CurlTalk

Why did you break up??

triple_spiraltriple_spiral Posts: 249Registered Users
Last thread I start today, promise!! Out of curiosity, a random poll:

Why did your last relationship (that ended in a break up) end? Who broke up with who(m?) and what was the reason? Any regrets?

I ended it with the last guy I was dating because I was bored. I gave it almost six months - but in the end he kept making unfunny jokes - I hate faking laughs - , I didn't get that excited feeling when I saw him, and he never really learned how to read me. It was an awkward break-up because he didn't do anything "wrong" per se....I felt like a bit of a b, honestly, but in the end no regrets besides a little guilt.

You??
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  • PerriPPerriP Posts: 6,613Registered Users
    He was an alcoholic who didn't want to get help for himself. (despite his house burning down around him when he was passed out drunk - he had to jump out a window - he thought he "had it under control")
    Modified CG since Dec 2011
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    We were too different, in social values and in lifestyles. He liked to stay home, not travel or try new places to eat and hangout. He didn't see me as a friend in addition to a gf and liked to separate his friends from me when hanging out (except with his boring couple friends).

    He is too traditional and conservative for me. Although he is more liberal than a lot men, it wasn't enough for me. He didn't like my natural style. I'm sort of blunt, sarcastic and not girly in certain ways. I felt like I couldn't be myself around him. I'm also the very jealous type and he couldn't handle that and needed too much female companionship and attention for my taste.

    Ultimately the fighting and differences made him lose interest in me and I caught him in many lies and dumped him.

    He's wanted to try again with me and even suggested counseling but I knew I was done.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Mine lasted for 3 years. We went into the relationship not wanting marriage or to live with each other, so there was never a commitment made. When my father passed away I realized how much I wanted and needed a real partner in my life. I broke up with him, but we have remained friends.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • SCGSCG Posts: 5,416Registered Users
    He broke up with me... For a few reasons:

    1. He found someone he liked better (he swears up and down this was not the case, but I'm sorry... The timeline of his new relationship starting and ours ending says it all! Anyone witnessing it would say the same thing... And they did. And I'm not saying this as a jealous ex-girlfriend.)
    2. His family disliked me, and had been on him about breaking up with me for a while. Even though I had promised him just a week before he broke up with me that I would try harder to make THEM feel more comfortable around me. Because, you know, that makes sense... 5 against 1, and the 1 is supposed to be the one doing all the work making the 5 feel "comfortable."
    3. According to him, I "wasn't trying hard enough in the relationship" and I was "becoming distant." :laughing8: Dude, you broke up with me like 2 weeks after I got back from a summer in another country. I don't care what anyone says - that deserves at least a few weeks of transition/re-acclimation time.

    I do regret all of the time and heartache I wasted on him. We were "friends" for like 3 years before we started dating. There were other people I would've like to have dated or at least "talked" to during that time, but felt bad even thinking about it, for some reason. Even though he had like four other ladies waiting for it to NOT work out between us. Hah! I also regret that I didn't end it much sooner.

    But I don't regret the relationship itself, I guess. I learned a lot about myself, and what I do and don't like in a partner.

    Still, though. He's a douche.

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  • Corrina777Corrina777 Posts: 3,193Registered Users
    It was mutual. I wasn't happy, he wasn't happy. He was living across the country and married less than 3 months later. No loss for me.

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  • claudine19claudine19 Posts: 4,486Registered Users
    Emotional incompatibility.
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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I've broken up with every guy I've dated.

    That's not to say I haven't had my heart broken. I've been deceived and treated badly and been put into situations that have caused me to break up with someone.

    My last ex, just wasn't right for me. We weren't compatible. Although I thought we were at first, but I guess I wasn't paying enough attention. Our differences - which I thought were okay - turned out causing us to be resentful, and disrespectful toward eachother.


    Plus he's clueless, irresponsible, and a liar.

