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if they don't like kissing

spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
Ever been w/ someone who doesn't like to kiss? At all...like hates it?

I'm someone who loves to kiss and who counts a couple of her first kisses among her most memorable and erotic experiences! LOL

But now I've met someone who just HATES kissing. He was traumatized by a weird event at a young age and has never kissed anyone.

(No, it's not my breath! LOL)

He is OK w/ a quick peck but not open mouth or tongue or prolonged kissing.

WTH??

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Comments

  • LadyV69LadyV69 Posts: 3,397Registered Users
    Can't say that I have. I've gone out with horrible kissers but never anyone that didn't like it, per se. I love it, personally and it can be even more erotic than sex.
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  • SunshineGrrlSunshineGrrl Posts: 3,823Registered Users
    Yup, a guy I dated a couple times hated kissing. He said he wanted to vomit at the thought of all the germs present in a human mouth. And sharing those germs by kissing. It only lasted for a couple dates...then he showed his true colors and I had no desire to see or kiss him again.

  • murrrcatmurrrcat Posts: 9,596Registered Users
    ^ I think that too sometimes.

    but....if I like that person I'd kiss them anyway.

    I call a bluffster on he who does not like to kiss.
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  • LAwomanLAwoman Posts: 2,949Registered Users
    To quote Liz Lemon: "That's a dealbreaker!"

    Uh, well, for me it would be. I love kissing!
  • PoPo Posts: 2,607Registered Users
    That would be a dealbreaker for me.

    I can live without french kissing, but I need more prolonged kissing than just a quick tight-lipped peck.
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  • kat180kat180 Posts: 6,280Registered Users
    Well.... perhaps it's simply because I've never had a proper kiss (with tongue etc) but I have to admit the thought of kissing grosses me out and always has done. I even remember saying to my mum and her friend that I thought it was gross when I was a kid and they sort of shared a look and just said I'd feel differently when I was older. Well I'm older. And I mostly still feel the same.

    Maybe I'll feel different when I've had some experience. But after reading this thread I kinda thought about it and realised that i find all types of kissing off putting. I never really hug my parents and kiss them even less. And I hate it when my grandparents go to kiss me on the cheek whenever we say goodbye. I will shy away from them and try to avoid it or I simply stand as still as possible and think about something else. Same thing when my dad kisses me in the cheek but he very rarely does that and my mother never kisses me at all and I don't really remember her ever doing it either.

    I think it's the whole sharing saliva thing. It just makes me feel ill. I can't even share a spoon with a friend when eating ice cream out the tub. Or drink from the same waterbottle as someone else.

    I think I'm just weird lol.
  • PoPo Posts: 2,607Registered Users
    I've met a few people (all men) who hate kissing, but have unprotected sex! Um, you're sharing a lot more fluid that way! And fluids that can get you in a lot more trouble than a little spit! :pukeleft:
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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    I never liked kissing either - until I met the right kisser. I'm not sure why I disliked it before. Maybe it was too intimate for me? dunno
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  • scrillsscrills Posts: 6,700Registered Users
    ^^ Kat180, what about eskimo kisses :-)


    I dated a guy who hated kissing. In the end, I think it had more to do with him thinking that kissing meant he actually was cheating on his fiancee. Needless to say, he was out the door quick!
  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users
    I think women like kissing more than men, generally.

    Me wanting to kiss someone depends on how intimate and 'into' the guy I am.

    Not to mention, so so kissers are certainly not as exciting as a fantastic kisser.


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  • NarniaNarnia Posts: 1,770Registered Users
    LAwoman wrote: »
    To quote Liz Lemon: "That's a dealbreaker!"

    Uh, well, for me it would be. I love kissing!

    THIS!
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  • fefe912fefe912 Posts: 570Registered Users
    Yea I've dated a guy who didn't like kissing and it sucked because if we're dating and I don't just want to hop into bed with you right of the jump, then to me kissing is one of the most intimate things we can do and then if we're deep enough into the relationship where I do want to sleep with you I need some kissing in order for the mood to be right or I feel like there's something missing or like some quick fling that you don't want any emotional attachment to.
  • NarniaNarnia Posts: 1,770Registered Users
    iroc wrote: »
    I think women like kissing more than men, generally.

    Me wanting to kiss someone depends on how intimate and 'into' the guy I am.

    Not to mention, so so kissers are certainly not as exciting as a fantastic kisser.


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    That might just be more women admit it than men. My last two exes LOVED kissing.
    "Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
  • Knotty_MaddyKnotty_Maddy Posts: 518Registered Users
    It's been my experience that people who dislike kissing are unable to/have trouble with sharing themselves, or *unwilling* to share of themselves...kissing is, I believe, more intimate than sex. It's almost like an invasion of space, if you are not in the mood for it...However...I am not a psychologist, those are just my personal impressions.

