I have a problem

RBLDRBLD Registered Users Posts: 129
I am thinking of living in the dorms next year. We have about 1000 ppl at my school and i think it's something i need in my life right now. My parents are really strict as to me still having a curfew (i'll be 21 in a few months) and they have other bogus rules in my opinion...like small things like i can't have the iron or stove on when they're not home, no friends or guys in the house, no guys are allowed to even go to my room to even watch tv, and they control what we can watch on tv, this is just the ones that come to mind quickly. Anyway, i think it would be good for me to experience the full college life next year and i want to experience what it will be like living with a roommate and having more friends to hang out with and stuff. They say it's stupid b/c the college is in the same town where i live and they think it's dumb for me to pay to live there(i'm only living there cause i can't afford to pay cash out of my pocket right now for an apartment) but i was basically told to drop out of school and take care of the debt i already have and then go back later. But this is completely not an option for me.
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  • hnyhpshnyhps Registered Users Posts: 134
    yes, everyone should experience dorm life. I don't think your poll is going to work.
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  • scubagalscubagal Registered Users Posts: 44
    your poll isn't really set up to have people vote.

    But if you are almost 21- move out.
  • slinky1slinky1 Banned Banned Users Posts: 1,612
    I believe, without a doubt, that you should live in the dorms.

    First of all, the rules about the iron and stove are utterly ridiculous. You're 20, and they are treating you like a child. If people treat you like a child, its hard not to act like one, and a 20 year old should be acting more like an adult woman.

    Secondly, living with people during your college years provides a great opportunity for social growth and maturity. You'll learn how to more effectively deal with people (diplomacy), how to become more tolerant of those who are different from you are (wha? that doesn't sound right...I'm tired), and hopefully, form some really tight emotional bonds. When I lived in the dorms, my neighbors and roommates were like family, even if, under different circumstances, we probably wouldn't even be friends.

    In addition, if you live in the dorms, you will be closer to the people that you are in classes with, and it will be easier for you to form study groups, and find people who can give you the notes when you missed class.

    Most importantly, you are likely to get to know more people than you would know if you stayed at home (for academic or social reasons), which can prevent feelings of isolation that occur with many commuting students. When a student feels isolated, their self-esteem often suffers, along with their grades.
  • JosephineJosephine Registered Users Posts: 14,408 Curl Connoisseur
    Yes, before even reading your post. You need to experience dorm life. I miss it.
  • msrebamsreba Registered Users Posts: 143
    Adding another yes. Dorm life was great.
  • the doctorthe doctor Registered Users Posts: 393
    Your parents sound like control freaks. Get thee to a dorm!!!

    They obviously are never going to accept that you are an adult(adults are allowed to use stoves, you know) unless you actually go out and BE one, and no, you don't need their approval to do that- that's the whole idea! They'll get over it, this is YOUR time to grow.
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  • rubyloxxrubyloxx Registered Users Posts: 89 Curl Connoisseur
    Your parents remind me SOMEWHAT of my own. Only they allow boys in our rooms to watch TV...with the exception that the door is open and the light is on... They used to not allow us to cook when we were younger... like junior high age. But thats because they were afraid we'd accidentally leave something in there (like the last dozen of cookies that is infamously forgotten in my household)... At that age we werent allowed to answer the telephone until it was someone's voice that we knew who was speaking on the answering machine. We weren't allowed to answer the door if someone knocked and my parents weren't home. No friends were allowed to come over until my parents were home... and I wasn't allowed to go over to someones house without my parents meeting the kid's parents first. But I'm about 10 years older now... and my parents put faith into my descisions and know I wouldn't do anything they wouldnt approve of (for the most part anyway). My parents have learned though with my sister... the more they push to control her, the more wild she got. So they loosened up with her and became more tighter with me. UGH how annoying. I'll be 22 in April and my sister will be 21 in May. They've gotten to the point with her that they'd love for her to move out...but don't want to push it because they don't want her moving in with her boyfriend... Which my whole family would disapprove of. Anyway, really its up to you... But you may feel guilty eventually for 'rebelling' if you move out into a dorm... doing things you wouldnt do because you weren't allowed to... And then thats when you realize your parent's morals have become your own. I know this because it happened to me.

    anyway, move out on your own... and if they say something about it... let them know you'd like to know what the world is like outside of your home...because for all your life you've been sheltered... and you need to make mistakes and learn from them.
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  • LayaliLayali Registered Users Posts: 561 Curl Connoisseur
    I agree with everybody else. Move out!!
    naturally 3b/3c

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  • MephistoMephisto Registered Users Posts: 555
    Living in dorms isn't typically about moving out of state or far away from home to attend school.