    ;)


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  • Like.AustraliaLike.Australia Posts: 2,544Registered Users
    I broke up with the man (boy) I dated before my husband. This was close to ten years ago now, so we were both very young, but he was "younger" mentally and just not ready to commit to make a major commitment. I didn't ask him to, but our relationship grew distant pretty quickly and I had to break it off because I was ready for the next stage and he was doing the opposite.
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    My last BF was a liar, a cheat and a thief. I truly think he's a sociopath. I caught him with another woman and had a knock-down drag-out in a fairly public place.

    My husband, um, well, that's a long story too. I've posted about it here though. I can dig up the links if you're really curious.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

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  • AmazinnaturalAmazinnatural Posts: 755Registered Users
    @Phoenix what is your YouTube channel

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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    @Phoenix what is your YouTube channel

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    Here's the link: Kimshi4242's channel - YouTube . It's in my siggy :)
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  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I love your tutorials. You are beautiful.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    I love your tutorials. You are beautiful.
    Oh thank you, sweetie!
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Kind of hard to explain but he has a slight personality disorder that can make him aggressive and paranoid. And he could not accept that my divorce is taking as long as it is. He took it as a personal insult. The longer my divorce took, the more hostile and punative he became towards me. Eventually, it became too stressful, basically for both of us. We never really, really broke up.

    I don't have any regrets; I loved him and might always, to some extent. But if it hadn't been my divorce, it might have been some other issue he got fixated on.

    Hard to explain situation.

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    ^^^TNB - we knew it was a bad sign when I beat him at "the dozens" the first week we met...:p

  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    ^^^Girl...I remember.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

    I am the new Black.

    "Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.
  • ursulaursula Posts: 1,461Registered Users
    Fell out of love. :sad:
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  • fefe912fefe912 Posts: 570Registered Users
    we were engaged then he started getting all overly emotional and posessive to the point where we would go somewhere and if another guy looked in my direction or smiled he'd get pissed off and say he wanted to fight the guy because they were trying to steal me from him and all kinds of crazy stuff in which I just rolled my eyes and told him that it was all in his head and that if I wanted to be with someone else I would be so he needed t chill out. Nothing changed and he just started getting on my nerves to the point where I didn't want him to come over nor did I want to talk to him on the phone. It would ring and I would look at it and question whether I should answer or not. He would act as if he wanted me to call him when I was leaving to go somewhere, when I got to where I was going and when I was leaving and got back home from said place and if I didn't call or text him back he would get so dramatic about it. I kept trying to talk to him about how I felt, but it wasn't helping the situation so one night we were talking about what was bothering us and he got all dramatic on me and I told him I couldn't take all his whining and posessivness anymore and that we needed to just take a break, but he said he didn't do breaks and that I might as well kill him so I was like.........ok forget the break I'm done. He got mad and tried to say that I was probably cheating on him or something and that he wanted his ring back, so I told him he could come get it whenever. I changed my relationship status on my fb pg and instantly got a novel of a message from him telling me that it's apparent that I didn't love him and so on and that I was like the other girls that left him and so on to which I told him I tried talking to him about how I felt numerous times and nothing changed sooo if he felt that way ohhhhh well. Then I started deleting pics of us and deleted him and he sent me another long message asking me y I was getting rid of them so quickly and that I was preparing my page for the new guy lol....I'm like my page has no concern to you since we're not together so I'll do with it what I want goodbye and have a nice life. He kept texting me these long crazy messages for a while then finally left me alone, came and got his ring a few days later and that was that.
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    ^^^Why do you think he got so possessive only after you got engaged?
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  • fefe912fefe912 Posts: 570Registered Users
    ^^^Why do you think he got so possessive only after you got engaged?