    When I don't personally feel like sharing too much at the moment of kissing, then kissing is less fun...so if DH tries to kiss me when I am feeling cagey, I don't enjoy it. Because I don't want to share at that particular moment.

    I do like kissing on the whole, but I never liked French kissing ;p mostly because I have met so few men who can do it well...I have been married twenty years now, and though my DH and I kiss often and a lot, we don't use our tongues - he wasn't one of the really good French kissers in my life, lol! He's tongue-clumsy ;p But! I love him and he loves me, anyways :) and I still enjoy our lip kisses (when I am in the mood to kiss!)

    I don't love it when people "air kiss" my cheeks - ;p it's soooo phoney!
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  • bcody09bcody09 Posts: 115Registered Users
    I used to not enjoy French kissing. Now I realize it was just the guy I didn't like. My boyfriend now is an amazing kisser and I very much love kissing him
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  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users
    It's been my experience that people who dislike kissing are unable to/have trouble with sharing themselves, or *unwilling* to share of themselves...kissing is, I believe, more intimate than sex. It's almost like an invasion of space, if you are not in the mood for it...However...I am not a psychologist, those are just my personal impressions.

    i agree with this. my relationship recently ended. i got to a breaking point when i realized my ex-bf was hesitant to kiss. once i recently when i initiated and was clearly kissing him he stopped me to say he was cold. i think he could tell i was so turned off by that. he snuggled up to me but i was over it. who stops a kiss to say you're cold when you're sitting on the sofa in the middle of your living room? a few days later i went over, we got in the bed to go to sleep and i had to ask him for a kiss. red flag. anyway i pulled back realizing that we never had great chemisty and it's not getting better. he got frustrated and said a lot of stuff he never shared throughout the relationship, much of which was in contradiction to the things he had been saying all along and when i asked him his feelings. long story short, his not kissing was the manifestation of him being closed off to me. he doesn't have any friends and he's not really close to his family (all things i noticed but sore of ignored). he's definitely closed emotionally detached and in his own world. i guess i hoped me being loving and caring would be enough. not so. sorry...that was way long but yeah, i would pay attention if a person wasn't into kissing ever in a serious relationship.
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  • Knotty_MaddyKnotty_Maddy Posts: 518Registered Users
    luvmylocs wrote: »
    It's been my experience that people who dislike kissing are unable to/have trouble with sharing themselves, or *unwilling* to share of themselves...kissing is, I believe, more intimate than sex. It's almost like an invasion of space, if you are not in the mood for it...However...I am not a psychologist, those are just my personal impressions.

    i agree with this. my relationship recently ended. i got to a breaking point when i realized my ex-bf was hesitant to kiss. once i recently when i initiated and was clearly kissing him he stopped me to say he was cold. i think he could tell i was so turned off by that. he snuggled up to me but i was over it. who stops a kiss to say you're cold when you're sitting on the sofa in the middle of your living room? a few days later i went over, we got in the bed to go to sleep and i had to ask him for a kiss. red flag. anyway i pulled back realizing that we never had great chemisty and it's not getting better. he got frustrated and said a lot of stuff he never shared throughout the relationship, much of which was in contradiction to the things he had been saying all along and when i asked him his feelings. long story short, his not kissing was the manifestation of him being closed off to me. he doesn't have any friends and he's not really close to his family (all things i noticed but sore of ignored). he's definitely closed emotionally detached and in his own world. i guess i hoped me being loving and caring would be enough. not so. sorry...that was way long but yeah, i would pay attention if a person wasn't into kissing ever in a serious relationship.

    :( sorry you had that bad experience, luvmy. I have had this kind of experience a long time ago,when I was single. Also once, a long time ago, my DH cheated on me :( and what he said in his defense (part of his defense, anyways -) was that he never kissed her! That seemed to indicate everything to him - because he never kissed her, it meant nothing ;p it was just an accident (caused by a very high stress situation.) not trying to defend DH - he was defs out of order there - but he never did it again, and it reinforced my thinking along those lines that kisses come from the heart, and that peeps can't share kisses unless they are sharing their heart.

