Curly Guys, could y'all help me out with my brother?

SammySingally

Hi,

So, my brother has about 3c/4a hair which he pretty much doesn't comb/detangle (so, it's really tangled all the time), the only thing that goes on it is shampoo (with sulphates (ALS, SLS....you name it)). His hair is like sooooo dry.
The thing is, he's got like beautiful curls and he's finally grown it out quite a bit, but my problem is, HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS HAIR RIGHT!
I'm in his room at uni, he's here (can't see what i'm typing though) and like i just saw his hair stuff which consist of 2 bottles of sulphate shampoos (with about 3 different sulphates in each from the first to second line), a comb (the type with two sizes, but in my opinion, both sizes on it are S.M.A.L.L), and an afro pick.
HEEEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEE!
Please!
I'm sorry to be like criticizing him and all (if that is how this is coming out).

Please could you write like a little hair care tip thingy that's like real easy to adapt to/follow while in uni or like a letter to him that outlines the consequences that can come from how he cares for his hair right now? If you can, please post it below or send a message to me on here with it and I'll email it to him.

Please and thank you.
~Samantha

PRINCETON

As you know shampoo only method not only dries the hair but also the scalp which might possibly lead to baldness or other skin problems years later.

I used shampoo only for over 20 years and just started using leave in and conditioner about 3 years ago.

Have him start by encouraging to buy both the shampoo and the conditioner in the set and not just the shampoo.

SammySingally

Okay. Thank you

adthomas

Some people hate fooling with their hair. Others don't know how to manage and get frustrated and do nothing. I suggest you offer to wash and style his hair. If he sees how good it can look then that may motivate him to research better care techniques.

SammySingally

I've tried, many times, he won't let me touch his hair.
I'll try again maybe this December when he comes down here, but I won't be surprised if again, he won't let me touch his hair.
However, I just remembered that my brother doesn't buy his own products, he usually asks my mum to get them for him and he'll get them from her. I'm sure I should be able to convince my mum (who has like beautiful 3b/3c curls, but relaxed her hair straight - she hates her curls ) to get certain products for him, but the problem is.....which?

What products do you guys use that work well (and what hair tools, like combs and stuff)?
I order my products of BritishCurlies and I doubt my mum would want to order products for him. She'll just want to walk into an ASDA, Boots or any store and pick them up.

bobby

SammySingally wrote: »

I've tried, many times, he won't let me touch his hair.
I'll try again maybe this December when he comes down here, but I won't be surprised if again, he won't let me touch his hair.
However, I just remembered that my brother doesn't buy his own products, he usually asks my mum to get them for him and he'll get them from her. I'm sure I should be able to convince my mum (who has like beautiful 3b/3c curls, but relaxed her hair straight - she hates her curls ) to get certain products for him, but the problem is.....which?

What products do you guys use that work well (and what hair tools, like combs and stuff)?
I order my products of BritishCurlies and I doubt my mum would want to order products for him. She'll just want to walk into an ASDA, Boots or any store and pick them up.

I have 2b and have enjoyed using the Garnier Fructis curl shaping spray. I towel dry then apply the spray and then I scrunch. The gel dries out by the end of the day so then I'll use my pick which maintains the curls usually and gives it some lift.

adthomas

SammySingally wrote: »

I've tried, many times, he won't let me touch his hair.
I'll try again maybe this December when he comes down here, but I won't be surprised if again, he won't let me touch his hair.
However, I just remembered that my brother doesn't buy his own products, he usually asks my mum to get them for him and he'll get them from her. I'm sure I should be able to convince my mum (who has like beautiful 3b/3c curls, but relaxed her hair straight - she hates her curls ) to get certain products for him, but the problem is.....which?

What products do you guys use that work well (and what hair tools, like combs and stuff)?
I order my products of BritishCurlies and I doubt my mum would want to order products for him. She'll just want to walk into an ASDA, Boots or any store and pick them up.

You should sneak and have him go mod-CG. In the US there are a lot of CG friendly products you can easily find in the stores. I'm not sure about Europe.

