matter how good the guy was. In India we take family (too) seriously. I would never become a part of a family that treats me like crap.

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