    I hope you have better luck next time! :love3:
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  • curlylauracurlylaura Posts: 8,352Registered Users
    I've read that most prostitutes don't kiss or allow their clients to kiss them because its too intimate.
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  • jolenemerritt81jolenemerritt81 Posts: 4Registered Users
    I can honestly say, I used to love kissing as a young adult. I was lucky and had a couple of boyfriends that were fantastic kissers. However, never had any one since that great. I am married now, and I don't like it. I always wonder is it because I am comparing to my early experiences. My husband doesn't seem to care, not sure if he is feeling the same way. I love that man to death, but I do not think we are compatible kissers.
  • NarniaNarnia Posts: 1,770Registered Users
    I can honestly say, I used to love kissing as a young adult. I was lucky and had a couple of boyfriends that were fantastic kissers. However, never had any one since that great. I am married now, and I don't like it. I always wonder is it because I am comparing to my early experiences. My husband doesn't seem to care, not sure if he is feeling the same way. I love that man to death, but I do not think we are compatible kissers.

    Isn't this something you can talk about with him and work around? Just like any other intimate experience, it can be worked on.
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  • Knotty_MaddyKnotty_Maddy Posts: 518Registered Users
    I can honestly say, I used to love kissing as a young adult. I was lucky and had a couple of boyfriends that were fantastic kissers. However, never had any one since that great. I am married now, and I don't like it. I always wonder is it because I am comparing to my early experiences. My husband doesn't seem to care, not sure if he is feeling the same way. I love that man to death, but I do not think we are compatible kissers.

    My husband and I are not compatible kissers (or dancers! lol!) so I feel your pain, jolen...But we score compatible on everything else :) 'specially in the important areas, like bedtime snuggling and appreciating and accepting each other...so I have just realised that maybe it is ok to give up a few things in order to have *everything else* work really well :D Nothing's perfect, but darn, some things are just awesome as they are, even if they aren't 100% - compromise is a fine art! :D
    Finer, mixed with coarser strands, low-porosity, wavy curly whirly hair...3A, 2C hair. Medium thickness, medium elasticity.
    S-shaped hair with corkscrew ends. My hair is even more confused than me ;p
    My hair officially hates protein ;) Once a month is enough!
    Currently a fan of TiGi products, (rock on, TiGi Curlesque styling creme!) but that will soon change - I am a self-avowed product junkie! Yay! :D
    BIG fan of supersoaker method - thanks Rudeechick!
  • AntoniaAntonia Posts: 68Registered Users
    kat180 wrote: »

    Maybe I'll feel different when I've had some experience. But after reading this thread I kinda thought about it and realised that i find all types of kissing off putting. I never really hug my parents and kiss them even less. And I hate it when my grandparents go to kiss me on the cheek whenever we say goodbye. I will shy away from them and try to avoid it or I simply stand as still as possible and think about something else. Same thing when my dad kisses me in the cheek but he very rarely does that and my mother never kisses me at all and I don't really remember her ever doing it either.

    I think it's the whole sharing saliva thing. It just makes me feel ill. I can't even share a spoon with a friend when eating ice cream out the tub. Or drink from the same waterbottle as someone else.

    I think I'm just weird lol.

    Wow I thought it was just me. I really don't hug or kiss my parents. My dad never. My mom has to beg me to kiss her. I think showing affection embarrasses me or makes me feel vulnerable. I also cannot drink from the same container or eat with the same utensils as somebody else, not even my parents.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    DEALBREAKER!!!

    For me, the main thing I look for when I assess whether a man is attractive to me, or not...is whether he's "kissable". If I can't imagine myself happily kissing him, he's not attractive. I would HATE being in a relationship with a man opposed to kissing. I would rather keep it moving.
  • ShayShampagneShayShampagne Posts: 114Registered Users
    I love kissing! Its so awesome! But I could see why some people don't like it.... I've never been with someone who didn't like kissing

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  • LAwomanLAwoman Posts: 2,949Registered Users
    curlylaura wrote: »
    I've read that most prostitutes don't kiss or allow their clients to kiss them because its too intimate.

    Yes. Julia Roberts taught me that in Pretty Woman. :D
  • ThickHairedQTThickHairedQT Posts: 542Registered Users
    I dislike kissing, a peck is fine but anything else makes me cringe. Just the texture and moisture of it all just puts me off. Even looking at makeout scenes or witnessing it in person makes me shudder heck, I squirm when people let their animals lick them in the mouth and such. When I first met SO, he would always try to kiss/makeout until I told him my dislike of it and we've been pecking ever since.

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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    No that sucks. But I've been with incompatible kissers and that also sucks. Kissing is really important.
  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users
    kissing is GOOD for you!

    i didn't need an article to tell me it's good for me but in light of this thread i thought i'd share this article. kiss, kiss ladies!
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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    To those whose current or former partners weren't good kissers (IYOs): what about their kissing did you dislike?
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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Too hard and one person would stick his tongue in and out. One guy had a smokers tongue.
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