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PDA when hanging with friends....?

triple_spiraltriple_spiral Posts: 249Registered Users
What's your opinion on public displays of affection (kissing, hugging etc) when couples are hanging out in a group? Or even just with one or two other people?

At the moment I am almost the only single person in our circle of friends, so whenever I am hanging out it is usually with one or more couples. I try to be open-minded because I don't want to come off as the bitter single lady, but it doesn't help that I'm kind of a prude about these things in the first place - when I am dating, I'm not a fan of PDA myself. So it does annoy me when my friends start to make out, or do that couple-y snuggling thing while I stand awkwardly to the side like....should I go, do you two need a moment?? I rarely say anything though.

What do you think - am I being overly judgmental? Or is this rude? Where's the line?

I'm not very physically affectionate so I accept my judgement may be off here.....
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Comments

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Get a room!

  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    It's kind of rude if you're the one single person. It's hard to say completely, though, since you admit that you just don't like PDA. So, your friends might not be out of line so much as you're holding them to your standards.
    In any case, I'd generally prefer to invite just friends rather than couples to hang out. I mean, I'm sure there are times when your friends do their own thing, separate from their partners. So that seems to me the perfect opportunity.
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  • murrrcatmurrrcat Posts: 9,596Registered Users
    I hate that!

    That's that shhh I don't like!!!


    It's so awkward, like you're all over each other and then trying ot talk to me? NO don't talk to me when your boo thang is making out with your neck uggggh :pukel:



    I'm not big on pda either.

    Holding hands okay, arm around each other okay, kissing like once twice small pecks okay, but constantly groping and stuff. UGH.

    It's so weird.


    Get a life.
    tumblr_mji9u1Fwza1rh1wv4o1_500.jpg
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    There are just some activities that are physically intimate and designed to get the two people sexually aroused. Toungue kissing, crotch grabbing, butt rubbing, prolonged hugging, etc. Why do that in public?

    Holding hands or a quick peck on the lips to say goodbye or something is fine, tho IMO.

  • murrrcatmurrrcat Posts: 9,596Registered Users
    yea I don't care about those simple things, I don't really count it as pda..but I guess it is. I haven't been out with a couple in so long, until the other week. and the guy would not get off the girl. Every five seconds he would be like rubbing her, kissing her, not like pecks like kisses you should only do in the privacy of your home, LIKE WE'RE walking outside, and you're dragging everybody behind because you two are waddling because you can't get off each other.
    He wanted the biscuit bad.

    That's my only reasoning behind people who pretty much dry hump in public. They want sex. Like go have sex somewhere jeez. Get ur shh together.

    like once I was at a concert and this guy was all over his girlfriend like dry humping the shhh out of her. But she was just casually standing there, like he wasn't there. They def were not drunk. I could not stop staring because it was hilarious and awkward. Everyone was staring.
    tumblr_mji9u1Fwza1rh1wv4o1_500.jpg
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users
    Hand holding, a brief hug, or a quick kiss are all fine. Making out in public is just weird, though. It's awkward to be around.
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  • triple_spiraltriple_spiral Posts: 249Registered Users
    Saria wrote: »
    It's kind of rude if you're the one single person. It's hard to say completely, though, since you admit that you just don't like PDA. So, your friends might not be out of line so much as you're holding them to your standards.
    In any case, I'd generally prefer to invite just friends rather than couples to hang out. I mean, I'm sure there are times when your friends do their own thing, separate from their partners. So that seems to me the perfect opportunity.

    Yeah, the bolded is why I don't really say anything....to be more specific, I think hand-holding, quick pecks/kisses, and the occasional touch (like rubbing an SO's arm or something) is fine. The things that bother me are more:

    -Making out, or alot of kissing (like a a dozen or more "little" kisses all in a row so it's basically the same as a make-out session only "cutesy" instead of "sexy"....still annoying, guys

    - Butt slapping or any "intimate" touching

    - When they do that cutesy back-and-forth, teasing thing.... like play-fighting and talking in silly voices. Not sure if I'm explaining what I mean, but this happens a lot and it's like they zero in on each other and I may as well not even be in the room.....one time I started reading a book I was so bored.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    4a?? Maybe 3c...some 4b??? No clue

    tiny s-waves, coils, and spirals


    - Cleanser: CJ Daily Fix or KC Come Clean
    - Co-wash: Suave Naturals or V05
    - RO: GVP Conditioning Balm or Tresemme Naturals
    -Stylers: Garnier Pure Clean Gel, CJ Aloe Fix, KCCC


    "I remember your childhood hair....flowin' wild at the county fair" - kelley stoltz

    "and all the hours that you've been sitting at your vanity....may they carry you far from your misery" - conor oberst
  • triple_spiraltriple_spiral Posts: 249Registered Users
    murrrcat wrote: »
    yea I don't care about those simple things, I don't really count it as pda..but I guess it is. I haven't been out with a couple in so long, until the other week. and the guy would not get off the girl. Every five seconds he would be like rubbing her, kissing her, not like pecks like kisses you should only do in the privacy of your home, LIKE WE'RE walking outside, and you're dragging everybody behind because you two are waddling because you can't get off each other.
    He wanted the biscuit bad.

