Thinking about doing the big chop BUT ..

I'm considering doing the Big chop (well not all of if but a good amount of my hair ..) from my heat damaged hair of like over 4 years of straightening regularly. Just asked my husband about it and he said that he doesn't want me to cut my hair short because he doesn't like short hair, it's not attractive to him and that he thinks it looks disgusting on women. How did you guys deal with a major hair cut during your journey? SO ready to just start fresh ..

Comments

  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,342Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    is that your current hair in your avatar? doesn't look damaged to me.

    how short would you go? what does your husband define short as? a pixie? would you go to chin length? is there some length you can agree on that is acceptable to both of you?

    are you doing protein treatments and deep conditioning with heat?

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine
  • JayesmommyJayesmommy Posts: 29Registered Users
    rbb wrote: »
    is that your current hair in your avatar? doesn't look damaged to me.

    how short would you go? what does your husband define short as? a pixie? would you go to chin length? is there some length you can agree on that is acceptable to both of you?

    are you doing protein treatments and deep conditioning with heat?



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    Heres my hair when it's still damp then dry in the last. And I wanted to do something in between a pixie and chin length. My hair right now feels soft but can't hold a curl and is extremely frizzy. My husband already expressed the fact that he prefers long straight hair.
  • adthomasadthomas Posts: 5,525Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Disgusting? Really?
    Yes, it's real. No, you can't touch it. :wav:
  • JayesmommyJayesmommy Posts: 29Registered Users
    Yup that's what he said.
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Posts: 5,136Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Honestly your looks fine - not damaged. If you want a change, I'd go for layers to add volume and edge. Maybe two inches shorter than what you currently have. It sounds as if your husband doesn't like your natural hair. Did you have straight hair most of the time that you knew him?
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • Jas76Jas76 Posts: 2,283Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I agree - cut off an inch or two, and do layers. The layers would take off some more damage without losing much length, too.

    Then you can continue babying it (DT/pt) and live with that style a while. If it still doesn't work for you, you can go shorter.

    That might be a good plan for going gradually shorter - it might help both you AND your husband adjust!

    As for his comments - meh. It's your hair, do what YOU want.
    2c/3a/3b, Fine/med, Dense, high porous, & normal elas.

    Lo-poo - Renpure Keratin, SMR, Giovanni SaS
    clarifying - mix Johnson's H2T with low poo
    Co-wash - Suave Nats. clar. or coco.
    RO - GVPCB, Ion Eff. Care, TN.
    LI - SMR, Cure Care, or RO
    Seal - MO or Jojoba
    DT - + honey, ACV, & EVOO to SM masque & GVPCB
    PT - Gelatin!, CNPF
    Styling - FSG, AIF, BRHG, LALS/PS, GF curl spray gel, SM Souffle/Smoothie, LOOB
    Oils - MO!, EVOO, jojoba, GSO, SM Elixer, EVCO, VO5 Hairdressing
  • JessiebananaJessiebanana Posts: 940Banned Users
    TBH I'm just disturbed your husband used disgusting to refer to how you might look. Truly disturbed.

    I cut off my heat damaged, not chemical, hair and no one thought I looked disgusting. Actually most people thought I looked cute. My hair is very fragile and once it starts to split it will continue to split and break. The damaged hair actually compromises my new growth and doesn't look good since the curl pattern is so different.

    Your hair, you should do what you like, especially if your husband is going to be so callous in his opinions.
    3C/Fine to Medium/Low Porosity/High Density

    :love5:MoistureMoistureMoisture:love5:

    Low Poo: CJ Gentle Cleansing Shampoo
    RO/DC: DB Pumpkin Seed Curl Moisturizing Conditioner
    LI: CJ Smoothing Lotion
    Styler: Queen Helene Sculpturing Gel & Glaze

    No Salts, No Waxes, No Butters, No Heavy Oils
    No ACV, No Saponified Oils, Protein Sensitive
  • JayesmommyJayesmommy Posts: 29Registered Users
    Yeah I was kinda annoyed/hurt behind if but I was considering getting an inverted bob, MAYBE. My hair just lost the majority of its curl and I would love to start fresh.
  • rbbrbb Posts: 4,342Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    i agree with taking off two inches and LONG layers, that will help. and, of course, continue with dts and pts.

    as adthomas said, was your hair straight when you met him and throughout?

    you need to be happy with your hair. i would start out slowly with a 2" trim and LONG layers and see how your hair responds.

    3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity :-(
    washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
    leave in:curl junkie conditioners and treatments as leave in
    styling: curl junkie 
    sealants - jane carter nourish & shine

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