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Am I being too sensitive-Mom's Memorial

xcptnlxcptnl Posts: 15,678Registered Users
My mom's memorial is this coming weekend and my sister has said she is going to speak and she sent my brother and I what she is going to say (the majority of it is a prayer we had on the wake announcement). The beginning is this:

OUR MOTHER
WE NEVER DOUBTED HER LOVE FOR US OR THE GIFTS SHE GAVE US;
FOR JOHN, HIS GIFT TO CHAT WITH ANYONE
FOR SUSAN, THE WONDERFUL LAUGH
FOR MYSELF, THE SUNSHINE ATTITUDE

I am Susan. Why do I feel like what she wrote about me is kinda lame. A laugh? In comparison to being friendly for my brother and a great attitude for herself? Or am I just being the bratty baby of the family???
Central Massachusetts

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~

Comments

  • LAwomanLAwoman Posts: 2,949Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I agree that "laugh" seems a bit lame compared to the others.

    How about just "her wonderful sense of humor" instead?
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    No, that is kinda lame-sounding. Maybe ask her about it?
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  • PoodleheadPoodlehead Posts: 6,959Registered Users
    I had a similar thing at my dad's funeral. My cousin was the one elected to speak, and he had eloquent things to say about each of my four siblings, and for me it was "Maureen? She's always glad to see you." WTH does that even mean.

    My dad died 12 years ago. Clearly I haven't let it go. You would probably do well to not take it to heart.
    Minneapolis, MN
  • PoPo Posts: 2,607Registered Users
    It's not lame at all.

    I love hearing a good laugh. People are often described by their laughs. And laughing is contagious.
    3c/4a
  • midgimidgi Posts: 2,409Registered Users
    I don't think it's that lame. People always tell me I laugh like my mom. but if you don't like it, I would just ask her if she could pick something other quality.
    I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.
  • xcptnlxcptnl Posts: 15,678Registered Users
    It is not that I do not like it. I dunno. It is hard to explain. Probably just stupid family dynamics and I should not let it get to me.

    I think it goes back to the other thread recently where I mentioned that people often sort of pick on me about it.
    Central Massachusetts

    One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

    In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    Well, you did say it's something people comment on, and if your mom's laugh was the same, I think it's kind of sweet. Something distinctive that only you two shared. :)
    I can also see why you'd feel as you do, though.
    por-que-no-te-callas.jpg
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    If you don't like it, then call your sister and have her change it. If her attitute really is sunshine-y, she'll understand not give you grief about it.

    Or...speak at the memorial service yourself, and say what you want to say. You don't need anyone's permission to speak...just do it.
  • DevushkaDevushka Posts: 1,080Registered Users
    Since your mom's memorial service is as important to you as it is to your brother and sister, perhaps you can simply say something like this to your sister..."You know, I've always appreciated how I got mom's great sense of humor. Since her memorial service means so much to each of us, I'd really prefer that you say it that way -- FOR SUSAN, A WONDERFUL SENSE OF HUMOR." (<-- or actually whatever else you think you inherited from your mother.)

    Being straightforward about it now may do a lot to avoid family problems later. Again, she was mom to all of you, so it seems perfectly reasonable for you to ask that your impression of what you inherited from her be what's expressed at the service.
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It hasn't been a year, has it??

    I guess I would prefer "sense of humor," too.

    I don't even know you, but it seems like you have the sunshine-y attitude & gift of gab, too. And I'm sure people in attendance will know you have all that & more.

    Sent from my SCH-I500 using CurlTalk App

  • xcptnlxcptnl Posts: 15,678Registered Users
    This is what I sent her.

    The more I think about it i realized my laugh has gotten me into trouble over the years (as i recall mom saying it did her too :) )and I would rather not have it feel negative to me. How about if you say her love of reading for me??
    Central Massachusetts

    One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

    In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
  • xcptnlxcptnl Posts: 15,678Registered Users
    It hasn't been a year, has it??

    I guess I would prefer "sense of humor," too.

    I don't even know you, but it seems like you have the sunshine-y attitude & gift of gab, too. And I'm sure people in attendance will know you have all that & more.

    Sent from my SCH-I500 using CurlTalk App

    Awwww thank you. It's not really a memorial but we are spreading her ashes since it was not good weather to do that when she passed away.
    Central Massachusetts

    One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

    In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
  • roseannadanaroseannadana Posts: 5,632Registered Users
    You are not being too sensitive. I think each child should be the one to say what they "got" from Mom.

    I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    xcptnl wrote: »
    My mom's memorial is this coming weekend and my sister has said she is going to speak and she sent my brother and I what she is going to say (the majority of it is a prayer we had on the wake announcement). The beginning is this:

    OUR MOTHER
    WE NEVER DOUBTED HER LOVE FOR US OR THE GIFTS SHE GAVE US;
    FOR JOHN, HIS GIFT TO CHAT WITH ANYONE
    FOR SUSAN, THE WONDERFUL LAUGH
    FOR MYSELF, THE SUNSHINE ATTITUDE

    I am Susan. Why do I feel like what she wrote about me is kinda lame. A laugh? In comparison to being friendly for my brother and a great attitude for herself? Or am I just being the bratty baby of the family???
    Poodlehead wrote: »
    I had a similar thing at my dad's funeral. My cousin was the one elected to speak, and he had eloquent things to say about each of my four siblings, and for me it was "Maureen? She's always glad to see you." WTH does that even mean.

    My dad died 12 years ago. Clearly I haven't let it go. You would probably do well to not take it to heart.


    I think that you are perfectly within your rights to feel whatever you feel! I'm guessing in both of your cases it was seen as a positive from the person who said it. I have some people who have these laughs which I just can't help but laugh with them if they're laughing. And if my mom had one and I had a sibling who inherited it, I would cherish that. Even so, I can TOTALLY see not feeling that way if someone wanted to say it about you, especially given some people make fun of the laugh.

    Poodle - that's another one where I would see it positively! Haven't you ever had someone who had that kind of personality that they just make everyone feel welcome and cherished? I so value that type of warmth person, and think it's a great thing for you to show. But same thing, if it's not how you see yourself or what you want said, I can understand you not liking it!

    I think the email was perfectly appropriate, because while she may see you one way and love it, your wishes matter as well. I hope you have a lovely time reminiscing at the memorial and that it helps heal anything you need to heal - plus lets you remember the good times. :)
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  • PoodleheadPoodlehead Posts: 6,959Registered Users
    Thanks, 'Nette. :)
    Minneapolis, MN
  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,498Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    Po wrote: »
    People are often described by their laughs.

    this is me... people tell me all the time how much they love to hear me laugh.

    so i don't think it's lame.
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  • xcptnlxcptnl Posts: 15,678Registered Users
    Thanks everyone. I feel better now that I asked her to change it. I always feel self conscious about my laugh as people commit/ kid about it. And my mom would tell stories how she got caught doing something because people heard her laughing. We both have that in common. Just one of those weird things about me I guess.
    Central Massachusetts

    One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

    In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    I didn't think there was anything odd about your laugh. It was delightful just like the rest of you. :)
    por-que-no-te-callas.jpg
  • xcptnlxcptnl Posts: 15,678Registered Users
    Saria wrote: »
    I didn't think there was anything odd about your laugh. It was delightful just like the rest of you. :)

    I love you. :).
    Central Massachusetts

    One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

    In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
  • CurliLocksCurliLocks Posts: 10,572Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    I'm glad you were able to come up with something that was more meaningful for you. :) I don't think it sounded bad about the laugh, maybe could have been worded differently, but I like the love of reading! So you have 2 of your mom's gifts. :) :queen:
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