    That's my only reasoning behind people who pretty much dry hump in public. They want sex. Like go have sex somewhere jeez. Get ur shh together.

    like once I was at a concert and this guy was all over his girlfriend like dry humping the shhh out of her. But she was just casually standing there, like he wasn't there. They def were not drunk. I could not stop staring because it was hilarious and awkward. Everyone was staring.

    YES your example about your friend is exactly what I mean.....I'm not even offended by the PDA so much as I'm just BORED, like I didn't invite your over so I could be ignored.....I would hate to think that my awesome friends suddenly become boring when they couple up but that's kind of how it feels sometimes - all of a sudden their S/O is the only person that matters. Maybe that's the way it SHOULD be though, IDK, I've never been in love, only dated for fun, so who knows?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    4a?? Maybe 3c...some 4b??? No clue

    tiny s-waves, coils, and spirals


    - Cleanser: CJ Daily Fix or KC Come Clean
    - Co-wash: Suave Naturals or V05
    - RO: GVP Conditioning Balm or Tresemme Naturals
    -Stylers: Garnier Pure Clean Gel, CJ Aloe Fix, KCCC


    "I remember your childhood hair....flowin' wild at the county fair" - kelley stoltz

    "and all the hours that you've been sitting at your vanity....may they carry you far from your misery" - conor oberst
  • NejNej Posts: 2,444Registered Users
    Awkward indeed!!! All you can really do is tell people how you feel about it.

    Being passive aggressive solves nothing. A good stank eye and loud coughs can help break the tension, pair it will how uncomfortable it makes you and only the most inconsiderate of people will continue.
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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    It's annoying but lately I've been doing it. It's definitely rude if you're the only person there without anyone else to talk to and a couple ignores you, regardless of PDA or not.
  • triple_spiraltriple_spiral Posts: 249Registered Users
    Nej wrote: »
    Awkward indeed!!! All you can really do is tell people how you feel about it.

    Being passive aggressive solves nothing. A good stank eye and loud coughs can help break the tension, pair it will how uncomfortable it makes you and only the most inconsiderate of people will continue.

    This is probably really good advice....I would just hate to be That Girl, that when I show up a couple thinks "Oh Triple is here and she's all alone, I guess we're not allowed to kiss now..."

    I'm probably being paranoid. I will try to drop some hints next time it happens and see how it goes.....
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    4a?? Maybe 3c...some 4b??? No clue

    tiny s-waves, coils, and spirals


    - Cleanser: CJ Daily Fix or KC Come Clean
    - Co-wash: Suave Naturals or V05
    - RO: GVP Conditioning Balm or Tresemme Naturals
    -Stylers: Garnier Pure Clean Gel, CJ Aloe Fix, KCCC


    "I remember your childhood hair....flowin' wild at the county fair" - kelley stoltz

    "and all the hours that you've been sitting at your vanity....may they carry you far from your misery" - conor oberst
  • theliothelio Posts: 5,374Registered Users
    i remember my cousin started doing that when she got with her current bf. Once we were on the bus stop when he laid on the grass and pulled her on top of him. i swear i thought they would start having sex right there. i was so embarrassed. everyone was staring and some older ladies said, "she has no repect for herself". I pretended I wasnt with them.

    I felt it was rude and disrepectful to everyone there. We begin to hang out less often after that.
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    I think there is a difference between public displays of affection and public displays of sexual intimacy. Former is OK (holding hands, regular hugs, quick kiss or pat), latter is not. If you are really so hot for each other that you can't refrain from dry-humping or shoving your tongues down each other's throats for 10 minutes, then don't leave your house.
    If the stuff that you are doing makes your naughty bits tingly, then you should do it in private. Because the rest of the world would rather not think about your naught bits all the time, thank you very much.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

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  • kat180kat180 Posts: 6,280Registered Users
    Saria wrote: »
    It's kind of rude if you're the one single person. It's hard to say completely, though, since you admit that you just don't like PDA. So, your friends might not be out of line so much as you're holding them to your standards.
    In any case, I'd generally prefer to invite just friends rather than couples to hang out. I mean, I'm sure there are times when your friends do their own thing, separate from their partners. So that seems to me the perfect opportunity.