    I think maybe he had issues because of other relationships in his past he said no one ever treated him as well as I did and that I was everything he wanted in a woman and so on, so maybe he felt that he had to be that way in order to keep me not realizing that it was pushing me away because he was overdoing it and ignoring me when I told him that that was what was happening. A while after we broke up my mom said when we did she didn't want to be too happy and come off the wrong way, but that she felt something wasn't right about him and tha the wasn't the one for me from the first time when we started dating, but that she didn't want to come off as overbearing and trying to run my life.
  • claudine19claudine19 Posts: 4,486Registered Users
    Mr. Cans!

    I'm so glad you gave him hell.
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  • EricachristinaEricachristina Posts: 496Registered Users
    fefe912 wrote: »
    we were engaged then he started getting all overly emotional and posessive to the point where we would go somewhere and if another guy looked in my direction or smiled he'd get pissed off and say he wanted to fight the guy because they were trying to steal me from him and all kinds of crazy stuff in which I just rolled my eyes and told him that it was all in his head and that if I wanted to be with someone else I would be so he needed t chill out. Nothing changed and he just started getting on my nerves to the point where I didn't want him to come over nor did I want to talk to him on the phone. It would ring and I would look at it and question whether I should answer or not. He would act as if he wanted me to call him when I was leaving to go somewhere, when I got to where I was going and when I was leaving and got back home from said place and if I didn't call or text him back he would get so dramatic about it. I kept trying to talk to him about how I felt, but it wasn't helping the situation so one night we were talking about what was bothering us and he got all dramatic on me and I told him I couldn't take all his whining and posessivness anymore and that we needed to just take a break, but he said he didn't do breaks and that I might as well kill him so I was like.........ok forget the break I'm done. He got mad and tried to say that I was probably cheating on him or something and that he wanted his ring back, so I told him he could come get it whenever. I changed my relationship status on my fb pg and instantly got a novel of a message from him telling me that it's apparent that I didn't love him and so on and that I was like the other girls that left him and so on to which I told him I tried talking to him about how I felt numerous times and nothing changed sooo if he felt that way ohhhhh well. Then I started deleting pics of us and deleted him and he sent me another long message asking me y I was getting rid of them so quickly and that I was preparing my page for the new guy lol....I'm like my page has no concern to you since we're not together so I'll do with it what I want goodbye and have a nice life. He kept texting me these long crazy messages for a while then finally left me alone, came and got his ring a few days later and that was that.


    Well I’m glad you kicked him to the curb no woman wants to feel like a possession. Some men are just very insecure and it makes them very controlling. I guess the other women left for many of the same reasons you did, no one can put up with that. If he keeps that up more women will leave him, and with each failed relationship he will probably become even more insecure he needs some help...sounds like a destructive cycle, but at least you are no longer in it! It’s his loss
  • fefe912fefe912 Posts: 570Registered Users
    [QUOTE=Ericachristina;2067113
    Well I’m glad you kicked him to the curb no woman wants to feel like a possession. Some men are just very insecure and it makes them very controlling. I guess the other women left for many of the same reasons you did, no one can put up with that. If he keeps that up more women will leave him, and with each failed relationship he will probably become even more insecure he needs some help...sounds like a destructive cycle, but at least you are no longer in it! It’s his loss [/QUOTE]

    Exactly I tried to get him to see that he didn't have to worry about me cheating on him or anything because I'm not that type of person and that if I wanted to be with someone else I would tell him and wouldn't be with him in the first place, but he didn't get it and just kept doing all the wrong things. He always thought that he knew everything and what was right and so on so blah. I hope he learned, but with him idk. I just know that I'm glad it happened and that I didn't do anything stupid like going forward with getting married to him. I'm in a happy healthy relationship now that's the type of relationship that I've always wanted and my family loves this guy and can't wait until the day he pops the question and they get grandbabies lol
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    fefe912 wrote: »
    ^^^Why do you think he got so possessive only after you got engaged?

