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No-poo isn't working as well as I'd hoped it would...

I started no poo in July, so its been about 6 months now. I decided to just cut out shampoo altogether (after a final sulfate shampoo) and switched my conditioners to sulfate and silicone free ones. Before no-poo, I rarely had oily or greasy hair. About a week after switching to no-poo, my hair started to get a little bit greasy, but after about 2 weeks it went back to normal, so it was quite an easy adjustment.
My routine was to massage my scalp with Suave Naturals Conditioner for a few minutes (this helped with my dry/flaky scalp), rinse, then use another conditioner for the rest of my hair. Ive tried Loreal's evercreme(I think) conditioner, Tresemme Naturals, and one that I forget the name of but it smelled like mint. L'oreal gave me the best results: there was less frizz and my waves/curls were more defined, and my hair was nice and soft, but it's too expensive for me to use every time. Tresemme Naturals is a much bigger quantity and it is less expensive (I can sometimes even get 2 bottles for $5, which is great) so I've switched to that. I wash my hair with conditioner every time I take a shower (every day or every other day). When I wash my hair with just water, it is too difficult to detangle and it ends up frizzy.
When I get out of the shower, I use Shea Moisture Styling Milk. It smells great and it seems to reduce frizz, and the bottle lasts forever. When I first started the no-poo method, I would only use a small amount (dime size), but lately I've been using a lot more (nickel size or maybe two penny sized amounts) and it seems to work better. I also scrunch my hair with an old t-shirt, and then I let it air dry. Usually I can avoid touching my hair while its drying so this works well, but sometimes I have to change my shirt or something and then there's no hope. I also have to make sure that I shower early enough so that its completely dry before I go to sleep, otherwise my hair curls weirdly or bends at the ends, or half of my hair will be almost straight and then the other side curly and it looks horrible.
I picked up some coconut oil about a month ago and I've been using that to help moisturize my hair and repair some of the damage I caused from bleaching a part of it, and it also makes my hair nice and shiny.
But I'm still not very happy with my results. While sometimes I have good hair days, most of the time my hair is frizzy, especially in the back, and gets tangled easily (especially after a day of not washing it). If I touch my hair at all while it's drying, it will be frizzy, and it takes 3+ hours to dry completely. I'm also disappointed at the lack of variety of styling products that don't have sulfates or silicones. It just seems like I can never get my waves/curls to lay the way I want them, and I'm frustrated. I want to give up and go back to my silicone, because with those, even if my hair won't behave right out of the shower, at least I have options for products. Maybe I just need to try different products? Different methods? Any advice? Thanks.
tldr: long, wavy/curly, thick hair and no poo is not reducing frizz or defining my curls. any help?
My routine was to massage my scalp with Suave Naturals Conditioner for a few minutes (this helped with my dry/flaky scalp), rinse, then use another conditioner for the rest of my hair. Ive tried Loreal's evercreme(I think) conditioner, Tresemme Naturals, and one that I forget the name of but it smelled like mint. L'oreal gave me the best results: there was less frizz and my waves/curls were more defined, and my hair was nice and soft, but it's too expensive for me to use every time. Tresemme Naturals is a much bigger quantity and it is less expensive (I can sometimes even get 2 bottles for $5, which is great) so I've switched to that. I wash my hair with conditioner every time I take a shower (every day or every other day). When I wash my hair with just water, it is too difficult to detangle and it ends up frizzy.
When I get out of the shower, I use Shea Moisture Styling Milk. It smells great and it seems to reduce frizz, and the bottle lasts forever. When I first started the no-poo method, I would only use a small amount (dime size), but lately I've been using a lot more (nickel size or maybe two penny sized amounts) and it seems to work better. I also scrunch my hair with an old t-shirt, and then I let it air dry. Usually I can avoid touching my hair while its drying so this works well, but sometimes I have to change my shirt or something and then there's no hope. I also have to make sure that I shower early enough so that its completely dry before I go to sleep, otherwise my hair curls weirdly or bends at the ends, or half of my hair will be almost straight and then the other side curly and it looks horrible.

I picked up some coconut oil about a month ago and I've been using that to help moisturize my hair and repair some of the damage I caused from bleaching a part of it, and it also makes my hair nice and shiny.
But I'm still not very happy with my results. While sometimes I have good hair days, most of the time my hair is frizzy, especially in the back, and gets tangled easily (especially after a day of not washing it). If I touch my hair at all while it's drying, it will be frizzy, and it takes 3+ hours to dry completely. I'm also disappointed at the lack of variety of styling products that don't have sulfates or silicones. It just seems like I can never get my waves/curls to lay the way I want them, and I'm frustrated. I want to give up and go back to my silicone, because with those, even if my hair won't behave right out of the shower, at least I have options for products. Maybe I just need to try different products? Different methods? Any advice? Thanks.
tldr: long, wavy/curly, thick hair and no poo is not reducing frizz or defining my curls. any help?
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Comments
I have high density, wavy/curly hair and plopping has done wonders to decrease frizz and drying time, and to encourage my waves to lean more towards curls. You could experiment with that.
Just some ideas! I'm a newbie still (only one month CG), but I would recommend playing around with different stylers and techniques before going back to silicones!
fine, medium porosity, normal elasticity
loves protein, hates polyquats
still searching for HGs
I've tried popping my hair twice, and for me it seemed to increase frizz. Maybe I'm doing it wrong?
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medium/thick
high porosity (from coloring)
Shampoo: Mop Top Gentle Shampoo
Co-wash: Chistophe Robin Lemon Cleansing Cream
RO: CJ strengthening, Kenra moisturizing
LI: Jessicurl Aloeba
DT: CJ rehab, Christophe Robin Prickly Pear Mask
PT: SS protein treatment, Ouidad 12 minute
Stylers: Jessicurl RR, SS Firm Hold Gel
Oils: caudalie, sweet almond
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I try to find good salon quality conditioners on sale - often at places like Loehmanns or TJ Maxx.