    Yeah, the bolded is why I don't really say anything....to be more specific, I think hand-holding, quick pecks/kisses, and the occasional touch (like rubbing an SO's arm or something) is fine. The things that bother me are more:

    -Making out, or alot of kissing (like a a dozen or more "little" kisses all in a row so it's basically the same as a make-out session only "cutesy" instead of "sexy"....still annoying, guys

    - Butt slapping or any "intimate" touching

    - When they do that cutesy back-and-forth, teasing thing.... like play-fighting and talking in silly voices. Not sure if I'm explaining what I mean, but this happens a lot and it's like they zero in on each other and I may as well not even be in the room.....one time I started reading a book I was so bored.

    I'm sorry but I burst out laughing when I read that :D

    ITA with what's been said.

    There was this couple of the train that were bugging the crap out of me yesterday. Like my train home from work is my quiet time,I like to read or snooze. I don't not want to listen to your slurpy kissing noises. And they WOULD NOT STOP!!! I was like cant you just wait until you get home because it is grossing me out and distracting me from my book!

    Of course I didn't say anything because I figured I'd look like a lunatic.
  • murrrcatmurrrcat Posts: 9,596Registered Users
    oh I've been there in high school.

    Here's what you do. Stop hanging out with your friend if she's bringing her boyfriend.


    Sometimes ladygirls get all in lust or lurve with their boo that they forget to spend time with their friends and they just toss 'em to the side. When you get tossed, just stay tossed. Eventually they'll realize they only have their boyfriend and if they're happy that way. Good for them.


    if she's like how come you don't want to hang out with me?

    be like "well you won't get off your bf's dick for freaking five seconds so I'm not trying to be around that" and then end of subject.

    You don't have to say it like that but you know.
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  • DedachanDedachan Posts: 1,644Registered Users
    Depends a bit on the environment. Definitely not dry humping, but a bit of making out, as long as not too hoochy, in a busier environment, like a nightclub or concert, is okay as far as I am concerned. People are often hooking up for the first time in those situations, and if it were me, I would not want to settle for a peck or holding hands.

    But not if they are accompanied by just one or two other people. Either they should be alone, or the people they are with form a group large enough that the two can just go to a separate corner.

    P.S. I used to live with my sister. When she and her (now) husband first started dating...awkard, yes. But what was I to do? Tell her to not make out with her bf in her own home? And they are loud kissers. I just got over it, but it's nice that we're all past that phase.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Dedachan wrote: »
    Depends a bit on the environment. Definitely not dry humping, but a bit of making out, as long as not too hoochy, in a busier environment, like a nightclub or concert, is okay as far as I am concerned. People are often hooking up for the first time in those situations, and if it were me, I would not want to settle for a peck or holding hands.

    But not if they are accompanied by just one or two other people. Either they should be alone, or the people they are with form a group large enough that the two can just go to a separate corner.

    P.S. I used to live with my sister. When she and her (now) husband first started dating...awkard, yes. But what was I to do? Tell her to not make out with her bf in her own home? And they are loud kissers. I just got over it, but it's nice that we're all past that phase.

    What do you mean by the bolded?

  • fefe912fefe912 Posts: 570Registered Users
    It doesn't bother me unless they're over doing it. My S/O and I do the whole pda thing, but we know our limits and if we're in a group we try to make sure that we don't make anyone uncomfortable or singled out and if we know there's that one uptight person we'll just go off away from them to avoid any issues, that is unless we just don't like you then we'll purposely do stuff just to annoy you and not care lol Anyways other than that we're considerate and also don't do all of that in front of children like I see some people doing ughhh.
  • ursulaursula Posts: 1,461Registered Users
    Dedachan wrote: »
    Depends a bit on the environment. Definitely not dry humping, but a bit of making out, as long as not too hoochy, in a busier environment, like a nightclub or concert, is okay as far as I am concerned. People are often hooking up for the first time in those situations, and if it were me, I would not want to settle for a peck or holding hands.

    But not if they are accompanied by just one or two other people. Either they should be alone, or the people they are with form a group large enough that the two can just go to a separate corner.

    P.S. I used to live with my sister. When she and her (now) husband first started dating...awkard, yes. But what was I to do? Tell her to not make out with her bf in her own home? And they are loud kissers. I just got over it, but it's nice that we're all past that phase.

