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Do guys really think this impresses women?

I went out for drinks with some friends at work and we were having a very good time until an idiot drunk guy kept trying to get my attention. I didn't make eye contact and pretended he wasn't there. Boy was I impressed (NOT) that he said he spends a lot of money their each Friday night getting drunk. He can afford to buy anyone whatever they want to drink...and said other outlandish things that are suppose to be to impress ladies. Geesh. I guess the ignoring him didn't register so he walked up behind my chair. I really am not sure what he said but I said loudly, "I am married." I never turned around and never said another thing. He didn't go away and went into the spiel of how he was married for 8 years and it didn't work out. Blah blah. So I simply said, "You married the wrong person." I paid and left him standing there speechless. Why do men like this seem to single out woman who are not interested? I know that they might think that some are playing hard to get but come one...have some selfrespect.

Comments

  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    Because they think they're entitled to all women at all times. Because they enjoy harassing women. Because they're hoping that the woman doesn't want to be "rude" and they can pressure her into sex.
  • RimiRimi Posts: 2,001Registered Users
    Eilonwy wrote: »
    Because they think they're entitled to all women at all times. Because they enjoy harassing women. Because they're hoping that the woman doesn't want to be "rude" and they can pressure her into sex.

    Yup. And because stupid guys are stupid
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  • RimiRimi Posts: 2,001Registered Users
    And because there are women that really are impressed by that sort of behavior :/
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  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    It's not so much that they think you as a person will be impressed by what they're saying, and more that they think you as a prize the universe owes them for being good boys ought to unlock and give them sex when they say the right combination of words. To recognize and acknowledge your lack of interest, they would have to see you as a person on the same level as their fellow men, and these creepers just don't.
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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Because he was drunk drunk people are obnoxious?

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  • LAwomanLAwoman Posts: 2,949Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    iroc wrote: »
    Because he was drunk drunk people are obnoxious?

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    'Xactly. Also sound like he was perhaps an alcoholic.
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    You can't really take a (bad) drunk as an example of how guys think.
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  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    Eilonwy wrote: »
    Because they think they're entitled to all women at all times. Because they enjoy harassing women. Because they're hoping that the woman doesn't want to be "rude" and they can pressure her into sex.
    It's not so much that they think you as a person will be impressed by what they're saying, and more that they think you as a prize the universe owes them for being good boys ought to unlock and give them sex when they say the right combination of words. To recognize and acknowledge your lack of interest, they would have to see you as a person on the same level as their fellow men, and these creepers just don't.

    The two above are why when women post excuses for why they are putting up with men they don't like I tell them to ditch the dudes.

    We (general "we" applying to women as a whole, but not necessarily individuals) are trained to be polite, kind, non-offensive... and men are basically trained by society to not have to see us as fellow human beings, with that attempt to be polite and kind seen as submission and even more sign they are correct.

    There are plenty of great men out there, but so many women still fall into the "just be nice" trap that they wouldn't have ignored then shut the guy down. Therefore guys like this think it must work. Blech.

    Speckla - good for you. I'm pretty sure YOU wouldn't have been impressed even if you were single!
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't think he was consciously trying to impress you...just wasted.

  • Fifi.GFifi.G Posts: 15,490Registered Users
    Thats so annoying! I posted in Say it I Dare You about being in a similar situation on Saturday night. Sadly, the guy was with a group of my friends so I could not shake him.

    I would say, when sober, he's not a bad person. He has custody of his 2 children (yes, I heard his whole life story) and was enjoying a rare night out, but good lord!! He kept saying the dumbest things. He made a huge deal about me never being married and being childless !at my age! He felt the need to give me pep talks about how it would eventually happen, he knew it would, and winked while saying it. Gag. And he was so drunk that he repeatedly asked the same 20 questions. He was oblivious to the words coming out of my mouth. I became so frustrated that I had to leave, which was a shame because I was really enjoying listening to an old friend play music. It was also my first night out, in a bar, since Halloween.


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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't think he was consciously trying to impress you...just wasted.

    Ya, drunk people, who are frequently drunk are annoying and repetitive, and can't take a hint, or shut up, or go away.

    An alcoholic drunk is a different kind of annoying than just a drunk person.

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  • *Marah**Marah* Posts: 8,032Registered Users
    Just sounds like some wacky drunk guy being super obnoxious. His behavior is hardly indicative of any of the that men I know. And if someone is constantly around men that act like that..err..maybe a change of environment is needed. LOL!
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  • slinky1slinky1 Banned Posts: 1,612Banned Users
    Eilonwy wrote: »
    Because they think they're entitled to all women at all times. Because they enjoy harassing women. Because they're hoping that the woman doesn't want to be "rude" and they can pressure her into sex.

    Is this what they teach in women's studies or psychology classes these days? Just wondering.
    ;)
  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    slinky1 wrote: »
    Eilonwy wrote: »
    Because they think they're entitled to all women at all times. Because they enjoy harassing women. Because they're hoping that the woman doesn't want to be "rude" and they can pressure her into sex.

    Is this what they teach in women's studies or psychology classes these days? Just wondering.

