CurlTalk

Report her or not?

SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
I used to get a monthly massage at Massage Envy and it came right out of my FSA. The massages were only adequate, but there was one woman who was pretty good. The problem with her was that she simply wouldn't shut up. And she always talked about how good she was. Like, if she'd find a spot that was sore on me and I'd say, "Yeah, that's been hurting for days," she'd say, "I know. I could tell just by the way you walked when you came in. My fingers know. I can just tell. Stick with me, kid, I'll fix you up. See, a lot of people don't realize that..." and she'd go on and on. And I'd try not to respond just to shut her up but it didn't help. and she'd also talk about her cat all the time.

Anyway, eventually I stopped going to Massage Envy. Mainly because she really was the only person who gave a better-than-adequate massage and I didn't like her.

Yesterday I got an email from her. :shock:
hello jess,
how are you doing ? I am fine.. It has been awhile. I hope everything is fine.. Zelda is getting big.. here is the latest of her birthday is Saturday.. i hope you don't mean me email you ... would like to hear from you again..

Then she enclosed a bunch of cat pictures.

I never gave her my email, so I assume that means she went into my files at Massage Envy and found it. She's nice and a little quirky but I don't like that at all.

Would you report her or just not answer her and let it go?
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Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



Comments

  • goldilocks777goldilocks777 Posts: 1,020Registered Users
    I would report her. That's a complete invasion of privacy and, in my opinion, way over the line.
  • claudine19claudine19 Posts: 4,486Registered Users
    I would ignore it and her. She sounds weird but harmless.

    Anything more, though, and I might say something directly to her, such as, "I'm no longer a client so please refrain from contacting me in future."
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I would talk to her directly before I mentioned it to anyone else. Some people are just clueless but are good at their job and mean well. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt before complaining to their supervisors...unless it was some egregious thing.

  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,773Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    claudine19 wrote: »
    I would ignore it and her. She sounds weird but harmless.

    Anything more, though, and I might say something directly to her, such as, "I'm no longer a client so please refrain from contacting me in future."
    I would talk to her directly before I mentioned it to anyone else. Some people are just clueless but are good at their job and mean well. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt before complaining to their supervisors...unless it was some egregious thing.

    I agree with both of these!
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    Pictures of her cat's birthday who is "getting big"? I would have assumed Zelda was a child or grandchild.

    For something like that, I don't know if I'd report her. If she's generally a nice person, I'd feel bad at potentially getting her fired or whatever. I'd just write back and gently let her know it was wrong for her to access your e-mail and you would be within your rights to report her(so she knows not to do it in the future) and ask her not to contact you anymore.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    It's kind of odd. Usually places send me general emails to get me to come back, as in "we haven't seen you in awhile, stop in for our special promotions this week, blah, blah, blah." This is a personal email, so she did cross a professional line. She is guilty of having poor boundaries but I would feel bad if she were to get fired over my complaint. Could it be a cultural thing?

    If it were me, I'd tell her how I felt first, offer her some friendly advice about not to crossing the line with other customers, then I'd block her.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    Amneris wrote: »
    Pictures of her cat's birthday who is "getting big"? I would have assumed Zelda was a child or grandchild.

    For something like that, I don't know if I'd report her. If she's generally a nice person, I'd feel bad at potentially getting her fired or whatever. I'd just write back and gently let her know it was wrong for her to access your e-mail and you would be within your rights to report her(so she knows not to do it in the future) and ask her not to contact you anymore.

    I agree with you. You posted while I was writing out my post! I should have hit preview before posting. :)
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    See, it would bother me a lot. This is someone touching you in ways most people don't at levels of undress most people don't see. And she is invading your privacy - to me that's a boundary crossing which is an issue for ALL her clients, if she thinks it's acceptable to do that. I would report her, personally.
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    NetG wrote: »
    See, it would bother me a lot. This is someone touching you in ways most people don't at levels of undress most people don't see. And she is invading your privacy - to me that's a boundary crossing which is an issue for ALL her clients, if she thinks it's acceptable to do that. I would report her, personally.