    What do you mean by the bolded?

    Well, I'm not Dedachan, but the bolded was essentially what I was going to say (mainly because I'm now feeling bad about my behavior in public...). If I'm on a first, second, or third date with someone, and I want to kiss them goodbye, I'm not likely to ask them to come over so as not to subject strangers to our kissing. I've been known to make out in front of a subway stop.

    Apologies to anyone who's seen me on the street and been offended! ;-)

    ETA: I wouldn't make out in front of friends, though! If I'm at the point where I'm spending time with a man and a friend, he's probably my boyfriend. I generally don't do PDA with boyfriends because you can get a room.
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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Dedachan wrote: »
    Depends a bit on the environment. Definitely not dry humping, but a bit of making out, as long as not too hoochy, in a busier environment, like a nightclub or concert, is okay as far as I am concerned. People are often hooking up for the first time in those situations, and if it were me, I would not want to settle for a peck or holding hands.

    But not if they are accompanied by just one or two other people. Either they should be alone, or the people they are with form a group large enough that the two can just go to a separate corner.

    P.S. I used to live with my sister. When she and her (now) husband first started dating...awkard, yes. But what was I to do? Tell her to not make out with her bf in her own home? And they are loud kissers. I just got over it, but it's nice that we're all past that phase.

    What do you mean by the bolded?

    LOL, I've made out with guys at clubs..including guys I just met although it hasn't been that often. Point is at a club, that sort of behavior is accepted. It's a drunken untame environment to begin with.

    I've been mushy with current dude(can't help it he's so loveable like a cuter than cute puppy). When we are at games we are usually huggy and sorta kissy(not tongue). I'm sure people near me might think it's annoying but I don't care. I won't do that if I'm with friends(just one or two). If it's a group that doesnt need my attention all the time that's different.
  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users
    I'm not into PDA. I don't do much of it. An occasional bit of affection is all.

    However when the man and I started dating we were the couple all over eachother at the club. I once heard someone refer to us as 'the makeout couple'. I'd like to say I felt bad, but I didn't. It was hot.


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  • murrrcatmurrrcat Posts: 9,596Registered Users
    yea i forgot to add, I generally could not give any effs of a thousands suns if I have no idea who you are. Do what you want, unless it was like that concert incident and hilarious, then I'm going to laugh at you. Or at work which I am already suffering and then I have to watch you make out all over the place because you're on a romantic date, and my job is a hot spot for secret sex. :pukel:

    EFFING CHILDREN GO HERE, YOU FREAKS.


    eta: but again I have no idea who you are so I dc.


    but if I'm here to hang out with you and then you make out with your boo. I've put you on a list. The list called Don't effing hang out with this fool until you know who she bringing.

    Like my one friend. She would invite me to stuff, and then not tell me her bf was gonna be there. and He would be all over and hse would be trying to have a conversation and he would be kissing her while she was talking to me. WHA;LTASHLH?!?? So from then on when she would invite me I would casually be like who's all going? But then I found out, she'd just be like me. And then later he would show up when he got done doing stuff and it was that all over again. so now anytime she texts me, I don't really respond back. Because I ain't got time for that.

    LIKE WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR??? Your boyfriend sucking on your neck should be enough entertainment for you
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  • DedachanDedachan Posts: 1,644Registered Users
    Dedachan wrote: »
    Depends a bit on the environment. Definitely not dry humping, but a bit of making out, as long as not too hoochy, in a busier environment, like a nightclub or concert, is okay as far as I am concerned. People are often hooking up for the first time in those situations, and if it were me, I would not want to settle for a peck or holding hands.

    But not if they are accompanied by just one or two other people. Either they should be alone, or the people they are with form a group large enough that the two can just go to a separate corner.

    P.S. I used to live with my sister. When she and her (now) husband first started dating...awkard, yes. But what was I to do? Tell her to not make out with her bf in her own home? And they are loud kissers. I just got over it, but it's nice that we're all past that phase.

    What do you mean by the bolded?

    I mean it's only logical the first physical contacts happens in public. Going to each other's houses might suggest sex, which you're likely to not want until you've first dated and made out with the person - tested the waters, so to speak - and decided it's something you want. Until that time comes, though, you'll probably go out together on dates and you'll want the first kisses to be passionate.

    As long as it's PG-13 and I'm not made to feel as though I'm the third wheel, it doesn't bother me.
  • EricachristinaEricachristina Posts: 496Registered Users
    murrrcat wrote: »
    I hate that!

    That's that shhh I don't like!!!