    In MOST cases, even if close, it's about independence and cutting the "ties that bind." Clearly, you need to break away from your parents.

    Go Dorm.
    The good people do is interred with their bones. Their mistakes live on forever...
  • curls&swirlscurls&swirls Registered Users Posts: 70
    Pack as quick as possible and move out! My parents didn't have any bogus rules, but I still think I needed to live in the dorms at college. It prepares you to live in the real world without your parents there to hold your hand, but it's still a somewhat controlled environment.
    Don't keep up with the Joneses....drag them down to your level--Quentin Crisp
  • AmmerieDriftsAmmerieDrifts Registered Users Posts: 73
    Honey, go. Seriously. You're paying for it - they're not, right? As difficult as it may be to go against your parents' wishes, sometimes you just have to. They won't hate you for it. If you don't do this, you will look back on this time in your life with regret, I believe. You are young - there are things you want to experience and your parents are creating a barrier for you. As other people have stated also, I absolutely loved living at school. Loved it. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Don't get me wrong, it had its ups and downs of course, but sometimes I wish I could just go back for a day and hang out.

    There is one guarantee if you decide to live in the dorms that there is not if you live at home - you will open your eyes.
  • NetGNetG Registered Users Posts: 8,116
    Definitely try the dorms!

    As someone who left college with quite a bit of debt-trust me, it's worth it! My family wasn't strict at all, and if I stayed in town for school I'm sure I wouldn't have gone with a dorm-and it would have been a HUGE mistake. There's so much just about learning to deal with other people which is good for you, plus it's just FUN!
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.

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  • GuardianBGuardianB Registered Users Posts: 1,905 Curl Connoisseur
    Mephisto wrote:
    Living in dorms isn't typically about moving out of state or far away from home to attend school.

    In MOST cases, even if close, it's about independence and cutting the "ties that bind." Clearly, you need to break away from your parents.

    Go Dorm.

    What Meph said and to add
    Clearly your parents need to break away from you. They have some issues. May be great parents but WOW.
    ~Two friends, one soul inspired~ anonymous
  • GretchenGretchen Administrator Moderators Posts: 10,840 Curl Virtuoso
    Dorms. Absolutely. The best growing/learning/maturing experience you can have. Even if your folks were the coolest people in the world, you should still do the dorm thing.

    NaturallyCurly.com co-founder

    You are beautiful!
  • AustinAustin Registered Users Posts: 37
    Most Definitely! I think every college student should experience dorm life. You learn SO much about independence, making friends... I've already told my daughter that even if she goes to college near home, I think she should live in the dorms.

    I usually say "listen to your parents", but I think they are wrong in this case.
    "Time wounds all heels."
  • karyzmakaryzma Registered Users Posts: 158
    Another vote to move to the dorm!
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  • imagenimagen Registered Users Posts: 343
    If it's between the 'rents house and a dorm, I'd do a dorm. I'd rather get an apartment with some friends before I lived in a dorm again though. Personally, I hated dorm life, but what you describe at your parents house would make me suicidal.

    Do they pay your college expenses? If so they could say "No, were not paying for you to live in a dorm!" Is that a possibility?

  • mitsimitsimitsimitsi Registered Users Posts: 6
    I vote that you move into the dorms, too. Not being able to cook and watch what you want on TV, etc., sounds like a very stressful way to live at the age of 20.

    I hope everything works out well for you.
  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Registered Users Posts: 7,223 Curl Novice
    The best thing I ever did was live in a dorm. I still have friends 20 years later that I met there. Living on campus is the best way to experience college life.
    When are women going to face the fact that they don’t know their own bodies as well as men who have heard things?

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  • Aya9877Aya9877 Registered Users Posts: 97
    I agree with the others. A dorm is not just a place to stay. You will learn about yourself and others by doing so.

    The only issue is financially if your parents will support you if you do so. If not, student loans are easy to come by, and the interest rate on education loans is negligible and in most cases wont need to be paid back until 6 months after graduation.

    It will be something you will most likely regret if you don't do it.
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  • Bonnie.Bonnie. Registered Users Posts: 95
    mrsreba wrote:
    Adding another yes. Dorm life was great.

    Ditto. I met my husband because we lived in the same one.

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