    But that's her job and it was done consentually and, I'm assuming, appropriately. Why is that relevent?

  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    NetG wrote: »
    See, it would bother me a lot. This is someone touching you in ways most people don't at levels of undress most people don't see. And she is invading your privacy - to me that's a boundary crossing which is an issue for ALL her clients, if she thinks it's acceptable to do that. I would report her, personally.

    But that's her job and it was done consentually and, I'm assuming, appropriately. Why is that relevent?

    Because she overstepped boundaries of what was supposed to be a professional relationship by stealing her email from company files without her permission to use it for non-professional purposes. Crossing that line is specifically why I would be very bothered by it.
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    If she doesn't know it's inappropriate to send personal emails to a customer (presumably by going through your files to locate your email address), then her boss needs to know his employee lacks judgment skills/boundaries and is a slight nutter. But you can say it in a way that expresses concern and is meant to inform him/her of an issue before it worsens, rather than just blasting her.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

    I am the new Black.

    "Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    NetG wrote: »
    NetG wrote: »
    See, it would bother me a lot. This is someone touching you in ways most people don't at levels of undress most people don't see. And she is invading your privacy - to me that's a boundary crossing which is an issue for ALL her clients, if she thinks it's acceptable to do that. I would report her, personally.

    But that's her job and it was done consentually and, I'm assuming, appropriately. Why is that relevent?

    Because she overstepped boundaries of what was supposed to be a professional relationship by stealing her email from company files without her permission to use it for non-professional purposes. Crossing that line is specifically why I would be very bothered by it.

    But why is the fact that Springcurl was undressed during the massages have any relevence or make the email-stealing worse? Are you thinking there was something sexual in the massage therapist's motivation?

  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    Maybe Net's saying that getting a massage requires you to become somewhat vulnerable, at least more so than with other industries that provide you a service. Therefore, a masseuse should be even more diligent in making a customer feel comfortable and secure. The masseuse in SC's case didn't make her feel secure at all.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

    I am the new Black.

    "Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    Maybe Net's saying that getting a massage requires you to become somewhat vulnerable, at least more so than with other industries that provide you a service. Therefore, a masseuse should be even more diligent in making a customer feel comfortable and secure. The masseuse in SC's case didn't make her feel secure at all.

    Thanks for putting it better than I could find the words to. That's it exactly - if Burger King had a "frequent diner" club they emailed and an employee had been super chatty then grabbed her email from it that wouldn't seem as big a violation because of the less vulnerable relationship you have with your BK cashier. (And I used that as an example because it was the service industry I worked in, not because I think it's especially related over other options.)
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Maybe Net's saying that getting a massage requires you to become somewhat vulnerable, at least more so than with other industries that provide you a service. Therefore, a masseuse should be even more diligent in making a customer feel comfortable and secure. The masseuse in SC's case didn't make her feel secure at all.

    IMO that's unfair.

    I think the therapist probably did think she was making Spring feel comfortabe and secure by going out of her way to extend friendship (however nutty it was).

    In every massage situation I've been in, I was told to "disrobe to my level of comfort." If you (gy) are uncomfortable w/ nudity, you (gy) should wear lightweight clothing or get them at a chiro or PT office, if medically necessary.

    I don't think it's reasonable to punish someone excessively for a smallish infraction bc that person felt unduly vulnerable in a situation.

    (Not saying this was NetG's experience but...)

  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users
    I think the woman is just a little different, and this was her way of 'checking ain't on you since you haven't been in a while.

    Its a message therapist. Its not like looking up personal medical files. I'm pretty sure if she was the person doing the treatment she'd be looking at your information. Maybe she was trying to 'lure' you back.

    I mean, you did give out your email info. You'd expect some sort of correspondence.