    It's so awkward, like you're all over each other and then trying ot talk to me? NO don't talk to me when your boo thang is making out with your neck uggggh :pukel:



    I'm not big on pda either.

    Holding hands okay, arm around each other okay, kissing like once twice small pecks okay, but constantly groping and stuff. UGH.

    It's so weird.


    Get a life.


    I agree it is okay to an extent but there are limits! Small kisses and hand holding are fine with me but when you are in a group and making out with tongues flashing and groping in public it is inappropriate.


    For me the people don’t even have to be in a group with me they could be strangers sitting beside me at the movies or people I pass in the park, I think there is a time and a place for certain levels of affection. I saw these people in a public park this summer, the woman was sitting on the guys lap straddling him and they were going at it like they were trying to win an award. Some people don’t even care if there are children around!! I also have friends that are like that, I went to the movies with them and they were constantly making out beside us...I like kissing my husband too but common you are missing the entire movie why didn't you stay home!
  • fefe912fefe912 Posts: 570Registered Users
    murrrcat wrote: »
    yea i forgot to add, I generally could not give any effs of a thousands suns if I have no idea who you are. Do what you want, unless it was like that concert incident and hilarious, then I'm going to laugh at you. Or at work which I am already suffering and then I have to watch you make out all over the place because you're on a romantic date, and my job is a hot spot for secret sex. :pukel:

    EFFING CHILDREN GO HERE, YOU FREAKS.


    eta: but again I have no idea who you are so I dc.


    but if I'm here to hang out with you and then you make out with your boo. I've put you on a list. The list called Don't effing hang out with this fool until you know who she bringing.

    Like my one friend. She would invite me to stuff, and then not tell me her bf was gonna be there. and He would be all over and hse would be trying to have a conversation and he would be kissing her while she was talking to me. WHA;LTASHLH?!?? So from then on when she would invite me I would casually be like who's all going? But then I found out, she'd just be like me. And then later he would show up when he got done doing stuff and it was that all over again. so now anytime she texts me, I don't really respond back. Because I ain't got time for that.

    LIKE WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR??? Your boyfriend sucking on your neck should be enough entertainment for you


    lol yea that's crazy that sounds like those couples who are so obsessed with each other that they act as if they can't be anywhere without them. One thing I can say is that if I was invited to hang out with a friend or if I invited my friend to hangout, I never brought my s/o to tag along and same for him. We both understand that we each need that girl time or guy time with our friends I mean we live together so we're not gonna die if we're not around each other for a while lol.
  • murrrcatmurrrcat Posts: 9,596Registered Users
    ImageUploadedByCurlTalk1352418732.185785.jpg

    From my own dumb lady girl magazine haha

    clearly the picture sucks. I said BEST. why isn't it the best?


    it says 70something% for pda is okay inside.

    the rest are 70something% no to pda outside

    and No to half naked pda.
    tumblr_mji9u1Fwza1rh1wv4o1_500.jpg
  • Finch00Finch00 Posts: 190Registered Users
    I haaaate this. I actively try my best to avoid hanging out with a friend if she is bringing her boyfriend along. I just never enjoy myself. Even if they are not being overly touchy feely. For example going to a concert with a friend and her boyfriend, they just kind of cuddle up with each other and I am awkwardly standing to the side...here is a funny video I found a while ago and saved because it's exactly what hanging out with a couple feels like: couples who make out around you - YouTube
  • Fifi.GFifi.G Posts: 15,490Registered Users
    100% depends on the situation. In my wonder years, when I had a bo & hung out with my friends, everyone would be making out with their boyfriends/girlfriends. No one looked up long enough to care.

    Now that I am single, and in situations where I am spending time with friend and their spouses, no one is making out anymore. Sad but true. Lol.

    When I do spend time with my friends who are also single/dating, it depends on the situation. If they just started dating the person, I am less likely to be bothered by it. They will calm down or call it quits at some point. I spend the most time with my best friend, who is gay. He was so (generally) worried about PDA, for so many years, that I find adorable when he is in a relationship and all over someone in front of me. He will apologize and I'm like, whatever! I'm loving it for you.

    When it comes to myself... It just depends. I have restrained, and I have had to snap back to reality, remember I am in public, and check to make sure my clothes are still on. ;) Not really, but might as well.

    Some men are such magnificent kissers that they make you forget your manners.
    When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

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  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    Obviously nightclubs, the back alleys behind bars and such have different rules.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • LAwomanLAwoman Posts: 2,949Registered Users
    I'm in the camp of believing a little hand-holding, a light squeeze or hug, maybe a small kiss are all ok in the company of other friends.

    Full-on making out? Gross.
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