    I think maybe he had issues because of other relationships in his past he said no one ever treated him as well as I did and that I was everything he wanted in a woman and so on, so maybe he felt that he had to be that way in order to keep me not realizing that it was pushing me away because he was overdoing it and ignoring me when I told him that that was what was happening. A while after we broke up my mom said when we did she didn't want to be too happy and come off the wrong way, but that she felt something wasn't right about him and tha the wasn't the one for me from the first time when we started dating, but that she didn't want to come off as overbearing and trying to run my life.
    I meant, why did he wait that long into the relationship? Presumably, you'd been together a while before he showed his jealous side.
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    "Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.
  • Fifi.GFifi.G Posts: 15,490Registered Users
    I am really not sure who ended it, to be honest. I think I did, maybe. He had moved, but only 34-40 miles away. A couple months after he moved I knew he had started seeing someone else, but he denied it. Things went downhill quick after that, in a very confusing way, and then he completely ignored me. *In other words, very long and confusing story, about a confusing relationship, that would take all day to explain.

    He married her 8 months later.

    *It was... What it was, but no I do not regret. He was very immature, avoided conversations like the plague, and liked to keep all lines blurry. I am more straight forward and clear so it was a nightmare.
    When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

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  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users
    I was seeing this guy when I was 17 (I only dated one guy before my husband). He just stopped calling out of the blue. I found out later he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and she was pregnant, but at the time he said to a mutual friend that I wasn't spiritual enough for him because I didn't talk about Jesus 24-7. I was really sad at the time because there was no closure, but I obviously dodged a bullet there. :)
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  • fefe912fefe912 Posts: 570Registered Users
    fefe912 wrote: »
    ^^^Why do you think he got so possessive only after you got engaged?

    I think maybe he had issues because of other relationships in his past he said no one ever treated him as well as I did and that I was everything he wanted in a woman and so on, so maybe he felt that he had to be that way in order to keep me not realizing that it was pushing me away because he was overdoing it and ignoring me when I told him that that was what was happening. A while after we broke up my mom said when we did she didn't want to be too happy and come off the wrong way, but that she felt something wasn't right about him and tha the wasn't the one for me from the first time when we started dating, but that she didn't want to come off as overbearing and trying to run my life.
    I meant, why did he wait that long into the relationship? Presumably, you'd been together a while before he showed his jealous side.


    I haven't the slightest clue, maybe the signs were there earlier into the relationship and I looked over them somehow. He went from overly mushy to I know that guy isn't looking at you I'll fight him you're mine, one extreme to the other, but atleast with the mushyness I asked him to chill out and he did. In my relationship b4 him the guy I was with was really mean to me so I appreciated a guy I cared about actually being nice to me but he could be a bit much at times.
  • fefe912fefe912 Posts: 570Registered Users
    nynaeve77 wrote: »
    I was seeing this guy when I was 17 (I only dated one guy before my husband). He just stopped calling out of the blue. I found out later he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and she was pregnant, but at the time he said to a mutual friend that I wasn't spiritual enough for him because I didn't talk about Jesus 24-7. I was really sad at the time because there was no closure, but I obviously dodged a bullet there. :)

    lol wow he did't think you were spiritual enough because you didn't talk about jesus 24/7 yet he apparently wasn't spiritual enough when he got her pregnant without being married lol If he was so spiritual at the time that wouldn't have happened imo.
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users
    fefe912 wrote: »
    nynaeve77 wrote: »
    I was seeing this guy when I was 17 (I only dated one guy before my husband). He just stopped calling out of the blue. I found out later he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and she was pregnant, but at the time he said to a mutual friend that I wasn't spiritual enough for him because I didn't talk about Jesus 24-7. I was really sad at the time because there was no closure, but I obviously dodged a bullet there. :)

    lol wow he did't think you were spiritual enough because you didn't talk about jesus 24/7 yet he apparently wasn't spiritual enough when he got her pregnant without being married lol If he was so spiritual at the time that wouldn't have happened imo.
    Yeah, the irony makes me chuckle now.
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  • claudine19claudine19 Posts: 4,486Registered Users
    It scares me a bit how emotionally distraught I felt at the end of my last relationship. I don't ever want to feel that way again.
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