    I do think its totally creepy though. I probably would ignore it and hope it went away.

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  • OBBOBB Posts: 4,174Registered Users
    iroc wrote: »
    I think the woman is just a little different, and this was her way of 'checking ain't on you since you haven't been in a while.

    Its a message therapist. Its not like looking up personal medical files. I'm pretty sure if she was the person doing the treatment she'd be looking at your information. Maybe she was trying to 'lure' you back.

    App

    i think the masseuse needs a message therapist

    shes annoying but i wouldnt report her for that. she is your masseuse is she not allowed access to your personal account?
  • sleepymekosleepymeko Posts: 1,002Registered Users
    At first I was going to say just ignore her, but once you mentioned the email... LOL. Talk to her IMHO. Tell her that was inappropriate and you're a customer, not her friend.
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    iroc wrote: »
    I think the woman is just a little different, and this was her way of 'checking ain't on you since you haven't been in a while.

    Its a message therapist. Its not like looking up personal medical files. I'm pretty sure if she was the person doing the treatment she'd be looking at your information. Maybe she was trying to 'lure' you back.

    I mean, you did give out your email info. You'd expect some sort of correspondence.

    I do think its totally creepy though. I probably would ignore it and hope it went away.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I997 using CurlTalk App


    I've gone to Massage Envy a few times and never received any emails (but I never bought the yearly plan).

    However, I went to another massage therapist and I am now on her listserv and she emails me monthly.

    And another massage therapist even ocasional will leave voicemails on my phone when she's having some kind of event.

    The cat thing is weird, true. But aren't you a cat person, Spring? Maybe you mentioned that to her and she thought it was a topic you could relate to each other on?

  • RRRR Posts: 147Registered Users
    No, they know they are not supposed to have contact outside the office with their clients.

    I too go to Massage Envy. I had one therapist (female) ask for my phone number because she wanted to have me and my SO over for dinner. She even said not to say anything because she could get fired.

    I was too much of a weenie to say no, so I gave it to her. She did call, I just didn't pick up or return the call. She got the hint and didn't reach out again. She probably figured she dodged a bullet since I didn't report her. I also never went to her again.

    I would either go the ignore route or gently tell her you aren't interested and see what happens. Keep the email. She knows she is in violation of policy and could get fired. I think it is strange she is willing to risk it. If she does it again, turn her in.
  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
    iroc wrote: »
    I mean, you did give out your email info. You'd expect some sort of correspondence.

    Not from her. From the Massage Envy office possibly.

    At any rate, I'm not going to report her. I'm also not going to respond to her, either. I don't want to somehow inadvertently encourage further communication, even if it's by saying "I am no longer a client of Massage Envy."
    TWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gifTWINKLES.gif

    Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think you need to make a new version of your poster and email it to her! LOL

  • SpringcurlSpringcurl Posts: 8,002Registered Users
    I think you need to make a new version of your poster and email it to her! LOL


    Ha! Love it!
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    Obamacare is not a blueprint for socialism. You're thinking of the New Testament. ~~ John Fugelsang



  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,773Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    Love the poster idea :lol:

    I think she is maybe just a little (a lot?) socially awkward. She was either trying to touch base and thought this was a non direct way to get in touch with you, or, she is really just a crazy cat lady and thought you were too and might be wondering how hers was doing!
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • SpiralSpunkSpiralSpunk Posts: 243Registered Users
    Lmbo (not at you or your dilemma, but her), she sounds... Quirky. Sounds like she just wants a new BFF to talk cats with. If you were still going there or if she becomes pushy I'd say report her.
  • NejNej Posts: 2,444Registered Users
    I wouldn't report her without letting her know first. Sounds innocent.


    Sent from my iPhone - blame autocorrect for everything strange
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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users
    I wrote message instead of massage. LOL. I blame auto correct.

    I'm just wondering if someone in the office may have told her to get in touch with you.

    Your response sounds like a good one. It is kinda weird.


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