totally lost, really need help !

Hi everyone. I have been trying to work with my curls for many years. when i first found this site a few years ago, it was a god send. in that time i have tried many products and methods and at this point i feel completely lost and like nothing will ever work.

i have never been able to really figure out my hair properties and i think that is because i have such a mix of stuff going on in my hair. my hair's texture ranges from fine to coarse in places. i believe the porosity is low as my cuticle itself seems really rough, but the hair itself is really fine in places and more coarse in other (top of my head)

i have tried the no shampoo method (i used suave conditioner) and i felt it made my hair limp and greasy, so i abandoned it. recently i am revisiting it and i am trying hair one cleansing conditioner. again, my hair just feels coated and waxy .

i have tried what seems like every product under the sun. gels, mousses, leaves in conditioners, hair sprays etc. some were cg others weren't.

so far the only products i am marginally happy with is mixed chicks leave in conditioner but to be honest, i can't really afford to spend that much on hair care.

so my question is ; what do i do now? i am so frustrated, it is getting to the point that i hate my hair . i am starting to entertain the fact that my hair will always be frizzy and horrible and never will have defined shiny curls. can you recommend anything else for me to try? thank you to anyone who took the time to read this and help


  • Ml001Ml001 Posts: 354Registered Users
    Did you clarify before ditching shampoo?

    The coated waxy feeling is often described when hard water is involved. CO washing generally doesn't work well in hard water...low-poo is usually required (or regular no-poo treatments of bs/ACV). 'Regular' can mean even just once a week - it depends on your hair and you water.

    Depending on what condish you are using, protein could be an issue.

    And if most of your hair is low-po, you need to utilize gentle heat to really help the moisture absorb - steam, warm water, diffuse dry.
    remember, with all advice or suggestions for your hair, YMMV!! :read2:
    My hair:
    2b wavy, medium texture, low porosity, med-high density. Protein finicky.
    My routine:
    Cleansing: DCNP, every 4-5 days (occasionally use CJ cleansers).
    RO: CJSC, occasionally use JCDC
    LI: KCKT or CJSL
    Gel: KCCC, CJCIAB for 2nd day hair (sometimes third)

    Heat is my friend: warm water rinses, steam caps, and diffuse dry. I love CLU cloths and my Denman.
  • inkeysinkeys Posts: 16Registered Users
    thanks for replying. yes, i did use a sulphate shampoo (silicone free) before i tried the co wash only. right now i am trying like you said, shampoo less often and co wash between but not seeing much difference to be honest. i alternate between air drying and diffusing. some times i get good results with the diffuser, other times it's a total frizz ball!
  • Corrina777Corrina777 Posts: 3,193Registered Users
    I hated Suave as a co-wash. I found that VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea works much better for me. Make sure you're spending enough time massaging your scalp and continue to massage as you rinse the co-wash. You can also always rotate in a low-poo (sulfate-free shampoo) as needed. There are lots of people who cannot co-wash exclusively, especially those with finer hair and/or weaker curl patterns. Another possibility is a cleansing conditioner - L'Oreal released one almost a year ago, and Sally's carries As I Am Coconut Co-Wash- both great and cheap options.

    As far as properties, everyone has a mix of different types of hair on their head- you want to look for which properties are more common in your hair. My hair is mostly fine in texture (and responds well when I treat it like fine hair), but I definitely have some medium and coarse hairs mixed in.

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk
    Modified CG since 11/5/11
    CLEANSE: CJ Daily Fix, DevaCare No-Poo, CHS Treatment Shampoo
    RO: SS Caitlin's Conditioner, CJ Beauticurls Strengthening
    LI: SS Repairing Protein Treatment, CHS Silk Leave-In
    STYLE: Re:Coil, Curl Keeper, Deva Ultra Defining Gel, Curls Rock Amplifier,Sweet Curls Elixirs Okra Gel and Hard Hold Gel, SS Curl Enhancing Jelly and Firm Hold Gel
  • inkeysinkeys Posts: 16Registered Users
    corrina your answer helps a lot! i would say over all my hair is mostly on the fine side. unfortunately, in Canada we do not have vo5 =( i have always wanted to try it !

    i will looking for the loreal one! i went to sallys to look for the as i am coconut, but my store didn't carry it so i bought the hair one cleansing conditioner in olive instead. i will be trying that next.
  • jsuzkelleyjsuzkelley Posts: 610Registered Users
    Hi inkeys :) Just wanted to make sure you know that the Hair One cleansing conditioner does have a silicone in it (amodimethicone I believe), in case you're trying to avoid silicones. Also, if you like the mixed chicks leave in, Sally's carries a cheaper knock off version made by Silk Elements called mixed silk that you could try (I think this has amodimethicone in it as well - but some curlies use this cone just fine, as I believe it is supposed to not build up on itself).
    2c/3a, botticelli/wavy/'swavy (huh?)
    fine, dense, normal porosity/elasticity, dry climate
    My favorite brands are Kinky Curly, As I am, Curly Kinks, Curl Junkie, and Darcy's Botanicals. Also love sealing with oils (loving argan oil right now) and styling with jelly products (KCCC is my current favorite). Mostly trying to keep it simple!

    CG since 12/29/2011 :laughing6:
  • NvmbrCurlssNvmbrCurlss Posts: 732Registered Users
    Please send a sample of your hair to's only like 13 bucks? They can give you your hair properties and ingredient recommendations.... If u really are low porosity I would lay off the protein, unless ur find out ur hair really IS fine texture. And if ur water IS hard, the mineral deposits are going to require more low poos then co-washes...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]3B, Fine, Normal P, Normal E, Low-Med D
    LowP: Kinky Curly Come Clean (50% EVOO)
    NoP: As I Am CC
    RO: Suave Coconut, VO5 Shea Cashmere
    LI: KCKT or CJBCLI or HETT/HENOYF (w/ 8 drops GSO)

    "To much is given, much is expected"