    I'm not Eilonwy and have never taken a women's studies or psychology class, so I'm not going to try to answer the question, but I have to comment on it. Why would a class need to teach "creepy men see women as objects they're entitled to and like to take advantage of them" to its students? It's not like only college students are ever told to guard their drinks at nightclubs. Isn't that just common knowledge, like "rabid dogs foam at the mouth and behave erratically"?
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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Men do not think they're entitled to all women at all times.

    Chauvinistic a-holes might, but plenty of men do not.


    I've met guys in bars, spent hours having lots if great conversation and leaving separately and not seeing the person again. I'm sure he wouldn't have argued sex if I brought it up, but he kept it respectable. I've also met lots of obnoxious, rude men who think they can say anything and get away with it.

    Entitlement comes in all shapes and sizes. Its one of my least favorite types of people. But there are some women who respond to it. Some women will giggle and go home with the disrespectful dillhole.

    But one drunk guy is just a jerk. Period.

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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    slinky1 wrote: »
    Eilonwy wrote: »
    Because they think they're entitled to all women at all times. Because they enjoy harassing women. Because they're hoping that the woman doesn't want to be "rude" and they can pressure her into sex.

    Is this what they teach in women's studies or psychology classes these days? Just wondering.

    I'm not Eilonwy and have never taken a women's studies or psychology class, so I'm not going to try to answer the question, but I have to comment on it. Why would a class need to teach "creepy men see women as objects they're entitled to and like to take advantage of them" to its students? It's not like only college students are ever told to guard their drinks at nightclubs. Isn't that just common knowledge, like "rabid dogs foam at the mouth and behave erratically"?

    The concepts of "entitlement," "privilege," "power" and "oppression" are major themes in Women's Studies.

    And I suspect the question was a bit tongue-in-cheek, as some people feel that Women's Studies literature overstates the impact of these concepts.

  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    A lot of guys do this, they keep bothering you when you are obviously not interested. It's quite annoying. I just ignore. I think they do think that some women can be convinced/pressured to changing their mind. I guess it's true because they keep doing it.
  • slinky1slinky1 Banned Posts: 1,612Banned Users
    slinky1 wrote: »

    Is this what they teach in women's studies or psychology classes these days? Just wondering.

    I'm not Eilonwy and have never taken a women's studies or psychology class, so I'm not going to try to answer the question, but I have to comment on it. Why would a class need to teach "creepy men see women as objects they're entitled to and like to take advantage of them" to its students? It's not like only college students are ever told to guard their drinks at nightclubs. Isn't that just common knowledge, like "rabid dogs foam at the mouth and behave erratically"?

    The concepts of "entitlement," "privilege," "power" and "oppression" are major themes in Women's Studies.

    And I suspect the question was a bit tongue-in-cheek, as some people feel that Women's Studies literature overstates the impact of these concepts.

    No, I honestly wanted to know. If anyone would know the answer to that, she waould.

    I suppose it would be tongue-in-cheek if, deep down, I didn't kinda believe that. I want it to be tongue-in-cheek.
    ;)
  • wild_sasparillawild_sasparilla Posts: 4,306Registered Users
    Iroc, I highly doubt that Eilonwy was saying that all men think they're entitled to women at all times. The OP phrased her question about a drunken jerk referring to men in general, but a lot of us just sort of responded to the implied "Why would this loser behave this way?" in it.

    Slinky1, do you mean that deep down you agree with Eilonwy's post or that deep down you believe that Women's Studies courses overstate the impact of the concepts of entitlement, privilege, etc?
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  • slinky1slinky1 Banned Posts: 1,612Banned Users
    I originally meant the former, but I guess I can see how both are true.

    It seems like men see women and believe that they are ALL there for the choosing, not taking into account whether or not the woman will even like them or not or what they look like or what job they have (etc...). As if every woman just wants male attention and that's enough. As if every one of us lives and dies by their approval.

    I guess all men don't think like that...or all men don't think like that ALL of the time (there are probably some moments of clarity). A lot of men who don't like that are probably the miserable ones who turn bitter and creepy ("oh poor me I'm such a nice guy" syndrome).

    I think women's studies courses and minority studies courses do enhance the victimization perspective. However, I do believe that their themes have provided at least some benefit to both groups in terms of greater sensitivity.
    ;)
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    I don't think he was consciously trying to impress you...just wasted.

    It wouldn't have been annoying if that was true. He made it a point to walk from one end of the bar and come stand right next to me to try and find out my name and let me know he was interested in me. I never turned my head or made eye contact with him. He wouldn't go away and kept talking. He liked my blue hair, I was pretty...blah blah...
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Speckla wrote: »
    I don't think he was consciously trying to impress you...just wasted.

    It wouldn't have been annoying if that was true. He made it a point to walk from one end of the bar and come stand right next to me to try and find out my name and let me know he was interested in me. I never turned my head or made eye contact with him. He wouldn't go away and kept talking. He liked my blue hair, I was pretty...blah blah...

    Oh, I believed you when you said he was targeting you, specifically. Just that when somone is that intoxicated, the things they say and do are not conscious, ie., deliberate. Like he didn't plan beforehand, "if I say this, she will be impressed by me."

    Stuff just comes spewing out.