CurlyCutie1394

Not a man but my brother was the same way I got him 2 in 1 shampoo then he started looking at my hair and wanted curls, his hair curls like mine when long enough. He realized that with just 2 extra steps conditioner and a holding product like gel he could get his curls with little effort

Korkscrew

We get so passionate about the health and appearance of our curls and those of others. But I think there's a fine line between charity and pushiness, and (speaking mostly for myself), sometimes it's easy to cross that line. My mom, for example, who is somewhere in the 4 range (have rarely seen her natural texture to know) has straightened her hair for decades. I've tried to talk her into going natural because in my foggy memory, I loved the way it looked, and am dying to give her all sorts of pretty styles. I even bought a mannequin head to practice on. She's been polite but firm in telling me no. And yet I've kept pushing. She recently said yeah, I can do a natural style on her later this year, but my mom has back-pedaled on this kind of agreement before. So part of this year's resolution is to stop asking her about it and to just accept that she gets to do things to her own hair!

If your brother continues to be averse to your advice, it's probably best to let him do his own thing. It's hair. It's not that serious (except to many of us), unless he's doing something to it that could harm his health (The cancer risk that is the "Brazilian blowout" come to mind, for example ... which he probably isn't doing, I'm guessing).

That said, I agree with the tips above. You could ask if he'll let you give him a basic shampoo. If he agrees, when you take him to the sink you would then of course COwash instead of using shampoo, then just clear it, style it for him and see if he notices the difference, and if he cares about that difference.

mrslovett

Unrefined coconut oil as a masque for an hour before you wash is a miracle.

maneman

I don't know your brother's hair type but here's a copy of the general regimen I follow to take care of my hair. I think it's easy and he may find it to be a good starting point for him to try out some things. HTH!

My Regimen | MANE MAN

SammySingally

I just went through your blog. Both of you (my brother and you) have very similar hair types.
The leave-in conditioner and shampoo, I don't know where to get it in England apart from ordering it off BritishCurlies.co.uk which I don't mind doing, actually.
I also doubt he'll ever get some gel into his hair.
Seriously, I'm tempted to get empty bottles of his shampoos and filling them with sulfate-free shampoos and conditioners.
If I ever go visit him at his uni again, I'm tempted to replace all his combs. How I'll do that, I don't know. Maybe if he steps out for a bit, I'll just chuck all his combs and brushes into my bag, replace them with wide-toothed ones, leave a note on them that says, "I'm sorry, but I had to do this," "Consider this as a gift," or something.
I'll see if he's okay with following your regimen. It sounds really good to me, but I don't know if he'll even consider it.

Korkscrew

maneman wrote: »

I don't know your brother's hair type but here's a copy of the general regimen I follow to take care of my hair. I think it's easy and he may find it to be a good starting point for him to try out some things. HTH!

My Regimen | MANE MAN

Wow Maneman, you and your hair look great Your hair obviously loves your routine lol

maneman

Do the switch out! LOL, but in all seriousness, just keep at him easy and hopefully he'll come around. Or even send him a link to this thread! Unfortunately, I don't know of any UK based hair brands otherwise I'd post it here. I will add that for me, the big turning point in figuring out a regimen was being able to battle knots and tangles. Since then, my hair is infinitely healthier and more manageable. Good luck!

SammySingally wrote: »

I just went through your blog. Both of you (my brother and you) have very similar hair types.
The leave-in conditioner and shampoo, I don't know where to get it in England apart from ordering it off BritishCurlies.co.uk which I don't mind doing, actually.
I also doubt he'll ever get some gel into his hair.
Seriously, I'm tempted to get empty bottles of his shampoos and filling them with sulfate-free shampoos and conditioners.
If I ever go visit him at his uni again, I'm tempted to replace all his combs. How I'll do that, I don't know. Maybe if he steps out for a bit, I'll just chuck all his combs and brushes into my bag, replace them with wide-toothed ones, leave a note on them that says, "I'm sorry, but I had to do this," "Consider this as a gift," or something.
I'll see if he's okay with following your regimen. It sounds really good to me, but I don't know if he'll even consider it.

maneman

Thanks! I just cut a lot off last month so now i have a mini-fro again but it's good for now.

Korkscrew wrote: »

maneman wrote: »

I don't know your brother's hair type but here's a copy of the general regimen I follow to take care of my hair. I think it's easy and he may find it to be a good starting point for him to try out some things. HTH!

My Regimen | MANE MAN

Wow Maneman, you and your hair look great Your hair obviously loves your routine lol